Yunho woke up with a start to find himself lying on the sofa,a blanket covering him and his arms empty.He was sure that he was holding Changmin when he fell asleep.He yawned, rubbing his eyes.There was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen and Yunho smiled. Jaejoong was back.He got up and stretched,a soft sigh escaping him as his cramped muscles protested from sudden action and went to the kitchen.

He saw Jaejoong by the stove,his back to him.He seemed to be busy with stirring something on the stove.Yunho went and wrapped his arms around Jaejoong waist,the back hug somehow calming and peaceful.Jaejoong jumped slightly before turning to his head sideways to look at Yunho who pecked the soft cheek.

'Hey,you awake?',Jaejoong asked softly,looking away to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks.This was so new a sensation to him.

'Where is Changmin?',Yunho asked.

'He is sleeping in the bedroom.You should have slept there too,if you are tired', Jaejoong said.Yunho just hummed in response,nuzzling the snow-white,fragrant nape.The lovely smell of kimchi hit him,making his stomach growl.Jaejoong chuckled while Yunho pouted slightly.

'Dinner will be ready in moments.Just waiting for Yoochun and Su',Jaejoong said,placing a lid on the stew to let it come to a simmer.He turned to see an adorable pout on Yunho's face.The first cute side he had seen of the usually poised and cool man.He smiled at the face,squealing on the inside.

'Why them?',Yunho asked,pout growing more.Jaejoong laughed as he pecked Yunho's cheek.

'They did help us a lot,you know.And it's been a long time since we all met',Jaejoong said.Yunho sighed as he kissed Jaejoong,his arms wrapping tighter around the slim waist. He nudged at Jaejoong's lips with his tongue to ask for entrance and Jaejoong flushed even more as he shyly opened his lips.The moment their tongues touched,Jaejoong's legs almost gave out from the shock of pleasure running through him.So unlike any kisses he had before.It was so intense.

They parted to let air into their lungs.Jaejoong blushed even more when he met Yunho's dark gaze penetrating into him.He could see love and something else into them.Something more primal.Something which made him look away,heat spreading through his body.He coughed awkwardly as he separated from Yunho,mumbling something about seeing to Changmin.

This was enough for now.

                                                                          -x-x-x-

'Thank you for having us over,Jaejoong',Yoochun said as he settled by the table.Jaejoong smiled at him,holding Changmin who clung to him like a koala with one hand and setting the chopsticks with other.Junsu rolled his eyes as he set the pot of Kimchi Jiggae on the table.The delicious smell was already making everyone drool.While Changmin frowned a bit.He had wanted Jaejoong all to himslef.Along with the kimchi jiggae.Just the three of them.But when he saw his mother smile at him,patting him with tenderness,he forgot his grouchiness and snuggled more into the warm chest.He closed his eyes,tired and sleepy. His body still ached a lot,but he bore it up,not wanting to see his umma's sad face.

'Minnie,eat before you sleep,baby',Jaejoong whispered, and massaging the small limbs to relieve the dull pain in them.His strong boy hadn't made a single sound,but Jaejoong knew that the small body of his toddler must be in a lot of pain.And it hurt him to see his baby boy bear it all silently.Changmin opened his eyes,looking blearily to see his umma smiling at him.He wanted to eat but he was too exhausted to even think about it.He shook his before yawning cutely.

'I will put him to bed and come.You guys can start eating',Jaejoong said,getting up.He hummed lightly Changmin's favourite melody,opening the bedroom door.He went to the window,knowing that Changmin loves it here.He rocked him gently,his own body swinging to the tune.Changmin yawned again as he closed his eyes,inhaling in deeply the warm and sweet fragrance of his mother.It was peaceful and quiet here.And his mother close to him.Just the way he liked.Only the two of them.

'Umma',Changmin mumbled sleepily.

'Yes baby?',Jaejoong whispered softly.He shifted Changmin lightly so that the little boy was able to snuggle more into Jaejoong.

'Pwease.No Go',he said softly,trembling a bit.He cuddled against Jaejoong as much as he could,really missing the warmth.He was scared.Scared that his mother would leave him. Just like his father did.He didn't know the exact reason,but he was clever enough to know that never once he saw his father.Ever.All his 3 years' life,he only knew his umma, Junsu and halmoni.And the thought of his umma going away scared him.

'I will always be here,baby.Umma will never leave you',Jaejoong said,somehow reading the thoughts in his son's mind.He kissed his forehead,before proceeding to rock the toddler, singing softly.He felt Changmin relax and soon enough the tight grip on his shirt loosened,indicating that he was asleep.Jaejoong settled the little boy on the bed and tucked him in snuggly.He the forehead,carefully avoiding the bandages.His son was so small.So frail.How did he bore up so much?Become so mature at just 3 years of life?Jaejoong felt really guilty.If only he had paid more attention to his baby.Changmin could have been like other kids his age.Care-free and happy.Not being alone and forced to grow up quickly.Where had he gone so terribly wrong?

'It will be alright,Jae.Just have faith',a deep voice said from doorway.Jaejoong looked up to see Yunho enter the room.He sat beside Jaejoong on the bed,gently massaging Changmin's fatigued body.

'I don't know when Changmin grew up so much.Became so mature.He is just three.Where was I all this time when my baby grew up?How come I was not there for him?,Jaejoong whispered,his voice quivering slightly.Yunho looked at him,able to sense his despair and guilt,even if he was not able to see him.He reached out and pulled Jaejoong in a hug.

'Everytime I see him,he behaves so differently from other 3 year olds.Behaves so ahead of his age.Like he was never a child.He never throws tantrums.Never demands anything. Never balks or sulks.I wonder where I was',Jaejoong said,head buried in yunho's chest, his own clenching painfully.Yunho just rocked him,knowing it was better to let him speak.

'His father abandoned us before he was even born.I couldn't do anything.He was just a week old when I started working to support us.I couldn't be with him when he needed me the most.I can't be there for him even now',Jaejoong said and Yunho tightened his hug when Jaejoong trembled slightly.He wished to murder the bastard who did this to Jaejoong and Changmin.

'I never spoilt him.Never bought him things even if he didn't ask.And he never ever asked even if he wanted something.I didn't make his birthdays memorable with all the party stuff.I couldn't even be with him a single whole day.Just nights when he is sleepy or already asleep.I couldn't do anything for my baby',Jaejoong said and the agony in his voice shook Yunho's heart.But he could only hold Jaejoong tigtly.

'I am such a bad parent.Such a bad mother.I couldn't even give him love that was due him.And he all bears it so quietly.He is hurting,I know.But I don't have time to even wipe his tears',Jaejoong said,body shaking with suppressed sobs.Yunho held him closer still,wanting very much to wipe Jaejoong's own tears.

'Changmin loves you,Jae.For him,he doesn't want all the materials you can give him.Just you being with him is enough for him',Yunho said, the raven hair.Jaejoong shook his head,face still buried in Yunho's chest.

'Still,I am his mother.I should be taking care of him.But I am always running around, working.So selfish of me',Jaejoong's muffled voice came.Yunho sighed as he cupped Jaejoong's face.He could see the despair and guilt on the pretty features.He placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

'Don't you ever blame yourself.You have to do it to support the two of you.And Changmin understands this too.He knows how busy his mother is everyday.Just for him.He knows and understands.Don't make yourself small.Changmin is very proud of you and loves you a lot',Yunho said softly as he patted the shaking back calmly.Jaejoong was looking at the sleeping figure of his son as he wiped his eyes.He pulled the blanket tighter around the little body and kissed the forehead,where the wound was.Changmin stirred a bit and turned towards Jaejoong,recognising the warmth even in his sleep.Jaejoong patted the small back,cooing him back to the dreamland.

'Thank you so much,Yunho.Thank you for being beside me',Jaejoong said as he straightened up and gave a soft kiss on Yunho's cheek.Yunho smiled,pulling the figure into his arms. Oh god,did it feel good.He knew that he was too deep into this.Too involved.Too much in love with the mother-son pair.So much so,he was ready to be Changmin's father.Ready to do all things that fathers do with their sons.Play sports,go for a trek,help with school work,compete in video games.Everything.They were his family now.An inseparable part of him.

'I am never going to go.I love you'.

'I love you more'.

'And I love you the most'.

                                                                                                -x-x-x-

..i just realised what emotional crap i have been writing..=.=