twenty

I Love You, Just Like This
Index:
(YJ) - Young Jae speaking
(DH) - Daehyun speaking
(S) - Sungyeol speaking
 
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The pair had made sure to change out of their school uniform first as the pair quickly left before Sungyeol could leave the bathroom. Daehyun smiled as he held Young Jae’s hand, waiting patiently for the elevator to bring them to the ground floor. “Young Jae, is there anywhere you want to go to today?” (DH)
 
Young Jae thought for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing as he began thinking. Where was a place that he wanted to? He knew that Daehyun usually thought of the places to go to during dates, so it was finally his turn, right? “Um.. let’s go to.. um.. I-I wanna go shopping.. I-If that’s alright.” (YJ)
 
“Sure! It’ll be great! You just have to help me walk around, deal?” (DH) Young Jae happily nodded as Daehyun wrapped an arm around Young Jae’s shoulders the second the elevator came to a stop and the bell rung. Using him as a human crutch, they seemed to be going a lot faster than before. “Where did you want to go shopping anyway?” (DH)
 
“Um.. I wanted to go to the street vendors.” (YJ) Daehyun thought for a moment. That really was a lot of walking, but he didn’t mind. Anything for his cute boyfriend, right? Even if he had to lose a leg.. though he preferred not to lose either of his legs.
 
“Sure, we can go there. You have to share food with me though because it’s romantic, right?” (DH) Young Jae smiled a bit before nodding. Once they were outside, they sat at the bus stop, waiting patiently for the bus to arrive. They lived in the suburbs of the city, so they had to take a bus to get to the urbanized area.
 
“Um.. Daehyun.. have you ever been to the street vendors before?” (YJ) Daehyun rubbed the back of his head, thinking for a moment. He wasn’t necessarily sure if he had, but at the same time.. he felt like he has.
 
“Not really sure. I think Jessica brought me there once when I was younger, but I can’t really remember. I mean, I’ve seen the street vendors before, but I was on the bus heading to the dance competition.” (DH)
 
“O-Ooh.. I see. I went there once with my parents and Sungyeol. It was really loud and full of people, but it was a nice place because the lights were really pretty and the people looked so happy.. It’s a really nice memory..” (YJ) Young Jae smiled as he found himself remembering the days when Sungyeol was a bit more.. normal.
 
“It must have been nice. I want to make nice memories with you too.” (DH) Young Jae smiled a bit as he turned and looked at Daehyun. Daehyun pulled him in close, using his hand to let Young Jae’s head rest on his shoulder.
 
“I want to make nice memories with you too..” (YJ) The two sat there in peace, waiting patiently before the bus finally came. Once the pair got onto the bus, they sat somewhere in the front before one last person finally got onto the bus as well. Young Jae could have sworn he had seen that person before, but he quickly dismissed the thought as he rested his head on Daehyun’s shoulder once more.
 
“How long do you think it’ll take for us to get there?” (YJ)
 
“Hm.. Maybe forty-five minutes?” (DH) Daehyun instantly flinched as he brought a hand up to his head. “O-Ow!” (DH) He rubbed his poor head as he turned and looked around, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary before he looked back forward. Young Jae looked at Daehyun with a slight pout, worry clear on his face.
 
“Are you alright Daehyun? What happened?” (YJ)
 
“I don’t really know. I thought I felt something hit my head, but.. I’m not sure. I know something hit me though..” (DH) Daehyun continued rubbing his head as Young Jae leaned in and kissed Daehyun’s cheek. Someone behind them let out some sort of groan, but when they both looked back, nothing was out of the ordinary once again. “That was weird..” (DH)
 
“I thought I recognized that sound of that voice though..” (YJ) Young Jae pouted before resting his head on Daehyun’s shoulder once more. Was he imagining things? No, he couldn’t be. There was no way that he was here.
 
Young Jae turned a slight shade of red as Daehyun held Young Jae’s hand and placed their hands on his lap. Young Jae smiled though as he closed his eyes, breathing gently as he waited for the time to pass.
 
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“Hey.. Young Jae. Wake up. We’re here now.” (DH) Young Jae stirred from his sleep as he slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He got to his feet as both him and Daehyun got off the bus and looked around a bit. Young Jae was still a bit sleepy, so Daehyun took a hold of his hand and pulled him along, though with a bit of difficulty. “Come on. Let’s get something to eat.” (DH)
 
“O-Okay..” (YJ) Young Jae began to yawn, bringing a single hand up to cover his mouth as he looked around. It obviously wasn’t going to be the exact same thing as he remembered when he was younger, but this was clearly the same street.
 
Looking here and there, the pair looked around happily. Finally though, something seemed to have caught Daehyun’s eyes as he tugged Young Jae towards a specific stall. “Tornado Potato! Let’s get it!” (DH)
 
“T-There’s so much...” (YJ) Young Jae’s eyes looked on hungrily, seeing the skewer holding such a large amount of slice potato’s on just one. Wasn’t this a little too much for just one person? Though, seeing the hunger in Daehyun’s eyes, he smiled a bit. “Okay. Let’s get it.. b-but we have to share one, okay?” (YJ)
 
Daehyun pouted, but he nodded happily as Young Jae quickly paid for one and the skewer was now placed in Daehyun’s free hand. Slowly, the pair took turns eating a piece as they walked around. “Ooh! L-Look! That stall over there! T-They’re selling really cute things..” (YJ)
 
“Do you like cute things?” (DH) Daehyun looked at the stall and chuckled a bit before looking at Young Jae, whom nodded his head slightly. “Alright. Then.. let’s go to the stall. Maybe you’ll find something that you really like.” (DH)
 
The pair made their way to the stall and as Young Jae looked through it happily, Daehyun quickly finished off the food and threw the skewer away. Once he wiped his hands on the napkin he had received, he made his way back over to Young Jae and looked at the cute things that Young Jae was looking at. “Do you see any that you like?” (DH)
 
“Mhm! This one looks like you.” (YJ) Young Jae picked up a chipmunk looking key chain as he he held it up for Daehyun to see. Daehyun grinned a bit before he looked around, his eyes soon lighting up as he spotted something too.
 
“If that looks like me, then this looks like you.” (DH) Daehyun picked up a blowfish looking key chain, causing Young Jae to puff up his cheeks. The two looked at each other before they both burst out laughing. “You wanna get them?” (DH)
 
“C-Can we?” (YJ)
 
“Sure! That way, if we’re apart, they’ll remind us of each other.” (DH) Daehyun gave a warm smile before he pulled his wallet out and quickly handed the money over to the vendor before Young Jae could do anything about it. Young Jae pouted as Daehyun placed his arm around Young Jae, the two turning and walking once more as they placed their keychains wherever they wanted.
 
“I could have paid for it..” (YJ)
 
“Think of it as a present from me, alright?” (DH) Young Jae nodded as he turned a bit red placing his chipmunk key chain on his cell phone. He stared lovingly at it before safely tucking his cell phone away into his pocket. “Where to next?” (DH)
 
“U-Um.. maybe over there?” (YJ) Young Jae pointed at yet another stall that seemed to have cute things in it. Daehyun chuckled as he ruffled Young Jae’s hair before the pair made their way over to it. Looking around, Young Jae quickly spotted a messenger bag and the second he picked it up, he could already see Daehyun pulling out his wallet. “D-Daehyun!” (YJ)
 
“What? I was going to buy you the bag.” (DH) Young Jae furrowed his eyebrows a bit as he frowned, looking at Daehyun before looking back down at the bag. He had picked it up just to look at it, but Daehyun already assumed that he wanted it.. which he did, but he wasn’t going to say anything just yet.
 
“I was just going to look at it..” (YJ)
 
“O-Oh.. I’m sorry. I’ll make sure to ask you next time, alright?” (DH) Young Jae’s expression softened as he nodded a bit. While Daehyun was looking at something else, Young Jae quickly paid for the bag before making his way to Daehyun. Daehyun smiled once he saw Young Jae, but a single brow rose once he saw the strap of the messenger bag slung across Young Jae’s chest. “So you DID buy the messenger bag!” (DH)
 
“I-I didn’t want you paying for it..” (YJ)
 
“Okay, okay. I guess.. I just wanted to get everything you want. I just want to spoil you.” (DH) Young Jae smiled a bit before he pressed his lips softly against Daehyun’s lips. Though, the kiss was ruined once more when Daehyun felt something slap the back of his head. He turned around, quite annoyed, but no one was there.
 
“What’s wrong?” (YJ) Young Jae peeked around Daehyun, but he didn’t see anything that was wrong. Daehyun sighed before turning to look at Young Jae again, whom was now looking at him.
 
“Ahh.. nothing. Something hit my head again.. but there’s no one there.” (DH) Young Jae found that a bit weird, but it’s not like they could figure it out without any evidence or anything like that. “Anyway, look at this.” (DH)
 
Daehyun picked up the small toy that was currently on the table, holding it up to his face as he smiled happily. Young Jae stared at the toy before looking at his boyfriend. “Isn’t it cute? I don’t know what it is, but I want to get it for you.” (DH)
 
“I-I know it’s cute b-but... I don’t need it.” (YJ) Daehyun frowned a bit as his hand slowly lowered. He could see that Young Jae wanted it, but he also knew that Young Jae was holding himself back for some reason.
 
“Why not?” (DH)
 
“I don’t have a use for it.” (YJ)
 
“You can play with it!” (DH)
 
“But I don’t play with toys..” (YJ)
 
“Please? It can keep you company if you’re all alone.” (DH) Young Jae bit his bottom lip. Yes, he really did actually want the toy. In fact, there were so many toys that he wanted, but.. his parents always told him to get whatever he needed, not what he wanted. He was at war with himself once again, but.. he soon caved in.
 
“O-Okay.. B-But only because you’re getting it for me..” (YJ) Young Jae looked down as his face turned slightly red. He felt a bit embarrassed getting a toy like this, but he was still happy. Daehyun grinned as he quickly paid for the toy before taking a hold of Young Jae’s hands and placed the toy gently into his palms.
 
“There. Isn’t it cute? It’s not as cute as you though.” (DH) Young Jae turned red once more as he smiled, looking down at the small, cube-like plushy. He opened his messenger bag and carefully placed the plushy into it before wrapping his arms around Daehyun’s neck and smiling.
 
“Thank you so much.. I-I really love it..” (YJ) Daehyun wrapped his arms around Young Jae’s waist, smiling also as Young Jae began softly kissing Daehyun’s lips. Daehyun slowly hobbled away from the vendor’s table, pulling Young Jae along as they continued kissing. The moved into the more secluded area, mostly because they wouldn’t be bothered back here.
 
Daehyun bit down lightly on Young Jae’s lip, lightly on it before releasing it. Their lips came into contact once more, but this time with Daehyun’s tongue entering Young Jae’s own mouth and dancing with Young Jae’s tongue once more. Young Jae was panting, trying once again to keep up with Daehyun. He still felt like he had so much to learn and yet at the same time, he was sure that Daehyun had never been with anyone else besides him either.
 
Daehyun’s hand slowly lowered, giving a light squeeze to the left side of Young’s bottom before he rose his hand and slapped his palm against Young Jae’s bottom. Young Jae’s head moved away from Daehyun’s as he let out a loud moan, lowering his head a bit as he closed his eyes. Daehyun then squeezed the left side of Young Jae’s bottom a bit more tighter than before, causing Young Jae to grip onto Daehyun’s shirt and let out yet another muffled moan. Though, moments like these must come to an end. Daehyun instantly let go of Young Jae the second a person fell to the floor out of nowhere, clutching at their chest and gasping for air.
 
“A-Are you alright?” (DH) Daehyun had started to hop towards the male, but Young Jae had already bent down to the male. The male turned and grabbed at Young Jae’s shirt, pulling him in, but Young Jae didn’t seem as phased as Daehyun would have thought.
 
“H-Hyung..” (YJ)
 
“YOUNG JAE, WHY?! YOU’RE BEING TAINTED!! WHY DO YOU ALLOW SUCH THINGS TO HAPPEN?!” (S) Sungyeol was practically on the verge of tears as he stared into his younger brother’s eyes. How could his younger brother let out such sounds?! It was unheard of! It was something that an innocent person should not be making! And such treatment on his poor little brother should not be something that his innocent brother should be enjoying!
 
“H-Hyung... Why are you here?” (YJ) Sungyeol got to his feet, glaring at Daehyun before looking at his younger brother, whom now stood on his own feet as well. Though, Sungyeol’s eyes quickly widened as he turned away.
 
“I-I don’t know who you are. Gotta go, bye!” (S) Sungyeol quickly ran off, almost blending in a little too well with the crowd. Daehyun sighed before he pulled Young Jae in by his waist, causing the male to turn a bit red as he looked at Daehyun.
 
“It’s alright. Let’s just keep shopping. Wouldn’t want to have our first time in public, right?” (DH) Young Jae instantly became flustered, especially after Daehyun looked to Young Jae and grinned. “Come on. There’s still a lot of stalls that we could go to.” (DH)
 
With a nod, the pair began their trek once more down the street to look through the various vendor’s stalls.
 
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The pair sat in a booth right next to the window. They had a few bags here and there that had all kinds of goodies. Though, because Daehyun wouldn’t show the things that he bought, Young Jae ended up doing the same thing. Either way, they were now taking a nice moment to relax and have something to eat before they would head home.
 
“You think Sungyeol is still roaming around here?” (DH)
 
“Y-Yes.. I-I do.. He might be standing out there, staring at us. I.. I don’t want him to get sick.” (YJ) Even though his brother was like this, Young Jae still worried about his brother’s well being. After all, they grew up together and he knew that Sungyeol was just trying to do what’s best for him.
 
“He should be fine. Even if he gets sick, he’s too strong to not get healthy again right away.” (DH) Young Jae slowly nodded before he turned to the food that sat in front of him. Picking up his chopsticks, he began eating before he looked up at Daehyun, whom happened to be looking at him while he was eating.
 
“W-What is it..?” (YJ)
 
“Nothing. I just love watching you.” (DH) Young Jae turned red as he looked back down at his food, trying to focus on it rather than Daehyun. He couldn’t help but think about him though. Christmas was going to be coming up soon, or rather.. it was still at least a month away, but he had gotten the perfect present for Daehyun. He really couldn’t wait to see Daehyun’s face once he saw it.
 
“Daehyun..?” (YJ)
 
“Hm?” (DH)
 
“Where did you get that puppet?” (YJ)
 
“What puppet?” (DH)
 
“The hand puppet from yesterday.” (YJ) Young Jae looked up from his food, noticing almost immediately that Daehyun had been a little too engrossed in his food to have known what puppet was being talked about. It took Daehyun a moment, but it finally seemed to have come to him.
 
“Ooh! You mean Mister Fluffums! Hm.. I got him from Noona when I was nine.” (DH)
 
“Omo.. you kept him all this time?” (YJ)
 
“Yea! He’s my most greatest friend! Plus, he makes me happy whenever I’m sad or confused about something.” (DH) Young Jae thought for a moment. Daehyun wasn’t sad yesterday, was he? He looked the same as usual, but.. why did Daehyun bring the puppet out if he wasn’t sad yesterday? Was it because he was bored and wanted something to do or.. had he actually been sad about something? Though.. he did also say that he brought it out whenever he was confused too.
 
“Um.. were you.. sad or confused... about something yesterday..?” (YJ) Daehyun looked at Young Jae, thinking for a moment. How should he answer that? He smiled a bit before simply shaking his head.
 
“No, why?” (DH)
 
“O-Oh.. I was just wondering.. s-since you said that Mister Fluffums makes you happy when you’re sad.. or when you’re confused, he’ll help you..” (YJ)
 
“Oh! Don’t worry, I wasn’t sad or confused, really!” (DH) The pair smiled to each other before they once again turned their attention to their food. Though, what Young Jae didn’t notice was that Daehyun has paused, staring at his food blankly before life returned back to him and he started eating once more.
 
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The pair were on the bus once more, now heading back home. They weren’t necessarily sure when the last bus was, so they made sure not to miss it. Plus, it was already dark out. Young Jae had noted that he didn’t want to be out too late, or else the other team might try something again.
 
Young Jae rested his head on Daehyun’s shoulder as Daehyun leaned against the wall. Looking out the window, he remained quiet as Young Jae slept quietly. He felt bad for lying to Young Jae, but.. he didn’t want Young Jae to worry about him.
 
Daehyun sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. Should he tell him though? Just thinking of this was eating away at him, but it was just.. it was a silly thing to get sad about. No. He doesn’t want to make Young Jae worry over nothing.
 
Though.. all relationships had trust built into it, right? Turning his head, he smiled a bit as he rested his head on top of Young Jae’s, taking a hold of Young Jae’s hand and intertwining his fingers into Young Jae’s. Maybe he should wait until they get back before he told him.
 
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“Young Jae.. we’re home.” (DH) Young Jae stirred once more, finding himself having to be awoken by Daehyun once more. Young Jae rubbed his eyes of sleep as the pair made their way off of the bus and slowly began making their way back into the apartment complex.
 
Once back into the apartment, they shed their coats off and Young Jae took all the coats and bags with him and placed them into Daehyun’s room. Daehyun sat on the couch and turned the television on, changing it to a nice movie before sighing.
 
Young Jae made his way over to Daehyun and smiled a bit as he sat next to Daehyun and cuddled up next to him. What he noticed almost instantly was that Daehyun had Mister Fluffums out once more and this time, in his left hand since Young Jae was cuddling up on the right side. “Why do you have Mister Fluffums out again?” (YJ)
 
“He’s.. helping me gather my courage.” (DH)
 
“Courage? For what?” (YJ) Young Jae slightly pulled away from Daehyun, his eyebrows furrowing as he pouted a bit. Something was clearly wrong and whatever Daehyun was gathering his courage for, he hoped it was a good thing.
 
“I.. I lied to you when you asked me earlier about Mister Fluffums. I.. was actually.. feeling sad about two things.” (DH) Young Jae nodded, listening attentively. Daehyun took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “The first reason.. was because of my leg. I.. I just feel really sad that I can’t.. dance in the competition, but.. thanks to you, I can at least watch our team perform. And the second reason.. I.. I’m actually sad about Sungyeol.. I wish that.. he would accept me.” (DH)
 
Young Jae’s face showed his saddened look as he placed a hand on Daehyun’s arm. “Daehyun.. I-I’m sorry.. Your leg.. I wish that nothing bad had happened.. I really do.. a-and Sungyeol.. he.. he’ll turn around! I-I know he will! Y-You’re a really good person Daehyun. I know that he’ll like you sooner or later..” (YJ)
 
Although it helped him feel only a little bit better, Daehyun still smiled and pulled Young Jae in for a tight hug. “Thank you Young Jae. You’re always.. trying so hard to help me.. I really love you so much.” (DH)
 
“I-I.. I love you too, Daehyun.” (YJ) Young Jae closed his eyes and smiled as he held Daehyun like this. He loved whenever Daehyun hugged him and he definitely loved it whenever Daehyun said that he loved him. He just wanted this to last forever.
 
After half a minute had passed, the pair finally pulled away from each other before settling themselves in the couch to watch television. They had only been in this position for a few more seconds before the front door finally opened. Daehyun looked over and chuckled a bit as he saw a shivering Sungyeol entering through the door.
 
Sungyeol glared over at the back of Daehyun’s head, closing and locking the door behind him before making his way over to the pair. He slapped the back of Daehyun’s head before making his way around and pulling Young Jae onto his feet. “H-Hyung!” (YJ)
 
“He’s only corrupting you! Look at you! Your innocence is dwindling and it’s saddening!” (S) Young Jae pouted as he pulled his arm from Sungyeol’s grip. This was one of the reasons that Daehyun was sad and remembering that, Young Jae nearly started tearing up. Still, he had to do something about it. Pulling Sungyeol off to the side, he spoke in a quiet voice so that Daehyun couldn’t hear what was being said.
 
“Hyung... h-how come you can’t just accept that I’m dating Daehyun..?” (YJ) Sungyeol’s eyebrows furrowed, if it hadn’t already, ashe thought for a moment. Was it not yet obvious he did not want Young Jae to be dating that rapscallion?
 
“Because, he is not good for you. He is a badman and he is trying to corrupt you! All he wants is the naughty naughty!” (S) Young Jae sighed a bit. He felt like he had explained himself to Sungyeol before but.. it just seemed like Sungyeol wouldn’t listen.
 
“Hyung.. I-I already told you.. Daehyun is a good person. He.. He even said that he would wait until I’m ready..” (YJ) Sungyeols’ eyes widened. He didn’t even WANT to know what Young Jae meant by being ready! Sungyeol crossed his arms as he pouted and turned away. Why was Young Jae so persistent to defend that man?
 
“Fine... I’ll let you date him for now. But if he does anything to you, I’m still going to punish him..” (S) Young Jae wrapped his arms around Sungyeol happily, catching the male off guard. “W-Woah! Don’t suddenly jump at me like that!” (S)
 
“Thank you H-Hyung!” (YJ) Sungyeol smiled a bit, wrapping an arm around Young Jae. Moments like these reminded him of just how innocent his baby brother can still be from time to time.
 
“You’re welcome.. but I’m still going to be staying here for a few more days. You got that?” (S) Young Jae pulled away and nodded. Sungyeol smiled a bit before ruffling his brother’s hair before making his way to Daehyun’s bedroom to change. Once the door closed, Young Jae excitedly made his way over to the couch and nearly jumped on top of Daehyun with his excitement.
 
“Y-Yah! Why are you so full of energy all of a sudden?” (DH)
 
“I spoke to Sungyeol and he said that it’s okay if I’m dating you!” (YJ) Young Jae’s smile just seemed to beam, causing Daehyun to chuckle and reach up to Daehyun’s face. He slowly caressed Young Jae’s jawline before letting his hand drop and taking a hold of Young Jae’s hand.
 
“Of course it’s okay! You and I are just meant to be.” (DH) Young Jae got onto his knees, one knee on either side of Daehyun’s thighs as he leaned down and gave a soft kiss to Daehyun’s lips. It didn’t necessarily stop with just one kiss though. As the second ticked by, the kisses continued, deepening little by little. Daehyun had just placed his hand on Young Jae’s bottom when Sungyeol just happened to step out of Daehyun’s bedroom.
 
“YAH! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!” (S) Young Jae instantly pulled away from Daehyun, getting to his feet as he wiped his mouth and looked at a clearly angry Sungyeol. Sungyeol made his way over to the pair, this time glaring at Young Jae. “YAH! I JUST said that it was alright to date him, and that’s the first thing you do?! I’m starting to question you instead of him now!” (S)
 
Young Jae looked down at the ground, fiddling with his fingers as he bit his bottom lip. He felt a bit bad for doing what he had just done, but Daehyun had gotten to his feet and wrapped an arm around Young Jae’s shoulders. “Sorry. We won’t do it again. Is it alright if we go to sleep now? It’s getting late.” (DH)
 
Sungyeol glared at Daehyun, but he sighed and nodded before walking around and sitting himself on the couch. With a grin, Daehyun kept his arm around Young Jae as they both began making their way towards Daehyun’s bedroom.
 
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[[ My Own Thoughts:
 
Hm.. I feel as if I could have done better witht he ending buut...
I just ended up leaving it at that.
Hopefully it's alright..
I've been coming up with not that great chapters lately >.<..
But yaay >3<..
At least Sungyeol is slowly..
SLOWLY starting to accept that they're dating. xD ]]
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
GoCloud
My computer died ;;... Updates are going to be slower now >.

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Exodus_99
#1
Chapter 66: Awwe! ITS OVER?! I cant believe it! At first i thought that 66 chapters is so long but now i want more! This is an amazing story!! Im crying.. anyway i cant believe its done! Thank you for writing this authornim! <3
Exodus_99
#2
Chapter 47: Jongup is so innocent... poor child bless your poor soul
Exodus_99
#3
Chapter 43: Why is Jongup like this? 'Pika-pi.' Really? My heart hurts. I can imagine him saying it in a cute voice.. TT
He's so adorable.
Exodus_99
#4
Chapter 27: WHAT THE HELL?! NOOOOOOOO!!! TT
Thanks a lot Woohyun. :/
Exodus_99
#5
Chapter 24: Daehyun is me. Me is Daehyun.
Never turn down free food.
Exodus_99
#6
Chapter 23: Ahhh! I hope their plans wont succeed
Exodus_99
#7
Chapter 22: How dare you violate Youngjae, Woohyun?! Im shook
Exodus_99
#8
Chapter 13: I love Sungyeol XD he's so adorable
MrFelopoh
#9
Chapter 27: I'm pretty sure I saw this comming...I just cant handdle, my tears are rolling over and I'm really sad for everything!! :(
MrFelopoh
#10
Chapter 24: I still don't want to be happy because if I do, when the really bad things happens I'm going to be crying all along the entire chapters ahead :(