CHAPTER FIFTEEN – The Final Choice

(Jieun’s POV)

“I want to go to my room first.” I excused myself as walked to my room. The feeling in my heart mixed and I couldn’t control it. Taeyang-oppa, why do you come back in the unright time? Tomorrow, I’ll marry with another guy. And the worst part is, you’re that guy’s childhood bestfriend! What can I do?! The half of my heart is with Wooyoung, but the other half is still with you. How am I suppose to let you go?

I wore a head-set and tried to close my eyes, forgot everything. But the music from my head-set changed everything again. It’s 2AM’s Even If I die, I Can’t Let You Go, and listened to that song made me couldn’t help but crying again. The lyrics presented the exact feeling of mine.

Can't let you go, even if I die
How am I suppose to let you go?
Whether you go or leave, fix my heart
If you can’t fix it so that I won't be in pain
So that I can at least live
I wouldn't be able to live anyway
I can't let you go, even if I die

That song heaved softly, as the tears started to fall again. Taeyang-oppa, ottokhajwo?

(Wooyoung’s POV)

“Hyung, so you know Jieun?” I asked, and he nodded. “Of course! I’m Jiyoung’s bestfriend, so I often met her a few years ago.” He answered, made me frowned. “A few years ago?”

He nodded again, looked at the window. “Yes. Five years ago, I went to New Zealand to continued my study in there, so we never meet again until now.” He explained, as the random memory appeared in my brain. If I’m not wrong, Jieun also went to the France five years ago, right? And a few nights ago, when I woke her up, I could see a boy’s wallpaper and wait! Is that boy, Youngbae-hyung? And I knew that Jieun cried at that time, judging that her eyes was swollen, so what happened between them?

“Wooyoung-ah, do you still here?” He raised his eyebrows as I came back to the reality. “Y-yes, hyung. Do you want to live in Korea?”

He smiled and nodded. “Of course! Eventhough New Zealand is a very beautiful country, I still can’t forget South Korea. And you know, you’re not the only one that will marry!” Youngbae-hyung uttered, made me widened my eyes. “W-what do you mean?” I asked, as he smiled once again. “I’ll meet a South Korean person in New Zealand, and I can’t help but loving her! She followed me to South Korea, and we will live here together and marry as soon as possible, eventhough we still want to enjoying this beautiful moment as a couple.”

I widened my eyes again. “Really?! Who is her? Does Jieun know about this?”

“I will introduce her to you soon. And about Jieun,” Youngbae-hyung sighed, “Please don’t tell her about this. She will know, but not now. Maybe you don’t know this yet, but she—”

“I know.” I interrupted him, didn’t want him to reply it anymore. He stared at me, a little shocked. “So, you know? But how? Don’t you mad at me, then?” He asked, as I tried to smile. “Of course I know. And don’t need to worry, eventhough we want to marry, but our married is arranged, so we don’t have any feeling toward each other.” I explained, but somehow it made me hurt to said it from myself.

He smiled and patted my shoulder. “I know it. But, it seems that you both do have a feeling toward each other,” Youngbae-hyung said, made me frowned. But before I could reply anything, the door was opened, made we both turned to see who it is.

“Taeyang-oppa!” I could see Jieun run off to Youngbae-hyung’s left side, as I’m in his right side. “Taeyang? How come you have two names, hyung?” I asked, raised my eyebrows. He laughed. “You know, Youngbae is my real name; but after my parents got divorce, I’d changed my name to ‘Taeyang’.” He explained, as I nodded.

“Oppa, do you remember the rose we’d planted five years ago? Now the roses are growing well in my house. They’re so beautiful, you know.” She spoke, stared at Youngbae-hyung as if he’s the only one there. And it made me hurted with no reason. Her stare. Her smile. Her affection. I’d never seen it from her before. And it’s not for me. It’s for Youngbae-hyung, the bestfriend I used to have.

They started many conversation, made me realized how closed they were and are. They laughed together, smiled together, giggled together. Maybe, I couldn’t take this anymore. The pain made me suffered. “I want to go to the toilet first.” I said, but nobody heard my words. I sighed, then moved to the toilet. I saw the reflection on the mirror.

“Lee Jieun, I hate you! You’re the reason of me being happy with no reason, and now, you’re also the reason of me for being hurt.” I whispered, spoke to the reflection of mine.

(Jieun’s POV)

I kept talking and chatting to Taeyang-oppa. We laughed together, smiled together, giggled together, and remembered the beautiful past when there were only us. The half of my heart felt so happy that at last we could be together again, but the half of it kept rebelling for not ignoring Wooyoung—the owner of the other part of my heart.

The feeling mixed once again, as I couldn’t help but held it as hard as I could. I confused. Still so confused. I knew well that I can’t be a girl that loves two people in the same time. I knew well that I have to choose one of them. But it’s making me more confused. Which one I have to choose? Losing one of them didn’t make me any better.

“I have to go to the toilet first.”

Wooyoung sighed and went to the toilet, as I felt more burden. But, the words entered my mind with a sudden. That memory slowly but surely appeared in my mind.

“The choice will always be 50:50. If one of them less than 50, then it’s not a choice. You have to choose one of them no matter what. After you chose it, you have to keep your choice and don’t ever feel sorry to the final choice you take.” (I took it from Dream High, Jinguk’s words to Hyemi ^^)

I still remembered clearly that wonderful words from one of my friend. And it somehow made me stronger than what I used to be. Yes, you have to choose no matter what, Lee Jieun! I slowly took a deep breath, as Taeyang-oppa frowned. “Are you okay, Jieunnie?” His deep stare made me feel messy once again. No, I can’t lose him! But… but I can’t lose Wooyoung too!

“Oppa. .  .” I called him, as he sighed and stared the floor. “Jieun-ah, I want to talk about something to you.” He spoke, before I could said mine, made me raised an eyebrows. “What is it, oppa?” His gaze now fixed on me. “I’m sorry, but I have someone in my heart, and it’s not you, Jieun. I hope you understand.” He explained, as I widened my eyes. My brain could understand it clearly, but my heart couldn’t do it.

“First, I don’t have any braveness to tell it to you, but then I realize, I can’t hide it forever from you. You have to know.” He continued. Slowly the tears started to fall down to my cheeks. But, my heart felt relieved too. I didn’t have to choose, instead he’s the one who didn’t choose me.

“Okay, oppa. It’s maybe hard for me, but thanks for not hiding it from me anymore.” I answered, as he smiled and ruffled my hair. “You’ve changed, Jieun! You’re not a kid anymore. And I like it. Thanks to be a mature Jieun,” He spoke. We hugged for a while, then he stood up. “I’ll go home first. But I will come to your wedding tomorrow. And I’ll take my girlfriend. You have to judge her, okay?” We laughed, and then he waved and went from the villa.

After he went, I kneeled down and cried as hard as I could. My heart still aching hard, but I have to be strong in front of him. “Jieun, are you okay?! What happen?!” I could hear Wooyoung’s voice approached me. I’m still crying hard as he kneeled down and hugged me tightly. 

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*Tomorrow will be the wedding! Anticipate it~~~ :D