Changjo was on his bed with his swollen eyes, unable to sleep since last night. He can’t take it off in his head. He wants to believe that it was just a dream. He has been staring at the ceiling for some hours. He can’t move freely, his heart is hurting. All he wanted was to be with Niel, He wanted to be Niels’ special someone. He sighed heavily at the thought and got up. He came across with a full body mirror. He stared at himself, identifying what’s wrong with him. He came closer and saw that his eyes are swollen and red from crying. He touched his face, his body and his hair. He can’t identify what’s wrong with him. He wanted to punch himself for being imperfect. His eyes started get watery again. He slowly breathed in and out to control his emotions. He hurriedly went down to get some ice for his eyes. He can’t let Niel see him like this when suddenly it hit him. ‘Will Niel come here for me?’ Changjo thought. He grabbed the ice from the freezer and stood there in front the refrigerator thinking for an answer for his question. He slowly closed the refrigerator and laid his back on it. He slowly sled himself on the ground. His emotions swelling up from his heart, he feels suffocated inside and can’t breathe normally. He was thinking that his heart might burst from these tons of emotions he’s feeling. He placed his hands on his face, feeling his tears that he didn’t know he had on his face. He wasted his morning crying, sobbing and coughing.

Changjo went outside to clear his mind a little. His eyes got worse for crying a while ago. He was on the way to the beach near his house. He was just walking because he had left his car in the Ahn’s Company building just to chase Niel and now this. Changjo started to run to forget about everything.

He reached his destination; a smile crept up from his face seeing the sun glaring at him, the wind blowing his clothes.  Changjo got closer as he got closer his feet meet the ocean water. He was starting to feel a little better seeing this. He walked slowly seeing the crystal clear water. As he walks through the shore, he remembered the first time Niel and him went here. He still remembers Niels’ smiling face as Niels’ feet got in contact with the water. Niel was playing with the water, gathering shells and some rocks, running happily with Changjo chasing him, Building a sand castle that was destroyed by Changjo, writing their names on the sand. All of these memories are corrupting Changjo’s mind, making him chocked out. He thought that Niel have started to feel something for him but No Niel didn’t have and he’ll never will.

Changjo sat on the sand, throwing rocks in to the sea. Changjo slowly got up. Seeing the rocks disappear within the ocean.  He stood up and smiled. He slowly turned around and walked off back to his house. No matter what he does he can still remember everything. It felt like he was being punished harshly.~ He stared at the sky his tears began coming out again. 'Is this my punishment? My punishment for wanting more and for being selfish? If it is please just kill me. Just let me die. I can't anymore. Why do i have to love him so much! That it's killing me! Are you even listening to my pleads!? I want him. I like him. I love him. I Need him. please, Listen to me. I NEED HIM. Why do you have to set him back to him. You made him hurt Niel. Do you want to kill Niel's heart again? If you want to then i'll stop you even if i have to battle with  the Gods!" Changjo shouted, Kneeling while crying hard so hard that he can't even think straight anymore.

I really feel guilty for making Changjo cry a lot this previous chapters. I'm really  sorry :) HAHAHA. Well i hope you've enjoyed reading this. Don't forget to leave some comments okay?? Love you guys. :))))) <3