I ran out and get into the bus to get the nearest subway station with my earphone as I kept calling Minho but it cant get through. “Tsk.” I’ve talking to Kibum and I heard Taemin literally whining about Minho’s reckless reaction which is totally wasn’t his expectation.

Well if you asked me, Im also didn’t expect that Minho would go to Lee Oppa to yell at him at any reason, not even because of something like this, but it could happen. That’s why I get into the other line train to change my destination. I looked at my watch, now it’s almost a half an hour since I couldn’t reach Minho by phone, that’s I why I predicted if he really went to Oppa’s place, he might already there by now.

And what’s more nerve-wrecking is that I cant also call Oppa’s phone. He doesn’t answer my call!

I stepped out from the train, and my cellphone vibrated.

“Noonawhereareyou???ImwithDinoHyungandhe’sdrivingbecauseItoldhimtoIt’sjust-“

“Ssshh Taem!” I heard Jjong’s voice.

“Im at.. wait, where am I?” I took the wrong station as I read the name, but as I told Baby where I am, he shouted at the phone again, “I knew that place! Near Auntie’s house!! Hyung, umm.. ummmm go left!!”

“Stop ordering me around, just tell me the name of that place!” Jjong protested but im sure he followed what he was told.

“Auntie who?” now I heard Onew’s voice.

“Ya ya yaa! All of you! Who’s car you drive and why everyone’s in there?” I stopped my feet.

“Kibum Hyung’s not here. We left him in the apartment with his grumpy self and just let him cook something to ease his mind, besides we also don’t want to hear his grumble and mumble.” Taeminnie talks the way he babytalks. I sighed to realize that he might have gone back to his usual self, but I feel unease to know that he might get into trouble again.

“We plan to catch Minho Hyung before it’s too late!” He shouted again and somehow I imagined what and how this trio would do according to the so-called plan Taemin just told me.

“W-wait!” I exclaimed.

“Yes, soon as we pick you up, we find Hyung together, Noona-ah.” Baby explained it to me.

“No!” I stopped him, “Listen to me. Go back to your dorm-“

“But-“

“Let me talk to Onew.” I used my last attempt.

“Fine..” Taemin obediently gives the phone to his respectful Leader.

“Noona~” Onew greeted me as soon as he gets, but then his tone change like everytime he’s being serious, “Im here just to make sure Taemin wont make any trouble, don’t worry.”

“Hyunggg~~~” Taemin is in the background.

“.. Because we’re kind of worried Minho would.” Onew finally speaks up his mind, which I already expected it, as he’s the leader.

“I know your concern, don’t worry Onew-ah, it’s Minho, we know that he’s not the kind of type.” But even Im sure that Onew can feel my insecurity too as I added, “I wont let him.”

“Okay, Noona.. We will go back- ah, no, wait, Taemin-ah, didn’t you tell me you want to find something yesterday?” Onew sets the call into speaker and somehow acted like an older brother to the Baby, because of course, Taemin wouldn’t want to go back and still want to try to find me.

“Im hungry.” Jjong joined the force, “Ya, it’s unusual that you’re not.” He seemed talking to Taemin.

“Well.. I am.” Baby’s weak voice was heard and it makes me smile lovingly just to imagine his face.

“Okay, go eat then!” I laughed, “I promise you, TaeBaby, I would call you after I succeed in strangling your handsome Minho Hyung.”

“Oh he deserved it, especially after-“ Taemin might wanted to talk about Yuri, so then I just said, “Ah, my train is coming! I’ve to go, wish me luck!!”

And all I ended up is in their agency’s practice building. Of course, he’s not here. But I don’t know why, I went here. I walked to the practice room.

Maybe.. just maybe, this room is where everything started. When I decided to accept Minho’s feeling whatsoever, along with the boys ‘accidentally’ eavesdropping.

I smiled to the memory that not so long ago, yet it feels like forever since I was drowning in the feeling of comfort that it gives. Suddenly all of the tiny bits memories came into me and I feel.. my lids are heavy. I know im happy with my life, but I cant deny that I felt so tired too. A part of me wanted to stay, but there’s some part that wants to push myself out of it.

Out from the comfort zone before it makes me wanting for more. It already did. Minho already did make me feel difficult to stay away. But somehow, there’s still a couple unsettled things between us. Even if it’s only because a small thing, we’re currently in a state where we’re not talking to each other, remember?

Me and my awkward self doesn’t know what to do if I finally found him.

Would I be angry first because of his reckless act? Or would I try to calm him down as if we’re not in a quarrel before?

My hand reached out for my phone and tries to call Minho once again. Still no answer. I try again-

“Yeoboseyo?” It get through!

“Yah! Where the hell are you-“ but my yell was cut.

“Um.. This is Shim Changmin, im sorry I stole Minho’s phone from him.”

“Eh?..  Ah, Changmin-sshi?”

“Yes.. Don’t worry, Minho is here, at my apartment. Can you come over? He’s fine, only he doesn’t know that im talking to you right now.”

“Okay.” I don’t think anymore, I just asked where his apartment and the rest can wait.

When I got there, I just chuckled to the view of some DBSK’s fans that waiting outside their building. Well, I can say that I know my boys also have some of their fans waiting like that too outside their dorm, but I don’t know, as long as they didn’t do any harm to anyone, or to themselves, I just didn’t really think about it.

I went inside the building and goes up to the unit Changmin told me, and he opens the door.

“Annyeong hasseyo.” We bowed to each other.

“Come in.” He said, as then he tilted his head back to shout, “Minho-ah~”

I frowned because somehow I already knew what this guy is doing, “Um.. did he tell you something?”

This tall guy in front of me laughs a little, “Something? Girl, that kid tells me everything, remember?”

Shoot. I forgot that this is Minho’s Hyung.

“But of course, he doesn’t know you're here, so he might strangle me after this. But that, only if he dares to do it.” His smirk is something I find familiar, well, DBSK used to be the group that my college seniors loves too much, anyway.

As I followed him to the living room,… wow, so this is where Yunho-sshi and Changmin-sshi lives? I heard that DBSK doesn’t live in a dorm like their juniors, but in this kind of luxurious one. Although yeah, I can understand why their boss gives them exclusivity.

And there I saw Minho, who stood up immediately, “Noona? Hyung, why did you-ah, really! You call her?? My phone-” It seems that now he realized his phone is missing because he looked around his pocket and stuff.

“What?” Changmin acts innocent as I spoke with a cold voice to Minho almost in the same time as him, “I thanked Changmin-sshi to finally answer my call and tell me where you are. You know, you usually didn’t make people worry, Choi Minho.”

Changmin turned his head to me, maybe because he thought I'm not going to set my tone high to Minho like that, even if I'm older, so I stopped talking to Minho, and then the former continued as he spoke to Minho, “You used to tell me everything like a noisy little brother, but suddenly you hide this girl from me. Okay, so when I found out, I thought ‘ah, Minho-goon is a grown up kid already?’, turns out when you got a trouble, you still went to find me instead of solving this by yourself?”

I know that Minho respected this guy like his own brother, and I also acknowledge about how Minho calls him so often, but I never seen with my own eyes that the two are really this close. Also maybe because Max used to not be around before, I guess.

“Hyung, I told you I need some time alone.” Minho’s tone have a little bit of warn in it.

Changmin scoffed at him, “You said you need time alone then why you came here? What a kid.”

I’m just staring at both of them while Changmin turned his head to me, “Look, I might be responsible, as Im the one who taught him about anything related to girls –or women, and everything goes with it, so I do apologize if he treats you wrong-“

“Changmin Hyung!” Minho roared again as I glared at him. Yes, Im mad in case you didn’t know, Minho, for making me worry.. and to have doubt whether this could continue.

I shook my head but I reply, "I'm sorry that we have to know each other in this kind of circumstances, I know how Minho admires you as a brother, that's why we shouldn't hide it from you. But I believe you're also understands perfectly why he did that." Well, he's an idol too, right? Not to mention, a senior.
 
Nodding, he says,“I will let you two talk.” Changmin just talked to me, but when he passed Minho, he pats his shoulder maybe to calm the younger one.

Minho sighed as he sits again on the couch. I looked at him, somehow I never seen him this.. frustrated as now he held his head.

“Where were you? I’ve been trying to find you, even the members did too.” I tried to control my tone.

And to my surprise, he doesn’t want to look at me.

“Yah.” I called him as I folded my hands, standing there in front of him. He lifted his head a bit, and finally took a glance at me with the corner of his eyes.

“So now you’re not talking to me? It’s me, you know, who supposed to be angry. You really have the guts to keep everything from me –whatever that is,” My cynical tone has come, ”And also to make me worried as hell after I heard that you stormed out from the dorm hours ago.”

And also some part of me still kind of upset. It’s not because of the secret itself, but more because he has the heart to kept them from me while he’s being so demanding at me being honest at him. Although now I should put that issue aside first.

“I said im sorry about Yuri Noona.” He responded with a small voice, but I can feel there’s a tint of anger in it.

“I know.” I replied him with an easy manner, as if he told me nothing important, “But that doesn’t mean that I cannot be upset.”

“And I should tell you about that as we begin the relationship, or maybe before that, I swear if I can go back to those days I will tell you-“ He almost lose it so then I just cut his words.

“I know, Minho. And I understand. At least you have given me some time to try to understand. But now it’s not only about that. Right now what I need to know from you is where you were earlier, did you go to see Lee Oppa?” I try to make him speak once again.

He doesn’t, but he did shake his head to give me the answer of my question. And at the very least, I feel so relieved.

When Im on my way to find here earlier, I was thinking that maybe it’s easier just to give up. But as I look at him right now, I don’t know anymore. I just sighed.

Should now I be the one who try to understand him, since he always try to do the same thing for me?

"Okay, now I'm just going to wait for you to talk." I sit down and I leaned my back to the sofa as I heard him saying in his deep voice, “I.. Turns out that there’s a lot of things that I don’t know, isn’t it?”

“What things?”

“Things that is predictable, like how idols live in such a luxury, but unfortunately they have to spend it all alone,” He suppressed the last word, “but there’s also the unpredictable one, like.. how I couldn’t control my emotion as good I thought I could.”

I turned my head to see him in the eyes and I can see that those beautiful orbs are wavering.

“Like Changmin Hyungie said earlier, Im just a kid,” He sighed, “That is trying to be bigger than I could be.”

I blinked for a couple of times, did he just realize about him being like that? So then, “HAHAHAHAAA..” Yes, Im cynically laughing to his statement.

Minho looked at me, and he does look scandalized. Like, how dare you, Noona, to laugh at me in a situation like this?

I clear my throat to stop my laughter, and then I looked at him, “But isn’t it so you? The recently turned to be 20 who’s act older than your age really are? Isnt it the Choi Minho I know? But to know that you never realized that before it’s just hilarious- ok, I’ll stop.” Because now he shot me with his killing stare.

“Look,” I raise both of my hand to make amend, “You almost sending me to heart attack –and also the rest of the member, when suddenly you flew with anger to find Lee Oppa, but at least you didn’t go to Lee Oppa and yelling at him.”

He didn’t answer at first, he just took my arm and leaned his forehead to my shoulder. I didn’t move nor say anything, but I can easily sense that he still feels so tensed. There’s a pause again. Silent has covered my ears.

Then I heard him sighing.

“I.. I was on my way to find Lee Hyung after I heard everything from Taemin, I was so mad at Hyung as I feel like I almost went crazy-“

“Baby told you?” I cut his word.

“I overheard his conversation with Kibum, so I told him to explain everything.” From the way he does it, he’s holding his anger, because now his grip on my hand is tighten.

I slapped my forehead slowly as I heard him, “And then..?”

Still leaning to my shoulder, he shook his head, “It’s just a blessing in disguise that Changmin Hyung called me on my way go to find Lee Hyung. If he doesn’t do that, I might not be here and I might already pick a fight with my own manager that I respect.”

Minho turned his head at me, “If he didn’t call and saying that I could ruin you by put all my anger to Lee Hyung, I might already- I don’t know, maybe this is just the result after everything I’ve tried to suppress.” He moved away from me, and now hung his head down as it’s supported by both of his hand.

I frowned, somehow I feel like I want to cry. I have to admit, he does look scary if he’s mad. But this is not only about him becomes angry. This is also the time when he couldn’t do anything just to make everything right. And that’s what he hates the most. I know that perfectly.

It hurts me more to see him tortured because of his own thought like this.

“You don’t have to say anything to Lee Oppa. He didn’t do anything wrong.” Without thinking too much, I said those words. Just to make everything go away, as if nothing happens. I don’t know, maybe I feel tired too so those words came out from my mouth so easily.

But turns out that my sentences have another meaning to him, because now he looked at me again. This time, with such an angry eyes.

“He didn’t do anything wrong, you say?” He asked me. His voice croaked so much out of anger. “I believe you know that I, me, Minho, couldn’t ever be impolite at elder or my manager, but I almost did that because of what he did to us, to you! Did you ever think that it’s ruin my feelings too, to be someone I’m not?” He already lost it by now.

I still try to be the calm one by saying this, “Trust me, I know. You don’t need to explain that, I understood your feeling. And I also feel sorry you have to experience something like that.”

He still looks furious but he didn’t say anything, so I try to explain again,“If you really want to talk about it, of course I will listen to you, but what I meant is we don’t have to care about what Lee Oppa did. He told Manager Oppa, so what? As long as we’re doing fine, Manager Oppa will let us anyway.” I tried to calm him down. I tried to make him come to his senses once again.

His stare is quite challenging, “How can you be so naïve, Noona?”

“What?” To hear that, suddenly I felt my temper came too. “I tell you, as long as we kept everything under the radar, we’re fine. Manager Oppa and I have a promise, and that’s how far I try to make this relationship survive, so do feel relieved because you don’t set thing on fire as you didn’t go and yell at Lee Oppa, and we can continue as if nothing ever happens, for God’s sake!”

I try to keep my tone lower by saying, “I worked myself out and asking him to be kind and as you’re the member he favors as the most obedient one, he considered it. So I will let you know this, you need to continue to lose your ego IF you’re still willing to be with me. It’s really is the price, Minho, and you know that.”

From his eyes I know that Im not saying something that is new to him, but I can feel that he didn’t expect I would say it out loud.

Well, I just feel that Minho is someone who has a bigger heart than me, so I think he could do the same to Lee Oppa. He also blessed with a logical mind. Stress and tiredness only makes him this way.

“The fact that you’re dating your coordi Noona, Minho, that’s not something that people would love to hear. Look at Jjong, even to the news of dating with the beautiful Shin SeKyung, the world seems not to accept that facts. If I’m an actress or a celebrity, I might still have the power of negotiation with many sides, but I’m not.” I paused for a while as I continued with a smaller voice,”I would never want to let go my position as the group’s lead coordi, not for the world, if it’s not for us. But I need to do what I could do.”

Minho sighed again under his breath but I can hear it, and he speaks to me instead, “And you’re not even with us when we’re debuting in Japan. Not even can continue your proposal plan with MBLAQ’s coordi.”

I just shrugged to those facts he pointed out. It might sound exaggerated, but it’s really true that there’s a price to pay for a relationship when it comes to this industry. From the most common one –fake dating publication to promote a movie or drama, to the most ridiculous one –a scenario scandal that made only to cover another scandal. You will be surprised if you knew the reality about who’s dating who, and who’s not exactly dating or even marrying who.

Then after some minute of silence, he speaks out, “Im sick of this situation, where I couldnt do anything whenever something bothers us.”

“Then we could just break up.” I, myself, blinked to the words that I’ve just said to him. And my heart suddenly felt like it’s about to explode. Am I really that crazy to give him that idea? Why do I need to light a fire on his anger once again?

His eyes thinned, “Is that what you want? After all what you’ve given up?”

“Then what do you think?” I asked him back, “I’m just asking you to keep ourselves low and build our own world, just like when it begun at the beginning.”

He shook his head as if he doesn’t agree to my words and whisper faintedly, “Shiro..”

I heard him saying that he hates the idea, so a sad smile appears on my lips.

But then I heard him again,“… But if it can bring your dreams back to you.” Minho said it in one breath.

I scoffed, “Im the only one who can give up or get back my own dreams. Don’t be too full on yourself, act as if you can protect them.” I don’t know why but I want to sound harsh to the point where he finally can speak out what he really wants, without thinking too much.

“Don’t you think you also did the same thing to me too? You said you’re doing anything based on what’s best for me, you think I can’t do that by myself? You’re my girlfriend, not my-my protector! Im supposed to be the one who can handle the situation well and ensure that everything goes as smooth as we want to, Im don’t need you to do those thing for me, for us, because I have to be the one who-“

“Are you finished yet?” I cut his words, “I already got the point. We have talked about this through and through. Minho, you too, are not my protector, as we’re also not in the most normal relationship like other people, we cant do or be like them. We have to do this like how we should, if we want to survive.”

He opened his mouth but I smiled proudly, “I told you, as I have the promise with Manager Oppa, and you continue being the polite and obedient Minho, then WE,” I suppressed the word, “both of us will continue to handle this situation very well.”

With his blank stare, he looked at me, “So why did you have to point out about breaking up?”

I can feel that my eyes soften and I reached out for him to lean my forehead to his shoulder like his gesture a while ago, not to gain his sympathy but to make him understands that I need him to be himself, “Because no matter how strong our bond is, to be honest with you, it’s been haunting me too, Minho.” I don’t care if suddenly I looked pity in front of him, but that’s my honesty. “I’m sorry that I blurted it out.”

Minho wrapped his arms around me as I finished my sentence. I can feel him being apologetic and sorry at in that very second. He understands my insecurity.

I hugged him back as I heard him saying, “You made it sound like it’s a sin for someone to actually love people like me.”

“Oh it’s not a sin. Besides, me and the other women whose lovers are gorgeous just like you, we’re guilty enough to keep you guys only for ourselves.” I tried to joke a little bit as I patted his back.

Minho stayed like this for a while but then I could hear his tone is full of relieve, saying, “I really miss my cool Noona. And Im glad I can embrace you like this again.”

Before I can say anything, he added, “I couldn’t even say Im sorry to you because of what happened with Yuri Noona. I couldn’t even admit that I don’t want Lee Hyung to be near you. Im not showing my true self to you lately, Noona, Im really sorry.”

I pat his head without saying anything, “You know you can say anything to me, like you always did.”

He released the embrace to be able to look at me, “I might took many dreams of yours, therefore please tell me one of yours and I try my best to make that come true. Maybe not today, but I promise you I will.”

I frowned a bit as I think, “Just one?”

“Aish.” He softly swears.

“Ya!” I playfully yelled at him.

“One for now. You know that Im still incapable of many things.” He pouted unconsciously, I guess, but I also think maybe he deliberately acts out his aegyo.

Then I smiled, “Okay. Here’s one. I want all SHINee members to model with my clothes one day. Ah, but it might be so pricey. You guys already so expensive these days, what about in the future?” I sighed as I was thinking about proposing this plan to their Manager.

Now he’s frowning, “All of us? Why did you need all of the 5, you can just use me?”

Startled to the words he chose, I was laughing really hard at him. And to see him looking so annoyed to my laughter once again, I was thinking on the back of my mind, ah~ how can I possibly thinking that I want him to find another women? I couldn’t let him go that easily. And apparently, Im glad that he doesn’t want to find another too.

“Ya, Noona, really.” He’s still nagging at me as then I said to him, “What?”

Im still laughing but then laid my eyes those beautiful dark hazel orbs.
Those long eye-lashes I envy.
That lips which always giving me smile, and surprise kisses everytime he wants to.
His curious eyes.
Then I look at his hand, those usually hold me, but sometimes also need mine to hold.

Yes, even though Im not the warmest person in the world, I know that Minho needs me as much as I need him. In fact, aside from my family, he’s the only one who can make me feel that I should be there for him. But if it’s for the best.. maybe just to know that the same feeling we have for each other is enough.

Because sometimes, being in love and be loved is just like drowning.
You need to get the air or either you will be suffocated. But the thing is, you want to be suffocated by its feeling. Being tangled by the waves, being pulled by the charm even deeper, nor one of them makes you realize that you are soon will be deadly trapped under the water. Until when your feet hits the very ground, that’s when you know you’re already too late to lift yourself to the surface.

The only thing that people who weren’t in love doesn’t know is that love can be dangerous.

And as I look again into Minho’s eyes, I already know that from all the people in the world, now it’s my turn to feel that way. On one second I feel like I want to give up, but on another, I want to try with all I might.

I wonder if love can give me another feeling.

After being in silent for a while, I said to him who looks so tired, “Why don’t we just go home, hm? We can talk later.” I bent down to kiss his cheek but then I pat his shoulder kind of strongly.

He’s kind of startled because of my gesture, but he didn’t say anything although I can feel his stare is following me as I walk to find the owner of this place.

“Um.. Excuse me, Changmin-sshi?” I called up as now im standing in the middle of the living room.

I heard thump and footsteps, as then sound of an open door followed. “Yes?” Changmin appeared, standing tall in front of me. His eyes shifted to his favorite dongsaeng that is still sitting in the sofa.

“Is there anything I can help for you two?” He asked and so I smiled, “I think I will take Minho back to his place. The other members also kind of worried too.”

“Eh?” He seems unsure, but then he nodded, “Ah, okay I understand.” It seems that he will let us talk or do whatever necessary right now, but not here. So he just agreed to what I said.

“Thank you very much.” I bowed, and I almost thanked him for letting Minho to stay here as he’s not in a good state but I know my boyfriend doesn’t like being treated like a child so I didn’t say a word.

So I took my bag and start to search for Minho’s stuff; his jacket on the chair and I took it too before I give him as then I heard Changmin talked to me, “Hm.. I think it would be better if you go first, and then,” he talked to Minho, “You will go later.”

I look at the guy as Minho just stand beside me while he’s wearing his jacket in silent. He might still question what we are going to do or talk after this, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Downstairs, there might be some of the fans, and I don’t want to take a risk of that.” Changmin explains and so I understand then nodding.

“If you come with a car, you can go to the second level basement, find the backdoor, I think it’s safe there. Don’t worry, Minho already know how to go there.” He continued to explain so then I said to Minho, “Im going.”

Minho just nodded and follows Changmin whom is walking me to the door.

“Thank you for taking care of my maknae. Oh, I said that on behalf of Kyu too.” the 88-ers smiled at me –he must means Minho the maknae of Kyu-line, as Minho groaned behind him, “Hyung. Please.”

“What?” Changmin turned his head and say, “You should realize that you’re lucky I am your favorite Hyung so I won't try to make my way on her. Don’t you think she might gonna attracted to me if it’s not because of she knows you first?”

I laughed a bit as I bowed to him again before I walked to the corridor. And I can still hear that Changmin talk to Minho again but this time his tone is different, “I kinda know why Kyu likes her to be with you, but this is not easy. And you cant-” Before then I heard the door is closed.

Yes, Changmin-sshi, I couldn’t agree more. This is difficult.

--

When we walked to their dorm, Kibum is the first one to greet us. I was kind of surprise because he literally pulled Minho into a hug but ended up hitting the latter’s back too, “You didn’t do anything reckless, right?? Yaahh! Talk now, Why don’t you, huh?!”

Minho chuckled as I shook my head to answer Kibum.

“Everything’s fine.” I smiled to assure him and also Taemin, who’s just running out from his room, “Oh, where’s the hyungs?” I asked Kibum.

Kibum is going to answer me as he released Minho while I greeted the housekeeper lady who is just going to leave the place and walk to the door which I was on her way, “Ah, annyeong hasseyo.”

After the lady went out, Baby answered me, “Jonghyun Hyung went to see his girl while Onew Hyung is having a schedule.”

I nodded, “Is that so.. Ah, right! Minho hasn’t eat yet.” Then I look at him, but he shook his head.

Baby looked at Kibum, and the latter gives a signal ‘don’t say anything, let’s just go back to whatever you do earlier’ so Baby nods slightly and carefully walk out from there. While then, Kibum himself walks to the kitchen and leaves us two.

“Do you-“ Minho was talking to me, but he stopped as I looked at my phone and both of us could see that there’s a couple of message from my Boss.

He continued, “Saem wants to see you?”

“Yes, it seems that he wants the team to meet and discuss about the design for Japan.” I explained, as then he said, “Do you really need Saem to finally be able to make a realization of your own design? You still can do that on your own. If you need a funder, I can help you with that.”

Im so startled as then I shook my head, “There’s no need to talk about it right now. Besides, to think about it again, if you really really want to contribute, you’re more useful as a model.”

To add it with a coquettish wink, I said, “Then as a designer, I need your body more than your money. But for now, it’s better for you to just take a rest first. I know you don’t have any schedule but im sure you’re still need to practice later tonight. ”

He looks at me and I think I understand that we both quite tired right now but we have made our amends.

Then I told Kibum and Baby that I’m leaving, and when Minho walked with me to the halfway, I said to him, “Please say to Changmin-sshi, thank you for calling you in the right time and being my savior.” I smiled and hug him slightly as I open the door.

He nods as he held the door for me, “.. Noona?”

I turned around and stop there, “Hm?”

Minho took a step but then he suddenly stops. As he shook his head, he’s giving me fainted smile, “Nothing. See you tomorrow.”

----

A couple of days later, I was on the class where I tutor the first year student when someone entered the room, “Sonsaengnim wants to see you.”

Nodding my head, I stood up and say to the students, “Please continue on your sketches, I will be back in a sec.”

I took my phone and then walk to the studio upstairs. On the way there, I tried to remember whether I have any appointment or anything related to my boss for today. Ah, maybe he wants me to do something new with the boys’ wardrobe? Although I think there’s no addition for now.

“Excuse me.” I knocked the door, then I heard there’s a reply from inside the room.

“Come in.”

I opened the door, “Yes, you want to see me?”

Inside the room I saw there’s a group of people that I never seen before. And then my boss introduced them as the representative from fashion academies in Milan, Paris and Japan respectively. Not long after that, those people; the main designers and their translators left.

“Jihyun already met them last time,” My boss informed me, “As I want her to go to Milan fashion week on February. You, too, will go with her.”

I nodded, “Yes, sir.”

He looked at me, and then he sighs. “Even until now, my decision is still the same. You should know that you will not continue the proposal plan that you and Jihyun developed, not as my underling.”

“Of course, I understand.”

“However,” He tapped his fingers, “I couldn’t deny that I still wanting to give you a chance.”

“Yes?”

“I have told those representatives, if you could impress them with your design, I promise that you can go to 6 months study at whichever academy that wants you.”

My eyes grew as big as marbles, “Really??”

My boss nods, although somehow his gesture is still as stiff as before since he knew about me and Minho, he said, “Do I ever lie to my students?”

I shook my head, “N-no, of course not. Thank you so much for the opportunity.”

“So.. what are you waiting for, prepare for everything and submitted it before next week.” He explained.

I nod firmly, “I will, sir.”

Then he said, “Okay then, you can continue your tutor.”

I bowed before I open the door, and I thanked him again.

“Thanks to Jihyun, she’s the one who kept trying to convince me.” He’s only said that.

I was smiling ear to ear during the tutoring session, and when I go to the boys’ practicing studio later that night,

“Whoa, Noona, something good happened?” Baby greets me with his smile. Onew waved his hand at me but then he continue his reading.

“Yes!” I told him about what my boss said earlier, and he took both of my hands happily, “It’s great, Noona! Have you told Minho Hyung about this?”

I shook my head and still smiling, “I haven’t, because I spend my time during my bus ride here to call Jihyunnie and thanked her.”

Jjong appeared with Kibum but I’m still talking with Taem, then later I saw Minho walked to the room followed by both Assistant Managers. I can see that Minho is still tries to manage his interaction with Lee Oppa to the minimum level.

“Annyeong.” I greeted him, and I believed he could see how happy I am as he lifted his eyebrows.

“Hey you.” He’s smiling at me. However he seems a bit lost his focus as he kept avoiding my eyes.

Manager Oppa walked into the room and saying, “Practice begins in 10!” then everyone shouts their replies saying yes.

And at that moment, Minho is standing right in front of me with both hands in his jeans pockets as then he took out one of his hand to take mine and say, “Noona, come here.”

“Yes?” I smiled. Ah, this is the time. But before I realized, he already pulled me to the corner of the room as everyone is busy with their own.  At first I was hesitate, whether it’s me or him who could speak first. Then he’s the one who open his mouth to call me.

“Noona..”

“Hm?”

He looked at me really firmly, but then his eyes avoiding me as he only look at my hand that was held by him, “Thank you for what you have giving me all of this time. But from now on..” And he loosen up his grip even though my hand is still on his. Slowly he opens his hand just to show me that I can easily pull mine away.

Confused, Im just staring at my hand. But then soon I can understand what this is.

“Let me protect your dream.” He completes his sentence, although I know that it’s not the word he wants to say.

I closed my eyes and take a deep breath.
I haven’t got the chance to say that everything is going to be okay, even about how the teacher still giving me an opportunity, but maybe this is what Minho thinks best for us.
I do too, sometimes feel that I just hope that he will decide it for me, whether it’s to continue or stop.
Although knowing him, he doesn’t have the heart to say it out loud.

All I know is that I love him as much as he does.
But being together, especially in our situation, is something else.

So then I just smile at him, “Chivalrous is always what you do, Minho-ah.” A bit shaking, I took my hand away from him.

“Let’s.. just break up.” Finally, I said it.

We both just stood there in silence for a second until I heard something fell on the floor followed by Kibum’s high pitch voice, “..What??!”

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Gosh, Im finally updating!!!

To all my fellow readers, Im backkk!

I hope you all not tired of waiting.. and I hope you like this chapter. 

Thank you for your support and comments that always giving me the inspiration to continue this story. Especially for the ones who sending me message and question about when will I post my update, you know who you are ;)

... I dont even know what to say since it's been a while and i feel too nervous to be back after such a long time.

So once again, thank you for reading this story of mine, and I hope you enjoy it :)

lovelovelove always, 

Z.