This chapter appearing Park Hae Jin (model and actor) as Noona’s ex. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dr4lDG9sAfA/Soo5dkB3InI/AAAAAAAAUCw/mH3OTfy_2JA/s1600-h/%2831%29.jpg He became more popular widely after appearing as the antagonist character of East of Eden in 2008. He also became one of the permanent members of Family Outing in 2009. He’s the main model in Andre Kim’s 2006 fashion show.

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“Minho.” I called him as I shook his arm slowly. He didn’t move a muscle. “shoot.” I looked at the clock and it’s already 6 in the morning.

Well, it’s not that he often spend the night in my place, but this midnight, after practicing with the members until 2 AM he appeared in my door with rice cake in his hand. He said he’s hungry, but the members just too tired to eat with him.

And there he goes, he fell asleep on my coach. To be honest, I cant even sleep because this happened for the first time and im worried as hell that Manager Oppa will find out that one of his ‘son’ is gone for the whole night. But as I saw Minho’s peaceful sleeping face, I really don’t have heart to wake him up. So I just let him sleep here as I covered him with my blanket.

But now the sun rises and I bet Manager Oppa already awake on the boys’ dorm. I also highly doubt that the boys’ aware Minho wasn’t coming home last night. Well, except Jjong, maybe, as he’s Minho’s roommate.

“Minho!” I tried to wake him up again. Sigh. The boys always said that Minho loves to sleep, and he’s the most difficult one to wake up. But then I saw Hello Baby, I just amazed how easy he got up every time that gorgeous Yoogeunnie came to wake them up. I asked whether the boys are actually already awake, but Taemin said no, they’re actually still sleeping.

“Minho Hyung was like that because he cannot resist Yoogeun’s cuteness, Noona.” Baby said to me at that time, “so maybe if someone performs cuteness like him, Hyung will awake right away.”

You’ve got to be kidding me, Minnie. Aegyo (cutesy) is not really my thing.

I swear I will start to spray some water to his face if this doesn’t work out because I already like.. whispered nicely to him, or patted his shoulder slowly, then shook his arm carefully, and lastly, I shook a bit more strongly for the past 10 minutes.

And he’s only like move a bit then sighed back to his sleep.

“jjinjja (really)!” I slapped his arm, but not harshly, of course. Then I remembered, why don’t I use an alarm clock?

I went to my room and get the alarm clock. Set the time, and.. ‘RRRRRRRIINNGGGGGGG!!!!’

No, im not that cruel, I didn’t put near his ear. I just want to wake him up, not to make him deaf.

“huh-?” he moved his head in surprise but just squinting his eyes. “where-“

“good morning~~~” I raise my tone, “yaa, Minho! I never know that you are this stubborn when you’re sleeping. Wake up wake upp.”

He sat and then looking around. His eyebrows almost joined into one line as he’s frowning. His lips pouted and still look very sleepy. One thing that makes me laugh is his morning hair. So cute, I don’t know what to say. He looks like a little kid.

“I didn’t go home last night.” he said something obvious, but he might still dreaming when he said that.

“yes, as you can see. You’re still here.” I said as I walk to the kitchen.

And when I turned around, I saw him passed out again and just nuzzled to the blanket. I ran over, “no.. no! no! wake up! God, you’re such a baby. You really have to be back to the dorm right now, or Oppa will find out!”

Then he paused, as then his eyes open freaking wide and get up while I was standing really close to his him because I was trying to shake his shoulder.

“dammit Minho! Don’t be like that, you’re scaring me!” I pushed him slightly back to the sofa.

“whattimeisit?” he said.

“almost 6:30?” I answered.

“im in trouble.” he said.

“yes, you are.” I agreed, as he stood up and grab his baseball cap, suddenly he stopped.

“what?” I asked, “you need to be hurry, not posing like this!”

“why am I like this, today’s Sunday, right?” He turned and say, “Hyung is not in our dorm. He usually went to his apartment every Sunday.”

“yeah?” I asked him, “are you sure?”

He laughs, “yeah, yeah.. he’ll be back at our dorm in about.. 10 or 11. That’s why im bailing out. Didn’t I tell you last night?”

I tilted my head, “not that I remember.”

Then both of us sighed in relieved.

“but you cant stay for too long, in case he’s back early.” I told him.”I made some food, you can go wash your face and I have a new toothbrush in the rack I guess..”

“wow, Noona.. you’re really an organized person.” he said it as he walk to the bathroom.

I reply, “why do I get the feeling that you’re actually mocking me, not praising me?”

“or maybe you just expecting me to come, huh?”

“mouh (what)??” I laughed while I also can hear his laugh before he closed the door. I just prepared some bread, but I just cooked rice and still have side dishes and kimchi in the fridge.

As I hear the water running from the bathroom, I took a glance at my cellphone.

It’s been 2 days since Hae Jin send me a message, and.. havent talk to Minho about it. Not even a word.
I already replied it yesterday, before Minho came.

I said to him, yes we can meet, but just for an hour or so, because I still have work to do.

And he just replied right away, he wants us to have lunch today. That, happened before Minho appears.

Earlier, before I try to wake Minho up, I send Jin a message, asking him where the place, but he’s not yet send me a reply. Now I walked to the coffee table, and grab the phone to check it.

Yep, still no answer. Then I walked back to the kitchen after I erased all the messages.

Dammit. Why do I have to be agree with him to meet up?
At first, I was thinking, the sooner the better, but suddenly, as Minho is here, so close like this, I begin to feel like Im doing something behind his back.

Is it better if I told him the truth? But.. I bet he will be pissed and I don’t know, maybe take this in a wrong way. I never really talked about my ex with him, since he seems to think, I don’t want to talk about it because I never mention. And yes, he’s right. I just don’t think it’s necessary. I don’t really want to know about Minho’s ex-girlfriend too.

It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that.. im not interested to dug up his story if he doesn’t feel like wanting to do it. If Minho wants me to know, then he will tell. Although I highly doubted he will, knowing he doesn’t speak that much about girls.

Of course, he told me who he thinks as the prettiest, or the coolest, but it’s just that. No feelings there.

So, I think he’s pretty much like that towards me too. If I want him to know, then I will tell.

And in this case, I don’t tell him not because I intend to lying or anything, it’s just that.. im gonna think this as a meeting with a friend, so.. and besides, to be honest, I never really know how Minho thinks about my ex. I never asked him before. Why should I?

Dammit. Why is it suddenly so confusing like this? I hate it.
Okay, fine. Today I will meet him, but that’s it.
Besides, today’s the boys have a practice with their trainer, it seems that Minho is gonna spend the day at the gym or the dorm until in the afternoon.

Im sorry Minho, it’s not that Im hiding it for you. It’s just that.. the less you involved with this, the easier for us.

Hm.. I think I never talk about the reason why Jin and I broke up, well, it’s not because of one particular reason. It’s just that.. he’s busy in Japan, and im busy in here. Long distance relationship is not that difficult, but the thing is, as the communication became rare and somehow everytime we talked, we just keep arguing and start to be selfish.

I want ‘this’, he want me to be ‘that’.
He said ‘’you don’t understand me”, while im the one who thinks he’s like that to me.
One by one, small problems became bigger and bigger.
Until one day, he questioned am I still being loyal to him.
I thought he trusted me, so I was furious because he’s like accusing me without any reason.
Then I just pointed at him, that this just an excuse for him to break up with me.

And then after that, things became uglier until we reached the phase where we’re not talking.
Then I think you all can pretty much picture what happened and where all of this leads to.

Actually, one of the reason why I felt so damn confused by not telling Minho about the message, is because I was accused being not loyal back then.
Since then, I promised myself that I would be honest with my partner no matter what, but I guess.. it’s not as easy as I thought.

The main problem and the most important thing of all is that, you see, knowing Minho, he might just going to go with me and meet Jin if he knew my ex was trying to contacted me. But the problem is.. not only it would make Jin lifted his eyebrows on surprise and then everything –the discussion about my new relationship, could possibly going overboard, I also doesn’t want to risk it.

The next thing is to appear in the public only with me, and not to mention my ex is also a well-known actor, is not really the thing I wanted to happen to Minho. No, not for now, when even we’re still play hide and seek with his Manager.

I sighed as I heard the bathroom door is open.

“Jagiya (honey)..?” he called.

“im in the kitchen.” I answered.

From the sound it seems that he took out something from his bag, I don’t know I cant see from where I stand. Maybe he checked up on his cell or something. About a minute later, he appeared as he put on a clean shirt from his bag. Yeah, the boys always carry one inside their bag, a habit because they sweat so much from the dance and stuff.

He looked at me and I smiled.

“eat first before you go back.” I pointed to the bread, “or you want rice?”

He sat down on the table and then he’s staring the food for a while, “bread is okay.” he took it and then I opened the fridge.

“milk?” I showed a carton box of milk.

He nods, and thanked me when I gave him a glass then pouring it for him, “gomawo (thanks).”

I patted his shoulder as he said, “so this what it feels like..” as he sighed.

People said if you’re hiding something or feeling guilty about someone, you feel more sensitive about any statement, even to the one that didn’t related to those thing you did. That’s what happened to me now.

“w-what..?” I asked him from behind as Im washing the dirty plates from last night.

“yeah.. when you’re in relationship.” he said so I turned around, slowly, to see what he implied, and how he looks like when he said it.

He continued as now I faced him, “.. wake up in the morning, having breakfast together..” he pointed to the table and to both of us.”

I sighed in relieve secretly, “it’s nothing..” I commented.

He shrugged, “well, this is a new thing for me.” and look me in the eye as if.. he said, ‘unlike you’. I was blinked because I feel nervous. For God’s sake, I hate how my mind playing with me.

But to hiding it, I just smile and say, “just start to eat.. I want you to come home before Manager Oppa arrive at the dorm.”

“don’t worry, I already tell Jonghyun Hyung, if Hyung came and ask where am I, I was jogging around the area.”

“Minho.” I said to him. I warned him, actually.

“hm?” he just ignored me as he put the strawberry jam on the bread.

“please don’t be like that.. because if he finds out, he wont trust you anymore.” I said it to him as I leaned to the table in front of him.

He still in the current position, but his eyes looked up. And thanks to my guilt, now I started to imagining stuff like his stare shows that he’s upset or blaming me.

“please..?” I said again, but with a smaller voice. Damn you Minho, I got chickened out.

At first I thought he would talk back, but no. Threw his back to the chair, he said as he started to chew the bread. “of course. What wouldn’t I do for you, Noona?” he lifted his bread, “you told me to eat, I ate.”

“aigoo, our Minho is a good boy.” I said just to joke around, and pat his cheek like he’s just a baby. But a second after that I regretted it. Even Taemin would swat my hand if I did that when he’s in a serious mood.

But no, Minho just smiled.

To be honest, it’s weird. Because I expected him to be flipped out like every time the age issue arise or when me treating him like a kid. But then again, I think I might just too paranoid myself right now.

I smiled back at him, and not long after that, just like what I told him to do, he stood up then walked to get his bag while saying, “thanks for the meal, Noona.” Not jagiya.
But he left after he kissed me right on the forehead. This is the first time he did that.
Please don’t make me feel guiltier than this, Minho.

--

Around lunch hour, I went to this restaurant where Jin told me. This morning he called me twice, but it left as miss calls. As it happened around Minho visited, I actually a bit worried, whether he saw the call or not –because my phone is carelessly lying at the coffee table all the time, but no, I think Minho didn’t see it.

Because he might be quiet, but you know what happened if he’s jealous, right? so he might ask it right away when he saw my ex’s name on the LCD.

Hae Jin waited me in a vip room for 6 people, while he’s already there with his assistant, I guess.

And I was right.

“annyeong (hi)..” he waved at me as I walked into the room. There sitting beside him, is his assistant. I knew him. He’s quite nice, not like Jin’s manager, I think I said it before, she doesn’t really approve my relationship. Not because my ex doesnt allowed to have one, but it seems that the manager think he should be together –or at least, to fake it, with a young actress or something. Publicity stunt.

That’s one thing I like about the 28 years old Park Hae Jin. He’s determined. As he thought he doesn’t need to have a fake relationship with a rookie actress, he chose to be with me after we got close thanks to one of my unnies.

Well, that happened a couple years ago, when everything’s still seems right between us. I was younger those days and Hae Jin can make me feel safe more than just like an older brother.

“annyeong.” I replied and also bowed to the assistant, which I knew, will be leaving soon so it would be just the two of us, Hae Jin and me.

What I like about this former relationship of mine, is that we’re not really hiding from the one around us. Although the manager doesn’t approve, at least she acknowledged it. Both of Hae Jin and my parents also know about the relationship although we barely meet.

“how are you?” I asked, trying to be nice –and reduce my own nervousness.

“im great. You?” he smiles. And his smile is remain the same, have the coolness of a model, but if you look closely, it’s rather sweet and geeky.

Im also doing and FEELS great, until you suddenly appear, you know. But of course I didn’t say that because I said “me too.” instead.

So as we start to catching up, then our orders came, the assistant left the room.

“thanks, Hyung.” Hae Jin said it and I just bowed politely to the assistant before he walked out.

We eat in silence, but then he said,

“I missed this. When we still can meet even without the assistant ‘helping’ us.”

I laughed, “and that’s what.. like million years ago? You know when we’re actually dating it’s already chaos because your manager think people will recognize you because of Eden.”

He chuckled, “but what happened is not actually like that. People didn’t even notice me when im in the subway.”

“how disappointing it must be for an actor like you, right?”

“well, kinda.” He shows his silly smile.

Sometimes, I also missed this. Not particularly missing him in person, I just missed the day when we can just sit around, eating some food and laugh over small things. What happened to all of this..? the question often appear in my mind during those days when we’re in the silent phase.

Is it only because of the distance? Or it’s really because we let it slip away without trying to grasp it again with both of our hands?

It’s like he can read my mind, as the laughing stops, he looked at me, “actually.. I’ve been thinking, maybe.. if we can meet more often in the past, we wouldn’t lose this..”

“w-what?” I stared back at him.

He laughs nervously, “sorry, I cant help to brought it up.”

I shook my head, “no, it’s okay. It’s just the past, anyway.”

And to my surprise, he asked, “do you really think like that?”

“this of what?”

“that we’re really over..”

Now I don’t get it. “Jin Oppa, we already broke up. Do we still looks like we’re together?”

“it’s just like.. a month ago.” He took off his glasses and put it on the table.

“but we know that the relationship couldn’t work long before that.” I said to him, start to get annoyed.

When I saw his expression became stubborn, suddenly I heard my phone ringing. And the ring tone.. it’s Minho.

Hesitatedly, I took it from my bag.

“you can answer it..” Hae Jin said. Like I need your permission. But now Im confused. Do I really need to answer this outside? It will make him question even more, and I don’t need that. I really don’t.

So I just answered it right there.

“yeoboseyo (hello)?”

“Noona, what are you doing right now?” shoot. Bulls eye. What a question you got here, Minho. But damn his voice just as usual, really warm. I never know that I can feel like this, both nervous but also glad to hear Minho’s voice.

“im.. having lunch right now. What is it?” I asked.

“Jonghyun Hyung, Kibum and I decided to go around. They want to buy some sneakers I think, that’s why Sun Noona was invited, she knew a new place,” Minho kept talking, and im trying to listen while I watch Jin is eating his food again, “and I want to buy coat for Fall. So come with us..?” Minho asked me, somehow his voice seems careful.

“.. now?” I twitched my lips unconsciously. Well, it’s normal for the boys invited coordi –in this case, me, or the assistants everytime they want to do some shopping.

“well, we’re just walk out from the dorm, so if you’re coming, we can walked to your place,”

“my-“ place? I cut his words but he continued,”then we meet Sun Noona on the.. I don’t know the station, Kibum does.”

Before I can respond, he asked me again, “yes, your place. Wait, .. ah so you’re having lunch outside?”

“yes..” I said. I actually a bit worried that he will ask with whom, but he just said, “so.. do you want to join after you finish your lunch?”

I looked at Hae Jin again, as then I nod unconsciously, although it’s unnecessary since I do that to Minho on the phone while he couldn’t see, “of course.. I will. When I finished, I’ll call you.”

“great.” He replied. At first, I feel like his tone is a bit.. tired? or down? But as he said that word, it seems the mood became lighter and sounds better.

I smiled to my own reply which is only a repeat of what he said, “great.”

“bye Noona.”

“bye.” I said but when I was going to put my phone down from my ear, I heard he called me, “.. jagiya?” not Noona this time.

I can see Hae Jin took a glance at me, but there’s no way he did that because he can hear Minho’s voice, then I said to him, “..ne (yes)?”

Then I can imagine he shook his head while saying, “nothing.. see you.”

I laughed a bit –nervously, though, “see you, Minho.” And I let his name slipped through my lips.

I wanted to see Hae Jin’s reaction but I don’t want to make it obvious, so I just closed the phone and took my fork to eat.

“Minho.. Choi?” Jin asked, in a normal tone, actually.

“yeah.. the boys wanted to do some shopping.” I shrugged.

He laughs, “of course, you’re the coordi Noona.”

I smiled, as if our conversation before was never exist. How ironic this is, Minho’s phone call is the reason why Jin and I forget about our argument.

Of course, Hae Jin never have the chance to meet the boys, as I became close to them when Jin is already going back and forth from Seoul-Tokyo, but there’s the time where I discussed things about the boys with him.

Like when he heard I was going to work with Shinee, he pointed out, “ah! one of them, Choi Minho, he got chosen for Andre Kim, right?”

At that time, like I told you before, I still met Shinee in terms only for once every 2 weeks. But I knew about that fashion event. And coincidentally, Jin was appearing in Kim songsaenim’s show in 2006.

I still quite remember, Jin praised Minho, “I heard that songsaenim hand-picked him, and he’s still what? 16? Wow.”

So now if I remembered about all of that again, it feels really weird.

As it looks like Jin dropped the boys’ issue, he sighed and back to our previous topic, “I know I was wrong.. and to point ‘distance’ or ‘misunderstanding’ as the reasons, it seems unfair.”

I frowned, what’s exactly he wanted to say?

“I want to hear what do you think about us..” he continued, “look.. Im still going back to Tokyo, but it’s not going to affect anything.”

“what do you mean?” I asked him, “us..? there’s no ‘us’ anymore, Oppa. You knew that.”

“I know. That’s why im here right now.”

“but why now?” I asked.

He said, “why now?”

“where were you until that day you texted me? and didn’t you say that now we meet as friend?”

He’s frowning. While im continuing, “you agreed with everything when we decided to end this. By the way, when exactly you came back to Seoul, again?”

At first he doesn’t give me an answer, but then he said, “I’ve been here for two weeks, I guess.” He answered.

I laughed, “see? so why now?”

“because I need time to think about this!” he seems more upset and to hear his words, I lifted my eyebrows in surprise.

“well, I can understand. I still cant forget how you accused me even until now.” I shrugged.

“I was wrong. I admit it.” he said. And that’s it. Before he talks more about this, or even worst, ask me to consider about getting back together, I put my fork down and say,

“Oppa, thank you for the meal. And it’s always nice to meet a friend.. it’s been a while.” I said, “im sorry if im being impolite, but I have to go.”

He looked at me, and then said, “so.. it’s not going to work, is it?”

“what?”

“us.” He said.

“I.. im sorry, I cant.” I shook my head.

“is it because there’s someone else?”

Dammit.

I took my bag and nod. I feel sorry for him, but that’s the truth. I couldn’t tell him any furtehr, but at least I can do this.

Please don’t ask me who-

“wow, you’re fast.” He said it. I was going to talk back at him, but as I looked at his expression, I couldn’t.

He didn’t say it with suspicious look, he looked astonish and.. disappointed.

“I never thought of you as someone who can fall so easily.” He said again.

Well, im not.
But.. Minho is an exception.
Right? one’s heart could make an exception when it comes to how we feels, right?
Nothing logic can explain it.

“I don’t know if this going to make a difference or not.. but Im not cheating on you. It all happens after we’re done-“ I explained this as I stood up then he cut my words,

“then I have no choice.. other than trusted you this time.” Hae Jin smiled sadly.

I bowed deeply and then I said, “thank you Oppa.”

He laughs, “what for? Come on, don’t be like that. In fact, Im the one who wanted to thank you, you still want to meet me. And he must’ve trusted you to let you went down here today.”

Oh, Minho doesn’t know about this. He doesn’t need to.
Because this has nothing to do with my relationship, and I don’t think im going to meet Jin again after this.

I just smiled and say, “annyeong.” Before I left.

Hae Jin waved slowly when I saw his shadow between the closing door.

--

During the time I spent with the boys, I was like.. pushing myself to laugh with them.

Enjoying the day, without thinking about what just happened today.

It’s nothing.
It means nothing.
So just forget it.

Oh it’s not difficult to forget about it. What’s difficult is every time I saw Minho’s smiling at me, or talking to me, I kept talking to myself,

‘he does deserves to know, you idiot.’

And then another line came up,

‘do you want him not to tell you if he met his ex-girlfriend, or any girl friend, behind your back?’

It’s okay, because I trusted him.

Then the reply of that thought yelling through my brain,

‘it might be true, but you still want him to tell you anyway, don’t you?’

Sigh.

My mind wont let me be in peace as it questioning me again,

‘what if.. he found out later? are you going to live with another false accuse pointing at you?’

No.

‘well, you didn’t do anything wrong, so just tell him!’

I..

And when the shopping time is over, we need to be on the place where the boys are going to perform. So thanks to my job, I got distracted for a couple of hours.

Unfortunately, once again, Minho came to my place after they went to back the dorm.

“are you lost your mind? Manager Oppa-“

Minho smiled and say, “don’t worry, im not gonna stay for too long. You know how I love to jog around on midnight.” He told me his ‘excuse’. Well, he does appear with his track pants and black tshirt along with a running shoes.

I sighed, “come in.” as he followed me inside my small-but-cozy-enough apartment.

“hey, is your leg really okay? I kept looking because you’re limping again.” I asked him.

He looked at me and cover his face with one hand, “do you want an honest answer, or..?”

“what kind of question is that, Choi Minho?” I gave him a glass of ice water.

He took it and say, “yeah, it’s still slightly,” he’s showing me a gap formed by his index and middle finger, “just SLIGHTLY.. hurt.”

“wh-“ I stopped but then just sit beside him, “ah.. whatever.”

Sitting there, he suddenly laughs. So I looked at him, “why are you even laughing? im not joking right now.”

“I know.. it’s just.. because I remembered Jonghyun Hyung said, every time a woman said ‘whatever’ it’s always mean that we, men, needs to be careful.”

“and you listen to Jjong’s class of ‘get to know what’s inside girl’s mind’?” I said and Minho shrugged.

But then I nodded, “well, he’s right though.”

He said to me, “I promise you, every time it feels hurt, I will tell my doctor.”

“so did you do that now?”

Nodding, he said, “yes, I told him yesterday.”

“good.” I smiled as I remembered I plan to eat before he came earlier, so I walk to the kitchen.

“do you want some cake? Im craving for sweet stuffs, so I bought it.” I asked him.

He appeared and say, “Im not allowed to eat in this kind of hour, remember?”

“but you ate a lot last night.” I pointed out.

But he still shook his head, “no, thanks. Noona, you eat it.”

I nodded and when I was going to turn around to put the plate on the table, he suddenly embraced me from behind. His arms is around my waist, locked me so I can barely move.

“omo. You startled me!” I laughed. I put the plate of cake on the kitchen desk.

He just laughs and rested his chin on my head. Not the top of it, but yeah, nearly, as Im not wearing high heels right now.

“so how am I going to eat like this?” I asked.

“you can still eat, your hands are free.” He answered.

“but standing like this?”

“oh come on, there’s only me around here. No reason to think about polite or impolite. People eats while they’re standing at a party.”

“we’re in my apartment, Minho, not in a party.”

“then pretend like we’re at one. Who knows when we can attend together in a party.” Now he’s resting his head on my shoulder.

He’s right. Sadly but true.

I spooned the cake and eat it.

“masitta (delicious).” I murmured.

“our Noona ate so well.”

“yaa~” I protested but he just laugh. I can feel that he’s staring at me while im enjoying the cake.

I spooned again and turn my head to him while I want to feed him the cake. He shook his head and say, “eat it all, Noona. You’re not even a half of me, you need to eat more.”

“booya (what the hell).” I replied as I ate the cake myself and he kissed the side of my head.

There’s a peaceful silence, until he said,

“Jagiya..”

“hm?”

“Park Hae Jin Hyung.. he called you this morning, did he?”

..
…
He knew.
He knew all this time.

I didn’t move a muscle. But I answered, “yes.”

He’s not answering right away, “why?”

There’s no way I can lie- “nothing. just.. he tells me that he’s back in Seoul.”

And I still cant say it.

“so you’re still contact each other..” he said.

“no!” dammit. Now he got the wrong idea. “no, we didn’t.”

“it’s okay, Noona.. you don’t have to hide it. I wouldn’t mind.” he said. “I still contacted with my ex, sometimes, well, as we’re highschool’s friend.”

Ouch. Double ouch.

Because turns out it slightly surprised me to know he still in contact with his ex. And also because.. the truth is im not even lying about this. Hae Jin never called or texted me since we broke up.

“but im not lying.” I said.

“yes?” he said. His voice has nothing difference, unless it seems that he wanted a confirmation.

“yes!” I answered.

He still in the current position while I put my hand on his arms that wrapped around my waist, “I don’t really understand what happened between you two, but.. I always have the impression that you didn’t want to see him. Maybe because the image of you throwing your innocent cellphone marked inside my mind.” as then he laughs at his own words.

I laughed too, but after that he said, “I thought he’s going to ask to meet you or something as now he’s here.”

I didn’t say anything.
2 seconds. 3 seconds. Say something, stupid.
But Minho’s faster.

“he did.. didn’t he?” he pulled back a bit and he turns me around so he can see me clearly.

Oh shoot.

“yes.” I finally answered.

‘you’re hiding it.’ that’s what his stare means.

“so.. you plan to meet him?” he asked and I was just looking at him. How am I supposed to answer you, Minho, while I already meet him?

“I..”

He got his answer just by seeing the look on my face, “the lunch.. was when you meet him, wasn’t it?”

“I can explain-“

“I knew it. Somehow, your answer seem stiff.” He said.

“but then it’s nothing. We’re just eating, I only even meet him less than an hour!” I said to him, start to feel worst.

He doesn’t show a lot of expression. He doesn’t even look mad for me.

“is that so?” he asked with his deep and calm voice. I was too anxious to be able to read how does he feels right now. “is that it?”

I cant do this anymore. So then I told him,

“I’ll tell you.”

Then he just stood still as if he’s waiting for my explanation.
But his eyes.. suddenly feels so empty.

“he called me, and texted me 2 days ago. That’s the first time since we broke up. And he asked me to meet him, so I met him. I didn’t tell you because it’s nothing. He said it’s like a meeting of two friends.”

“and you believed him, of course.” Yes, Minho, you don’t need to tell me how I can be stupid sometimes.

“I agreed to meet him, as a friend. And.. and yes, he talked about our past and everything, but I told him that I cant. He asked me is it because of-because of someone else and I said yes. See? I really wanted to tell him about.. about us.”

He didn’t say anything, just folding his arms so I continued, “he didn’t ask who, and I didn’t tell him too. Then he said he doesn’t have a chance anymore, and that’s it..”

“what’s exactly makes you two broke up, again?” Minho suddenly said that.

“many arguments, and anything.. but mainly because..” dammit, “because.. he questioned my loyalty, I don’t like being questioned. Or doubt.”

He looked at me and say, “the reason why I didn’t bring it up as soon as I saw Park Hyung’s name on your phone, is because I trusted you. Me too, I hated being doubt, that’s why, I try not to be like that to you.”

I held his shirt, only because I feel like he’s mad and ready to leave in a second, as then he said, “Im trying to be someone you expect me to be, and to react about this kind of stuff when it finally happens. But.. I would’ve been happier, if you somehow, decide to tell me right away. Because I wouldn’t mind, really..”

Once again, he’s more mature than I am.

“well, I can be annoying if I was jealous, but.. you know, when it comes to exes, there’s nothing we can do about it. It something that you two had before you and I happen, right?”

I nod with so much difficulty.

Why, why you have to be like this, Minho?
It might be easier for me if you’re shouting at me.

“wae (why)?” I asked.

“why what?” he walked to the sofa.

“why don’t you just mad at me? like that night when you said I was trying to be responsible and how I always look at you as a child..” I was so mad at myself I feel like yelling at my reflection on the mirror.

He shrugged, “because if I did that.. wouldn’t it makes me really like a child?”

And nothing beats me harder than what he just said to me.

Then he grabbed his bag and walk to me again while saying, “don’t think about it so much, Im not mad at you, Noona.” But no jagiya (sweety)..

With me, standing there, he just patted my cheek and say, “I think I have to go back now before Hyung try to find me.”

Walk him to the doorway, I said, “see you tomorrow..”

“yeah.” He just said it and when he’s going to open the door, I called him,

“.. Minho?”

He turned around, “hm?”

“im sorry.” I said, but I couldn’t see his face, I looked down to the floor.

As suddenly I feel something warm. He kissed me on the forehead again.

When I lifted my head, he said, “I know.” with a disappointed slight smile.

Then he turned around to really open the door this time.
When I see his back, his back seems so lonely.
And just by seeing that I know he’s mad.
He’s really upset.
I knew.. that Im making him sad.

*************************

whoa, the longest chapter of the story!

i hope i didnt bore you..

so what's going to happen next? is Hae Jin is really never gonna appear again? i cant promise you, tee-hee :)

and how's tomorrow for both Minho and Noona, are they going to be fine? i cant promise you either, lol

stick around and please wait patiently to find out!

dont forget to comment! lovelovelove,

z.