--

“I have a relationship with Minho.” And this is the second time I confessed about the same thing in two days in a row.

First, to Jihyun yesterday, and now to Manager Oppa on his office.

Everyone’s back from Tokyo yesterday, but I haven’t meet the boys since they have a break yesterday and now they’re already rehearsal on the TV station.

Right now Im sitting in front of him, in his small office room. He lifted his eyebrows as I speak. But he did gave me the time I need to explain myself. I told him that Minho and I started seeing each other not long before their Lucifer comeback.

Really brings all my courage to say those words, and I know, I risk everything Minho has been working on for our relationship. But this is what we need, at least if im trying to be honest to the Manager, everything between us will be clearer and he doesn’t need to do anything to jeopardize my relationship with Minho.

Of course, Jihyun’s reaction would be different than Manager Oppa’s, but still, how he reacts is quite surprised me. I thought he would at least look.. angry.

Like I expected, Jihyun was so startled. Almost choke on her coffee. She demands me to tell everything, but knowing me, she doesn’t push the button too hard, I would barely tell her anything if she asked me too far. But then she said it’s understandable, once she caught one of Mblaq members flirting with a new make up artist too. Actually I felt a bit offended because what Minho and I got through was never a flirty situation even at the beginning, but I didn’t give any comment to what Jihyun said to me. I appreciate her enough when she promised not going to make a fuss over all of this. She’s one of my oldest friends both inside and outside the business, after all.

Meanwhile, Manager Oppa’s reaction is just saying this; “It’s about time.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been wondering when will you come and finally tell me this.” He said, “You wouldn’t think that I really didn’t know about it, right? Or at least I thought you already can guess that I knew more than I show you.”

I sighed. Really, this guy. He never failed on making me feel tired. And surprised.

“I just.. want to know how far you will try to hide it from me. But I have to admit, I was pretty amused by Minho’s determination. He did everything he can, I presumed, on keeping things under the radar.. although the result is still the same in the end; I found out.”

“Exactly how did you find out about this?” I suddenly asked that and it seems pretty much off guard, even his expression is changed a bit.

“I have my ways.” He said, as then the door was knocked, “Come in.”

It’s Lee Oppa, he came with files on his hand.

“Hey.” He greeted me as I smiled back.

Manager Oppa took the files and say to me, “So what makes you changed your mind and tell me everything?”

I was hesitating to answer, because there’s Lee Oppa, but then Manager said, “I always tell my assistants everything.” Shoot.

“Ah, yes, it’s um.. because.. im here to ask you to protect Minho from the agency. I mean, if they found out-“

“Isnt that what im always trying to do, hm? And that’s the part of my job.” Manager cut my words, but not harshly. I sighed.

“Im sorry, I don’t mean to be rude.” I apologized.

“Things like this is already inside the contract, I cant say anything but to respect it. It’s unreasonable, but it’s valid on the same time.” Manager explained, “You can say that I don’t care about the member’s feeling, but it’s not the case. Im just do what I have to do, and what’s right. Tell me that im wrong.”

Yes, yes of course I know that you are right! For God’s sake. And there’s nothing to say about something that is provenly wrong; like my relationship if it was viewed by the agency and the contract. But.. what about Minho himself?

“No, you’re right, Oppa.” I nodded, “But..”

He linked his hands like he’s thinking about something and then he said, “Go on..”

“But.. what if I can make sure that this issue will never be a problem for Minho? Im not saying this because im his girl- I mean, im not saying this to defend him, and I don’t want to be outsmart in this, but as long as I can see.. my relationship doesn’t affect his work, focus or even schedules. He never caught in a scandal, and he’s still Choi Minho you know..” I said.

After a pause I continue, “I don’t know when you found out about his relationship with me, but I can assure you that he’s been sincere from the very beginning. I.. I look at him as a young man who stood up for his own feelings and mind, who already considered about what he might going to get through if everything goes not well, and he still wants to pursue it with his own principal.”

“You have to trust me, both he and I were thinking about all of this many times. And that’s why I think I need to respect him and this relationship more, because we’re serious in this. You might already sees Jonghyun’s determination, so you know that what Im trying to do right now is not too different that that.”

Im still talking, I don’t care what he’s thinking, or Lee Oppa think of me right now, he’s standing there like he’s listening to something unusually happened in his boss’ office.

“I think it would be unfair to Minho if I just going to agree to end this without even fight for it. And I know, what im asking you is out of question, but.. I can’t let anything harm him if I know I can stop it.”

Silence stills inside the office before Manager Oppa spoke out, “So tell me, what if the agency found out and he punishes him, let’s just say, like what they decided on Jonghyun-goon?”

“I believe Minho can handle it as well as Jonghyun did. And I hope I did too, like Eunjung.” I said.

“Now she’s somehow as optimistic as Minho himself, right Hyung?” Lee Oppa suddenly joined the conversation right after I answered Manager’s question.

I looked at Lee Oppa and smile a bit.

“Well, I can always be a back-up for you and Minho-goon if something happened. Or if you want we can also use Kang Hyung.” Lee Oppa is even giving his thumb up at me. My smile turns into a small laughter.

“So.. what do you want me to do right now?” Manager Oppa asked me so I turned to be serious again and looked at him.

I shook my head, “Im just hoping that you will let Minho to be as happy as he is right now, as nothing change, and everything goes like normal.”

I cant stand to see Minho’s disturbed eyes. Really. Knowing that some of the reasons are related to me, it’s killing me.

“Well, that’s simple. Too simple that I feel it’s surreal.” He shook his head.

“But that’s the truth.” I said.

“You know that if anyone else knows about this and things got worst, you cant go to me like this for the second time.” He said to me, just to make everything clear, that this is the first and also the last time.

“.. Yes. I understand that.” And hoping that I really do can trust Jihyun, because I just did something I never done before, telling someone else other than my family about my relationship.

Manager Oppa looked at me, and then he took a glance at his assistant. I do hope that Kang Oppa can shut his mouth IF he also knew about this.

Then it’s like im waiting forever, Manager Oppa said, “Fine.”

I lifted my head and look at him with gratitude.

“I admire your determination, that’s why.” He said, “Although too much determination, added from Minho’s too, can be bothersome.” He sighed.

“I would be so thankful if you don’t tell him anything about this conversation.” Because I will do it by myself.

He lifted his hand, means he doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. Which is great.

Then Manager said, “Actually, I’ve been wondering, when will Minho come to me and act like the man he always said he wants to be; fight until death, but of course, you’re the one with those ambitious eyes.”

I shook my head, “Im sorry, Oppa, but you’re wrong this time. Minho didn’t come to you because that’s the way he fights. He always uses his silence as his weapon. And in the end, we all surrender, don’t we?”

--

“Annyeong~~” I greeted everyone as I peeked through the door. The boys now are on the TV station for the End of Year performance.

“Noona? Is that you?” Onew is the one who greeted me. He turned his head as there’s a laptop in front of him. He’s sitting between Taemin and Kibum who are standing and also staring at the monitor.

“Eh? Why don’t you all get prepare for the performance? Where’s Eun-ah, Ae-ah?” I put the meal box I got from the security down there, saying that it’s from the boys’ fans.

Kibum looked at me, “What did you do to your hair?” as now the three boys are staring at me, and also M, their hair and makeup artist.

I laugh, “I used to have long hair since I was a child. Does it look weird?”

Call me crazy, but after I talked to Jihyun the other day and then we decided to at least relaxing for a while after the tension, and we both went to Joon’s favorite hair salon, I got the idea. I suddenly miss those days when Im just a young girl who went to school in Canada, spending time everyday playing and love to create hairstyle with my hair, and Cho Hee’s. That’s why she let her hair long and way down to her waist.

M, as the hairstylist himself, ran his finger on my hair that now long down to my back, almost reaching my waist but still not as long as Cho’s, and not as wavy. “The quality is perfect.” The hairstylist commented, “As I expected from you.”

I smiled, “Im dying to have a real long one, but the wait is killing me.” As I joked.

Now suddenly I turned into Onew and Kibum’s toys as they’re playing with my black, well, artificial extension hair. It’s somehow funny for me to know that they never really treating me like Im their little girl since I think they don’t dare do it to me but look at them right now. If Jjong were here, he must be join these two guys too.

Kibum said, “Now I can see resembles between you and Cho Baby.”

“Really, just because of the hair?” I snorted, “Baby?” I asked as I realized he’s been staring at me without saying anything, “Missed your own?” I gestured my finger to his shoulder, meaning his hairstyle in Lucifer.

Minho and some people walked inside the room but Im still staring at Taemin who suddenly blinked as he laughs and throw his hands to hug me, “Byul, you’re alive!”

“Huh??”

“Byul?” it means star in Korean.

“Yes! My mother’s doll! Byul!” Taemin exclaimed as he’s still jumping around like a kid, one hand wrapping all over me, but the other one is also pulling Onew in excitement as if I was really his doll that goes living into a human. Remember I once told you about his mom giving him a doll to substitute her when she went for work? Turns out that it has a name, Byul.

Everyone is laughing as then Minho commented, “Taeminnie is the one who brought back to life.”

Onew commented, “Yes, he seems so dead off the stage.” But his hand is still pretty much like a roll, he kept curling my hair. Maybe he’s craving for some ramen soup, I guess.

Baby protested, “Im not,” but then he smiled sheepishly,”Well, yeah, im so sleepy I can barely open my eyes during those Japan interview.” Onew messed Baby’s hair as he laughs and walk to my assistant to ask something.

“So who looks more like Byul, Noona or Cho Hee, huh Taeminnie?” Kibum teased but then become busy with his phone, someone called him.

Not really answering his hyung, Baby just mumbled something I couldn’t hear and then sit on the sofa next to both of us.

Then Minho walked across to looked at me and give a comment that sounds as normal as the other’s, “You look different, Noona.” But I know he seems to be pleased by my new look. Yes, how can I forget that he couldn’t resist a woman with long hair? To be honest, I change my look also because of that reason. Call me shallow but please dont judge me.

“Thanks.” I said and joke, “Different is good, right?” And as I saw there are the Managers inside the room, somehow it feels weird, knowing that now they all aware of my relationship with Minho but my boyfriend himself is still don’t know about this.

His doe eyes also smiles as he nodded.

I mouthed, “You like it?”

He replied with inaudible voice too, “So much I want to eat you right now.”

“YAA!” I whisper loudly as we laugh together because of his naughty comment, but suddenly I felt my arm got pulled, as I ended fall on the sofa. I looked up and see Taemin with his smile.

“Yes, Baby, what is it?” I asked him as we sit. Minho still stood there.

Taemin shook his head, “Now which wardrobe I have to wear, Byul?” his mischievous eyes reminds me on how I love being among them, and working in this environment.

“Yaa!” Kibum exclaimed from aside but still talking on the phone, “She’s older than you, Minnie!”

“Fine, Byul Noona.” Taemin corrected. He rested his head on my shoulder like a little puppy. I almost wonder why he acted like that, but then I remember, it’s been a while for him to be pampered by me. Recently he kept up his act like my older brother, protecting my heart whenever I was being such a weird jealous girlfriend for Minho.

“My name is not Byul!” I laughed as then I want to walk to the wardrobe hanger with Taemin stick to me like a glue, holding my arm. But when I get up, Minho blocked my way.

“Yes, Minho?” I asked him.

“Can we talk for a second?” He said it and im sure Lee Oppa that stood nearby can hear it.

I frowned, but then Minho said, “About my wardrobe for photoshoot with Akira Hyung.”

What wardrobe?

Taemin looked at me and Minho in puzzled, but then I nodded to Minho, “Sure, wait a sec.” After I went to the wardrobe hanger, I turned to Taemin and handled the set of clothes with his name on it, “Baby, this one is yours, I will be back with the accessory. Go get change first, okay?”

He nodded but still staring at me and his hyung, somehow with a worried face as I can see his eyes stole a glance at the managers. I try to ignore it and then Im leaving with Minho, walking outside the room.

--

Why here? I bet this is not about-

“Do you need clothes for the photoshoot?” I asked him as I followed him to the rooftop garden, “We can talk about it later now you have to prepare for the event.”

“I will talk to Manager Hyung.” He said. I sighed. Of course this is not about Akira’s photoshoot. Eh, wait..

“Talk about what?”

“Talk about us. I mean, im sure he will understand. Hyung is a good person, and he can help us whenever things get beyond our control.”

I frowned, “But.. why? I thought you don’t want to open up about us to protect-“

“I did, and this is not about telling everyone, it’s just to tell him, he’s the only one we can run for help. Look at what happened to Jonghyun Hyung, the management was furious but at least he still can make it. I believe that it’s because Hyung helped him.”

“It’s not necessary, really.” I said, slowly.

“Not- why did you think like that? Look, I know that this is not an option, but the sooner we be honest with him the better.”

“Yes, but let’s not talk about it right now okay, your schedule is so packed for this week and look to the mirror, without make-up you look deadly tired-

“Talking doesn’t require a lot of effort-“

I sighed again, “Minho, I said it’s not necessary.” This is it. I should tell him right now. “Manager Oppa already knows. I told him.”

He paused. I lifted my head to look at him.

“When?” I almost cant hear him.

“Yesterday.” I actually was kind of afraid, because now he knew, I even didn’t tell him about this in advance.

“You.. Noona, but why didn’t you talk to me first?” see, I was right. Well, anyone will think the same if they were Minho.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I open my eyes and want to answer, but he speaks first, “You cant tell me the same reason you gave me when it comes to Cho Hee or Saem. Because Manager Hyung is not your manager.” His tone is sarcastic, not really something I usually hear from him.

“I know.” I said weakly, but then I raise my tone, “And I planned to tell you about it, today!”

He looked at me, and then he asked,”Actually, what do you think of me? Do I look like someone invisible? You cant even let me to involve in everything you do, fine, if you wont let me help you to decide over something important to you, fine. But this is our relationship. You, and me, we should stand in this together. Anything related to this, it’s not just you who have the rights or the obligation to decide or do. But the way you treat me, kept making me feel like im not in this with you. So now tell me, where’s exactly I should be, Noona? I WILL listen to you.”

“Minho..”

He sighed, “You know, every time you called my name that way, I begin to feel like im your child.”

Then I stopped.

“Im so sorry, I don’t know how many times I should apologize. But this is who I am. I.. I just want to make things easier for you, for us.”

“How about making me feel wanted? Or useful as a person? As your significant other?”

I held his hand, “For God’s sake, I do need you, Minho! When do I ever said I don’t want you??”

“And im the one who supposed to be angry right now, not you, Noona.” He’s still using the same tone.

“Alright, alright.” I tried to calm him down.

“Now you really have to tell me everything. Don’t try to leave anything behind, or Im the one who will leave. I mean it, Noona.”

I shook my head. Please don’t. Im doing all of this to keep us to be together so don’t leave.

So I told him everything I said to Manager Oppa. And then I also told him about what exactly happen to my proposal.

“Really, Noona. You’re hiding it all from me again.” He seems really shock, “I cant understand. Even if you told me that it’s something related to your job, and doesn’t have to do with me, I don’t understand. I always want to tell you everything, but why did you exactly the opposite?”

“It’s not like that, I just don’t want you to be bothered by something that can make you lost your focus, you cant afford on looking sad or disturbed whenever you work, in every situation and every condition. As the terms I said to Manager Oppa, I can do it for your sake, for our sake, that’s why I need to do this. I hate to treat you as if you don’t have a feeling but this is what it takes!”

We’re so close to shouting at each other as he glared on me.

“Why now you’re blaming everything on me, saying you did all of this only for my sake?” He pointed out.

“I didn’t blame you, Minho, please.” I said.

“But you make it sound like that.” He replied as he folded his hands.

I sighed. I felt really tired. “Minho, please.. just.. just forget all of this. At least now Manager Oppa knows, and as long as we can keep it low from the rest, we’re fine.”

“Now what’s left is just how to make me sure that you’re not gonna hide anything from me, or deciding everything by your own.” He said, “And im not sure I can trust you on this.”

“You didn’t trust me anymore?” I almost cant believe what he just said.

“I trust you about anything else, wholeheartedly. Only about this, I dont.” He shifted his stare from me.

I just stood there dumbfoundly. He’s staring at me again, I can see it with the corner of my eyes and then I said to him, “I dont know how to make you change your mind..”

He seems to think about something, and then he said, “Just let me help you to settled things up with your Boss. That’s the least I can do.”

I lifted my head, and shook my head. Im sure there’s a fear coming from my eyes, because he said, “At least let me try.”

“He wont change his decision, Minho. Our relationship is not the point, he disappointed in me, that’s the real reason.” I said firmly, “What will you do?”

“Then let me apologize on your behalf.” He said, and before I can say anything more, “This is something I never done before, so please can you just appreciate it?”

I stood there when he took his phone off the pocket and walk away from me.

I know that he’s calling my Boss, because at first I can hear him apologize on being rude talking on the phone instead of coming to see him but since it’s something urgent, he wants to talk immediately. But then he walked even further, I can’t hear what he said anymore.

I decided not to look at him, because a part of me was so sure, he couldn’t do anything much. A part of me was so sure, it’s just going to break his heart even more, knowing that he couldn’t change the decision that has been made. And a part of me hates the fact that there’s a high possibility that I will say ‘I told you so’ to him.

I feel the breeze and I tied up my long hair. Then I took the cigarette pack from my pocket and take out one. But suddenly I don’t feel like it. I put it back and just staring at the scenery in front of me.

Waiting for Minho to come back, with whatever answer from my Boss, I'm just leaning to the railing. Counting the bright lights that began to appeared one by one because it's getting dark, I hummed the boys' song that was sang by Taemin for the solo performance.

The song has this mysteriousness and somehow always sounds sad to me.

[..From thoughts of you, I yell inside myself, “I like you.. The echoes answer back “No way”. Without you, my feelings are down-]

I stopped singing as I felt someone standing nearby.

When I turned my head, Minho wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"You were right." He hung his head and rested to my shoulder.

I turned around and gave him a big hug, "Only this time." Yes, because it's true Minho, usually you're always right. And it's ironic, I was right in the only time I really hope that I was wrong.

From the tense of his body I can tell that he's angry. So my Boss giving him nothing for an answer, not that I haven't expected this to happen.

But I know, Minho must wanting to help me so much he was breaking down like this. His breathing a bit uneven like he's trying to hold his emotion.

"It's okay.. My dream can wait. I can work harder with you and my boys." I said to him.

Rubbing his back to calm him down, I whisper to him, "Thank you."

"What for?" He asked with his broken voice.

"I don't know, I just want to thank you." I smiled as he tighten his embrace. It broke my heart to see him like this, so then I kissed his cheek and say, "Thank you, because I don't think I could be this far if it's not for you."

"You.. Chose to be with me, right?" He murmured on my skin, "You're not regretted it."

"Yes.." I answered his statement, that somehow sounds a little bit ambigous for me.

"So don't think that I would let you go so easily. I know that I said to you I will lose to your dream, but no, I want to be selfish forjust once. Noona, You'll always have to be with me. I don't care if I'm useless to you, I don't care if you want to be anything, just.. Just be within my reach." He buried his face to my shoulder and held me so tight I can barely breath. He's like a long lost child who finally finds a shelter.

I always felt like my heart was clutched whenever he’s trying to be honest with me. I don’t know why. Maybe because I felt guilty I cant be like that easily to him even though I really want to. It’s like.. I let him believe and even carved it on his mind also his heart that he loves me more than I love him.

But no. That’s not true.

.. Minho?
I promise.
I won't go anywhere.

For now.

Well.
I hope for a long time.

--

I was standing at the kitchen, making ramen this morning when I heard Minho talked to someone on the phone. At first I don't really concern, until I saw him stood still and taking a glance at me.

"Yes.. I know." He replied to the one he's talking to, "Sure. I'll tell her."

I smiled at him, he’s smiling back but then his stare shifted to somewhere else, like he’s avoiding my stare, he continued even though I barely can hear him, "Of course, mother. I will ask her nicely."

Frowning to myself, I sipped my coffee. He's talking to his mother.

"Okay. Love you too." Minho ended the conversation and took the phone off his ear, then put it in his jeans pocket. He walks casually towards me, but I know, he had something in mind.

I pretend to know nothing as he gives me a peck on the lips, "Morning. Whoa, ramen?"

"For you." I replied.

"Thanks, Noona." He smiled as he opens the lid and takes a chopstick to stir the ramen. I just stood there beside him, waiting for him to say something.

He put the lid down again, and he turned his head to face me.

"Hm?" I smiled, innocently.

"My mother called." He informed me, unnecessary, though. As if he can read my mind, he said, “Manager Hyung must’ve told her something.”

I nodded slowly, ".. Why?" Did she find out about me? But all I can say is, "What did she say?"

"She um.. She told me to ask my girlfriend nicely, wondering whether the young lady wouldnt mind if I take my mother to meet her."

Although I've expected this, but turn out that I'm still kind of surprise because my eyes got bigger eventually. Maybe because of the uneasy feeling I felt after I heard that over-polite words coming from his mother. Somehow it sounds.. terrifying.

"And what did you say?" I asked him.

"I said I will ask you. And no, I don’t think that she already knew about the identity of my girlfriend."

".. Okay."

"She just said that.. She wants to meet the girl that her son cares about so much."

And sure, Manager Oppa works fast.

"Did you think.. Manager Oppa is the one who made her wants to meet me?” I asked him.

He looked at me and then he put his hand on my shoulder, “Well, there’s only one way to finds out.” As I may seem so nervous by the thought of meeting his mother soon, he smiled, “Don’t worry, like I always told you, im sure she will likes you because I know she always trust my taste on women.”

I snorted, “Yeah, like you ever told her before about any women.”

“Well she knew I adore her.”

“You mother-complex dork!” I playfully smack his forehead, and he’s laughing while making face.

“No, trust me, she might be surprised for a while to know that turns out you’re one familiar face, but later she’ll be fine.” ah, right, I wonder if the lady would feel like her son and I was hiding the truth from her since I was introduced to her a couple of months ago.

I mumbled, “I was more worried whether I will be fine.” And so Minho with his way, and my weakness to his tenderness, he kisses my worries away by saying, “Say my name 3 times whenever you’re panic or unconfident about something and I promise you will be perfectly fine, Noona.”

“Why?” I chuckled to his smile. I swear he looks damn hungry to me because now he’s biting the chopstick on his hand like a naughty little boy.

But aside that fact, the answer he gave me made me realize I tend to forgot that I’m dating the cheesiest who’s somehow obsessed with pretty words, sweetest guy slash idol in the nation ever.

Minho chuckled and flicking my forehead playfully before replacing it with a kiss, “Because.. well, aside from your parents of course, that’s the name of someone who have a biggest faith in you in this whole wide world, silly.”

*************************************************************************************
 

heeeyy~~ im back with the newest update!

sooo.. now Noona finally can be honest with Minho. and she will meet his mother soon!! XDDD

what will happen?

and on the next chapter i will give you a bit more of Key's story :D

Jjong will appear too, he didnt in this chapter X|

THANK YOU for all the comments and support!! it meant a lot for me and the story :) :) :)

z.