Language/abbreviation

Idk: I don’t know
Wth: What the hell
LOL: Laugh out loud
ROFL: Rolling on the floor laughing
Kekeke: Laughing expression in Korean, i.e.: Hahaha, Hehehe
Seon-saeng-nim: Teacher or someone with the same respectable level

***************************************************************************

For two days I intentionally ignored my handsome Minho.
Why?
Taeminnie asked that too.
It’s because I feel frustrated in a way that I'm being close to Minho but seems so far.
I’d rather being distant because If I stay close with this insecurity feeling I’m afraid suddenly I could just grab his hand or something out of the blue.

Call me crazy, but it maybe also because the crazy schedule that makes the boys –me too, as I went along with them, went work until dawn every day until next week.

And because we met every day, it’s actually so easy for him to detect that I acted weird towards him.

Minho’s stare has changed only by a day. From his usual smile that he does every time he looks at me to a frown which makes me think that he studied what happen to me.

And it’s usually leads to another misunderstanding. In example, this is what happened yesterday.

Buzzz.

ChoiMH: Noona, stop looking like that and tell me. I know something’s bothering you

Yesterday, he sent me something through the message application on our cell phone that has the same type.

chARMEDLife: ? I'm fine, Minho. If anything, then it’s just because I’m tired

I put my phone inside the pocket.

Buzzz. It vibrated again.
I looked at him, who’s sitting on the sofa with a magazine at that time. Now all of the boys are gathering in the same TV station, but will appear in a different show. Taemin with Onew is filming for one game show, while the 3 others stick together for another.

I took my phone again; thank God I didn’t see Manager Oppa around here or he will scold at me.

ChoiMH: I'm annoyed because of you being like that and we have to talk through something like this

chARMEDLife: If you’re annoyed then don’t look

ChoiMH: What??
ChoiMH: If you’re mad about something, tell me. But don’t throw it to me

Why, Minho? Why are you so confident like this?
What if I told you one of many things that made me upset are you, huh?
Sigh. I seriously don’t want to talk about this right now.
Not now.

chARMEDLife: Fine
chARMEDLife: Now can you stop sending me this? Can’t you see what I'm doing right now?

I was trying to put a pin on Jjong’s vest, but I was unfocused I can’t do it in a right way and it makes me more frustrated.

“Hey, I can ask Eun Noona to help with this.” JJong said to me. He’s staring at me, who am busy with my phone.

I shook my head to him but-Buzzz.

At the same time there’s another message coming from Minho, again.

ChoiMH: Is that Jung guy tries to bother you?

UGHH. I just put my phone back into my pocket.

That was yesterday. Yeah, after I ignored his messages, he’s still trying to talk with me right before we left the TV station at 5 AM in this morning.

“I'm so sleepy, Noona.” He yawned, following Kibum in front of us, while walking to their van.

Me? I will take bus.

“Though you’re really tired, just don’t forget to stretch out your leg and do whatever the therapist says to you.” I pointed out.

We started talk normally as then he’s smiling.

I smiled too, “What?”

“Even though you’re mad because of something that I didn’t know, but you still care about me.”

And maybe, because I was so tired too, I suddenly feel annoyed.

“Of course, I still do care, even when I’m mad at you, you know.”

He frowned as he stops, “So... the one that makes you upset, is me?”

Tsk. I don’t know.

“No.” I shook my head and saw Manager Oppa walked closer to us, “Just get into the van, he’s coming.”

Minho said in a serious tone, “Don’t turn off your phone. We really need to talk, Noona.”

Then as I was in the bus,

Buzzz.

ChoiMH: What did I do wrong this time?

chARMEDLife: Nothing. I said ‘if’ earlier. IF

ChoiMH: You know you always true to your words
ChoiMH: If this is about L.A, I told you, it cannot be help since it’s because of your side project
ChoiMH: We still have Shanghai, anyway

chARMEDLife: Manager Oppa has answered me
chARMEDLife: I'm leaving to L.A too

ChoiMH: Really??
ChoiMH: Why don’t you tell me?

Like I will tell you in front of everyone, Minho.

ChoiMH: But how Seon-saeng-nim reacts to that?

chARMEDLife: Idk. Manager Oppa told me at 3 o’clock in the morning, so I haven’t told him yet

ChoiMH: So at least one down. What else bothering your mind?
ChoiMH: Jagiya

I sighed as I look out through the window.

The thing is, now I felt that if I lose this opportunity with my Boss and his partner, I will not going to participate in the project.

Don’t get me wrong, I always try to do my job with Shinee as it’s my responsibility, but this side job, create many chances for me in the future. So I hang my hope high on this one.

I can’t say that to Minho in some ways. It will makes me sounds like I’m abandoning something that always been my first priority even before this new side project came; Shinee. And I don’t want him to think I’m that kind of person.

Buzzz.

ChoiMH: Are you sleeping in the bus right now??
ChoiMH: Yaa! Don’t sleep! You’re alone in the bus in this kind of hour and you fell asleep?? Wake up!

BZZZZZZT.

And he even sent me a nudge.

I sighed. This kid- really.

chARMEDLife: Relax, bus are safe. Try to ride on it then

I know that I’m being cynic, of course he rarely take bus these days because it will cause a small chaos. But it doesn’t mean he never took a bus before

ChoiMH: Our Noona is back. Thank God

No, thanks to you, who doesnt realize my cynical response.

chARMEDLife: Why don’t you try to get some sleep in the car? You know you have schedule at 10.

ChoiMH: But you even have to be there earlier. Don’t faint like what happened that day, okay?
ChoiMH: You can act strange
ChoiMH: You can annoyed me
ChoiMH: Just don’t give me a heart attack like that again

I can’t help but smile.
See what you did to me, Minho?
Now even I forget about Lizzy and stuffs that makes me feel insecure.

Sigh. But now the issue came back in my mind.
No. I can’t talk about this, not now.

At least with message like this, Minho couldn’t tell my feelings because he can’t hear my voice or see my expression.

So then I just act normal and send him a reply,

chARMEDLife: Yes, Appa

ChoiMH: Well, Oppa would’ve been better
ChoiMH: But Appa is nice too suddenly I miss Yoogeunnie

chARMEDLife: Seriously I never met a 20 year old who’s so fatherly

ChoiMH: KEKEKEKE and I’m proud with that

chARMEDLife: Exactly
chARMEDLife: I'm not dating 35 years old with a 4 years old son, right?

ChoiMH: Last time I checked, I'm still 20
ChoiMH   : But yeah, Yoogeun will turn 4 soon

chARMEDLife: kekeke
chARMEDLife: You make me look crazy laughing by myself in an empty bus

ChoiMH: While I have to hold my laugh and pretend I was sleeping on the backseat

chARMEDLife: Just sleep then
chARMEDLife: Besides, I have to get out from the bus soon I can see my apartment right now

ChoiMH: Okay then be careful
ChoiMH: Don’t get trip
ChoiMH: :*

chARMEDLife: Tripped? Who am I, Onew?

ChoiMH: …… And I just thought I send that icon to Onew Hyung, wth
ChoiMH: Thanks for messing up with my mind, Jagiya

chARMEDLife: ROFL

ChoiMH: It will be great if I can get a morning kiss when we meet later

chARMEDLife: Well I have to think about it first
chARMEDLife:

ChoiMH: Cruel girlfriend

chARMEDLife: Oh, okay if no one’s around

ChoiMH: I'm sure I can find the place

chARMEDLife: Stop your mind and just get to sleep
chARMEDLife: I have to get out from the bus n has to walk now
chARMEDLife: :*

ChoiMH: You made me think about stuffs and then left, tsk
ChoiMH: Okay be careful, Noona
ChoiMH: At least tell me if you’re home safely

chARMEDLife: OK

--

I did reply, telling him that I got home safely but he didn’t answer maybe because he’s asleep.

I just slept for about 2 hours, because I have to get ready and be on the set at 9. Today the boys have another photo shoot, then a rehearsal, after that they have to attend to an off-air event.

It’s a long day and I thought after that talking through message session, maybe I can be less awkward for Minho, but turns out it’s not.

Why? It’s because once again, Lizzy’s name get brought up.
And as if it hasn’t bad enough, when I said to my Boss about Manager Oppa’s decision, his reaction was pretty much the same as I thought.

I called him first thing in the morning on my way to the set.

“Manager said that I have to be there, at least for L.A. After that, Shanghai I might be able to skip.” I told him, and from my tone I'm sure that he knows I was disappointed.

“It’s too bad… Because this is a great opportunity.”

See? So it almost official that my name will be off from the list.

“Yes...” I swear I just let a sigh slipped out although this is my Boss im talking to with.

“Well, you know your first priority and Shinee it is. You also know I put you into the job with some reasons, right?” He explained, as then he said, “Don’t worry, I may still ask you to come by if I need some idea.”

It might sounds good coming from your boss, but coming from mine, it’s just another word that has a meaning; I'm just going to assist as usual, but not going to be involved fully into the project.

Why? Why the schedule is has to be happen when I finally get the chance to do something this great?

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” I try to convince myself too, by smiling, even though my Boss couldn’t see me.

And as I arrived on the set, the boys haven’t got there, of course, so I was talking to the shoot art director for today, then when I went back to the dressing room, what I got is the makeup artist was gossiping around with some staff about none other than Lizzy’s ‘admiration’.

Eun-ah was there, and she looked at me, but I tried to ignore her pretend that I didn’t realize it.

To be honest, I can handle the fact that there’s someone adores my boyfriend as long as he just act normal and be modest about it –and so far Minho is just like that, minus ‘the smile’ I caught from him and it makes me a bit nuts. But I'm trying to understand that maybe as a normal guy he just feels overwhelmed because there’s a pretty girl like Lizzy adoring him.

Yesterday, I might’ve been bother by that issue, but one that upsets me so much right now is about im losing the project.

I don’t blame the Manager, since it’s his right to do that as my ‘Boss’ in my job as Shinee’s Coordi Noona. And of course, I don’t blame Minho too, to feel rather so happy because now I’m going to L.A with him and everyone. I’m excited about the idea, too, you know. It’s just… It’s too bad I have to lose something great to be able to get one other thing.

You win some, you lose some.
I know, I understand.
But sometimes, no, most of the time, feelings doesn’t come together with what you called logic mind, right?

I need to talk to someone about this. And it’s supposed to be Minho.
But how can I tell him about this, when all he did is just grinning and keep beaming all day long by a reason that came across with something really depressed me?

So yes, I’m still ignoring him today, but it’s because of a slightly different reason and also different reaction coming from Minho too.

Thanks to our silly message session, he seems to think that we’re good. And he might just too happy to be able to read that my expression is slightly disturbed. But then again, I prefer to see the one I'm with is happy than to get the negative vibes coming from myself. So I let him be.

And today is too busy to be wasted just by dazing and thinking about those troubles, actually. I kept trying to focus on what I have to do, and following the boys’ schedule.

Between the times, as I heard Lizzy’s name arise, I just try to brush it off. I wonder why these hair and makeup artist kept bringing that up, even in front of the Manager and his assistant.

The boys, especially Kibum, try to steal a glance at me. Minho, on the other hand, just laughs it off after he sends me a short message.

“I'm glad to know that you’re not interested on rumors.”

Yeah, Minho, you’re right. I don’t.

It’s just that, I can’t keep my mind off from the image of your smile you smiled to Lizzy on the other day.
Pretty crazy, huh?

“Noona, you know you should say something to him if you feel bothered by that.” Taeminnie whispered to me as he’s sitting with me while waiting for the next filming. It’s just the two of us, sitting on the floor beside a vending machine in the end of an empty corridor.

We’re just too thirsty so we got here.

“Huh?” I asked him.

“Kibum Hyung felt a bit guilty because it’s like he’s the one started the rumor so now everybody –the staffs- kept mention it, just to tease Minho Hyung.”

I laugh, “He shouldn’t feel that way. Besides, if Lizzy does like Minho, then no one can change it, right?”

“But Minho Hyung, he should-ah, I don’t know. All I know is that if I have a girlfriend, I want her to know that I won’t see any other girl, no matter how y or cute they are.”

Baby is just too cute, so I messed up with his hair, but then quickly fix it as I realized he has to be on the set in a while.

“Well, sometimes reality is not like what we wish to be.” I said, as then whispered to him, “But I'm pretty sure that Minho already makes that sure for me.”

Then Baby looked at me and said, “So tell me, Noona, why are you looking like this every time there’s a ‘Lizzy’ mentioned around here? I don’t understand why Minho Hyung could be that dense today.”

Well, Taemin doesn’t know the whole story –about L.A con, Minho’s reactions, and everything, so I just gave him a smile.

“Maybe I just feel a bit jealous,” I showed him my finger, “juuuust a little. Lizzy is cute, she’s younger but taller than me. Minho is really lucky.” I laugh it out.

“So… It’s true about you and Minho.”

Taemin and I looked to the same direction as we heard a voice.

Kyuhyun is standing in front of the vending machine as he’s going to put in some pennies.

“Shoot.” I said as Taemin gets up and bow slightly, “Annyeong, Hyung.”

“Annyeong.” Kyu smiled as usual and then he just pushes the button and waits for the bottle of drink to come out.

As I thought. He knew all of this time, since that day we’re on the first aid room.

Taemin looked at me all worried, but then I just shook my head and mouthed, ‘it’s okay.’

“Kyu..?” I called him.

“Yes?” He looked at me with his normal expression.

“Thanks.” I just said it.

He frowned as he drinks the mineral water then he said, “Thanks?”

“Well, it seems that you knew all along, but didn’t say anything, even to me.” I joked a bit.

Then he said, “Ah. That. Well, it could be an interesting story to pass by, but no, we 88ers have ethics. And besides, Minho is the member of Kyu-line so I supposed to hold any of his secret too.”

I swear I feel like hugging Kyuhyun if I could, but of course not, I’m just grinning at him and then I said again, “Well, still... I feel like I have to thank you.”

“Then... You’re welcome.” He showed his thumb.

“.. Do you want something else to drink, other than just a mineral water?” I patted the vending machine as he choked a bit because he’s laughing.

He pointed at me but talking to Taemin, “Does she always shows gratitude by buying drinks from vending machine?”

Baby shook his head, “She often buys me an ice-cream.”

“Well, that’s a problem. Though I'm a Maknae too, but I'm not as cute as Shinee’s.” Kyu joked, and then he said, “I'm fine with this right now,” He showed his drink, “But if I feel like drinking anything, I will drag you to the nearest vending machine. Just remember that.”

I laughed as then he waved his hand to us before he turns around and walks to some dressing room at the other end of the corridor.

“It’s great, isn’t it, Noona?” Taemin said to me so I turn to him and nod, “You look so happy you have to tell Hyung about this.”

“Of course I will!” I laugh and feel like this is the only thing that can make me really smile recently.

Taemin walked behind me as he puts both hands on my shoulder as if we’re playing ride-a-train like a child, but I stopped because my phone is ringing.

“Go first, Baby, I have a phone call.” I said to Taemin as he nods and walk to the dressing room.

“Hello? JiHyun-ah?”

“Whyyy? I heard from Seon-saeng-nim that you can’t go with us to the fashion show... Cant Shinee’s Manager gives you permission on this one? This is for your future!” JiHyun is not someone who gets upset so easily, but she sounds really disappointed.

I laugh, but not very convincing though, “Exactly, it’s my future, but that’s not what he’s concern. What he should concern is the group, right? Besides, I have to consider about my future being Shinee’s Coordi too. He might go to replace me if I bailed out so often.”

JiHyun sighed then say, “So tell me, are you really okay with this?”

“Well, Seon-saeng-nim said I still going to help-“

“You know what it really means. Aissh... Actually how important this fashion show that we have to attend to get into the project? Ah! Do you want me to talk to Seon-saeng-nim? I mean, you can meet his partner right after you get back from L.A, right?”

I shook my head although she couldn’t see it, “Thanks, but no thanks, JiHyunnie. Whatever my position in this upcoming project, it’s his decision, not mine.”

She said, “Really, it bothers me, you know. At least, this is a chance for us as new designers.”

“Yeah...” I agreed.

“I don’t want to stay like this for the next 5 years. I mean, do we want to be a Coordi Noona forever? Well, I know our position has a privilege, thanks to Seon-saeng-nim as our main boss, but... you know what I mean...”

I just stood there. Yes, she’s right. There would be a day where I reach decision to pursue my dream and my further career. I used to have this target and it certainly not even have to wait until 5 years.

Somehow, my packed schedule and busy days makes me forget about all of that.

“Remember when he pointed you to work with your boys’ management? I was so envy because he pointed you first, and it means, you will fill the time target we used to have back then-“

Suddenly I have this urged to talk to the Manager, so then I just say to JiHyun, “hey, I-I’m sorry but I have to hang up right now.”

“oh-okay. Bye.” She said as I just closed my phone and I ran to the dressing room.

“Oppa-“ I tried to find the Manager, he’s sitting on the corner, but suddenly Onew appears in front of me with a vest on his hand.

“Noona, look, now I can close all the buttons when I’m wear this vest!”

“H-huh?” I try to focus on him but my eyes still fix to Manager Oppa because I really want to talk to him.

Minho shouted from the sofa he’s sitting in, “Onew Hyung finally loses his weight!”

The rest of the boys are laughing but Onew doesn’t seem like he’s being the joke now, because he just acts like he’s so glad and wiped his tears of joy with the back on his arm.

I looked at him, and then can’t help but smile. “Really? Put it on, I want to see.”

He wears it over the grey top he’s wearing and then closed all the buttons, “See? SEE? Now you don’t have to find another size for me, I can wear what Minho wears too! Ah, really. I feel happy about this.”

I nodded, “Thanks, Onew.”

Then he stops laughing, “Me? Why are you thanked me?”

To hear that, I shook my head, “Nothing.” then I just patted his shoulder. It’s just that, suddenly I remember my Boss said to me, that he chose me to be in this job is for a reason.

Well, maybe I can’t be on this new project, but it doesn’t mean there’s no other one in the future. I might not going to be Coordi Noona forever, and one day I’m not going to work with these 5 boys anymore, but at least for now, no matter the circumstances, this is my job.

They’re working so hard –and never complaint, because they love their job and always want to give the best for their beloved fans. You can feel it by seeing what just Onew accomplished. They even don’t want to disappoint as they want to appear as the best they can, and to fulfill this, I play one important part too.

I don’t know whether the fans always likes the clothes my Boss and I provide for the boys, but as their image is to be one contemporary band, so we make sure that they will going to look as the best contemporary band they can be.

Their dream is to be the best and one of a kind; and my job is as one part that supported their goal and dreams. Slowly, I think it became my goal too. Besides, what makes a designer happier than to see the concept can reach the heart of the viewers?

--

chARMEDLife: Still awake?

It’s almost 4 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I guess the boys are already at their dorm as the schedule finished about an hour ago.

I just sent an instant message to Minho through the application on my phone. He doesn’t reply at first, but then about 10 minutes later, he sent me one.

ChoiMH: I can’t sleep because I drink too much coffee to make me awake for the filming earlier
ChoiMh: You too?

I actually decide that I will tell him about how I feel; both about the project and also about Lizzy. I know that I can’t continue like this because I’ve decided to be with him. I have to learn to share my feelings too, and not going to keep him under the dark, not knowing about my thoughts. Even Taemin knew about it. Minho has more rights to now.

I honestly don’t want him to feel bad, although I feel... he would. But it’s inevitable. I think I just need to convince him that what I want to tell him is not going to affect our relationship –both as colleague or as a couple, because I just want to share with him, regarding how much I treasured him as a boyfriend.

Besides, the thing about Lizzy, I kind of feel guilty because it seems that I questioned Minho’s feeling. The smile I caught that day, it maybe means nothing, right? I might just too tired so I was overly sensitive. Besides, Minho never even response to the tease he got from the staffs about Lizzy.

chARMEDLife: Don’t you feel like jogging in the morning?

Stupid. Why did I have to write it down like that? I bet he’s either confused or thinking that I want him to come by, it’s like a booty call or something.

ChoiMH: kekekeke
ChoiMH: Jagiya, miss me already huh?

chARMEDLife: Forget it

ChoiMH: Sometimes you really as witty as Yoogeunnie
ChoiMH: “forget it”
ChoiMH: Wait a sec I’ll call you

I read it as then I just wait for his phone call. And not long after that,

“Sorry, I walked to the balcony first. I don’t want to bother Jonghyun Hyung.” He explained even without saying hello first. Yes, of course he needs to do that, he shares bedroom with the vocal leader.

“Morning schedule start at 10, are you okay if you lack of sleeping?” I asked right away. Me too, right now I'm standing on my apartment balcony as I smoked a cigarette.

He laughs, “You really ignoring me this whole day weren’t you? I slept between schedules.”

He knew? And how can I don’t realize it?

“You-“I said in a smaller voice, “knew I was being like that…”

“Of course I knew. All of the members knows it, how can I, as the closest one to you, not know it? You went around without talking to me and somehow to Kibum too and just stick to Taemin like that.” He chuckled.

“But why did you not asking me?”

“I did yesterday, right? As I remember, you haven’t told me your reason. And I’m not mistaken too, I said to you that you can act strange as long you’re doing well and not get sick, so.. Though I noticed you seemed a bit disturb, I kept my promise and won’t be noisy around you. That way, I hope you will tell me when you feel the time is right.”

You know I'm not the type when I can cry only because I feel too happy, but now… I feel mixed up between so happy, but also guilty and upset too. Happy because I just realized that Minho is way more I can ask for from someone, guilty because I just treated him badly and might be hurt him in any way, and also upset to myself because of that.

But how can this be? It’s like he can understand me very well. And this is happening when I actually want to tell him about everything.

Are you sure you’re not a psychic, Minho?

I stood there in silence so then he said, “Noona..? Did you just fall asleep?”

“H-huh? No, no.” I answered him.

“Ah, so you must be thinking about me then.”

“What??” I exclaimed as he laughs, “I swear my right ear was just like… ringing because of your loud voice.”

I chuckled, but then I apologize, “I'm sorry…”

“Naah… I already turn the phone to my left ear now.”

“It’s not that, silly! I mean, sorry for being like that today.”

He paused but then he said, “You’re already forgiven.”

“Are you really can read my mind?” I just blurted out and it makes him laugh again.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, actually I just want to tell you about what’s bothering my mind and… It’s like you’re being quiet although you knew that this is going to happen sooner or later.” I shrugged.

He said, “Hm… Like I told you, I grew up to be a listener first and you’re also like me, we’re the type that will talk to someone we feels comfortable with and will do that when you feel like it. And as I'm your boyfriend, I think you thought me as someone you’re trusted so you will tell me. Am I right?”

“Yes.” I replied it shortly but it convey the meaning truthfully. “But how can you trust me that much?”

“Because… If I trust someone it means I trusted them whole-heartedly?”

“You really deserve someone who can make you at ease, you know. Your restless life already killing you.” I just said it out of the feeling guilty because I might be a weight in his mind through the day.

He laughs, “That’s why I already chose someone that I can always keep close whenever I go so it makes the restless life feels way even better now.”

“Shoot. You’re too good with words.”

“Yeah?”

“Although you didn’t need it, those pair of eyes is enough to make those girls coveted you.”

“Including you?”

“… I think so.”

After that he laughs heartily, “You admitted it.”

I scoffed, “Anyone would agree with me about that one.”

As his laughter began to stops he said, “Ah, really… Now I don’t feel sleepy at all.”

There’s a silence between us before I said to him, “Wouldn’t it be great if I can see you when we laugh like this?” I let a sigh slips through my lips.

“hm?”

“I mean... we spent days working together, but when we talk, we often used message or phone. It feels devastating, isn’t it?” But then I just laugh, “Tsk, what am I talking about, why suddenly I turn the atmosphere down? I-“

“Jagiya, I think I have to go now.” He cut my words in sudden.

“Oh, okay then.”

But he said, “Wait there.”

“Huh? What?”

He already closed his phone.

--

20 minutes later, I was just tossed and turn on my bed as my phone is ringing.

“Noona.”

“Hey, I tried to call you but you didn’t answer-“I said to Minho.

“Come out.” He said.

“What? Where?”

“… 8,9,10... Your balcony is the one on the left, right?” He seems to count.

I walked out from the room and then straight to the balcony. I looked down and there he is. Waving his hand at me.

“Are you craz- Just go inside before someone sees you!” I said to him as I'm still talking to him by phone while I saw him standing on the apartment yard.

“It’s still 5 o’clock, there’s no one in here.” I hear his voice over the phone. “Why don’t you come down here? The air feels so fresh.”

I looked at him he’s wearing his jogging pants and a sleeveless sweatshirt. It’s not that chill because it’s summer right now but he pulled the hood over his head, maybe to prevent someone to recognize him if he met them by chance on his way here.

I sighed, “Fine.” I walked inside and just grabbed a sweater that lies on the sofa. “Why didn’t you tell me you will come here?”

I walked into the elevator as he answered, “Like I always tell you first when I want to visit, huh?”

Well, he got the point. I just said, “I wonder if there’s a signal inside the elevator.”

“The phone line is okay.” He just answers although it’s a little unnecessary. As we’re still on the line, he added, “I hope I’m not wake you up, I just realized it by now.” He laughs.

“Nah… I can’t sleep.” I said, “Actually, like I said before. I do want to tell you about something.”

“I know that.” He said, “Although even until now, you haven’t said a word about it.”

I laugh, “So that’s why you’re coming here?”

As the elevator door opened, I walk to the front door and I saw him standing near the pillar.

“Well, it’s the first time you ever ask me to come because you want to see me, so…” He said it through the phone, but I can hear his own voice as I also can see he’s shrugged.

Is it?

“Yeah…?”

As he saw me, he closed his phone and grins, “Yep. As I remember, it always me before.”

I closed my phone and just smiling back at him, “There’s always a first time for everything, isn’t it?”

He nodded but suddenly I yawned. I quickly closed my mouth and laugh embarrassedly, “Sorry, I guess I became more sleepy after I passed 20 years old.”

Then he chuckled. “So… what do you want to tell me?”

I frowned, “Why don’t we get inside first?”

“I told you the air is fresh. And didn’t you ask me about doing jogging?” He laughs.

“But I'm not wearing running shoes.” I put both my hands on my waist. I looked down to my pair of sandals.

He looks at me, “Yeah, these aren’t jogging clothes.” I wear a short and sleeveless shirt, as then he asked, “Hey is there any playground around here?”

“Huh??”

“There must be one since there’s a lot of apartment and houses around.”

“But why-“I asked but to see his annoyed face I just pointed out, “There’s one behind that apartment.”

Then he just grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s go, before the sun rises.”

I don’t have any choice than follow him. It’s not that far, but as we walk to the small park, he just said, “Because… I suddenly I feel that feeling again.”

“What?” I looked up to him and he turned his head to see me.

“Yeah, when I was a kid, my father is always busy. And almost every day, I always play soccer or baseball with my Hyung on the playground near my house to wait him comes home. When he got the time, Appa will join us even without change his working clothes first. He would teach us a strategy on his team or something like that.”

I just listened to him as he continued, “During that time, I just feel that… It’s really worth to wait him every day and so I feel at ease in the end. I think I almost feel the same with you right now. I’ve waited patiently and now you finally can say what you feel towards me and it really conveyed.”

With a content smile, I just wrapped my hand on his bare arm and I feel his hand pat my cheek as we walked into the playground.

“I think I should bring a soccer ball next time I go to your place.” He said it the first thing when we stepped into the sandy ground.

I laugh as I get into the swing. He just walk to the bars and said as he patted the yellow colored one, “Why the bar seems so high back then?”

Still laughing I replied, “Silly.”

But he managed somehow and then do pull up as I just watching him while I'm sitting on the swing. He did it 10 times and I kind of amazed, but I by clapping my hands, “Uwaa~~ my child is doing great.”

He chuckled, “Now you’re sound like Kibum.”

“I did not!” I laugh, although yes, Kibum and I talked in the same tone most of the time.

As then he released his grip from the bar and walk to me, “Speaking about Kibum… I think something has been bothering you.”

Lizzy. And of course, he noticed. But I shook my head as I decided for first I want to tell him about KyuHyun… and my project.

“Wait. I have to tell you about one thing first.” I sighed, prepare my word and said, “But I hope you’re not going to mad.”

“This is it.” He said to himself.

“Kyu knows about our relationship.”

As Then Minho’s face changed.

“Ha?”

“Kyuhyunnie-”

Minho laughs even before I said anything, “Yaa, KyuHyun Hyung! How can he tell? Wait- He does too smart sometimes.”

I told him what happened and then Minho nodded after I finished the story.

“Well, I'm not worried. I trusted him.”

“Me too, I actually felt so happy because it seems like I found a good friend in him, but I just... I just hope that this is not going to be a problem.”

He shook his head, “I ensure you, if it’s KyuHyun Hyung, then it’s going to be fine.”

One problem solved and there are 2 things I still need to tell Minho.

“And now... Another thing. But this time I hope you didn’t take this in the wrong way.”

He frowned as he’s standing in front of me, “And what is it?”

“I… I just want to tell you that I'm not going to be in the project with my Boss.” Finally, I said it.

“What, why?”

“Because… the important meeting is when I have to leave for L.A.” I just smiled slightly.

“So... Because you couldn’t attend, Seon-saeng-nim can’t let you to be in-“He stops.

I nodded as I can see his expression dropped. I knew it. So then I said, “But its okay… Look, I don’t have any intention as I told you this. I think I just want to share it with you.”

He looked up to me and said, “I'm sorry I didn’t know that it was really important. Yet I'm so stupid I just feel happy to know you will come to L.A with all of us.”

“See? That’s why I feel hesitated to tell you about this. I see how happy you are, I couldn’t say anything. But aside from our tangled life as colleague workers, you’re also my boyfriend, Choi Minho and I want to talk about what happen with my job or anything happen in my life with you.”

Then he sat down on the swing next to mine and to see his expression, he appreciated what I just say to him, but he still seems bothered, so I continued, “I worked for both my Boss and your Manager. My Boss told me the decision is on your Manager’s hand so this is what’s going to happen. I won’t lie to you, I feel bad. That’s why, please don’t make that kind of face, you will make me sadder.”

“At least I hope I can feel have a fresh air on L.A.” I added a joke as he seems like thinking about something.

“I just wish I can do something about it, but-“Minho looked at me but I cut his word.

“Don’t. I respect my Boss and his decision. So if he changes his mind, it should be because he wants to.”

“Ah, really!” He kicked the sand in front of him.

Some feelings seep through as I look at him like that. I know he hates being like this, frustrated because he can’t do anything no matter how much he wants to. And the thing is I feel sad to see him in this state.

“You know I’m not sharing to you because I want to see you like this.” I turned to see him in the eyes.”Besides, as much as I want to share this to you, this is still my job, a part of my life that I want to do on my own.”

He stared back at me, seems like he got that my pride sometimes hanging too high he couldn’t say anything, even though I know, his intention was just for my own sake, so I said, “Actually, there’s something you can do.”

“what?” He asked.

“Just one hug.” I pointed my index finger as then I feel something pulling me.

I yelped. Minho pulled the chain on my swing so I was pulled closer to him. And then he wrapped his arm around me without saying anything.

I just smiled, “Thanks. I feel so much better right now. But you have to promise that you won’t feel bad or anything. Win some lose some, so it means I win some too, L.A. With you too, as a bonus.”

“Why can’t we win everything? I want to make it happened to the condition so that YOU can win everything.” He said childishly.

I pulled back and laugh as I poke his head slightly, “Yaa, competition freak. How much do you want to win? You already sacrifice one feet do you want to give them both??”

He just pouted his lips in an annoyed look as then I said, “But you should be happy because you’re right again this time.”

“Huh?”

“Although no, I'm not mad at Kibum. I just… stupidly have this... um... well, I have this thought that you might feel excited about the idea of Lizzy has crush on you.”

He frowned while he fixes his stare on me.

“Lizzy likes me?” He pointed at himself.

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t listen to those rumors, right?”

“But I know it’s true when I saw her. We both girls, we know.” I replied although I feel like avoiding his stare. “How can you be so dense?”

“Me, dense- Yaa, to hear that coming from you Noona!” He laughs a bit, “She just said that she notices me when I modeled, that’s all.”

I chuckled, yeah whatever. “But a straight and normal guy would be too stupid if he said he’s not happy to know there’s a younger and adorable girl like Lizzy, notices him.”

“Well, I'm not stupid.” Minho laughs.

“See? Just admit it.” I shoved his arm slightly, “Like I admitted about it earlier.”

“What exactly that you admitted?” He seems like he wanted to make sure.

“That-“I looked at him while him finishing my sentence.

“That you’re actually felt kinda jealous because of her.”

“I- I...” I twitched my lips. Shoot.

He looked at me in awe. “Uwaa. So this how you looks like when you’re jealous.”

“Stop it!” I can’t help but laugh even though I feel embarrassed.

“No, I mean… You told me you don’t get jealous that easily.”

I just get up from the swing and walk to the colorful bar, “But I do tell you I can be… Eventually. Maybe not to someone who you knew from way before you know me, but to someone new, who knows-”

I stopped because I hear his laugh really close to me and when I turned around he just lifted me and put me down on the red bar, the shortest one.

“Ah really!! It’s too much for one day!” He laughs heartily as I sat on the bar and he stood there facing at me. I know what he means. He’s been waiting for me to open up myself to him, and now he gets it.

I laugh along as I put both of my palms on his cheeks, then I rested my forehead on his, “… Maybe, it’s just because I get drawn by the atmosphere of the place?”

He shrugged, “Oh, I don’t even care!” and still laughing.

Then his tone changed into more serious, “But I want you to know about something, Lizzy is just Lizzy, she’s just, like you said, one of many pretty girls in the world I work and lived in.”

I nodded, “Yeah. And I think I owe Kibum an apology because I make him feel bad.”

“Oh, and one thing. I take you here because of one other reason.”

I frowned, “What is it?”

“When did you stop playing on the playground? Grade 4, grade 5?”

“I think around that time. I still love to play swing until middle school. But who doesn’t love to play swing? What is it?” I asked him.

“I know that when I get into high school, you entered colleague. When I entered colleague, you’re already get your first job. And even when we finally in the same world, in one relationship, you still like to mention about you being older and me being the younger kid. You always think that you have to be the one to lead just because you were born first.” He said as he looked around.

“But did you realize, that way before all of that happens, there’s one time when you’re still have your chubby cheeks and play in this kind of playground somewhere, I also already in the same stage as yours? I believe when we’re playing as a kid, we wouldn’t care about age differences. We just play. So I wish every time you want to mention about our age, just remember that there’s no difference. You’re just happened to born almost 4 years before I did, so what? When I'm 30, you’re just 33.”

I looked at him as I think he’s right.

Me, the one who often claims myself as their Noona, in many times even need the boys to make me realized about many things happens in life.

So then I just nodded as I smile and said slowly, “Thanks.”

He nods back at me and answered, “Thanks to you too. For being jealous at me. Ah, doesn’t really take too long to finally happen.”

My eyes grew bigger as he laughs then I exclaimed, “You-!”

He starts to run but somehow I managed to catch him as then we’re laughing under the morning sky.

He said earlier that he wants to keep me close.
But now with my hand held the tip of his shirt, and he pulled me to his arms, suddenly I felt that it’s me who doesn’t want to be apart.

I know that you’re Choi Minho,
But I also know you’re a man of your word, so… You will not let me go that easily, wont you?

**************************************************

im back with another chapter!!!

so.... Noona does leaving for L.A! hahaha sorry to dissappointed you, but well, it doesnt mean there's no drama as the project has been cancelled for Noona, I think there's another continuation after this.

And... KyuHyun knows! i want to know what your opinion and thoughts about that..

then... yes! the next chapter would be.... L.A! :)

Please look forward to it..

more to come from me, lovelovelove

z.