‘Thank you Seo Joohyun’

His words were on replay in my ears.

‘Thank you for the journey…’

He kept saying thank you.

‘…and thank you for letting me be a part of you even for just a short while’

He whispered only gratitude to me.

‘Thank you’

That was his last words to me.

Why must he be so selfless? Can’t he be selfish for once? It was my fault. I must’ve broken his trust with my foul selfish words.

A few days have passed since that night and I couldn’t move on ever since. How could I? The man I care about is hurting and I am far from him. He said he released me from him but I don’t feel like I’m being freed. I am still caged to him. I long to be with him and it was all because of his love and care for me. 

 “Joohyun ah open this God damn door!” I heard Hyoyeon Onnie yelled before my door.  “SEO JOOHYUN” Onnie’s voice broke my reverie once again. “COME OUT THIS INSTANCE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR DOOR”

I would love to see her try but I scooted lazily off my bed anyway. When I opened my door there she was with my uncle and auntie looking all worried. “I am fine you guys…” I said.

“Hell no!” Onnie said barging in immediately. “You are not fencing us out again EVER! I’ve heard everything from Jungshin and if you really didn’t mean what you said then go back to Yonghwa and prove it!”

I was dumbstruck. What Onnie said was right. He was there for me when I needed him and here I am still hoping for him to rescue me from this guilt. “But I’ve said something horrible… I don’t know what to do”

“Sweetie…” my aunt immediately stepped in before Onnie could yell at me again. She sat me down on my dishevelled bed and coaxed me; indeed a polar opposite of my very brash cousin. “He loves you… he needs you the most now”

“How do you know?” I asked and I didn’t realise how timid my voice sounded. I was supressing my tears. “How do you know if he doesn’t hate me for being selfish?”

“Why do you think he didn’t want to break his bad health to you at the first place?” auntie said. “Why do you think he lets you go? I know he cares for you Joohyun. He cares for you so much…”

And in that moment, the memories of the time we have spent together in our little journey and the promise he held that I have forgotten came to me. He looks out to me; years before he tried to find me and by fate we met at the bar where I’ve gotten drunk over my break-up and he offered me a job which in the end leads me to remember who he really is.

I cried because I realised that I’ve broke his heart. “Why am I so selfish?” I cried. “He