As of now, I feel like someone who is being chased and I think I really did jump off the car. Now I’m running towards the receptionist desk, wanting and needing to see him. I think it is clearer now; I need Jung Yonghwa more than he needs me.

 “Jung Yonghwa. Please” I said out of breath.

Right before the nurse could tell me I felt someone grabbing my hand. I jolted only to find out Yonghwa sitting on a wheelchair and his hand is in mine.

“Hey Hyun” he smiled.

It will be a lie if I said that I was calm throughout the whole night because I wasn’t. Even though he texted me I still refuse to believe that he is doing any good. I need to see him myself and now I am. He still doesn’t look good. I cried.

“Hyun… Seohyun…” I heard his voice calling out to me softly. He was tugging me slowly towards him. “Please… Look who's being dramatic now” I heard his soft chuckle.

“I am not being dramatic” I replied still hiding my face from him even though I am already facing him.

“Seo Joohyun… Hyunnie…” he coaxed. I noticed his voice sounded coarser than usual. “People are looking at us yeobo ya…”

“Don’t yeobo me…” I said finally showing my face drenched with tears. Before he could retort I placed my arms around him, hid my face in our tight embrace and cry once again. “It hurts to know that you’re hurting and I’m not there with you”

He didn’t say anything but I felt his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. The next thing I notice is the warmth of he is emitting but his words surprised me the most. “Joohyun ah… “, his arms tightened around my waist, “I’m scared… I’m really scared Joohyun ah”

We were just waiting at the hallway when Yonghwa is sent for x-ray to see if there are any infections. It turned out that he has gotten a flu and I know that it doesn’t sound serious until Minhyuk broke the truth to me.

“Hyung is not gonna make it. His body has stopped responding to treatment. I’m afraid that this flu will make him worst”

It felt like I have been crushed by a thick wall. I couldn’t utter anything because of the growing lump in my throat, threatening me to cry if I ever to utter something. When I look at him coming towards me and Minhyuk, wheeled by a nurse, with his usual smile, only fading in colour; how can I face him if all I want to do is cry?

I ran from the hallway and I heard him calling out to me. I wanted to turn back to him but I couldn’t. I am not ready to face him. I’ve only just found him and our journey has just began. I can’t lose him. He is the best thing that has happen in my life.

I ran up the stairs until I feel like I couldn’t breathe, intentionally squeezing the air out of my lungs because if I don’t I might just start to lose it. I ran through the never ending corridors and finally my track stopped. I found myself standing on the hospital’s roof. I collapsed, once again feeling the heaviness of him eventually leaving me. My heart ached with every breathe I take re-filling my lungs with a