His hands reached out searching for that magical pill that could make his killer hangover go away but his hands only found dust and the warm sunlight. “DANMI!” He shouted with groggy voice making his throat burn more, desperately in need of water. He expected her to come running any second now. Asking what he needs, if everything’s alright just like what she usually does.

Any second now.

Any second now.

Any second now.

Why is she so damn slow?

“DANMI!!!”

Silence greeted him. She didn’t come. He didn’t hear the door opened. He didn’t hear her too energetic voice. Danmi left this afternoon. We even sent her off. Right, his wife left him. The love of his life broke up with him and his wife left him. ‘What a loser’ he thought

Using every ounce of his energy Jaejoong dragged himself to the kitchen and poured a glass of water. Great, now he has to go out to buy hangover pills because he has no idea where Danmi keeps them. Feeling like crap Jaejoong massaged his head as settled down in the living room waiting for the food he ordered.

The plane probably landed by now. Japan’s not that far after all. Why the heck did she left? If she’s leaving she should have done it months ago. Before he lost Yuri. Before they got married. Before they even met.

You treated her like so she left. Is he still drunk? Because he thinks his minds playing with him now. He knows he’s been a jerk to her but she deserves it. He said it before; he’s going to hurt her. He’s just going to make her cry, a lot. But she stayed. She stayed and took away his happiness. She took away his air. And now she LEFT?

The doorbell rang and Jaejoong stood up slowly as he felt his world spin a bit. After paying for the pizza he settled himself down on the sofa and started eating his afternoon brunch.

She left him alone after ruining his life. She said she would be the perfect wife for him but she left. Maybe that’s the perfect wife for him, a wife that’s far away. So far away to the back of his mind to where she doesn’t even exist anymore.

Or maybe he’s just too much of a jerk that she can’t put up with him anymore. He became so intolerable that she just couldn’t take it anymore and ditched him. Is he that hard to be with? Yuri left him. Danmi left him. His friends are furious at him. They didn’t say a thing. In fact they didn’t speak to him at all but the glares their giving him are enough to bury him more than six feet under the ground.

Why did she even leave? She knew he loved Yuri but still insist they get married. She knows he’s still seeing Yuri after they get married and she still stayed. But now that he and Yuri broke up she left? Does that even make sense?

Maybe he’s really destined to be alone, alone for the rest of his life. Too dramatic don’t you think? If his head doesn’t feel like it’s being pounded by a jack hammer Jaejoong would have laugh at himself for being so dramatic and pathetic. Maybe he should see this as a slap in the face or a punch in the gut. Or maybe a wakeup call to be less violent. A wakeup call that he should start living his life properly. Be more responsible, stop being childish and grow up. Maybe he should start considering his future. He’s going to take over his father’s company anytime soon and he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents. Thousands of lives would be in his hands and he should start getting his act properly. How can his life have so many ‘maybe’? Really pathetic Jaejoong, really pathetic he said to himself.

Gulping a few more cola Jaejoong burped loudly. He’s home so why should he act so prim and proper. Even when Danmi’s around he acts like a total slob, even making an orchestra with his fart. But he can’t act like that in front of Yuri, no never. He’ll be too embarrassed to even show his face to her again. Danmi on the other hand is different. She would grunt and ask if he’s constipated. She would even pretend to die of suffocation often times but would smile nonetheless. And now she’s gone, not even leaving a note behind. Not even bothering to say goodbye.

Did he do something that made her give up and went running away? He admits he’s been acting like a total jerk these days. He’s been depressed over the breakup and would come home every night drunk to oblivion. He knows Danmi’s been taking care of him. He’d wake up with a new clean shirt with hangover pills and water on his bed side table. She’ll cook for him without complaints and would take all of his insults with her lips shut. Just a word from him and she’ll come running.

He remembered calling her one time. The images were a bit blurry because of alcohol but he remembered shouting at the phone telling her that her husband’s ordering for her to come. And she did. She did and he made a fool of her.

‘Everyone clap your hands for this she finally got what she wants. She’s finally married to me!’ Some clapped in amusement and some laughed out of entertainment. He saw the tears that were threatening to spill but instead of stopping it made something in him burn. He remembered Yuri’s crying face and something inside him snapped.

He grabbed her by the shoulders tightly and shouted on her face. ‘Yah! You’re gonna cry?! Don’t with me! You don’t have the right to cry! You’re the one who made me like this! Don’t act like you’re the victim and that you’re pitiful!’  He was going to say a lot more but his friends who finally arrived grabbed him and everything went black.

She still stayed after that, did the same things. She still changed his clothes, cooked him meals and ran him baths. Now he knows he really did go too far this time. Too far that made her leave.

Rubbing his temples he grunted. His brain cells weren’t that many to begin with and all this thinking is just killing the few numbers that’s left. That’s what your mind does to you when you’re alone. Alone, a word Jaejoong was used to. He has lots of friends, friends that are like brothers to him but still there are things he couldn’t say to them. Yes, he had Yuri but she’s always busy and her schedule is tight. He has his parents but their always away on a business trip. In fact he celebrated 95% of his birthdays with friends, maids and butlers. He doesn’t mind anymore, he got luxury gift in place of their presence after all. So being alone isn’t actually new to him. It’s something he grew accustomed with.

But how come he feels like loneliness is eating him alive? Like the deafening silence could make his ear bleed. He’s used to hearing the rustling in the kitchen, the TV on the news channel. He’s used to hearing the stereo play and couldn’t help but curse at the person who invented ‘repeat’. But now he’s yearning for that. Yearning for someone to show and say ‘hey you want to eat?’ or a ‘you look pathetic’ would even do. But no, the person who could and would say that to him left.

And was it his fault? Was it his fault that he and Yuri broke up? Was it his fault that Danmi left? Was it his fault that his parents are fed up with him? Was it his fault that his friends are disappointed at him? Was it his fault? Would it always be his fault? He just wanted to be loved, is that bad? How come everybody is pointing fingers at him like he never did a right thing in his life? How come people already sentenced him when they don’t even know half of the story. They didn’t know what he had to go through.

Clearly he’s on the stage of depression right now. He got pass blaming others and the next step on the ladder is blaming himself. It’s his fault, it’s the truth anyway. He knows his pride is too high to admit that it’s his fault. But since nobody is around and he’s drowning on his own sorrow might as well admit. He feels like the whole world is against him. He knows it’s his fault and that just makes him more miserable.

“Hyuk Jae!” Junsu shouted raising his hands on the air.

“Dolphin!”

“Anchovy! It’s been a long time.”  The fish friends both greeted one another as they exchange manly hugs with slight taps on the back.

“Dolphin, I haven’t seen you in in such a long time”

“Guys this is a friend of mine.” Junsu introduced with his arms hanging on his friends shoulders.

“Eun Hyuk, it’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand, smiling with some gums showing which they later on learned was part of his charms.

“We were in the same dance group on middle school. It’s been so long bro what’s up?”

“One of my sisters owns this place. She’s taking some time off and asked me to watch over this place from time to time.”

“You know Danmi” as far as Yoochun knows Danmi owns this club and she has no fish of a brother. Wait does she? “You’re a Seo?”

Eun Hyuk shook his with a nervous expression on. “But you said Danmi’s your sister?” Now Yoochun’s definitely confused.

“Don’t tell me.”

So yeah I was busy and honestly a bit lazy. Hehe, sorry guys. But I really am busy since i'm a graduating student/ working student and am still doing my thesis. and a few things happen. all in all I really am in a mental messed right now. My stress level just got down a level so I was finally able to update. but a few weeks ago was just hell and I can't help but cry a in some nights. Anyway I hope you enjoy even if its a sad chapter.