Hey guys. *deep sigh* I have bad news (the worst news for me). My friend borrowed my HDD. Unfortunately, the rest of my other chapters for this fic are there. I recently transferred my files to free some disk space. I didn't know my fic folder was among those transferred. At first I thought it was going to be fine since he said he's giving it back today. But guess what. The worst (worst of the worst for me) incident happened. He had to go back to his province for an emergency. And he left my HDD in his condo. The key's with him and the spare one's with his mom. And I thought, how much more luckier can I get, right? And I guess I am pretty lucky. Cause he thinks he won't be able to come back till next week. Or maybe even later than that.

So yea. I don't think I'll be able to keep my promise that I'll be updating. :( I feel the saddest right now. I think it's a sign that I need to do acads stuff for now. Which I don't think I'll be able to do since I'll be thinking about not updating FOR A WEEK. I mean seriously. A WEEK?! Really?! Just when I'm getting to the good part?! How much longer do they want me to continue with these flashbacks?! FML.

Sorry. I'm just so stressed these days.

^ I wrote all that last night. And guess what. My friend's back. Haha. Got my HDD back. And here guys, is the chapter I owe you. :D It's a bit short so I'll try to update again sooner. :) Thank you for reading! And to all those who gave their endless support, I'm dedicating this to you. :)

We didn’t talk after that. The only time we saw each other again was during my graduation. Our family was shocked to hear the news of our break up. Everybody was in denial saying we’re just going through a phase. We told them it was a mutual decision and eventually, they accepted it at that.

A week after graduation, I flew to Paris for the world-tour fashion show. I was going to be there for more than a year. I had to practically beg my parents. After I knelt down and cried in front of them, they finally gave in, given that I’m going with Jay, another bodyguard and a personal assistant.

Fashion shows and pictorials came one after another. By the end of the year, I was offered more projects. My parents had to come to me during the holidays since I couldn’t go home. I spoke to them regularly through the phone and often met in functions.

I circled the whole world meeting all kinds of different people. I hired people to teach me different languages in order to adapt well. I moved from place to place and the only people constant in my life were Nicole, my make-up artist, Gain, my hairdresser, Suzy, my personal assistant and fashion consultant and Jay and Jonghoon, my bodyguards.

I began treating them as family. We were together through all the holidays. I grew close to them. At times, they were the reason I forget about being away from my family. They made me forget him. Although Jay and Jonghoon wouldn’t leave me alone, I try to give them the day off that they all deserved. I treated them to restaurants and sent them to resorts to relax. A token of gratitude for always staying with me.

Abroad, I lived simply. If I wasn’t in a pictorial or a fashion show, I roamed the city on foot. With my camera and Chuck Taylors, I roamed every city like a small girl looking for adventure.

Although as I spent more time alone, I think about him more. There had been a few rumors about Donghae getting together with other girls while I was away. News of our break up spread a few days after I left. During the first few days, Dong Wook talked about how he does nothing but drag Donghae from bars. He would always be drinking too much and dating girls. It pained me how similar it was from before.

After a few weeks, brother called me. He and Dong Wook were worried about Donghae. After playing around for a few weeks, he began to change completely and buried himself in work. He began working out and all but he stopped being sociable. Nobody, not even Aunt Taeyeon could talk to him. I knew I should talk to him. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I tried to live normally abroad. I try to go out with friends and go on dates. But relationships never seem to last. After a few days of trying, I let go of the guy, not wanting to hurt him further by treading him along. It wasn’t that I couldn’t move on from him. But somewhere in my heart, I knew that I was hoping he’d be true to his words. That all I need to do was to wait. And we’d be back together.

I knew as well that I had to do something if I want that to happen. But I just couldn’t. Every single day, as I write e-mails to my family and his family-yes, I have kept in touch with Aunt Taeyeon, sending both her and my mom pictures of the newest fashion-I stop myself from writing to him. Actually, I don’t stop myself from writing. I have hundreds of emails that I’ve written over time. I just stopped myself from sending them. They were just there. Untouched in the drafts folder.

It had been 1 year and 6 months since we broke up. 1 year and 5 months since I last saw him. I year and 5 months since I last spoke to him. And it pains me, not being able to connect with him. It pains me greatly.