It has been few weeks since my first attempt at contacting the girl. The boys eventually find out the reason behind my constant cheerfulness. Last time we had barbeque in SeungHyun hyung's house, SeungRi successfully grab my phone off my hands when i was typing a reply to her message. It was shocking to them. Firstly, it is the first time in my life that i've stayed in contact with a girl for longer than two weeks and not get bored. Second, it is the first time they've seen that i am genuinely happy when talking to a girl. I can see relieve in their faces. Apparently, my constant assurance and promise didn't fully make them believe that i am not gay. I can't really blame them, though. Not once had i ever been excited interacting with a girl. Until now. Since then, they cant stop asking me about the progress between me and the girl.

I am hanging out at the studio with JiYong, when he suddenly turns to me with a serious face.

"YoungBae-ah, how do you intend to have a relationship with a girl that lives on the other side of the world?"

I guess he is having one of the writers block and needs some inspiration. He never understood how a relationship could stand when no physical contact involves. He is one of those people that goes crazy if he didnt get any physical love from his girlfriend. I guess that's why he tends to go with those girls that you can see from the outside appearance that they've had some 'experience'. Some might categorize them as a but i'm not the type who judge.

I decide to give him some insights into my thoughts about this whole situation. Its the first time ever where i give the almighty Kwon Ji Yong a view of love.

"Truthfully, i don't know. But one thing for sure, when she didn't contact me, it felt like something missing. But then i have never had any of those kinds of 'experience' anyway so i dont really know what i'm missing out on. What i want now is simply the assurance that she is still single and that she is willing to talk to me" my answer made myself blush. This is the first time i have admitted it out loud.

"Aigoo~ uri YoungBae-ah has grown a lot, hasnt he! But come on, what assurance do you need! You're Taeyang and she's a VIP. As if she can resist"

"That's the weird thing about this girl... she doesnt want anyone to know that shes texting me. And i think she is serious. Up till now, there is still no scandal about me, right" i explained.

"Ah~ thats true. thats pretty weird, bro! Do you think she only does that to get your attention though? To be different than the rest of the girls?" JiYong tried to give some reason into her action. I guess thousands of relationships makes you understand what women do to gain attention.

"molla-yo. But i've talk to her for weeks and never once had we talk about fame. The closest thing we talk that has any relation with BigBang is our music"

"you have her picture? now i'm curious. I didn't get the chance to see her during the party. SeungRi said she's hot though. So did SeungHyun hyung" JiYong words somehow burns my chest. Why would SeungRi says she's hot? And what's SeungHyun deal?? Whoa. Step back, YB. So what if they say she's hot?

"Here" i showed him the picture in her profile chat page. She look stunning sitting down on the floor with her legs cross, holding a Heineken and laughing freely wearing a red leather jacket, a black leather leggings and a white Jordans. It seems like she was at a party because there are bunch of people behind her getting wasted with a beer-bong.

I looked at JiYong, he is quiet with his eyes widen. "YA" i stop him from staring my girl for too long.

"ah neh... she's pretty YoungBae-ah"

The girl in the picture is beautiful. No, beautiful is not even enough to describe her. Stunning, y, Hot, Mesmerizing, Delicious. Her long hair waved as he dropped her head from laughing. Her smile is so inviting that i want to grab her face and kiss all over it. Don't even get me started on the style. It's a mixture between punk and hiphop and it fits her perfectly as if she invented it. I like. Looking at this picture alone made me think of things that i shouldn't be thinking when you're thinking about YB's girl. Get what i mean?

No wonder YoungBae got hooked instantly. No wonder SeungRi remembers her phone number when she hold it out on her poster. A face like this couldn't be forgotten. I can see her long curly eyelashes flashed in the picture. Her lips is the color of a strawberry cream that makes you want to and le. Her cheek is blushing pink that makes me want to rub my lips on it to simply feel the warm and the smoothness. What distracts me the most is the fact that she wears a loose white tanktop underneath her leather jacket. i can slightly see her cleavage. Its like its showing off themselves to me. Its an open invitation where i am the only invited guest.

"YA" YoungBae snapped me out of my imagination.

"ah neh.. she's pretty, YoungBae-ah" what else can i say? 'i want to do dirty things to the girl you've been eye-ing for 3 weeks'?

"i know. She smiles like an angel" he said while looking at the picture with a loving eyes.

"I'd tap her now if I were you" i muttered under my breath. It slipped. i couldn't help it.

"mwoh?" thank God he didnt hear it.

"nothing" as i face myself back to the mixer to divert my attention from the picture that i just saw and immerse myself back to my music.

YoungBae has gone few hours ago as he had a dinner date with his brother. I was supposed to come but i couldn't leave my song when it's not finish. It's 12 midnight and i just finished showing my work to Teddy hyund who just left a few seconds ago. He said its fine but the lyrics seems to be a bit monotonous. He accused me of having no inspiration lately. Maybe he's right. I have been too busy with promotions, tours and tv shows lately that i am lacking in social life.

I turn on my phone and open my contact address. I flick through many numbers trying to find a name that might get me out of my rut. Na Ya? too boring. Yoo Im? too clingy. Seu Na? too skinny. I need to make new friends. No cross that. I need to meet new girls. Immediately my mind filled with the picture that YoungBae showed earlier and just like that my imagination goes wild. Ah, how many ways can i have her if she's here. I could get rid of these music sheets and lay her on top of the table, grab her legs and put it around my waist. Or, i could simply had her pinned down the wall, my nose on her neck while i'm indulging in her scent and my lips tracing her collarbone...

Wait a minute, are you crazy JiYong-ah?! YoungBae has been eyeing this girl for almost a month now and here you are imagining yourself ing with the girl?! Stop it! YoungBae is my brother. There is no way in hell that i would -block him, especially knowing that this might just be his first love. Ah but why does he had to have the dibs when i never even had the chance to have a look. I shouldn't have drank that night. It's SeungRi's fault giving me Absinthe when i was dead tired that night. If i was sober and i saw her on the sofa looking mighty fine like in the photo, i'd probably grab her arms and drag her to the toilet. I can have her on the sink and let my fingers trace her back until it reaches her ...

F---! Again with the thoughts! Ah maybe im just simply too tired. I've spent 10 hours in the studio and that makes my head turns into a mush. I need to go home.

Few weeks had passed and i am still texting with this guy called YoungBae. Yeah, he called himself YoungBae but i couldnt make myself to call him that. TaeYang. Tae-Freaking-Yang. From Big-Freaking-Bang. I still couldn't get over the fact that i have his number on my phone, let alone a constant chat everyday. This is not about romance though. I can feel him as being an oppa to me. A big teddy bear that can calm you down when a storm is approaching and I can sense that he feels the same way. I am his sister from another mother that talks in different language. To be honest, i think the initial reason why he texted me was so that he can improve his english and knowing that i dont mind being bothered, automatically i became his practice partner.

I really don't mind. He is a funny, considerate, honest and caring type of person. The type of person that you would want to hang out with every single day just because you know you won't get hurt when he's around. There's not a day gone by where he didn't ask 'how your day's been?'  and everytime that question came up, i grin. He's a true brother that concerns about the wellbeing of his sister. i feel loved. I dont mind having TaeYang as a brother. I've been wanting one since i was a baby but obviously i couldnt, and here i am having an oppa that not only is kind and loving, but also hot and talented. I am truly blessed.

My paper is almost coming to its conclusion as TaeYang keeps on helping me with providing information about the techniques and equipments (sometimes, even software!) that they used in their songs. I struggle to find a way on how to reference the information when i can't really put on '(Dong Young Bae, 2011)' on my paper. I constantly put lies about where i got the information. The more information i got from TaeYang, the more creative i get with my refences. The last information i put was from a music engineer that once worked in YG as a trainee but return back to US after 6 months due to his inability to cope with the cultural differences. I told you, i get creative.

I woke up because of a loud bang made by the sound of the door closing. "Chae Chae CHAE!" i can hear Ashanty screaming my name from downstairs. My doors open abruptly as Ashanty's standing on my door dripping in sweat, trying to catch her breath.

"DaeSung..... DaeSung...." she said between her breath.

"What??" I asked her both in fear and in confusion.

"He had a car accident. A person killed. Now it seems like everyone starting to blame him" Ashanty explained as she slowly starts to sob.

What? How can that be? i thought DaeSung is the best, most well behaved one in the group?! I quickly check my phone to see if there's any message from TaeYang about this issue. None.

"why are you checking your phone?! aren't you concern that BigBang might need to disband because of this accident?! what kind of VIP are you!!" she shouted and cried as she left my room in a daytime drama kind of way.

I was too shocked to respond. What are the implications of this accident to BigBang as a band? I spent too much time focusing on BigBang and their music on my paper that i forgot completely about the situation of K-Pop industry. Was it going to affect that much that what Ashanty said might be true?

I quickly typed a message to TaeYang in hope that he might gain a feeling of some sort of support from me.

Send To: TY

hey... i heard about the news.

i hope u guys are fine...

i most certainly hope DaeSung is fine.

contact me if u need to talk, ok?

dont worry about the time difference, i'll be awake if u text.

A 15 minutes passed and my phone vibrates.

From: TY

we're fine... thou im not sure about DaeSung.

he's pretty shaken up because of this.

C, i'd be quiet busy now, i dont think i'd be able to contact u often.

i hope you'll be fine and take care of urself, ok?

make sure to eat well and sleep early at night.

stop drinking RedBulls that keeps u awake, ok?

and stop being so clumsy and bumping into things.

i hope ur paper turns out well. i am honored that i can help.

dont worry abt us here, we're 5 young boys, we take care of ourself well :)

This must be the longest speech he made about my well being. Something smells fishy here. It feels like a goodbye but i don't know why. I type and i send. Unknowingly i whispered, 'annyeonghaseyo, oppa...'

Reply to: YB

arrasso~

why do i feel like ure telling me goodbye? ;p

Tears almost fell down my cheek when my phone vibrated in my hands and Cheryl's name came up. She's worried. She cares. Her concern made me want to hold her, her hair and kiss her forehead as i tell her that i am fine. I replied reluctantly as I know what is going to happen next. I wanted to add more in my last message. Add some more sentences that can show her that i am going to miss her and that i fell in love with her. Yes. I really do. I fell in love hard with a girl that i barely met and had only contacted through messages. 

But YG hyung is infront of me staring and waiting to confescate our number and providing us with a new one to minimize any further scandals that might occur. I turn off my phone as i send my goodbye without waiting for her reply. I hope she understands my message. I hope she truly takes my advice and take care of herself. i dont want her to hurt regardless of how insignificant the injury may be. Why must this happen to me when i finally found the one i want to love?! Times like this is when i wish i could be like a regular working men where i have no reputation to uphold and consequences will only affect myself.

I look to my right and left as SeungHyun hyung, JiYong and SeungRi all texting those that matters telling them that we changed numbers. YG  hyung didn't let me tell Cheryl of our new number. No untrusted people can have our number now, he said. My heart feels like they're being stabbed as I sighed and held my tears when i hand in my old number to YG hyung.

Goodbye my love, when the time comes, I'll come back to get you...