“Did you question my fidelity?!” He smacks the door open and he threatens in the doorframe looking down at my bruised body.

“I didn’t question it! I SAW YOU MAKE OUT WITH HER, JOSH! CUT THE BULL!” I shout at him, ignoring my shaking body.

His eyes are blaring as my accusations keeps on going. He takes off his belt in a swift move and swings it in my direction.

“I. DIDN’T. CHEAT!” He whips me with his belt between every word and it creates cuts on my arms as I try to save my face from his torture.

He grabs me by my collar and drags me to the bed forcefully. The tears and pain making me limp and I have no strength to fight back as he throw my body onto the bed. I am sprawl on the bed with my hands covering my face. My body shaking heavily and I fear for my own safety.

I feel him getting on the mattress and he is looming above me with his legs straddle over my abdomen. I can feel his whole weight resting on my body and it makes my body hurts even more.

“You want to see what action would be classified as cheating?” He asks. His voice is dark and forbidding as he smirks down at me.

Next thing I know, his hands are ripping away my clothes and I try to struggle to break free but every time I do, his slap on my face got ever harder. He undressed me and whips my body for few times before he lets out himself.

“NO!!” I continuously scream as he pushed himself forcefully into me, hurting my whole being.

I wake up with sweats all over my body. It has been the same dream for these few weeks. No, not a dream. More like a flashback. A tormenting flashback. Those vivid moments where I snapped and promised myself that if I lived through it, I would forever walk away. No more turning back, no more forgiveness.

This nightmare is quite familiar to me. It occurs almost everyday after my separation with Josh. It always haunting me, reminding me of my own stupidity. I relied on sleeping pills to give me a slight chance of peaceful slumber but sometimes it doesn’t even works. It took me a long time until I finally let go of the nightmare and I can sleep peacefully without any fear. No more nightmares, no more torture.

Now, the nightmare is back. More daunting than ever, as if I am back to where I was before. It started few nights after GD decides to give his material to me through his manager and never show his face anymore. I’ve tried to ignore it, thinking that it is the best situation for my heart. But as always, my head can’t control my heart and now it’s making me restless.

I’ve only known him for a while, but the impact of his presence on me is undeniably huge even though I don’t even know when it all started. He was avoiding me before, not wanting to spend time to edit the music together. But I thought those time was because he knows that I like it better to edit alone. Now, after weeks of not seeing him, I feel empty. Like something missing. I sit on his chair, I play on his keyboard but nothing, and nothing can fix it.

I’ve been awake for almost an hour now, too scared to go back to sleep. I watch the ceiling as I drown myself in my own thought. Without me realizing, the sun has already risen and light is visible through my curtain. At around 8.13 AM, my phone starts to buzz.

“Yeobuseyo” I answer. It’s GD’s manager. I’m sure he wants to confirms about the time and place that we should meet today to give me another pile of materials.

“Cheryl-ssi” He sounds a little alert.

“Ne?”

“I can’t give you the songs today and there wont be any songs to edit for a while. Sajangnim will let you know more details. I’m in a rush now, annyeonghaseyo” He says quickly and hangs up.

My mind went blank for a few second until I fully registered what he just said. I don’t have any job for awhile?? This GD dude really is something else, isn’t he?! If he wants me to leave the company, he might as well say it straight to my face, rather than gradually leaving me like this!

I jump off the bed and head straight to shower. I don’t care what his manager says, I am still going to go to work, whether he likes it or not!

The time shows 10 AM in the morning and here I am already sitting mindlessly in the studio. He wasn’t joking when he said that there wont be any songs for a while. I checked GD’s folder and no new song is in store for me to work for. If this is how it’s going to be, sooner or later YG wont be needing me anymore, and I would have to hand in my YG badge.

My sadness about GD’s disappearance is no longer there, instead, I have this full frontal anger towards him. Now I am certain that he doesn’t want me here anymore and this is his coward ways of firing me. But I am no pushover; I will stay here until Sajangnim himself rips my contract apart.

The doors creaks and a face peeks in.

“Oppa” I stand up and bow.

“What are you doing here, Chae?” Teddy oppa is now next to me, worry is in face.

“Nothing” I honestly say. “I thought GD left something for me to work for, but I guess his manager was telling me the truth about how there wont be any songs for me for a while” I can’t hide my disappointment in front of Teddy oppa.

He wrinkles his eyebrow at me. “You didn’t know?” he asks, lowering himself to my level.

“What?” I ask, feeling completely left out.

He sighs, and plop himself in the sofa as he scratches his head underneath his hoodie.

“JiYong-ie….” He starts, and straight away I can feel sadness radiates from him. “He got into a mess”

“What mess?” somehow, I can feel that something bad is happening to GD now.

“He got caught with in his system” Teddy oppa says softly, as if not wanting anyone to hear.

“WHAT?!” I scream

“SHHH… No need to make it bigger than it already is!” Teddy oppa scolds me. “Sajangnim is handling it now, but GD will need to take time off from this business.”

In an instant, all I can see is GD curling up in bed, in a dark room, alone as his future crumbles in front of him. My heart shattered and tears are pooling in my eyes. What I want to do now is to run to him and hug him tight, do everything I can to make his pain go away. I can’t believe I just made stupid assumptions, when in fact GD is the one hurting!

“You will need to talk to Sajangnim about your work. Maybe he’ll assign you to something else. I have to go. Annyeong Chae” Teddy oppa says as he get up and walk out the door.

I am alone again in this empty studio. Teddy oppa’s words are circling in my head. Now every time I turn, all I can see is GD. GD sleeping on the couch, GD playing with his guitar, GD listening to the music, even GD teasing me. I can see him everywhere but I am not there with him. I let my tears fall, as I think about how much he’s hurting.

We watch silently as JiYong drives away to his parent’s house. The news about his scandal hits all of us the same way. None of us even think about BigBang anymore. All we want is for JiYong to be okay.

The way he look when he enter the apartment before breaks our soul. He is skinny with only skin and bones left and he is so pale that I can see his vein in his arms. He looks like a zombie and none of us can help him taking the burden away.

I don’t know what happened between us these past months but I don’t care about it anymore. Our little love rivalry is at not even in my mind any longer. He is my bestfriend, he is my brother, and I just let him go away alone to fix himself.

The whole time we were in his apartment, he keeps his head down, as if he is embarrassed to even look at us. It pains me to see that JiYong thinks of us that way. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING that he does can make us even slightly embarrass. He is not only our leader, but he’s our best friend, our brother, and our family.

He repeatedly apologized for his mistakes and he even suggested us to kick him out of the group for BigBang to survive. We were too shocked to hear what he said that hyung could only shouted at him for even thinking of that option.

We helped him pack; making a few jokes every now and then trying to lift his mood, but nothing could make him feel better. Of course nothing would make you feel better, when your future is suddenly turns bleak at a blink of an eye.

“What are we suppose to do now?” SeungHyun hyung asks as we watch the car turns into a tiny dot at the end of the road.

“All we can do is wait” DaeSung says. After getting through a scandal himself, he seems to be the one who understand JiYong best right now.

“UNTIL WHEN??! JIYONG HYUNG IS GOING TO GO TO JAIL AND WE ARE JUST GOING TO STAND AROUND DOING NOTHING?!” Maknae bursts, letting out all his worry that he’s been holding out in front of JiYong.

“Can you calm down?! We are all as nervous as you are!!” I can’t help but to be annoyed by him. His little drama makes me more frightened.

“YG Hyung knows what to do. All we can do is giving him help when he asks us. We need to go back, we can’t be seen like this, people might notice” DaeSung says gloomily as he makes his way to his car.

The sun is rising, but I know JiYong’s isn’t.

Hey guys!

Sorry for the weak chapter, but i think i kinda need this to brige the story to the next :D

I hope you guys aren't bored *puppy eyes*

ANYWAY, as always, I would LOVE to receive more SUBSCRIBERS and COMMENTS about this story (pleeeasseeee) ^ ^

Thank you for reading and sticking around guys! <3

Oh! i forgot to market my second story! kekeke.. ^^

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