The sun shines through my grey curtain as I woke up with a huge grin plastered on my face. The warmth of the air can be felt through my opened window and its like the spring knows when to start deliver its best weather to accommodate my beautiful mood. Why am I so happy? Is it because I've finished few songs? No. Certainly not that. I know what it is that made me this way but I am reluctant to admit it. I promised myself to never gone this path knowing fully well how it felt to the other party. Suddenly a past nightmare flashes me. The heartache, the embarrassment, the rejection and the feeling of being betrayed by the person whom you give all your trust and secrets. I can never let go of the pain and neither would anyone.

I grabbed my MCM backpack to fish out my iPhone that I've been neglecting since last night's dinner. As expected, YoungBae's name is the first on the list of missed call and messages. 23 missed calls in total from him. I press the green button to try give him a call to ease out his anxiety.

"JiYong-ah! Eodiya??!" YoungBae answered after a ring. Nervousness is clear in his voice.

"I'm at the apartment. Mianhae, last night I left my phone in the car and completely forget about it" I lied. How could I told him that I enjoyed my time spent with her too much that I forgot about the outside world?

"Ah jinjja? So, how was last night? What did you guys do? What time did you guys seperate? What time did she got home?" He bombarded me with questions that are fair to be asked by a guy who is completely smitten.

"Last night was ok. We finished 3 songs and we had dinner. With Teddy hyung at ahjumma's place" I tried to sound nonchalant. As if it is not a big deal and it does not intrigue me even a little. Another lie. I made sure he knows that it wasn't only her and I that had dinner. I don't want him to start think of the negatives.

"Dinner? Ah... Did you guys drink? How's she? She drunk? How did she got home?" Another set of possessive questions from him. How did she got home? This question pulled me back to last night...

"I think you're a bit drunk, GD" she examined my face as we got into my car. I promised her I'd take her home. My reasoning was because YoungBae would want me to take care of his girl. But that reason only comes in mind when I was on my bed contemplating for excuses.

"I'm fine. I don't get drunk easily" I said as I press on the gas pedal and let my Bentley run swiftly through Seoul streets.

Suddenly, she put her palm on my cheeks and then onto hers with her brow etched creating a perfect v in between. It caught me off guard and I pressed the gas way too deep that we launched forward and the meter reached 110 in this 90km/hr area.

"See, you face is red and its hot. You're drunk! Call a driver or your manager to drive you, will you?" She said after she got off her shock from the sudden speed of my car.

"Listen, this is Seoul. I know the streets like the back of my hands. Don't worry. I'll get you home safe" My voice is stern to hide my shaken heart. How can a touch gives me that much effect on my whole body? Surely, something is wrong here.

She pouted her peach colored lips showing her disapproval of my drink-driving and fold her arms. She looks like a little girl and I want to simply hold her and have her all tangled up between my arms. I look back to the road to focus my head. The infamous chant goes on again in my head. 'She's YoungBae's girl. She's YoungBae's girl'

I turn on my iPod in the car's sound system and a song that I've been working secretly blasting from the speaker. We are quiet until the song completely finish and I turn the stereo off.

"What do you think?" I asks her. I want to know her opinion on the song, but the honest little small part of me just want to hear her voice.

"Of the song?" She says warily.

"No, of the car seat. Ofcourse of the song!" I said sarcastically. I have a feeling that she doesn't really want to answer and playing obtuse.

"Um... You want my opinion as a friend or as an engineer?" She asks again trying to beat around the bush.

"Come on, we've work together for the whole day, and if I'm not mistaken, you were pretty brazen about your opinion when we first met." She can be quiet exasperating when playing coy. Her face blushes and she look at her hands while seems to be lingering on an answer.

"I don't think it's finished. You need to add some more level into it to make it more lively so it reflects the fun lyrics. Maybe you could make the bass smoother or tweak them. You should add more cymbals and maybe a few riff during the chorus. The first and second verse is fine but I don't feel any change into the bridge so maybe you could alter the melody a little bit there. Other than that, I don't think this song suits BigBang in general. A little bit too girly." She finally let out her thoughts and as expected, I am fully satisfied with it. Again and again she shows me her brilliance and detailed attention and again she amazes me. With such a little body, comes a big understanding of my world. Never have I encounter a girl that could be outspoken and criticize me the way she does.

"Majayo" I agrees. "This song is not for BigBang nor myself. Its a secret song I compose for 2ne1 to give to them for their anniversary. I know something is wrong but since it's a secret, I can't ask my members or Teddy hyung. They'll spill" I explained as she nodded her head to show that she finally understands.

"I always like your answer. The reason behind your presence here now. Without it, no one would know how smart you are" I finally let out a praise. I don't normally do this, especially not to my members. But this girl brings out a side of me that I don't understand. She looks at me with her round eyes and gives me her smile. Her delicious, gut wrenching smile.

"How do you know where I live?" She asks after I made a turn at the intersection near her apartment. Her question makes me blush. Does this makes me look like a stalker?

"Every new kid in YG got an apartment there. We've had few from overseas in the company, so I know" I explained. I hope she doesn't notice my interests in her. I will never be able to work with her if she does.

As I pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment, I looked around to see if paparazzis are anywhere to be seen before look at the passenger seat next to me. She was bending down as she tried to put in her stuff into her bag and I can see her back between her shirt and her jeans. It looks so soft and I had to fight all the urge of it.

She straighten up and face me. Her face is bright as if she just woke up, had shower and apply a natural make up when in fact she just spend 7 hours in the studio, bbq-ed samgyupsal and its 4.30 in the morning. I don't know what was I thinking back then when I said I was annoyed at her. How can you be annoyed even the slightest at an angel?

"Thanks for the ride! I had a great time today with the recording and food and talk! Have a goodnight sleep! Drive carefully!" she said as she jumps out of my car with an infectious smile and a set of shining eyes. I don't want her to leave. I want to come in. I want her.

Before she closed the car door, she peeked in once more and said " Annyeong, JiYong oppa~" with a now blushed cheeks and quickly retaliate by banging the door closed and ran to her apartment building. My name was left in the air and my heart beat races once more. My name rings beautifully from her lips and gives shiver down my spine. I sit in my car numbly for god-knows-how-long and stare at her building's rolling door hoping that she would pop out and say my name again. I let out a long sigh after I finally snapped out of my hopeful nirvana and press the gas once more to make the Bentley jolted forward and drives to my apartment with the stupidest grin I've ever had.

"Ya!" YoungBae's voice woke me up from my daydream. He doesn't sound too pleased and if I was him and knows what happen to me last night, I too would be displeased. But then, he doesn't know what happens. So I better toughen up and let the pretense goes on longer.

"Sorry, I fell back to sleep. What was your question?" I let out a yawn to back-up my statement.

YoungBae sighed. He knows me well and it is expected for the people around me to know that 10AM is not the time for JiYong to wake up willingly. So fall back to sleep mid-conversation at 10 in the morning is understandable for me.

"What time did you guys separate and how did she got home?" YoungBae said slowly making sure I hear every word of his questions. I'm not sure what to say to his question so I decide on honesty.

"Around 4am. I took her home" I answered simply to hide any emotions out of my voice.

"You took her home? Why?" He sounded desperate and stressed out.

"Would you want her to take public transport at 4 in the morning? Or do you want Teddy hyung to take her instead?" I answered accusingly and it silenced him.

"I took her home because I know you would want to be sure that she's safe until she reached her apartment. Was I wrong?" I used my reasoning that I've perfectly sculpted last night before I went to bed.

"Right... Thanks, Ji. Well, I better hung up the phone now. I got meetings and I want to try to call Chae once again... I hope she picks up. Did she said anything about me last night?" He sounded lost. As a brother, I want to give him encouragement. Anything that gives him some hope. But I couldn't. Not when I, myself, felt this way.

"Well, we just talked about music. So, no personal thoughts was exchanged" I let out another lie. For a second, I blame her for making me a liar to YoungBae, but I took the blame back. I can't blame an angel.

"Okay.. If somehow she calls you, before she calls me, can you let me know?" He sounded unsure. Unsure of what he might feel if she calls me instead of calling him. And I don't blame him. The thoughts of him and her is now unsettling to me.

"Arrasso..." I said weakly trying to once again shows my disinterest and he hungs up.

He hasn't heard from her since last night and his messages haven't been replied. Why is this fact alone gives me more boost to start the day? I jumped out of my bed feeling better than when I woke up. Today, if my schedule is not mistaken, is another studio session with yours truly. The pain and boredom of recording is nothing compare to the shivers and butterflies that comes when she's around.

I showered quickly and put on my Bvlgari perfume before I snatched my new Givenchy tee that I ordered a week ago. I got the catalog way before the spring/summer show and I already pre-ordered everything that I like and this t-shirt is my favorite among all. To top off my outfit today, I decide to put on an old-time favorite. I put on my Dior homme blue jeans and my Lanvin high-top that matches my shirt. I look in the mirror, impressed.

Before I got out of the apartment, I didn't forget to grab a handful of rings and bracelet along with my car keys. In this lift full of mirrors, I can't help my satisfaction with how I dress today. I usually wear a hoodie and a training during recording and only dress up when cameras were scheduled to come but here I am on this insignificant day looking dapper as ever just to see this new girl.

I parked my Bentley in my usual spot in YG carpark and walked rather too eagerly into the building. As the lift takes me up to the studio, I hum playful tunes that has been playing in my head since last night. Unknowingly, I started to make rhymes. My mood is too beautiful today and nothing could ruin it. In fact, new songs might come out of it.

When I opened the studio door, an unwelcome image thrown infront of me. Cheryl sits leisurely on the chair facing YoungBae, who sits on the sofa leaning forward to her and grinning as he looks at her laughing. The image is those you see of a couple having their casual dates enjoying themselves. It took them a few second to register my presence.

"Ah, JiYong-ah! Since when u come so early?" YoungBae asks me cheerfully but I can sense his annoyance. Cheryl just sits there offering her heart wrenching smile to me.

"Since I got your call early morning, I couldn't got back to sleep so here I am" I answered as I got into the studio trying to have no eye contact with her. My answer put YoungBae's cheek into flame. He's embarrassed, scared if Cheryl knows his obsessive phone call this morning.

"You arrived on time, oppa. I have to go out to have lunch with my eonnis. Now YoungBae oppa has company before I leave" she said cheerfully. So that's behind her earlier smile. She was relieved that YoungBae got someone with him so that she doesn't have to leave him alone in the studio. My heart stings knowing that I wasn't the reason behind her smile, even though I know this would please YoungBae. She packed her belongings and without her noticing, YoungBae and I watched her every move, intently.

"Have a good lunch, Chae" YoungBae shouted as she leaves the studio leaving me and YoungBae alone. I noticed he wears his new Chrome Heart t-shirt with his favorite Balmain jeans paired with his beloved black Dr. Martin. He too dressed up to impress. He turns his face to search for mine.

"Ji, I'm in love" he said looking at me straight into my eyes. I can see hopes, affection, and love all combined into one in his dark brown eyes. His smile is full of glee, satisfaction and pure bliss.

"I rushed here once I found out my meeting was canceled. We talked for 2 hours and I didn't even realize it! I think she is the smartest girl I know. She can relate to any topic I throw at her. Heck we even discussed Supreme's new line of skates! Also, she can take jokes like no other! Man, I never felt so comfortable talking alone with a girl in a confined room" he gushes with an obvious adoring tone in his voice.

He smiled brightly as he tells me his story like a little boy that just found his long lost toy and with that my whole determination to sneakingly impress Cheryl crumbled as soon as I realize that he's truly struck by her. I can't be that guy who went behind his best friend back just because of some stupid adoration. I need to step back and be the person that encourages my long-time best friend.

My heart sinks as my head decides my course of action. I know what I had to do but it never occurs to me how painful it would be. My head knows that Cheryl is at a good hand and that ease my anxiety a little. However, the image of YoungBae and Cheryl alone made my heart filled with rage. Rage that I can't be that person. Rage of unfulfilled adoration and unrequited feeling. I step down of my high horse and muster a smile with every energy I have left in me.

"Congratulations, YB. I've never seen you this happy. Take a good care of her" I say my last sentence as more of a threat than an advice. I am not joking about this. The thought of him hurting her already make me sick and I know if the situation happens, I would completely disregard his position as my best friend and beat the out of him.

"Thanks Ji. I don't know what it is about her but I couldn't take my mind off her. Yesterday I had an interview with GQ and when the girlfriend question comes up, I hesitated! I hesitated, Ji! I don't hesitate when it comes to girlfriend question, and you know that! Its always the protocol that I answer girlfriend questions with ease and simple. But no, not this time" he shook his head in disbelief. I know thalt feeling. I've felt that since the first time our eyes met. But enough about my feelings. Now it's about YoungBae. My bestfriend, my brother, my partner-in-crime is now finally head over heels over a girl. We should celebrate this step-stone for now we don't need to worry about his ual orientation anymore. We have to celebrate the fact that YoungBae finally met a girl that he's been waiting for over 20years. The only problem is, I think I'm struck too.

The silence of the room is serene. JiYong sits limblessly next to me facing the ceiling. I don't know what he's thinking but after my long story about my feelings, he's been quiet. Maybe he's rhyming. Creating new songs out of my story like he always does when he heard other's troubles. We've been silent in this studio for a while. I feel a surge of relieve after I pour all of my concerns and hopes to JiYong. Trust him to listen to all of my troubles without making any judgement. He didn't offer me any advice like before when I was only texting with Cheryl since she was still in LA. Maybe he fed up with my worries. He's pretty experienced about this stuff, so maybe he felt that my questions were too stupid to be worth given an answer to. I don't blame him, though. I understand that I may look like a kid with a new shiny toy but, that, I'm enjoying this new crush.

My phone rings loudly from my back pocket and wakes us up from our serenity. Daesung's mom's name come up. I forgot completely about my promise on visiting Daesung today. I pressed the answer button quickly while grabbing my wallet and the vitamin drink off the table.

"Annyeonghaseyo, ommoni" I answered as JiYong looking at me confused by my panicking movement.

"What time are you coming, YoungBae-goon? I'm cooking samgyetang" her soft voice filled with care and warmth.

"I'll be there shortly, I'm from the office. Please do not wait for me to have lunch, I'll be able to grab something to bite on the way there" I try to assure her.

"Don't be silly, ofcourse we'll wait for you. Alright then, I'll see you soon" her voice brighter knowing that I still can fulfill my promise.

"Where are you heading to?" JiYong finally opens his mouth after I hang up the phone and put on my beanie.

"I promised Daesung's mom that I'd visit. I haven't seen him for a while. She told me you went there last week. Thanks for inviting, Ji" I explained and giving him sarcastic remarks for not taking me to DaeSung's house last week.

"Ah~SeungHyun called me suddenly and begs me to come with him to visit Dae. So I did at the last minute. Say hi to him for me, ok? Try persuade him to come to the office once a while. He needs some fresh air" JiYong giving his excuse as I step out the door. I am in such a rush that I can't answer anymore so I simply nod and ran to the lift pressing the button vigorously hoping it would opens faster.

As I enter the lift, I call Manager hyung and tells him to pick me up at the back door. I want to drive but being in such a rush, I'm scared I might hit someone.

I sit in the front seat and bang the door prompting hyung to press the gas immediately. After a run like that, I have to catch my breath and manager hyung just gives me a weird stare as if I'm an alien.

"I promise them I'd be there at 12.30. Now it's 1. I'm really late, hyung" I explain my absurd behaviour.

"Why don't you say so?" He grins and the meter shoots up to 120km/hr as we moves swiftly through traffic.

The car moves smoothly along the long road and I can't help myself but to think of DaeSung. Months had passed but he is still shaken. He is the only person I know who would blame himself for other's mistake. I'm not saying that this accident is not his, but even on some more trivial things, he would always take the blame.

I remember when we were just debuted, DongWook hyung bought us bunch of DanPatBbang and when JiYong went to the toilet, SeungRi secretly stole 2 of his share and DaeSung possibly saw it. But when JiYong got mad and asked who it was, SeungRi got quiet as he didn't expect that JiYong would be as pissed. Suddenly DaeSung speaks up and apologized saying that he didn't realize that he ate more than his share and that he possibly took JiYong's. JiYong scold him for a good 10 minutes and DaeSung just sits there taking all the blame. We didn't know all this until 2 years later SeungRi admitted his mistake during our truth/dare game and we made sure he had a good smack in the head for what he did.

DaeSung has been the angel in BigBang. What the media potrays him is nothing but ridiculous accusation and an exaggeration of event. I was at home just finished texting with Cheryl when he called with a shaken voice and with a sobbing breath. I knew something is wrong even before he spills. He never shows negative emotion in front of us no matter how stressful it is. But this case was different. He was scared and alone in the middle of the night and I know for certain that he needs his brothers. We all come together as soon in the dorm as the news broke while DaeSung went to his parents house. For once, our dorm have no sound. Everyone was deep in their own thoughts and prayer for our brother and hoped that nothing would go any worse. JiYong was the most shattered out of us four. He was out clubbing and was unreachable during DaeSung's accident so naturally YG Hyung blames him for not being cautious over s and he spent a good three hours in YG hyung's office.

Until today, we still takes turn accompanying DaeSung at his parents house. Trying to lift some pain and increase some confidence he has of himself. Our ever-cheerful dongsaeng no longer smiles brightly and it breaks all of our hearts.

Without realizing, the car already stopped in front of DaeSung's parent's house. I give manager hyung a fist bump as a thank you and jump out of the car. I guess DaeSung's mom heard a car stopping, and she is now already opening the gate to cheerfully let me in. I sense a feeling of relief from her smile and I feel really bad for making her doubt my promise. I give her a warm hug and she returned it while tapping my back lightly. "he's at the back" she whispered as if she's scared that DaeSung might hear us. I give her an ok sign with my hands and went straight to the back garden. I can see DaeSung is sitting on a garden chair under the tree and holding his iPad while stares blankly into the cloud. This is what hinders his progress. He cannot stop reading the negative news about himself and none of our threat or advice works on stopping him.

"Hey. Can you scoot a bit?" I say as i punch his arm lightly and it snaps him back to reality

"Ah, hyung..." he smiles weakly and moves so that i have a place to sit next to him.

"What's the news say this time?" I asks. I don't really want him to read articles of the accident but since he doesn't listen, i can only be a good listener. My question silence him and after a few minutes, he inhales and finally tells me.

"i'm an evil, snob, pretentious killer." he said with a low tone and barely audible. His head fall back to contain any tears that seems to be piling up in his eyes. The guilt he had is enormous enough that i don't think the media need to put any more pressure on him. I sit beside him silently while trying to come up with an idea to change the topic.

"hey, JiYong had a session with my girl yesterday. He said she was brilliant" I try to shift the mood with a lighter subject and as lately my mind seems to be revolving around her, its quite obvious that she'd be the topic. He smiled lightly after he hears my story and slowly facing me. I can see a broken boy longing for forgiveness and guidance in his eyes as his tears began to fade. His smile, even though genuine, is still hiding a lot of anguish.

"That's great, hyung. Last week JiYong hyung and SeungHyun hyung were here and they were talking about how crazy you are about this girl. I pray for you to get the girl, hyung" This is the DaeSung that i know. Always put other's before himself and he prayed for me instead of himself. "How's the progress?" He asks.

"Slow and steady. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Everyone gives me different advises and i'm scared that i might screw it. What do you think i should do?" I try to engage him into my own problem to let him off of his. He needs new perspective of life and maybe hearing other's story will do just that.

"You need to play hard to get, hyung. Girls dont like guys that are all over them. You need to play it cool. Don't you see how JiYong hyung rarely gives a smile to a girl? hard-to-get." He seems to be enjoying the topic from the way his eyes flickers as he gives me his advice. But maybe he's right. Without anyone knowing, DaeSung has been quite active in the dating area. He's even sneakier than JiYong when it comes to dating, that's why he rarely has any love scandal to his name. He's honest, charming, and a very good listener. I believe that factors alone already make girls heads over heels for him.

"So, you're saying I should pretend as if i don't care?" i rephrase his advice, making sure i hear it correctly.

"ne~ Then the girl will be so curious by your action that she can't stay away. That's when you got yourself a home-run" I laugh hearing his terminology. Home-run? It is a game indeed.

DaeSung seems to be more energetic as we talk more of love and its game. It may not seem like it, but DaeSung is a good player in this game of love and he knows a trick or two to make girls' knees shakes and spines shivers. Without us realising the time, DaeSung's mom peeked out the glass door and shouted at us telling us to come in to have lunch and to stop our girly giggling. I look at DaeSung and i can feel his elevated mood already. His smile is worth the long journey to this place. We ran back into the house and had our noise and taste buds filled with DaeSung's mom's delicous SamGyeTang. As i eat this delicious chicken, my mind starts to wander around on how to be hard-to-get and planning my next move in order to win this game.