maybe a lot of you are missing daragon moments.kekeke.This chapter is for you.

 

 

Jiyong POV

Here I am waiting near the gate standing beside my car waiting for a certain girl to leave the campus.

 

“Apologize? Am I crazy? Why would I?” I muttered to myself. “Flirt! Does she not see that those two losers are taking advantage of her, she’s so naïve, and she can’t differentiate kindness and flirting..?” I scratched my head in annoyance.

‘Chincha, but I still can’t believe I’m waiting for her.’

 

I broke out of my thoughts as I saw the girl I am waiting for heading my direction. She was busily texting on her phone so I think she does not notice me. I intentionally blocked her way, and just after a few steps she bumped to my body.

 

She immediately nursed her forehead as she apologize, “Mianhe! I wasn’t looking at the way!”

I stopped at that statement, ‘Déjà vu? Why does it feel like this happened already?’

She continued to bow afraid to look at me so I didn’t respond. “Mianhe! I’m really sorry.” ‘She’s really scared huh?’

I snorted at her actions, “so your friends are at least teaching you manners.”

 

She quickly looked at me upon recognizing my voice. “You!” She pointed at my face. “I take that back!”

“What?!”

 

“I said I take back my apology, you don’t deserve it!” She snapped at me.

 

I smiled at her childishness. “I don’t think it works that way. You just can’t take it back.” I teased to further annoy her.

“Whatever!” She turned to my right but I blocked her. She turned to the other direction but I was quick to block her again. “What now? What do you want?”

 

“Why are you gonna give it to me?” I continued to .

“You wish!” She glared and showed her tongue out.

 

 

 “Anyways, let’s go!” I grabbed her hand as I dragged her to my car.

“Yah, Where are you taking me?! Let go of my hand!” I ignored her statement and felt force in my hand as she tries to get out of my grasp. “I’ll scream ! I’m warning you!”

“I like to see you try it! Besides, I’ll just drive you home.” I glared at her this time and then smirked, “And if you did scream, I’ll have to find a way to shut that mouth of yours!”

“You think you can scare me?!” She then started to jump and scream, “HELP! ANYBODY! I’m being kidnapped by a ert! HELP!”

 

‘Aissht, this girl really is testing my patience!’

“Stop screaming!” I held a hand on to cover it but she quickly pushed it off and continued screaming.

 

“! A ert is on the loose! ! HELP!”

 

I really couldn’t take it anymore as I hold to her shoulders and crashed my lips to hers. It should just be a one second thing to shut from screaming but the moment our lips touched, I couldn’t stop myself but continue on kissing her. I felt her tensing at first so I didn’t budge and tighten my hold on her.  I continued on kissing her and slowly I felt her relax a bit so I opened my eyes to only see her eyes closed.

Then to my surprise, she slowly responded to my kiss. I could feel myself at bliss at the moment. That’s it I’m good! This is beyond happiness. I smiled in between our kiss and moved my hands to her cheeks and jaws.
 

 

 

“Dara?!”
 

 

 

 

And that stupid call interrupted our moment. She pushed me off her with wide eyes and looked around us. Students are already piled up in front of us at a distance witnessing the kiss. She looked back at me and slapped me quickly. She run out of the place in panic and zoomed her way to the gates of the university.

 

I held my face where the slap landed and shifted my gaze towards the crowd. In front of them are BIGBANG members and her two loser friends. Judging from the voice that called Dara earlier, that will be Minho who called her. ‘I’ll get you for that son of a b**ch.’

 

But before I could step to them nearer, the two quickly run out to follow Dara.

I bit my lower lip in anger and shouted with clenched jaw. “What are you all looking at? Get out of here before I memorize all your faces and beat up your asses!” They quickly run out to the gates too.
 

 

::

 

 

 

I don’t know why I am here again at her grave.

“Sun Hee.” I lied down on the grass again. “Is this bad? I know I can’t replace you but I don’t understand my feelings right now. Do I really feel these emotions to her or because I see you in her? I’m so confused.”

The kiss with Dara earlier made me realize and complicate few things in my mind. First, I can’t get enough of her. Second, I am really jealous of those two bastards and I can’t wait to beat them up if I had a chance. But Dara would hate me more if I did that. Third, there is tiny bit of chance I can make her like me considering she kissed me back. But the bigger question is…why am I feeling this way? Doing crazy things to her? Acting jealous? I don’t have the right in the first place. She’s not you except for that face that I still can’t figure out why in the hell the two of you look like.”

 

I sat up from lying down and hugged one of my knees, “Help me out Sun Hee… Why am I feeling this way?”

 

I closed my eyes as I remember the afternoon after Sun Hee’s funeral.
 

 

[Flashback]

I went to her grave and cried silently.

“You liar! How could you do this to me? You promised we’ll be together, start a family and grow old together.  You’re such a liar!”

I knelt down to ground with tears pouring out of my eyes and traced her name on the grave.

“You got me hoping for nothing?! Why didn’t you fight for me? If you really love me, you wouldn’t have died. You should’ve fight that goddamn death for me! Because I’ll do the same for you!"

 

“AAARRrrrGGGHHH!”I shouted the pain in my heart and punched my chest over and over again.

 

I continue to shout endless whimpers, “Why did you f***ing hug me that night? Why did you save me and kill me at the same time? You fool!”

 

 

“...Why did you have to die?!” I sniffed hard and wiped the tears out of my face.

 

 

“I made a decision already. It’s time.” I stood up from my position and looked at the ground where her name was engraved. I held out a pocket knife and positioned it in my stomach.

 

 

“We’ll be together again. Wait for me!” I closed my eyes and readying myself to the pain. But I know, no pain can compare to hell I am right now.
 

But before I could stab myself, I felt the ground on my back.
 

 

 

 

“What are you playing at punk?!” ‘Am I dead? Wait, who was that?’

I opened my eyes only to see a man with a stern face but with concerned eyes. He walked to the place where my knife landed and picked it up. I faced the sky and exclaimed, “Why won’t you just let me die already?”

 

“Yaah kid… You, young people, I really can’t understand your way of thinking. You think killing yourself would end all of it? You’re wrong!”

I looked at him and saw him already sitting beside me. “You don’t understand…”I muttered under my breath.

 

He continued, “You all think you have the biggest problems in the world pitying yourself… She must be really important to you but then she just suddenly left… And you think you can end it by doing this.”He held out the knife.  

 

 

“I can see you even hate her for leaving you for letting you suffer and experience the loneliness without her.”
 

Silence followed his statement.
 

 

 

 

 

“I assume you have no friends and family.”

 

 

“What?!” ‘This man must be crazy how he could say I have no….’ I immediately looked at him.

 

 

He smirked. “Well, that’s the only lucid reason I can think of for you to kill yourself. That nobody will miss you, will cry for you, will be sad for you, will mourn for you, and will care for you if you’re gone. That nobody will feel the suffering and loneliness you had just left or probably still feeling.”

 

I closed my eyes again as realization hit me and faces of my family and friends evaded my mind. Tears started to form of the corners of my eyes again. “I just want to numb myself from the pain. I can’t take it anymore. You wouldn’t understand.”

 

 

 

“I perfectly understand son, believe or not.”

 

“How come?”

 

“My daughter died recently too.  And you know what, I couldn’t tell anybody because ..”My gaze stayed at his form. “..you see I made a huge mistake in the past…”He paused.
 

 

 

 

“Depression really hurts; it pulls you down further to hell and jogging on your memory,  thinking how you spent every second with her makes you hurt even more ”

 

I was confused by his story but was more focused on how he managed to overcome the pain.

 

“So how did you beat the pain?”

 

“I still have my wife and son with me..and.. anyway, I focused on them. I promised myself I would do everything to make them happier than they already are… Putting aside the pain…I know you have such strong and fulfilling future filled with happiness with your family and friends.”

 

He looked at me and smiled.

 

“So I believe you still have your family and your friends right? Be with them always, I’m sure they’ll help you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

 

“You think I can beat the pain too?”I looked again at her grave.

 

“No one knows what they are really capable of…”

 

“I’ll probably miss her all my life..”

 

“When you find yourself missing an important person in your life that is not with you that doesn’t mean that person doesn’t belong in your life anymore. Missing someone is just part of moving on. And moving on doesn’t mean you have to forget who that person was to you, you just need to accept the fact that they aren’t there anymore.”
 

He got up and walked closer to Sun Hee’s grave. He carefully traced his fingers on her name as if caressing a face. I saw the rim of his eyes get watery. But he inhaled deeply and looked up restraining the tears to build up further. He looked at me and put the knife beside me.
 

“I hope you won’t use this other than in your kitchen.”He joked for a moment. But concern enveloped him face thereafter.


 

 

“Sometimes, we have to let go of what’s killing us, even if it kills us to let go. Remember, it’s not called giving up, it’s doing what is best for yourself, moving on.”

[End of Flashback]

 

 

I opened my eyes and smiled.

 

 

"Sun Hee. I know there are a lot of things I can’t change. I know there are a lot of situations apologies hold no bearings. I know twists of fate bring people together and things happen for a reason that can tear them apart. I know I will never forget you, for you will always have a place in my heart. But it’s time. I know I’m ready to move on.”
 

 

 

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Annyeong! I was suppose to post this tomorrow.. but someone persuaded me to post this tonight. kekeke.(you know who you are...)

 

Anyways, so i don't know if i can update for tomorrow, but i'll try (no promises though.)

 

What do you think of this chapter? I had a hard time writing this (esp. the flashback part) because i'm really not good at giving advice so i don't think if it would really help a sad/depressed person overcome his suffering.. But i hope you all do get the message.. coz i know y'all are smart. kekeke.

 

Jalja!!!