So, a week after Jin proposed the idea to Changmin oppa, all of us decided not to go on with that idea. The idea of making a club with all of us as members is just ridiculous. I said it as a joke, Jin took it seriously and even suggested it to Changmin oppa. Jin can’t get any weirder than that really.

After what happened to Sungyeol, I came to my senses that I no longer care about the rumors. I had to dream of Minhyuk and see Sungyeol fall sick to make me realize that the rumors won’t really make me weak at all. I don’t want people around me to be worried about me or fall sick because of me.

I guess what Sungyeol said before this when we fought was right after all. Before this we fought because he thinks I’m really stupid for even care about the stupid rumors.

[FLASHBACK]

I follow Sungyeol’s fast step to the cafeteria. The thing is why is he even walking so fast? He will usually wait for me after class. However he suddenly head somewhere else, not the cafeteria. We actually went to the back of our class building and he stops his step.

“Why are we here?” I ask him.

“I want you to stop doing stupid things and get your mind straight on more important things!” Sungyeol said to me.

“Why are you scolding me like this? What rights do you have to say those things to me?” I said angrily.

“I care about you and seeing you being troubled about something stupid annoys me! Rumors are just rumors, people won’t stop talking! So you need to stop caring about it! Unless your whole life depends on it, I don’t mind you caring and defending yourself against those stupid rumors!” Sungyeol said angrily.

“My family pride depends on it. My family!”

“Rumors, ignore them if it’s not true! The more you try defending yourself, the more people think it’s real!!” Sungyeol said trying so hard to not scream at me.

“Our ways are different! Do not try to correct my way!” I said to Sungyeol and walk away leaving him behind.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

I texted Sungyeol asking where he is and he told me that he is sitting at the place where we fought. Did he remember the same thing too? Why is he sitting there all of a sudden? I ignore my curiosity and just walk towards where Sungyeol is sitting.

I took a sit next to where he’s sitting and he keep on looking at the sky. The sky is so pretty right now, clear blue and it looks really calm, just like how my feeling is right now. Something change between us, it’s a good thing, not a bad one. We were able to understand each other more, even though there’s more to Sungyeol than what I know now.

The person who used to be a jerk in my eye, is a really warm guy, someone who’s hurt after his mom left, but trying to cope with all of it by doing what his mom does best, charity. That ‘jerk’ tries to get the best of all the things his mom had done before. Before he knows it, what started because of his mom turn out to be something he’s doing for himself.

“Do you know why I like coming behind this building the most?” Sungyeol asks when I lay my head on his shoulder. It’s a reflex now, and none of us mind the fact that we’re getting more closer. I shook my head, responding to his question.

“Because this is where I can see clear sky. Another place is at the main entrance but I don’t like it there because there are way too many people there.” Sungyeol said.

“The clear sky can be dark too at times, and sometimes it rains, and even has thunder and lightning. The peaceful sky can’t stay peaceful all the time, but it will become peaceful once again when all the thunder and lightning is gone.” I said to Sungyeol. Just like someone’s life, people can’t be happy all the time.

What I wish to do right now is to hold his hand and give him strength. For some reason, after I got my strength from the people around me after being depressed, Sungyeol lost his strength after that. It feels like I took away his strength and now he’s weak because of me. I want to hold his hand and tell him that everything will be alright. Instead of laying my head on his shoulder, I want him to lay his head on my shoulder. I want to do just anything so that he can gain back his strength.

How painful has it been for his father after his mom left? Looking at Sungyeol reminds his father to his mother. And just how painful is it for Sungyeol to lose not only his mother but also his father. How painful it is for him to not be able to call his father to come back home even if he needs him right now?

I don’t judge people, I don’t have the rights to judge them. I can’t judge Sungyeol’s father for not being here when Sungyeol need a father. I can’t judge Sungyeol’s father because I never experienced losing a family member before. Even if my parents are rarely at home, they are still with us. I can’t just say Sungyeol’s father is irresponsible just because he’s not here when Sungyeol fall sick. I can’t judge people, because I was never in their position to understand why they do what they did.

I raise my head and look at Sungyeol. I push myself so that I’m sitting a bit higher than my position right now. Sungyeol keep on looking at the sky and was surprised when I took his head and lay it on my shoulders. He didn’t do anything and just obey it and let out a sigh. I can feel teardrops on my hands, just cry Sungyeol, let it all out.