AN: Hi guys... Well.. We're getting close to the end steadily. And I'm in a bad mood so... Don't expect a lot from this chapter. I'll try to keep it as happy and stuff as possible, but I can't guarantee anything. Well, whatever, here the new chapter.

It's kinda funny how time speeds up once you know that your dying. Or at least to me, it felt like the days just flew by quicker and quicker. I hated it.. Every day, I got a little weaker. At first it was nothing much, the headaches got a bit worse, and I couldn't eat too much, but none of these was anything knew, so I didn't really care about them. Soon, the medicine I'd gotten in the hospital wasn't enough to soothe the ache that slowly crept into my whole body. It was getting harder and harder to get up every single day and try to act like nothing was wrong. Of course, everyone around me knew that everything was, but it seemed like they tried to pretend that it was fine. For my sake. 

So for them, I shrugged it off. I wanted to live my life to the fullest with my friends and family, so I didn't care about the pain. I only cared about having fun.

One day, Jonghyun took me out to the beach. It was too warm, so we didn't even go near the water, but we took our time to sit in the sand and admire the sea.

'It's beautiful, huh?'I asked him softly, lay my head on his lap. I heard him hum an answer, then I felt his hair caress my hair gently. Gently, as if he thought that I was going to break. And I probably was, just not yet. The dull pain was in my body, growing by every moment, but I ignored it. It was nothing I couldn't handle. And... I was happy, because I was in his arms. Whenever he wa

'I love you..'He whispered, taking one of my hands in his. I didn't answer, just smiled softly and closed my eyes, basking in the spring sun's warmth. Slowly, I dozed off..

I woke up in the bed now I officially shared with Jonghyun, wrapped into my favorite blanket. He wasn't there, but there was a small note on the nightstand that said that he only ran out to get some food or something. I smiled at the messily-drawn heart that was at the end of the note.

My head started to hurt, but it was far from unbearable. I sighed softly, looking at ceiling, thinking about what would happen if the house suddenly collapsed and I would die under the ruins.

I admit, it was really weird to think about that... I actually imagined the fear that I would fear, the pain that would be caused by the debris crushing my weak body, the screams coming from my own mouth, yet seeming so unfamiliar that would fill the remains as I would slowly pass out and never wake up again.

And.. as I thought about it... I got more and more scared of dying. Until then, I didn't really fear the pain that I would feel while passing on, but... As I visioned myself writhing under a huge piece of the ceiling that was probably wooden, I wasn't sure, I realized that I was. I was really scared of what was going to happened to me soon.

I didn't want to die. A tear slid down my face in realization, followed by another and another.. And soon, I was sobbing soundlessly, hugging my knees to my stomach.

It was like the fact that I was... I was really going to die had just sunk in. While imagining the ceiling crashing onto me. I wasn't sure how that weird little thought had caused me to break down, but... I just couldn't stop sobbing.

Life was unfair. When I was young, I would always dream of living a long, happy life. I wanted to become a dancer or a fashion designer. Or both. Or maybe neither. I would have loved to be a language teacher as well. I imagined Jonghuyn growing old with me, maybe with an adopted child of ours.

I always wondered who Taemin would end up with. I mean, yeah, it was sort of obvious that he and Minho just.. had chemistry, but still. Taemin used to be such a cute, innocent boy (that he still was, but he had changed and sort of.. had grown up as the time passed), and Minho was such a stupid, rude frog. Yet deep down, I knew that those two were going to get together sooner or later.

I'd think about what Jonghyun would become. I imagined him as either a famous musician or a Music teacher. I was pretty sure that he would be either because of his eternal love for music.

But.. Reality had to slap me hard in the face. I became sick and everything turned wrong. I left, not telling anyone, and just got sicker and sicker. And still, I returned home, on the brink of death. And my last months, weeks, days were spent with my family.. I was... Happy, I think.

But not then as I was still curled up on the bed, waiting for my sobs to subside. And even Jonghyun wasn't there to calm me down. Well, not yet, at least. But, it was better like that, I think. I was alone, yes, but I could finally think about anything and everything. I could think about how scared of death I was, despite how I didn't really care about it for years. I thought about how much I loved Jonghyun, my best friend, my boyfriend... My first and only love..

I thought about how I cared about little innocent Taeminnie who wasn't so innocent anymore. He had a boyfriend now, though, one that was going to protect him. Well, he promised it to me, so hopefully he was going to do it. If not.. Well, I was going to find a way to get rid of that damn frog.

I thought about Jonghyun's parents. They treated me like I was their own. They treasured me, as my parents used to years ago... And... Just the mere thought of my parents made me sigh. I thought about them too... I wasn't mad at them... Somehow, I could understand them..

And slowly, my sobs turned into soft hiccups... Before I knew, I fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of a world where I wasn't dying...