AN: Hi guys... I seriously hate myself cause of how this story is turning out. I wanted this to have a lot of quite, fluffy moment and all and I just can't add them. And those who've read other fics from me know that I can write very fluffy chapters.. But not with this one. So... I'll try to add bit and pieces of fluff where I can, but I guess this will be.. angsty... Sorry T.T

And yes, I decided on the ending... of course, I won't tell you what it will be yet, but at least I know... It might change depending to my mood, but if it does, I'll write a oneshot based on the scene... 

The good news is that I have two more days of school (Friday and Saturday-.-' And we're even writing a Physics test on Saturday T.T) and I'll be free for a whole week :D So expect a lot of updates from me:D

'Yeah...'I answered Jonghyun, taking a deep breath. I looked into the mirror for another moment. A pale, sick boy was staring back at me. It wasn't me. It was someone who was dying. I wasn't him. I was going to be alright. 

My lower lip started to tremble as I once again thought of dying. I wasn't afraid, and I didn't care anymore, but I felt guilty for hurting the people I loved. 'No, don't think about it.'I told myself, and glared at my reflection. 'You are going on a date with your boyfriend, be happy..' I forced a smile onto my face, and walked downstairs slowly. Every step seemed heavier and heavier, the last few steps were like someone was trying to pull me back. But Jonghyun was waiting for me in the hall. I was going to make him happy, even if I had to suffer.

'Finally you're here..'he smiled at me and pulled me into his arms. I smiled and laid my head on his strong, well-built chest. I inhaled his calming, masculine scent, and smiled. I wasn't just 'there', I was home. In his arms.

'Well, sorry for wanting to look pretty for my boyfriend.'I giggled painfully. It hurt to know how fake my giggle was. I hated it. I hated how every smile, every giggle, every grin was somewhat fake. Maybe because I knew that they wouldn't last long. 

I felt safe in his arms, and I felt loved, but sometimes, it wasn't enough. He wasn't going to save me buy hugging me. I was going to die, and he couldn't do anything. I hated myself for being this weak, and sometimes I hated him for being weak and not being able to save me. But I loved him much more. And I didn't even hate him. I just liked to think that someone other was the one to blame for me dying, and not me. 

He tightened his hold around my waist, it almost hurt. But I didn't care. At least he didn't hate me for being sick. He didn't hate me because I was going to leave him soon. He just wanted to be with me. He laid his head on the top of mine. I smiled, I always loved when we just stood like this. Even though I felt weak, it seemed like time stopped for us, and it was only the two of us. 

I felt something warm and wet on my hair. My eyes widened. He was crying. Because of me. 'Stupid..'I told myself.

'Don't leave me, okay? Stay with me, for ever...'he whispered. His voice was raspy, and soft, almost inaudible. He knew that it was impossible. 

'I want to.. But... If anything happens, I want you to forget me. I want you to forget everything that had happened while I was here. And I will watch you, and I will wait for you.'I whispered. He grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me away gently, not too far. He was still holding my shoulders, and looked into my eyes. 

'I will never forget you. I love you, and I will love you until I die.'he whispered, and crashed his lips onto mine. The kiss was sweet and slow. Slowly, he pulled me closer, his hands wrapped around my waist once again. I closed my eyes, and just enjoyed the kiss. He pulled away shortly, and just held me for what seemed like hours. 'I love you...'he repeated over and over.

'I love you too...'I whispered, and smiled at him shyly. I knew that my cheeks were a deep shade of red, I still blushed when he acted this sweetly towards me. My heart was racing as I looked up at him again.

Even after being in love with him for years, everything felt like it was our 'first'. The kisses, him walking me home, saying those three words...

'I love you...'he whispered once again, and I smiled at him truthfully. He made me happy. He loved me, and he was going to love me for ever. And I was going to love him until I died. And more.. 'But let's go now..'he chuckled, and pulled away. I pouted a bit, missing his warmth. But at least he took my hand gently. I smiled as he intertwined our fingers as we left my house. I made sure to lock the door, and we were on our way finally. The weather was beautiful. The sun was shining brightly, and there were only a few clouds on the beautiful, blue sky. 'This might be my last spring...'the thought flashed through my mind, but I bit into my lip, and forced myself to smile. I didn't care. I was going to my boyfriend's house, and I was going to enjoy it.

He only lived a short distance away, but even the twenty minute walk seemed to long for me. My legs were aching, and after fifteen minutes, my lungs started to burn. 'C...could we stop for a minute?' I asked Jonghyun breathlessly. I knew that I shouldn't have been this exhausted after such a short walk, but at that moment, it didn't matter. 

'Oh my God, love, are you okay? You look so pale..'he whispered as we stopped. I rolled my eyes at his sentence, I wasn't feeling that bad.

'Y..yeah,I just need a minute...'I whispered and he nodded. I took long, deep breaths, and started to feel a bit better. I guess my lungs were weakening gradually. 'I'm OK.' I said after a few minutes. Jonghyun sighed deeply, and caressed my cheek gently. I smiled at his gently touch.

'Get better soon, or I won't take you to our favorite restaurant.'he teased me. I pouted as cutely as I could. That place was where he asked me to be his boyfriend. It was small, but beautiful.

'I really hope that I will be better then.'I smiled and we continued to walk to his house. 'I wish that I was alright..'I thought, but smiled at him when he squeezed my hand gently.