AN: Hi guys :D I can finally say that I am refreshed... Or something like that since I'm still tired as hell, but I'm happy too :D I'm kind of thinking about changing the poster. Not cause I don't like it, because I really love it. But because of an other thing.. I doubt that you'd like it if I told you xDDD

Also, I think I am going to have a permanent phobia of Cupcakes.. (if you understand, comment xDDD)

The day after talking to Taemin passed really slowly. My stomach started to hurt after an hour or two, but I ignored it, since it wasn't too bad. And seriously, I was used to it, why on Earth would have I cried or anything?

At lunch, I sat with my friends. It was quite awkward, because we weren't really used to being our group again, so at first no one really talked. Then Taemin asked me about my life in the city. It was a bit hard to speak about it without telling him that I was dying, so I just told him that school was the same and that our house was really small, but homey. I think he knew that I was hiding something, but he didn't say anything, so it was alright.

The remaining classes passed too quickly. It was quite cold and my stomach hurt even more. Jonghyun 'forced' me to eat some of the gross cafeteria food, and it just made it even worse. Seriously, I don't know what that thing was, but I swear that it was too green to be healthy. And Jonghyun just had to feed me, right? 

Okay, this kind of sounds like I was annoyed by my boyfriend, while it wasn't true. I couldn't have been happier to be with him. When I was in his arms, I felt strong. Not the type of strong when you just think you are strong but in reality you are weak, but the type of strong when you are strong and you know that nothing can defeat you. It was a really good feeling. 

When it was finally the end of the day, Jonghyun decided that we would hang out at my place. At first I didn't want to, since I was feeling sick, but he looked at me with his wide, puppy eyes and I couldn't help but say yes. I felt like such a girl at those times. And it wasn't good. I was a boy. Maybe I was feminine, and maybe I was a diva, but I was a boy. And still, he made me feel like a little girl with a crush. It was a bit irritating, but I loved him

As we were sitting in my room (Jonghyun was sitting on my bed and I was sitting on his lap, his strong arms around my waist, while Taemin was on the floor next to Minho, only a few centimeters apart) I started to feel a bit better. I mean, my stomach hurt a lot and I was sure that it would only get worse until I managed to get some medicine (or threw up, since sometimes it made the pain to go away, but honestly, who in their right mind wanted to throw up?) but being with my friends made me happy. It was like I could finally be happy. 

'Umma, I know that Jonghyun isn't supposed to know about it, but I'm sure that you've already told him, so are you still ill? Or are you healthy now?' Taemin asked me suddenly. I winced, this was the question I didn't want him to ask. At.all. I didn't want to lie to him, but honestly, what else could I have done when he looked at me with huge, hopeful eyes. Jonghyun tightened his grip on my waist, the mention of my disease seemed to anger him (and seriously, I understood it completely). So I took a deep breath, and looked at Taemin with a smile on my face. I looked at Minho from the corner of my eye. He shook his head, and mouthed 'tell him.' I shook my head a bit.

'Yes Minnie, I am completely healed up, and it seems like the disease won't come back anymore.'I smiled as I lied to him. I was good at lying, and for once, I was glad. Jonghyun tightened his grip on me even more, and it was a bit painful. He had to realize that I bruised much more easily now. I hissed softly at the pain I felt, but tried to hide it. Taemin didn't seem to notice anything, he just stood up and pulled me up from Jonghyun's lap, so he could do a little 'victory dance' with me. I was a bit dizzy, but I danced with him. He was so happy, yelling 'umma's fine, umma's fine' loudly. It broke my heart to realize that I had lied to him,and that soon, I would leave him alone. I felt like bad person. But at least Taemin seemed happy, and that was all that mattered to me. 

Jonghyun pulled me back on his lap and started to my hair gently. 'What do you think you're doing?' he whispered into my ear when we could see that Taemin was talking to Minho animatedly, telling him how happy he was. The other was simply glaring at me. I sighed as I turned to Jonghyun.

'I can't just tell him, Jonghyun. Do you really think that he would be able to smile like this after he found it out?' I whispered softly, so Taemin wouldn't hear it.

'But what you're doing is even worse, what happens if you...'he started but he didn't finish his sentence. But we both knew what he meant.

'Well, I won't have to see his face then, so this is fine with me...'I said. 'I mean, do you really think that now that you 'dragged' me back here, I want to live my last few months wallowing in pity? Because I don't. We are going to have fun. And if he knew it, he wouldn't be able to be happy.'I corrected myself when I realized how selfish I had sounded. Taemin and Minho were still talking (well, Taemin did most of the talk) and they didn't even notice that we were 'arguing'. 

'You are not doing the right thing. But I am going to be there for you.' Jonghyun whispered. My eyes watered as I stared into his eyes.'I love you..'he whispered and leant in to kiss me gently. I smiled as I kissed him back. 

They left after an hour or two, and I was a bit relieved because finally I had the chance to take some medicine. Every single time I went to the kitchen to take it, Taemin would follow me, and since I didn't want him to suspect anything, he couldn't know that I felt ill either, so I couldn't take it.

I sighed as I swallowed the pill. My face scrunched up in disgust, it tasted really gross. I hated taking medicine, though it was for my own good.

After some time, it started to kick in, and finally my stomach didn't hurt as much. I decided to do my homework quickly, and smiled when I finished it very soon. I liked being smart. 

The rest of my afternoon and evening was very boring, I mainly stayed in my room and listened to music. I was glad to have my friends and everything, but I hated how guilty I felt for not telling Taemin. Honestly, I didn't know what to do.