KEY POV

Did I just heard it right?? The money came from that annoying girl?! I don’t know why but I felt mad about that. I immediately opened the door and looked at Jong Hyun with a very angry eyes.

“k..Key?” I saw Jong Hyun’s shock face, wide eyes and jaw drop.

“who’s your talking with at the phone?” I crossed my arms and glared at him.

“did.. did you hear—“

“yes! I heard it all! How dare you to accept her money?! Hyung why didn’t you tell me the money came from her?!” I said half shouted.

“because she said she doesn’t like you to find out. That’s why.” He explained.

“where is she?” I said under my heavy breath.

“why?” he asked.

“I need to talk to her.” I said impatiently.

“but why? Key just let her be ok? she just helped you. At least she finally did a good thing for you.” Jong Hyun said.

“are you gonna tell me where the hell she is or no?!” I yelled at her that made him jump a bit on his bed.

I think I yelled a bit loud because Onew hyung went out from his room with his one eye closed.

“what’s wrong Key?” he asked with a sleepy tone.

I looked at him then to Jong Hyun. “tell me where she is!” I yelled at Jong Hyun again.

“Key…” Jong Hyun was trying to calm down me but it’s nonsense. I don’t want people’s help especially with that girl!

“I’m getting impatient hyung!” I said stomping my feet.

I saw him sighed and brushed his hands on his hair. “fine. She’s working at Myeongdong street at this moment.” After he said it, I rushed inside of my room and took out my jacket. I can hear Jong Hyun hyung following me and telling me to not to go to her. And also the confused Onew hyung kept on asking what’s happening and where am I going.

I totally ignored them and went to Myeongdong street at 12:30 midnight.

JEE IN POV

I was so happy this night because finally, the money which I really worked for was a big help to my one and only love.

Although it’s very tiring to work especially when you knew that you won’t be having a salary. But I need to do it. I need to hold on my promise to my boss.

Everything will be ok just for my Key. Even though he’ll get mad at me because I helped him, I don’t care. As long as he can’t hit my inner most heart, I’ll endure anything just for him.

And just as time I was thinking about him, I saw his figure walking towards me. I shook my head and blinked my eyes for several times to make sure I am not hallucinating. And yes indeed! It was him. Walking towards me with… furious eyes? hey.. what’s wrong with him?

I smiled widely to him and ran also towards him so that he won’t get more time to walk closer to me. I smiled widely at him and waved my hands enthusiastically even though he’s already standing in front of me.

“Oppa, why are you here? It’s already late.” I said still smiling. Although I am worried about him, I am still happy I saw him this night.

“you.” He started. I felt like his voice is angry. “yes?” I asked titlting my head because of so much confusions.

“is it you?” he asked with a scary voice and a very scary looks. His voice wasn’t loud, almost whispering but I can feel that he’s only controlling himself.

“me? What me?” I asked again. My smile was already fade. I am getting scared on him. What’s with Key? Why is he acting abnormal?

“don’t act innocent!!” he shouted at me and I literally jumped where I stood up.

“Key!” I heard someone called behind him, and when I peeked who it is, I saw Jong Hyun oppa panting.

I then looked at Key oppa, I think he knew already.  I gulped and didn’t dared to meet his deadly glare.

“are you stupid?! Do you think helping me with those monies makes me love you?!!! Don’t you have any life?! Why do you always interfering my own life?!!! My private life?! You know what, you are such a ridiculous girl!!! I’ve never seen a girl like you!!! Don’t you have any parents to tell you what is wrong and right? Don’t you have parents to tell you when do you need to stop or to continue?!!!! I’m so sick of you Kim Jee In!!! get out of my life!!!! Never pity me or never helped me with my personal matters!!!! Stop stalking me!!! I don’t love you and I will never love you!!!! You are only such a desperate fan who doesn’t know how to feel a shame!!  You are not a fan either! You are a stalker! An annoying stalker! You can’t buy my heart ok?! stop meddling in my life and get out of SHINee’s lives! You made my life more miserable! My life is almost perfect  before but then everything turns abnormal when I met you!!!!! You are freak! An annoying girl. A desperate girl who buy love! A girl who’s willing to be pushed million times just to love you back!! Shame on you!”

Ok. he said so much. He said almost hurtful words I’ve never wanted to hear in my whole life. I know he doesn’t like me but I think, insulting me is too much. I felt embarrassed. People around me was looking at us. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to cry. But I just felt something hot running down through my cheeks. He hurt my heart. He broke my heart. In front of many people.

I bit my lips to control my sobs and lifted my head to meet his mad eyes. our eyes met but I’ve never felt anything now, only pain and insults.

“mianhae…. i.. I never thought.. that you hated me that much. Oppa, I never thought that helping your cousin is buying also your heart for you. I’m sorry if I just want to help you…”

I broke. I can’t control my own tears now and when I gave up controlling it, I started to cry.. not a childish cry but a cry of a hurt person. A cry of a girl that has been rejected by the boy she dreamt for how many years.

“I might be an annoyance and clingy to you but I am not desperate oppa. I just want to be with you for some times because you gave me happiness. It’s really hard to live alone since you’ve started to know everything in this world. It’s only you who helped me to smile every day, letting me to feel how wonderful life is. Oppa, sorry. Sorry for making your life a mess. Sorry for helping your cousin from jail. I just want to see you happy because I know that thinking your cousin inside there is a big burden for you. And I don’t like to see you sad. It’s because I love you. I’ve been so vocal about my feelings for you but I only got nothing. Except from glares, push, coldness. I tried to endure all those things because I love you. i am not expecting you to love me because I know that it was way too impossible. You hate me until the last string of your hair. i just wanted you to respect me too. Even just a bit. I am a fan, nor a stalker for you. that’s all our relationship I can tell that we have. I don’t even expect that I will be your friend someday. Sorry for being so selfish.. sorry for disturbing SHINee’s lives.” I sniffed and bowed 90 degrees.

I am not crying now, but instead, sobbing. It’s my very first time to cry because of a boy. And it’s so sad that it was because of him.

I lifted again my head and wiped my tears, trying to stop my sobs although I am still hiccupping.

“from now *hiccup* on oppa. *hiccup* I won’t hang out with you *hiccup* anymore. *hiccup* this will be the last time we’ll talk *hiccup* this close.” Just as I closed my eyes, a very fast tears escaped from my eyes and I covered my mouth with the back of my hands.

“J..Jee…” I heard him calling me with a whisper tone.

Too late oppa, you’ve already hurt me. I hate you for putting me down.

“annyeong oppa.” I said as I bowed again infront of him. Before I turned my back on him, I also bowed at Jong Hyun oppa who was looking at me pitiful behind Key.

And with that, I finally started to walk and that’s it! I finally let go my tears. I can cry freely now. Now that Key’s not in front of me. Maybe he’s happy now. He finally got rid of me.

GOODBYE KEY OPPA. GOODBYE SHINee

KEY POV

Did I just saw her cried? I don’t know but I felt guilty for shouting at her. Especially those words. I’ve never seen her cried like that. Jee In I’m sorry.

I want to ran after her but I was frozen in my place. I felt like I lost someone. A very important person who completes me. The time when her tears fell, it sent me a million needles that poked my heart. I am hurt seeing her crying. And the worst is, it’s because of me why she cried.

I just got mad at her because I hate to see people around me suffering because of me. I felt like I am a burden. I got mad because that’s the time I realized that maybe she was sent at the hospital before because she over worked herself. And I felt guilty because she worked for me. Not literally for me but for my cousin. I know she won’t do that if it’s not me. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Especially to Jee In. I just want her to know that she shouldn’t do that but I failed. I hurt her. I insulted the whole her. I was out boundary. Stupid me.

Stupid me for hurting the girl…

I like.

“you know, I’ve never imagined you’ll do that to her. I felt sad when I saw her tears. Seeing her like that is not what I wanted. Key, why are you so heartless? Why did you insulted the whole her? You don’t know how painful the words you’ve said a while ago. Even dogs can't accept those. You let her feel that she was the worst girl here on earth. I can’t believe what you’ve done.” Jong Hyun hyung said with a very disappointed tone on his voice. I looked at him straightly on his eyes and he shook his head as he started to walk and left me standing on my place.

JEE IN POV

I don’t know how but I still managed to walk home. Thank God I didn’t get lost even though my mind is out of my whole body.

I wasn’t crying anymore but I felt like my eyes was carrying a two socks of rice. Damn. That’s why I really don’t like to cry. I have a headache in the end a swollen eyes. tsk! Key oppa it’s all your fault! Hmp!

I immediately entered inside of my house, not even bothering to open the lights. I went upstairs and when I open my door, the pain from my heart came back again.

Why?

Because I immediately saw SHINee’s poster, and Key’s big poster on top of my bed. Sigh. Is this really the end for me being a shawol?

I took out my phone and called Seul Ki. I need someone to talk to. It took a 5 try before she answered my call with a hoarse voice.

“yeobosaeyo?”

“Seul Ki ah~” I said as I started to pout again with teary eyes.

“Jee In ah~ wae….” Seul Ki asked with a sleepy tone.

“I’m already tired…” I said as my tears fell again.

“then go sleep now if you are already tired. We still have classes tomorrow. What time is it?...... omo.. Jee In, it’s still 1 am. Why are you calling me this wee hour?” Seul Ki said as she groaned.

“I’m tired loving Key.” I said and again, another tear came.

“finally. Is that your problem? It’s not a problem girl, that’s a relieved. Now you know the reality from fantasy. He will never be yours girl. Stop chasing him ok? he doesn’t know how to love and treat you nicely. He always shout on you, push you away and humiliate you in front of many people. So don’t waste your tears and time on him. Just go and get some sleep.” Seul ki said.

I sniffed and nod. “ne Seul Ki, gomawo.” I said.

“it’s ok. now let’s go sleep ok?”

“ok. goodnight. Sorry for disturbing you.” I said as I ended the call.

Ther’s no light in my room. Only the moon gives light in my room. It was full moon that’s why. I roamed my eyes around my room. That’s when I realized I’ve been so much obsessed with SHINee. Key oppa is right. I am too much for them. I am not a fan but an obsessed stalker. I think I need to change now. I need to learn how to live alone without Key oppa in my life.

I immediately wiped my tears, sniffed and forced to smile. I stood up and took a big box. I started to take out all my SHINee items and pack inside of the box. I took off the posters that have been pasted at my wall for almost four years, the CD’s of them that has been played for four years, the small items that has been displayed with SHINee faces was also included.

I’ve almost spent an hour keeping all SHINee’s stuff in the box. I changed my pillow case in to a normal pillow case, I kept my SHINee blanket and get a new one with a flower design, and changed my computer wallpaper in to my picture. Everything was already perfect. I sighed and I slammed my on my bed. just when I turned my left side and boom! I saw Key oppa’s face. I haven’t yet kept my picture frame containing his picture. The picture I kept on kissing every morning. I slowly took it from my desk and caressed the photo frame. Looking so sad.

“so oppa… this will be the last time I’ll kiss you. I’ll always keep you forever from now on.” I smiled and gave a light long kiss at the frame. After that, I kept the frame inside the box and fell asleep at my bad.