Chapter 31

"WHO!?" I shout louder.

And Kris eyes drop as he looks away, an all too familiar name dropping from his lips.

"Minseok hyung," he say. "It was Minseok."

And like that my world just stop and crash and I dont know what to do. I want to just fall right there like numb shell. But then also I don't want to do it in Kris face. SO I just turn to leave the room.

"Tao!" He call.

But I just kept going down the hall and even knock into Chen as he coming. I don't care though and I run past my room and into Luhan and Lay room. I shut the door and lock it.

"What you doing?" Luhan ask sitting up sleepily from his bed.

I ignore him and I then dive onto Lay bed and Lay is sitting there playing on his laptop a game! That when Kris start banging on the door.

"Tao come out here. We need to talk!" Kris demand.

"No!" I say. "I don't want to talk to you!"

"Tao..."

"You lied to me!" I shout, then I turn away, my back to the door and I see Lay and Luhan looking at me like I crazy.

"Don't make me talk to him," I say.

"Why?" Luhan ask, "What wrong?"

I efuse to say anything and Luhan glare to Lay, "What you telling him?"

"Nothing I swear," Lay say.

Kris knock on the door again and bang it and Luhan just sigh and look at Lay like he want to kill him.

"Tao you should talk to Kris," Luhan say.

"I already tried talking," I said madly.

Then I hear Kris still banging and he say my name I can hear he so distress so I sigh. I cn't bear him sounding like that so I get off the bed of Lay and open the door and go out.

"Tao!" he said, surprise.

I glare, "What? What else cna you be saying to me?" I ask.

That when I hear another door open and we both look at it Xiumin, looking at us. I get so mad just seeing his face. And sad too! How dare he! He told me he love me and he just a liar! He and Kris both lie and just using me, right!? How can I trust them!?

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing that concern you," Kris cut in but I interuppt too.

"Just the fact that you and Kris been ing behind my back!" I screech.

Xiumin's eyes go super wide and I knew right then that Kris wasn't lie! I can see it in his eye!

"It was NOT behind your back!" Kris said. "We weren't dating then!"

"Wait... what?" Xiumin said, finally speaking.

"He asked me about people in my past," Kris explain.

"And you told him we did it," Xiumin asked, glaring.

"Well we did!" Kris said

"That is the past!" Xiumin shot back.

"Yeah because our showcase is the past," i cut in anger. "Stop just stop! Everything you two just stop!"

"But Tao--" began Xiumin.

"I said stop. You are a liar. You lied to me from the very beginning of our relationship. You lied to me from the very moment you foujd out how I feeling about Kris you manipulate me. You used me!"

"Tao I would never... hurt you... I l,love you," Xiumin said, his lip trembling.

I don't evne wanna listening him anymore. I go to storm away down the hall and when I do that I get grab my Kris when I trying to pass.

"Tao... please don't--" he begin.

But I snatching my arm away and don't even look at him, "Don't even bother. You already got what you wanted anyway, right?"

ANd then I left and walked fast and out the door after put my shoes on. I wait till i'm in the stairs going down before I start crying. I not crying because  am sad anymore though. I don't even know. I think I'm just mad! What to believing?

Xiumin... he comfort me, trying to make me feel better and happier. When he find out i'm in love to Kris he rght away just say I should date him. He had me believe that Kris would never liking me back and that he the only one there for me. I really believing that he like me. I really enjoying myt imes with Xiumin. I really began to think maybe I can love him. I knew he was my kind hyung who struggling to learn Chinese and who mayve sometimes overlook even though he the oldest. But I still really like him.

Kris... my leader. The one I originally liking for a long time. He so kind and carng and he take care of me when I have hard time in Korea. And he helping me all the time and others too! He always have time for the members. I thought it like a dream come true this kind of person can likng me back! But I guess not because he just want to screwing and humping everyone in sight that he can!!!

These two...who am I to believe? Xiumin say he love me... then he say Kris don't. I believed him but then he slept to Kris. And then Kris he saying he like me! But he like me why knowing his past now I just feel like conquest!

I made it to lobby of the dorm and then I about to leave but not looking I going and bump into a person, but I don't follow because the catch my shoulders.

"WOah,slow down....," he say and I look and it Zhoumi from Super Junior-M. "Tao are you crying?" he sound shock.

"I sorry. I just leaving now," I tell him and try to go by him but he still grabbing my shoulder.

"Wait...," he say, and grab my hand. "You look like you could needing comapny. Come with me."

---

Zhoumi to me to a place to get a drink and something to eat. He ordered the stuff for me as we sat and he let me sit there eating and drinking not say a thing. But finally he talk.

"What wrong, Tao? I just come to visit snce I in the area and you come running crying? Did something happening?" he ask.

I don't know what to say. Should I tell Zhoumi because he a trusted person and he older? Also unlike Lay he don't have to see the other members everyday so it won't be so awkward for him to know right? Anyway I really need to confide in somene who not in EXO so I end up telling him the whole story!

I told him how I like Kris for a long time. I told him how Xiumin find out I like Kris but I end up dating Xiumin. I even tell him things after all the way up to the part when Kris told me now he and Xiumin slept together after the showcase.

"Sigh, I really don't know what to doing," I said, looking down at my drink.

"Well, don't you think Kris and Xiumin have the right to have their share of thing in their past? You were with Xiumin before with Kris so it only natural they also have old lovers." Zhoumi ask, after listening my story thoroughly.

"It just... Xiumin...he knew! He knew from the beginning that Kris wouldn't be disgusted so then why... why he hiding it?"

"Is this about your missing opportunity to be with Kris sooner?" Zhoumi ask me.

I don't say anything.

"Because you seem to believe Kris only interested in you for the physical. But have you ever ask him how he felt, right?"

I did but...," I sigh. "but it hard to judge how he feel if he sincere or not. Maybe I paranoid but with Xiumin I was so convinced of his feeling for me. Xiumin never gave me reason to doubt. He really... gave me everything. But Kris... I don't know."

"Ok, you asking yourself 'how does Kris feel? How does Xiumin feel?' But Tao, haven't you forgotten the real question?"

"What that?" I ask.

"'How do I feel?'" say Zhoumi. "You never once mention how you feel Who do you like, Tao? You say you like Kris and like Xiumin but how do you really feel? Who is really in here?" and Zhoumi point to his chest.

"How I feel?" I repeat... "In here?" I slowly touch my own chest.

He nod and sip his coffee.

"Once you know how you feel then you can best decide how you want to reconcile with them. Is it as friends for both or is there one of them you're willing to work it out with to become stronger lover..."

I frown and think about what Zhoumi said. Who do I like really...?

-to be continued-