Chapter 24
After Kris did that to me he kiss me then he pat me and gesture for me to go take a shower.

"We have to wake up early so we should sleep soon," he say to me.

I nod and get out the bed and run into the bathroom. I happy Kris stopped. I don't think i ready for that! I already surprise when he stuck his finger there. I don't think I want.... THAT! How is that supposed to fit.

I blush just thinking about it. BUT OMG what he did really felt good anyway. I never knew I could feel like that.

After I shower and come out I see Kris is sitting on the bed watching the tv.

"That was fast," he said.

"You said we had to sleep soon," I said.

Kris grinned and then ruffled my hair. I blush.

"You so cute! You really sometimes act just like a kid," he grinned.

"Hey!" I protest and push his arm away playfully. "I not like a kid. You just like an old man!"

I then dive under the blankets.

"Yah! Take that back!" He said.

But I just pretend to be asleep! Even when he poking me and trying to tickle me I would still pretend to be asleep.

"Wah, Tao is such a heavy sleeper," Kris said. "I guess I just go to bed too."

Then he stop moving and I feel the bed go all quiet. I open my eye to peak and see if he relly go to bed. But he was there looking at me!

"I knew you not sleep!" he say.

And then I grab my pillow and hit him. He lunge forward to grabbing the pillow from me but I scream and jump form the bed and throw the pillow at him. He chase me all around the room and I screaming and laughing. And he hit me with the pillow finally.

I grab another pillow from the bed and hit him hard on the head and then run away again. We screaming and laughing and running around throwing pillows when suddenly a bang on the door!

"HEY! GO TO BED!" scream out manager voice through the wall.

Kris and I look at each other and try to hold in our laugh.

"Making too much noise!" the manager said.

"Sorry, we going to bed now," Kris say and he jump onto the bed.

"GOOD!"

Manager went away and I giggle and get back on the bed and Kris and I put abck the pillow. Then I lay down and Kris reach out and hug me while I laying down. We both breathing hard from our pillow fight.

"Tao... I never been this happy since the day we debut... Thank you..." he say.

My eyes close and I feel so warm and happy.
----

The next day we go drive back to where we live. We leaving this city for now! We wake up and go to the van. It is a day off thankfully so when we get back we won't have to working!

Manager is driving, Kris is in the seat beside him in front. I am n the middle part with Luhan, Lay and Luhan. And Chen and Xiumin are in the back of the van. I try my best not look at Xiumin. I know I have to see him anyway when we get back from Beijing.

eally I don't want to think of that. So I just look at Kris back of his head. It all I can see since I sitting behind him. But it all I need to see. I just happy seeing the back of him and I must be smilling like I stupid because then Lay nudge me.

"Hey," Lay whispter. "You look so love sick right now!"

 I blush and look away from Kris and look at Lay. "Wah?"

Lay chuckle and gesture for me to lower my voice. "Shh, everyone sleeping. Be quiet."

"Sorry," I apologize.

"It ok. But hey you grinning so much at just the back of his head. Should I switch seats and go in the front?" Lay ask me.

"You would?" I ask.

Lay the pout and then punch my arm lightly. "You brat you really rather me move so Kris can sit here instead? You brat!"

I pout too," Hey!" I rub my arm. "You the one who offered not me."

Lay just shake his head and chuckle, "Ah, I guess so. But Kris usually always sit with Manager."

"I know," I sigh.

"Wow. youreally like him?" Lay ask.

"Of course I do!" I say. "I like him for a long time now aleady!"

"Hmmm." Lay tap his chin as if n thought. "Even after everything you know about him?"

"Why wouldn't I? He's great guy and you and I both know it," I said.

"Yeah, he's great... but for a relationship.... well..." Lay was saying but then suddenly Luhan put his hand onto Lay's knee and look at him.

"Stop," Luhan say, looking at Lay face.

Lay just look right back at him but don't say anything. And the conversation is dropped just like that. But what do Lay mean?  What was he going to say about kris and relationships?

I hug the pillow Kris gave me to my chest and watch as Luhan and Lay start talking amongst themselves,  before falling asleep.

---

We get home and we all are happy to have a day to rest before schedules pick up again tomorrow. We have schedules here for a few days and then we go to taiwan too and promote. It really crazy! Just thinking of t makes me tired so i drag my bag up to the dorm just like everyone else and then when we get inside i collapse on the floor in the living room hugging the panda Kris gave me (i took it on the trip remember?)

"Tao!!! Get up! You have to go to your room!" protest Chen who is behind me.

Lay just ignore them and step over me and his foot land on the panda head!

"WAHH! You stepped on my panda!" I say getting up quickly!

"You shouldn't have been laying the floor!" smirk Lay and then he run into him and Luhan room.

I glare but then Kris just help me up and brush off the panda head.

"You need help getting your stuff to the room?" ask Kris.

I shake my head, "No." I bllush a little. I am not a little girl so of course I don't need the help.

I grab my bag and then i bring it to the room and dump t all near my bed and then jump on it! Laying on my stomach.

"Home sweet home!" i say.

Soon I hear someone else enter the room too and I sit up in the bed and see Xiumin coming in. He don't even look in my direction as he put his things down on his bed. It really annoy me. WHy he not even look over at me?

He begin unpacking his luggage and seperating some dirty things so I get up too and open my bag to do the same thing. We going to be leaving in a few days again to go to taiwan so it is best that we do our laundry before we leave.

We working quietly and I can feel tension in the air. I eally don't know what to say. Should I apologize? Or what? But really I think I am really getting annoyed. He won't look at me or even talk to me. Is it because I am with Kris now? I understand he would be mad but if he really like me why he ignoring me like this??

I trying my best not to talk first but I really do want to talk to XIumin. He is still my friend too, right?

I hear a wrapper behind me and I turn and see Xiumin sitting on the bed and he opening a snack and he start eating it. So the perfect time for me to start a conversation. I go over to his side of the room and sit on his bed and stick my hand into his bag of food.

He is shock and pull the bag away and I pout when he look at me with wide eyes and his cheeks full of food. It really so cute!!!

"Hyung... I am hungry!" I say, a stick my lip out a little.

He chewing and silently hold the bag out for me to take some. I reach my hand in and take some the food and eat it too. We sit in silence on the bed and just eating the bag of food until suddenly it empty and Xiumin ball up the bag in his hands.

"Hyung..." I say. "Thanks hyung. THat was delicious." I speaking in Korean to try to put him at ease. I feel he has a bit of tension.

He don't say anythign and just nodd and then lean over to where his desk is to throw the bag into the waste basket.

"I think maybe that is my favorite flavor. What is that? Seaweed?"

Xiumin sit back up again and just look at me and nod.

I feeling so annoyed now he really not saying anything to me!

"Why you not saying anything to me!?" I ask finally!!!

He look at me and his fae just expressionless. He just staring for a few moment and suddenly he say, "What do you want me to say?"

"Huh?" I say.

"What do you want me to say to you?" Xiumin say.

"i...I..."

But he don't let me finish.

"What you want me to say? What you expect me to have to say after you leave me for Kris? You expect me to have words to say? You obviously don't value me enough so why do you expect a thing?" he ask.

I am shock, "What?" I replied. "How can you think I don't value you. you're my hyung of course I value you!"

"What? You value me in what way? Is this how you treat people you value?" he ask.

Huh!? He asking me how I treat people I value? Ugh! I am so annoyed by him now I just really want to hit him. I ball my fist and stand up off the bed.

"You... you... How dare you! You're the one! You're the one I should saying that to!!!" I reply and point my finger at him. "You told me you loved me! You told me that but as soon as things get difficult what did you do? You ran!"

Xiumin face darkened after I say that and suddenly I feel a bad feelng in my stomach. He just stare at the finger pointing at him and then he look at me right in the face and I see in his eyes it like a fire in them! really!

"What?" he asked, jaw clenched.

"You say you love me... but you didn't even fight for me!"

"Never fight for you?" he said. And he stood up, and even he is shorter than me I feel his presence so strong I have to take a few steps back. "You think I never fought for you? Tao, I never ever gave you any reason to think I didn't love you. I gave you ever piece of me. Every single bit. I would do anything for you. I have done nothing but show you that i love you and chased you with all of might. And you say I never fought for you? No I fought for you I gave you everything but it wasn't good enough was it?"

Suddenly I just feel floored. Like everything just came out under me. I don''t know how to process his words. Of course he's right because as soon as Kris say he like me i immedietly just fall right to him. When Kris say to everyone we dating what did I do? I just go along with it. I never even bother to break up to Xiumin first.

"So don't you dare say I never fought. I fought! But how long I supposed to keep trying? I tried. I gave it my best but deep down we both knew how it really was right? That as soon as Kris showed interest you'd go away right? That how it was?"

He turned away from me and cross his arms. I balled my fist.

"Stop talking like you know everything!" I raise my voice and stomp my foot. "DOn't try to tell me how I feel!" I yelled and I feel like my eyes watering but I don't know why they are!

"Then ok tell me. how you feel?" he ask, not even bothering to look at me.

I don't even know how I feel. Like really how I feel about Xiumin hyung. It hard to say. Of course I feel closer to him now than before but he isn't Kris. he'll never be Kris. ANd I know that but... ... I don't want Xiumin to know that! It ridiculous but it true! Am I really so selfish like this! I never thought I was until now.

"i... I..."

Xiumin turned and the look on his face really made me stop talking.

"You don't have to say anything. You always thinking of him from day one and I know it. Every tear you shed was for him. Every thought in you head for him. Every single one of them. Did you ever once think of me?" he asked.

Wordlessly I nodd me head. The tears falling now down my cheeks.

"When?" he asked. "When did you ever think of me? It just him isn't it. Always him when we hug... when we kiss... when we --"

"I... I... I hate you!" I can't take it anymore. I burst sobbing, "You don't know anything about me!" I yell. "How can you say that about me? How do you think I feel!?"

"HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!?" He finally yell so loud.

I gasp. I never seen Xiumin yell like that and I sumble back and happen to sit on his bed.

It must have been so loud because then suddenly manager hyung in the room.

"Tao what wrong?" he ask when he see I crying. He look at Xiumin.

"Get him away from me!" I say, pointing to Xiumin. "I never want to see his face again!"

"Tao..." Xiumin voice, it not so loud anymore.

"I don't want to room with him anymore," i say, breaking down even more and just sobbing heavily into my hands.

"Tao..." the manager try to pull me up from the bed and I just cry harder.

It really hurt when Xiumin said that thing to me. It just make me feel so pathetic like I using him. But it not true... maybe it true I use him at first but he gone to far if he think I just using him for . I not! I really not.

"I want Kris ge... I want Kris," I sob, as manager trying to pull me up.

The other members all come out their rooms too curious about hat happens I guess because then suddenly I hear Kris voice from the door.

"WHat happened?"

I look up and I see Kris looking at me and then glaring to Xiumin. I run to Kris and wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his neck. I feel Kris arms embrace me as well.

I hear Xiumin's bitter reply,"thanks for proving my point."

-to be continued-