Chapter 14

When Kris get back after his dinner with the others, which is actually quite late me and Xiumin are sitting on the floor, against the bed watching the television. He looks surprised to see us there and says a greeting.

"Hey," Xiumin replies. "You're finally back!"

"Y,yeah," Kris said.

He looked around as me and Xiumin gather the left overs of our dinner (convinience store foods) and out it in a plastic bag.

"See you tomorrow," Xiumin said. He stood up and so do I. "Good night!"

He turn to me and pinch my cheek and then wave to Kris and leave the room. Kris close the door and lock it when Xiumin leave and I already in my pajama and showered so I crawl into the bed.

"You going to bed?" he asked.

"Yeah..." I reply.

It best I try to sleep now before I get all nervous when he in bed with me.

"Ok. I'm gonna shower. Don't take up too much of the bed, ok," Kris say. Then he leave and go into the bathroom.

I get under the blanket and lay as far on the side of the bed as I can without falling off. I lay there in silent and I hear him go to te shwoer and trn the water on.

I close my eyes. it best I try to go to sleep now because once Kris come out maybe it impossible to go to sleep! Afterall, Kris will be steaming hotm and wet, coming out with wet body and hair. It best I don't see that at all but OMG just thinking about it is already keeping me up. It is impossible I guess even now to go to sleep.

But I still try to sleep and maybe thinking abot other thing like our work for tomorrow. We have to wake up early to go into the station for to get ready in filming. It more interview and introduction of our group and talents. Xiumin hyung and I were practicing for it before Kris returned. I helping Xiumin with his Chinese. sometimes he is forgetting especially when we in front the camera.

I am thinking these things and then Kris finish his shower and come out. I look and he is wearing black tank top and short.

"Huh? Are you wearing that to bed?" I ask.

Kris look down at his clothe. "Huh? Yes. WHy something wrong?"

"Shouldn't you wearing pajama?" I say.

"This is my pajama."

"You going to be cold?"

Kris roll his eyes and sit on the bed. I guess he annoyed but I had to ask! How can I sleep in bed with him when he just wearing black tank top and shorts! After all he looking so y! I wearing a full pajama.

"Why you worrying so much what I'm wearing. We both guys," he say.

"So! Just because we both guys don't mean to be indecent and show off!" I say.

"WHy yous ay I show off?" Kris asked. He turn on his side and facing me in bed. "You always complainin about me show off? But you have no problem being so close to Xiumin!"

I shock he mention XiumiN!
"WHy you mentioning that baozi hyung in our conversation?" I asked.

"Well it true. You always around him lately."

"He my roommate."

Kris say nothing and get under the blanket.

"So you mean there nothing going on?" Kris ask finally.

"Huh?" I confused. THey way he worded it makes it sound like he means... but hwo would he know? there is no way for him to know. Even if Chen teases us we not obvious, right?

"I just... I thought I was your favorite hyung!" Kris said.

I lok at Kris like he crazy! Why he saying that kind of thing?

"You want to be my favorite hyung?" he asked.

He shrug.

"Am... Am I your favorite dongsaeng?" I ask.

"This isn't about me. This is about you," Kris reply.

"No fair!" I say and glare at Kris. But he only laugh and pat my cheek.

"Ok, ok you my favorite dongsaeng," he say.

"Uhmmm but..."

"What?"

"What about in the group?" I asked. "Who you like best."

"I can't answer that because i'm leader I like everyone!"

"Huh? It natural though... having favorite, right?" I say. I keep prying because I curious. Of course I want him to say me.

"I guess... you my favorite dongsaeng so...," he shrug. "And I want to room with you, right?"

My heart it feel like it can fly and I have to hide my smile so I hug the panda and hide my face in the panda's head. But then I remember even though he always hanging around me he always hanging and let Luhan hanging on him!

"What about... Luhan ge?" I ask.

"What about him?"

"Do you like him or me?"

Kris look shock but he answer right away, "I like you both."

I shake my head, "No. You have to choose."

Kris frown and tilt his head, "But I can't..."

"Why not?" I ask, pouting.

"Because I really like everyone in the group. But everyone is special... the way I like you... and the way I like Luhan... it so different."

"How?"

"You wouldn't understand," kris said.

He then flop down. I lay down too squeezing the panda.

How can the way he like me or Luhan be different? I do not know what he mean but the way I like Kris is different from everyone else I already know. The way I feel about him is different too but I do not know how to communicate it in any way...

"Tell me... I want to know... maybe I can udnerstand," I say.

He look at me and I see some emotion in his eye I do not understand, but somehow I feel he pity me, feel sorry for me. I almost give up but then he speak.

".... you ever have a friend that you... even if you want to be alone it ok if they there. Sometimes even if they don't acknowledge you you just happy to know they are ok, happy to see their smile from far away. This person is like a brother, and a friend but more. There are no words for the title of this person. This person you want to protect more than anyone in the world... This person transcends those words... that's how I feel... that's how I feel about... about...--"

"Yes?" I ask in a whisper. My heart beating so fast and I am so scared that if I speak any louder I won't hear his answer.

"Forget it," Kris said, turning away quicly. I want to cry as I see his back turn against me. THen Kris sit up.

"I shouldn't have said anything," he said.

"Kris!" I call.

But he just get up and slip on a tshirt that was on a chair.

"Where you going?" I ask.

"I need to go for a walk," he said. "I... I need some air..."

With that he slip on some shoe and leave out the door. I sit there in the big bed, my heart feel like it can just break into a million pieces. I am all alone.

-to be continued-