If You Love Me - NS Yoon G ft. Jay Park

“What happens now?” And there’s more than one meaning behind that question _________ asked. She had that thought in her mind for a few days now. What happens to her and Donghae after they finish their song? What will happen to their newly rebuilt friendship (or whatever relationship you want to call it) after that?

“Today you’ll be taking photos together and then have an interview talking about your collaboration and that’s it. All the hard work’s done and well worth it.” Fluxus’ creative director informed them. They were planning to produce heartwarming photos of the two showing their close friendly relationship to hype up anticipation and promote their duet.

The shoot started well even though the two had to act closer than they really are, like for example, _________ posed really close to Donghae while he placed his arm around her shoulder, the two of them looked at each other while candidly smiling and laughing together, etc.

Mid-way through the shoot Donghae felt a bit dizzy and __________ noticed the change in his condition.

“Are you okay?” She asked him after the photographer gave them a break to go over the photos to see if they already got the shots they need.

Donghae tried to show an assuring smile but his hand started trembling and he looked paler than when she saw him in the morning.

“Have you eaten anything today?” She worriedly asked Donghae and helped him sit down first. He shook his head and ________ had an idea than maybe he was suffering from hypoglycemia, something that is common with artists besides the usual culprits like fatigue or ulcer. She scolded him while looking for that bar of chocolate she always keeps in her bag just in case things like these happen. In these situations where someone is having hypoglycemia, one would need to raise his blood glucose and eat something sweet or with an above average form of sugar content. Even though she was telling him off, __________ still took care of Donghae at the same time. She broke down the pieces of chocolate to bite size ones and fed him, she also had water and soda in hand.

This deed of hers only made Donghae fall deeper for her. He was in a daze and he ate what she gave without any questions asked, he only stared at her lovingly.

Actually he was too eager to see her and that’s why he didn’t mind, well honestly, he forgot to eat earlier...he was too preoccupied with the thought of her and with perfecting their collaboration.

He just wanted their music… their song to be celebrated. He only wants for things to fall into place, her music seems to be going on the right direction now and maybe after that she can unwind and hopefully give more thought about them, about him, but still he had no plans to pressures her.

“Thank you.” Donghae whispered when he started to feel better.

“You’re a busy guy. Don’t let this or rather don’t let me, interfere with your crazy schedule. You have too much on your plate as it is.” _________ mumbled but her words were clearly heard by Donghae. She knows that hypoglycemia could easily be avoided and treated if only Donghae took better care of himself.

“I can focus on love and work. I’ll make time to balance, I always find ways to be at my best when I’m serious about what I am pursuing.” He determinedly told her.

_________ just kept silent, unsure on how she should respond.

“Look, I don’t expect you to easily forgive and forget. I know I’ve been bombarding you with my feelings and all, I know it’s still hard to process, I’m not rushing anything.” He explained himself after letting out a sigh.

“Well what do you expect then?” She asked and looked at Donghae straight in the eyes.

“Honestly, I don’t know, I’m wishfully hoping for the best, I don’t want to expect for the worse although I think I should be. I guess I just want us to have a fresh beginning, to start over and be given a chance to redeem myself.” Donghae truly wanted to prove himself.

“I don’t think that’s necessary. I’ve already forgiven you but just like what you said, it’s hard to forget and erase memories, whether they are good or bad. Let’s just be straight with each other, I think that’ll be better…but now that we’ve completed our work together I think we’ll have fewer chances in seeing each other.”

It was at this point that Donghae realized that _________ actually avoids saying his name but that’s okay since he wouldn't want to hear sunbae or -shi from her, that would kind of deject him, he'd rather wait because he wants to hear her say oppa to address him. He will work hard for that to happen.

“Well…would you mind if I ask to meet up with you even if it’s not related to work?” He asked with a sheepish smile. He wouldn’t want for her to distance herself just because they’re not working together anymore, how could he prove himself to her if he lets her pull away from him again?

“It depends, only if it won’t compromise your health and your busy schedule.” She replied with a soft smile, somewhat giving Donghae the green light.

Now this made Donghae look forward to the next time he'll have a break off from work.

- Later that night –

_________ walked towards the car that her label provided for her. Her manager went to the driver’s side while she opened the backseat door. _________ was surprised when she saw a chocolate bouquet resting on the seat as soon as she entered the car.

She picked it up as she sat beside it and looked at the card attached to it.

‘To the woman I’m in love with,

You’re amazing. Just wanted to remind you that.

Wish to see you soon again

-Lee Donghae (you can add oppa if you like;))’

“This guy is fattening me up.” She said in an annoyed tone yet with a childish smile and blushing cheeks. Not only would he fatten her body with those sweets but more importantly, he would fatten her heart with those kinds of gestures.

________ just cleaned her face from all the make-up put on her for the shoot. She tied her hair up in a bun and changed into comfy clothes. She was about to turn her laptop on when suddenly her doorbell rang.

“Boa unnie!” ________ was pleasantly surprised when she saw who her unexpected guest is. She happily greeted Boa upon seeing her in front of her door. Boa smiled and was glad that her ambush visit to her dongsaeng was a success.

________ welcomed Boa into her simple yet comfortable pad, again, provided by Fluxus. They chatted in the living room, exchanging stories about the recent happenings in their lives.

“You know I’m really happy for you and all because you’re finally on the path you really wanted and I believe that’s it really destined for you but let’s cut to the chase, I really want to know what’s going on between you and Donghae.” Boa has been itching to ask _________ that. She’s been waiting for the girl to bring him up but it seems like she still needs to do some coaxing, she needs to be their love bridge.

“I already told you about how we reconnected, he apologized and explained everything. We just finished wrapping up our duet.”  She answered as if she didn’t know what more Boa wanted from her.

“Well yeah I know that but girl I want deeper details, you know very well what I’m talking about _________.” Boa narrowed her eyes at __________ and demanded for the younger girl to fess up.

“I’m still confused.” She sighed and lowered her head, like she was admitting defeat.

“I understand it’s a lot to take in. I know you're searching for things and I hope with all my heart that you find the answers to your questions as soon as possible but then again I also feel that maybe the answers that you're looking for are closer than you think. They're already in your heart and in the hearts of those who love you.” Boa started to advise her.

_________ looked at Boa and looked at her like she was a lost kid.

“Okay let’s try a different approach. Close your eyes.” Boa instructed _________.

“Why?”

“Just do it.” Boa told _________ firmly which made the girl immediately shut her eyes.

“Okay now I want you to imagine a future moment in your life wherein you realize that all your dreams are finally coming true. You know it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person, outside your family. Focus on this okay but don’t overthink nor doubt the first person that comes to mind. When you win your first award, who do you imagine celebrating with you? Who's standing next to you when your dreams come true?”

________ visualized everything. After a minute or so, she opened her eyes and looked at Boa as if she’s figured something out, although things seem clearer now, apprehension was still very much evident in her.

“You don’t have to say anything now but I do suggest you call that person, open up, don’t bottle it up, you’ve done enough of that already. Make a move, meet him halfway and see how things go from there.”

Boa handed __________ her phone and looked at her in anticipation.

_________ knew what to do but was she fully ready to take that big leap of faith?

She took deep breaths and tapped the screen of her phone a few times before lifting it up to her ear but she placed it down not a second later and turned her phone off, earning a sad look from Boa.

“I don’t want to admit anything yet because I…I can’t take that big step, not yet anyway.”  She hesitantly admitted that was still undecided because of the fear of the ‘what-if’s’ consuming her.

“I understand and it’s okay. Personally, I think Donghae deserves to suffer anyway because of how he treated you.” Boa sniggered, making light of the situation. _______ let out a sigh of relief, for a minute there she got scared that Boa was disappointed at her. Well what could she do with her own feelings?

“But I think you should still call him, you know you two need to have some serious one-on-one talk so it’ll help you fix any loose ends and sort your feelings out.” Boa sided with _________, encouraging her that she didn’t need to force herself to act so sudden if it’s really out of character but still, she thought that it would do both her and Donghae some good if they confront each other in a way that the two of them will benefit from.

_________ nodded her head in agreement and gets her phone again. “But everything will still be casual. I don’t want to complicate anything yet.”

“That’s perfectly fine. It’s not like the world is ending anytime soon, we’re way past the Mayan deadline.” Boa joked before resting her head on the palms of her hands and waited for ________ to make that call.

Happy Holidays! Hope you’re all enjoying your break (if you are having one)! 2013 is just a few days away!

Hope you like my post-christmas update even if I wasn't able to proofread it much ^_^ Love l♥ve l♥ve you all!! 

My giveaway is ending next week ;)