Youngsaeng looked blankly at his hand Hwangbo was holding. He couldn't believe what he just heard. He blinked and looked around. It took him a moment before he could register his surroundings. As he looked around he realized that they were standing in middle of chapel. A beautiful painting of Jesus shone brightly at the end of the hallway while columns of praying benches lined up on their either side.

"Youngsaeng?" Hwangbo whispered breaking Youngsaeng's shock. He looked down at her and suddenly drew his hand out from hers. The pain of rejection was vivid on Hwangbo's face and Youngsaeng saw it too. But he had to do this...for both of them.

"Why are you proposing? Weren't you the one always advocating how it was the worst thing for both of us?" Youngsaeng said coldly.Hwangbo sat in silence still unable to mouth her feelings. Youngsaeng looked at her torn face, her eyes shimmering with tears . At that point he wanted to rush to her side and comfort her,wrap his arms around her and held her till she was okay. But he couldn't , to be able to be by her side forever he had to somehow resist this moment and be strong. "Tell me why?!" He repeated,little louder

"I-I don't want you to go..."Hwangbo managed to say

"that's really hypocritical don't you think?"Youngsaeng gave a fake laugh "what about when you went away to Japan without even telling me?" He breathed angrily as he remembered "Even now...once all this is settled, you're gonna take the first flight to India so that you can get away from me"

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!" Hwangbo rose up in exasperation "YOU CAN DIE IN THE WAR!"

"I AM ALREADY DYING!" Youngsaeng grabbed her by the shoulders. Their eyes locked;desperation apparent in both of them. "What would it take for you to believe I can't live without you! I have been a breathing corpse ever since you left me! "

Hwangbo lowered her head. She didn't have any explanation to give to Youngsaeng-she knew it hurt him when she left him but it was for his own good. She had decided to go away for his good and now when she wanted to be with him it was also for him only. But Youngsaeng failed to understand her.'Saengie please...' Was all she could say.

''I'm sorry Hwangbo....it's not good enough."Youngsaeng said dropping her shoulders. "I cannot just marry you because you're afraid I am gonna die in war when you,yourself are killing me everyday by toying with me and my feelings"

He turned around and started to walk away when Hwangbo grabbed him from behind. Youngsaeng tried to break free but she resisted him with all her power. "Please Youngsaeng...please" she cried burying her face in Youngsaeng's back 

Youngsaeng's resolve was on the brim of breaking. He just wanted to turn back and pull her tight into his arms and stay that way forever. "Why do you care? Answer me...it's a very simple question..if you can't--"

"I love you" she finally said."I love you damn it! I love you.....I don't want to lose you...I love you"her ands slipped on either side.

Youngsaeng turned swiftly to face her. He couldn't believe his ears, the 3words that he so longed to hear from her we're finally out. "Do you really?"

"Of course!" Hwangbo punched his chest "I know you hate me for leaving you but I left cause I wanted to protect you! I didn't want you to go through the stuff Hyunjoong faced. I am bad for you....and today if I have to stay with you to protect you I will do that even if you hate me! I can't let you go to the war and risk your life like this!"

"What if I don't want to marry you?" Youngsaeng said

"Huh?"

"I have had too much of your push and pull games! And frankly I don't think I deserve any of this!" Youngsaeng said firmly. Each word he was saying demanded tremendous amount of resolution from his side.  A storm of emotions was whirling inside of him. On one hand there this overwhelming uncontrollable surge of joy upon hearing Hwangbo's confession and on the other hand the fear that maybe it was all just an illusion, a momentary happiness that would eventually bring excruciating pain for the remnant of his life.. And it was this fear that kept him going else he nearly lost his mind when Hwangbo finally said the 3 words

"You're right. You dont deserve this." Hwangbo sighed not willing to look up  and meet his eye. Youngsaeng silently observed her; he didnt know what to expect but he didnt let his worry show."If you..." it seemed Hwangbo was alot of trouble mouthing the words she wanted to say. When she finally looked up Youngsaeng saw brand new tears shimmering in her eyes eyes threatening to fall any moment. "If you...if you want to be with anybody else I dont have any objection." Hwangbo finally breathed out. "Even after you marry me you are free to hang around with anybody you want. I wont mind. I just--"

"I just want your safety...is that what you're gonna say?" Youngsaeng said with narrowed eyes. "I really cant believe you!" he shook his head in disbelief. He took few steps back and circled the aisle to cool down-it did him no good. "You know something..." he said abruply stopping in his tracks

Hwangbo looked at him timidly

"When I found out that you left me and went to Japan. For days I was mourning, then oneday I decided enough! I wont mope around for this woman who doesnt give even an ounce of care to me or my feelings" Youngsaeng cried, tears now b in his eyes as well. "So I put on my best suit and went to this bar in Gangnam" Hwangbo gulped at this sudden twist in the tale. "I told myself that I am a superstar singer I can get any girl I want and you know what?' Youngsaeng suddenly walked forward enclosing the gap between them "I was right! The girls threw themselves at me! " Youngsaeng started to walk in a circle around Hwangbo as she stood there trembling with pain and fear as he narrated "They were so willing that with one snap of my fingers they were ready to be my pet, do ANYTHING I told them to." Youngsaeng stopped walking and was now face to face with Hwangbo again; her cheeks drenched in her tears. "For a single guy of my age this was a dream come true.I could do anything with those girls and they would have obeyed me diligently" Hwangbo couldnt listen anymore; she pressed her eyes shut to shun out the rest of the story "but I couldnt even lay a finger on them" Hwangbo opened her eyes in surprise at the statement and found him staring at her. There was distance between them now but still the way he looked at her, she could vouch he could see her soul. Youngsaeng didnt need to say what he spoke next because Hwangbo had already understood that from his eyes.  "I didnt do anything with any of them...I couldnt. All these girls came to me and I tried to connect with them; desperately wanted to be able to be with them and forget you, the one who has left me stranded. But...I couldnt...I just couldnt" Youngsaeng swiftly brushed the traitor tear that has spilled over. He cleared his throat before he spoke again "So clearly...for me it cannot be anybody but you...no matter how much I want it"

Hwangbo sighed out in relief as tears of joy tumbled down her cheeks. She understood now she had been wrong; this man infront of her loved her more than anybody loved her rather more than anybody could ever love anybody only if she excluded herself.

"But..." Youngsaeng suddenly said and Hwangbo's head shot up. "Said that, I am not willing sit around and get rejected or accepted by you whenever you feel like it or to put it in your words 'when you think it's beneficial for me'."

"Youngsaeng...please dont say that" Hwangbo rushed to him and cupped his face in her hands. "I love you and I am sorry I misunderstood your sincerity before but I do now I do" Hwangbo desperately searched his eyes but they werent convinced by her statement. She helplessly raised herself on her toes and claimed his lips. She pressed  her lips in urgency and need, the need with which she wanted him to be with her. Youngsaeng was shocked. The overwhelming waves of joy that first rose inside him when Hwangbo confessed surged incredibly breaking all bounds. His entire being was succuming to it as he found himself responding to Hwangbo's kiss. But he needed to control this---there were still unfinished business; it wasnt over yet. It took all the restraint he had acquired in his 29 years of life to grab Hwangbo's shoulders and push her away. He held her at arm's lengthe and breathed to calm himself "No" he finally managed to say

"Why not?" Hwangbo tried to lean in and touch him again but Youngsaeng resisted her. "YOUNGSAENG I LOVE YOU!" she cried

"Not convincing enough" he said through gritted teeth and before Hwangbo could say anything more, Youngsaeng turned and walked straight out of the doors of the chapel.

Hwangbo helplessly stood there in disbelief.

'Not convincing enough'

Youngsaeng's words ringed in her ears shutting out all the sounds.

Finally she took out her phone and dialled a number.

"Hi Rita. How early can you reach the SS501 dorm with your crew tomorrow morning?" she waited for the other side to respond "Okay I will be waiting for you all outside the gates at 6." When the other side inquired she kept her answer short and simple "It's going to be BREAKING NEWS"