The route he took to the hospital was now familiar to him having taken it twice before. He knew what to expect. In total he would have to take eight left turns and ten right turns. He would pass the school gates and walk for about ten minutes through streets of idyllic houses and then streets of more run down, decrepit buildings. These buildings towered over the others he had passed, standing at heights of 5 stories or more, seeming to have dust pouring from the brick walls. They used to be factories, rife with business, but now the large, boxy, brick buildings were used as storage warehouses. There were large cracks in the pavement and potholes riddled the road. Few people walked or drove through these streets anymore. Usually it was just large moving vans and trucks taking away the products piled in dusty heaps in the warehouses. Baekhyun was used to walking through there however as this was the fastest way to the shopping district and he had never bothered with the pretty route. 

He made a right turn off of the battered street onto a busier road that was lined with shops and cafés. Teens were milling about in fast food and clothes shops, some not shopping but just joking about on the streets. He glanced at his watch, it was 5pm so in about half an hour most of the teens and adults would mosey away to do other things as the shops closed for the night. This was only one of the side shopping streets, so even though it was busy it was nothing copared to the main highstreet up ahead. Just before he reached the high street he turned off on a side road that would loop him around quickly to the hospital, avoiding the hustle and bustle.

Exchanging pleasantries with the nurse behind the counter he hurried on up the stairs to the ward. When he reached the correct door he peered through the two foot long, one foot wide pane of glass in the otherwise wooden door, knocking while he did so. As he looked in he could see that the room was empty aside from Mrs Park who was propped up in a sitting position by several large pillows. She looked up and a smile spread across her soft features, the smile lines Baekhyun remembered spreading from her eyes. Her eyes were charcoal black with a only a slither of caramel, the only difference between these almond shaped eyes and those of her son was that he had more liquid caramel streaking his irises. She lifted a pale, slender hand a beckoned him into the room. As he stepped around the door Baekhyun noticed that where her cheeks had been alabaster white before her face was now cream and roses with pink cheeks to match her loving smile. She looked alive.

Baekhyun took a seat beside the bed. “How are you feeling?” He asked

“I feel much better rested, thank you. Baekhyun right? You seem to match Yeollie’s description.” She said with a smile. Baekhyun suddenly realised that she had never actually seen him before. She had only heard him twice, once while she was in a coma and once on the phone. He hadn’t even thought of that.

“Oh I’m sorry, yes I am Baekhyun.”He bowed as he introduced himself properly. “It didn’t occur to me that you haven’t seen me before.” An embarrassed smile spread across his mouth. “Sorry Mrs Park.” She chucked a light, dainty laugh.

“Not to worry dear and please, call me Haeri.” She said, laughter still in her voice. She looked at Baekhyun, “My, you are very handsome, aren’t you? My son would be lucky to have such a gorgeous boyfriend, and so very talented. Made any progress on Yeollie?” She asked with a impish glint in her eyes.

“What…I..”Spluttered Baekhyun in shock. She laughed again.

“I know, I know,” She mimed zipping her lip, “Not a word.” She grinned at Baekhyun’s expression and patted his hand reassuringly.

“I heard from Yeollie that he managed to get to your performance in time and that it went well.” She smiled, warmth radiating from her, “I was so glad to hear it.” Baekhyun smiled. “Yes, I think, well, I hope it went well. We’ll find out tomorrow.”

She flapped her hands at him, “No hope needed, you will both get through.” She said, confident in their talent, “Now last time I spoke to you I remember you promising me a song right?” She grinned at Baekhyun, and even though her face was thinner than it should have been and she still had bruises scattered across her skin, she looked healthy and happy.

“Well, I composed another one. I haven’t really been over it yet and it was just an improvisation but…if you want to hear it?” She nodded enthusiastically. She leaned more heavily into the cushions and rested her head back, gaze still fixed on Baekhyun. He cleared his throat and began to sing…

“Boy, I can’t explain what I feel.

Oh baby my baby, baby, baby, baby.. yeah.

Making a day feel like a minute

With you, I’m the main character of a movie

As if I’m about to film an action scene to come see you,

as if I’ve become a hero

You’re perfect to me, I imagined

How would it be if we were together?

If only you say okay, everything is perfect, oh baby

I lost my mind, the moment I saw you

Except you, everything get in slow motion

Tell me, if this is love

Sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with you

Fighting, crying and hugging

Tell me, if this is love

All the guys in the world are jealous of me

They must be jealous to death of me, for having you

Even after the sun goes down and moon goes down, it will never change

You will find out that I’m a guy whom you can trust

I don’t know why, this unconditional emotion

Did I ever imagine?

Next to me, you shine more brightly as I become a better guy

I lost my mind, the moment I saw you

Except you, everything get in slow motion

Tell me, if this is love

Sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with you

Fighting, crying and hugging

Tell me, if this is love

If you wish and wish earnestly

Will it come true, like the fairytales?

A never-ending happy ending, happily ever after

I will trust you, protect you and comfort you, will be on your side

I will never leave your side

I lost my mind, the moment I saw you

Except you, everything get in slow motion

Tell me, if this is love

Sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with you

Fighting, crying and hugging

Tell me, if this is love

All the guys in the world are jealous of me

They must be jealous to death of me, for having you

My babe, baby babe, baby baby

I can tell, this is love

I will make you smile often like a child

I will make you feel the most comfortable, like a friend

My babe, baby babe, baby baby

Tell me, what is love.”

As he finished singing he looked up at Haeri. She was smiling softly, with tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over. She dragged a hand across her cheek to remove the tears. “That was just beautiful. Did you write that one about him too?” She asked. Baekhyun nodded as a blush crept to his cheeks. “That makes it even more beautiful to me.” Baekhyun smiled back at her before remembering how Chanyeol had been acting earlier that day. “What’s wrong Baekhyun-ah?” She asked. Baekhyun looked up at her and noticed that her eyes were half lidded and her posture was sagged into her pillows.

“It’s nothing, and you need to rest.” He put an arm around her back, pulling her forward so that he could arrange the pillows so that she would be able to sleep comfortably. Once they were spread aound her rather than in a propping pile, he laid her torso down onto the pillows. He auburn, orange and brown streaked hair splayed in a halo of waves around her face as she let out a sigh of comfort. “Thank you.” She breathed as she fell into a deep sleep. Baekhyun her hair lightly saying, “Sleep well.” He then grabbed his school bag and left the room, walking down the bright, clean hospital ward, headed for the exit.

Chanyeol sat in the hospital cafeteria absently stirring his now cold tea in circles. He felt so confused and conflicted. He had no problem with people being gay, he had know Kai was gay for years and had been fine with it. So why was it that when he had found out about Baekhyun, his heart had started to pound an uneven rhythm in his ribcage whilst aching at the same time? He knew that he wasn’t gay, he had had a few girlfriends before. He knew he wasn’t gay. He thought he wasn’t. He really didn’t know. He yelled out in frustration and grasped his head. His spoon clattered to the floor but he made no move to pick it up. He ruffled at his hair and sighed as his hands dropped back to the table. He looked at his watch. He had been sat there going around in cirles, both literally and mentally for nearly an hour. He hoisted his bag onto one shoulder and made his way back upstairs.

He was approaching the door when he heard voices coming from his mothers room. He looked through the pane of glass, making sure that he could not be seen from inside the room as his curiosity overcame him. As he looked through he saw a familiar scene. Baekhyun was sat beside his mothers bed in the same chair Chanyeol had seen him sitting in before. The big difference between what he saw now and what he had seen before was that his mother was awake and smiling, eyes bright. The left half of Baekhyun’s face that Chanyeol’s could see showed him that he too was smiling back as his mother spoke to him. Chanyeol felt a tug in his chest and tried to ignore it. He pressed closer to the door to hear what they were saying better.

“…I remember you promising me a song right?” His mother was smiling fondly as she said this, anticipation clear in the gleam of her eyes.

“Well, I composed another one. I haven’t really been over it yet and it was just an improvisation but…if you want to hear it?” He watched as a pink tinge edged up Baekhyun’s face. He was either embarrassed or flattered by the amount of enthusiasm his mother nodded with. He could see that she was tired as she sank into the cushions, but he could not deny that she looked elated to be able to hear him sing.

Baekhyun started to sing. Chanyeol recognised the song as the one he had played for him the other day in their practice room. He noticed that the lyrics which were before Girl, I can’t expain what I feel  were now Boy, I can’t explain what I feel. Chanyeol had a feeling that the original lyrics had been Boy but Baekhyun had changed them to hide his uality. He had listened to the lyrics before but now, he really heard them. He heard the emotion lift Baekhyun’s voice to new levels of beauty. Had his voice always made his knees go weak? He thought as he felt his heart thrum faster than usual. As the song came to a close Chanyeol found himself wishing that the song was written about him. He dismissed the thought and sighed, Baekhyun had so many people going after him.

His mother’s voice brought his attention back to the room before him, she was wiping tears from her face with a smile. “That was just beautiful. Did you write that one about him too?” About him? Who was this about? Was it him him? Chanyeol held his breath as he waited for Baekhyun’s response, heart beating even harder than before. Baekhyun didn’t say anything, he just blushed and nodded gently. At that Chanyeol suddenly remembered something he had heard Baekhyun say to his mother when she was in a coma, “…Chanyeol I said this but…I wrote it about him.” If he had written that about him, then he had written this about him too. It wasn’t written as a friend as he had thought…Baekhyun liked him. As he thought that his heart pounded, out of control and his breathing hitched. Baekhyun liked him.

He looked back into the room and Baekhyun was laying his mother gently down on her pillows. He watched as he back her hair and said, “Sleep well.” Thick emotion welled up inside him at the tenderness with which Baekhyun was tending to his mother. His heart leapt and soared, what was this he was feeling? He saw Baekhyun grab his bag he thought. He his heels and sprinted down the hallway, luckily there were not many medical staff about and no patients to disturb. He flung open the door at the end of the corridor and leapt down the stairs, barely pausing at the nurse’s desk to wave at the kind woman there. As soon as he was out the door he ran down the concrete steps and sat heavily on the wall beside the steps. His posture was flopped as he tried to catch his breath. He couldn’t let Baekhyun know he had heard them, he needed time. What did he think about all of this? He tried to tell himself that it meant nothing to him, but he couldn’t deny his aching heart and the smile that threatened the corners of his mouth when he thought about Baekhyun.

There was a scraping scuffle to his right as the hospital door was opened. Chanyeol looked up to see Baekhyun coming out, he couldn’t help the smile the crept onto his face when he saw him. Baekhyun had been looking down as he had walked down the steps but looked up as he reached the bottom step. He was looking directly into Chanyeol’s eyes, Chanyeol couldn’t look away.

Baekhyun reached the bottom of the cold, grey, concrete steps and heard breathing to his left. It was a slightly ragged pant, curious of who the owner of the labourd breaths could be he looked up. His eyes locked with the molten charcoal and caramel eyes he knew so well. Hurt, anger and love rose up inside him, filling him with emotion. The three emotions fought for dominance, an internal struggle that he was sure could be seen in his eyes that were still locked with Chanyeol’s. After what felt like hours but was really only a few seconds Anger won the fight, hurt close behind, fueling his rage. He balled his fists and took a deep breath, he didn’t want to make a scene. He turned away and had only taken one step when he heard Chanyeol’s deep, grumbling voice behind him. “Hey, wait.”

“What?” He growled, whirling around. “What do you want?” He saw Chanyeol’s face fall in confusion, “I…” His eyebrows pulled toether, “I just…wanted…”

“Just wanted to talk to me so that you can ignore me again?” He almost yelled. “Yeah, I’m gay. So ing what? You know I wouldn’t have minded if you had just shouted at me or called me a or something. At least then you’re honest about it, but ignoring me? That is just so cowardly and…and homophobic.” Baekhyun felt his anger fall away to leave the hurt knawing at his insides. His voice quieted to no more than a whisper, “I never took you for someone to be so judgemental. I thought more of you.” Bakhyun turned away from Chanyeol, not quite fast enough to hide the tear falling over his cheek. He walked away quickly before he could be stopped again as the tears contined to fall.

“I never took you for someone to be so judgemental. I thought more of you.” Chanyeol felt as though his heart had snapped in half at those words. He had so much he wanted to say, but no way of saying it. He opened his mouth, but no words came.  A tear glided over Baekhyun’s cheek and he wanted nothing more than to wipe it away and hug him. But his feet were rooted to the spot and before he could try to shif his feet, moulded into the concrete, Baekhyun had turned and walked away. He felt an ache, deep in his chest, as a tear slipped out of his own eye. Baekhyun thought he was homophobic, Baekhyun thought he hated him. As he trudged back up  the steps into the hospital he only had one thought, I think I might like him, but he thinks I hate him.