"She had the kind of broad and guileful smile in which you couldn't help but believe and you just wanted to make her happy so you could keep seeing it."

- An Abundance of Katherines.

*****

His fingers closed around my wrist and gripped on tightly, leaving red marks in my skin. I screamed and wrenched my hand away, feeling his touch burn into me. Even after two whole years, his touch felt so familiar. I refused to turn around, I refused to let him see me as I continued striding forward, tears burning in my eyes. Even after two whole years, it still hurt. It ached 'till the point where I felt like I was going to die.

"I know you don't want to talk to me again but will you just turn around and listen to me?"

Sehun's quiet voice reveberated through my ears again and I stiffened slightly. I ignored him as I continued to walk forward, quickening my footsteps. I could hear him walking behind me but I steadily ignored him. I was afraid that if I allowed myself to turn around, I wouldn't be able to look away. I could feel his stare burning a hole into my back and I stopped dead still. I could feel him stop in his tracks too. I turned around and faced him, and as I did, I felt my entire body tingling.

He was gorgeous. I only saw him briefly earlier, when he was surrounded by all those people on the street. But now that he's up close, I could inspect every single perfectly defined feature clearly. His hair was different now, it was a lighter brown and more tousled, and his eyes were sharper and more serious. In retrospect, the handsome mischievous boy whom I had loved in the past had grown up. He had grown up and he was gone now, never to come back. 

His eyes widened slightly as he took in my appearance and I saw something flicker in his light brown eyes. 

Before I knew what was happening, his hand shot out again and encircled around my wrist. He pulled me in again, into the all too familiar feeling of his embrace. His strong arms wrapped around me and before I could process my thoughts, my head was buried in his lean shoulder, breathing into his scent. My entire body tensed up and I tried to push him away from me but he tightened his embrace and I was helpless against him. Both of us probably looked ridiculous; hugging in the middle of the street but I was too far gone to consider that fact. 

"I'm sorry."

I froze up. What did he just say?

"I'm sorry." He kept mumbling those words, the sound of his velvet voice bringing familiar tingles through me. I suddenly regained my senses and pushed him roughly away. He hadn't expected this reaction and he stumbled back slightly, trying to regain his balance. His eyes were wide again, this time with hurt and when he lifted his head to look at me, I felt like crying.

"There's no need to apologize," My voice was rough with emotion as I turned my head away slightly, trying not to look into those light brown eyes. "There was never any need to apologize in the first place."

Sehun's face turned deathly pale as his eyes remained fixated on me.

"Nothing happened between us. What happened all those years ago was... just a teenage lack of judgment. We were just too caught up in the heat of our childish folly to realize that it all meant nothing." I was lying through my teeth now but I clenched my fists slightly and continued on, "It was a temporary lapse of judgment and now, we are both grown up and had moved on. I wish you the best in your life."

I turned around and started to walk away.

"You don't mean that."

I looked back at him. His face was so pale, he looked like the epitome of death. He was trembling slightly and his eyes shone with emotion. His fists were tightly balled up into fists at his side and in the cold gusts of the winter wind, he looked so forlorn and miserable. As I looked at him, I wished I could forgive, but to forgive, I needed to forget. I couldn't forget. It's been two years, and I'm still unable to forget. 

He was like a resplendent angel, and I had fallen from grace.

"You don't mean that," Sehun repeated, his eyes boring slits into my own. "Tell me you didn't mean that."

I smiled bitterly. "I say a lot of things I wish I don't mean, but unfortunately, life just doesn't work that way."

He appeared completely stricken, freezing up right in the middle of the street. His eyes had gone completely hollow, just empty reflective shells of the life that used to live within. The boy I once loved seemed to have completely disintegrated right in front of me, leaving behind a hollow shell of what used to be, filled with empty regrets and hopes of what could have been. 

I walked away, and this time, he didn't stop me.

*****

I absentmindedly peeled the label of my water bottle as my friends carried on their conversations. It was a cold winter afternoon and we were all having lunch at the college's residential cafe. I felt a still in the conversation and looked up, seeing four pairs of eyes staring at me. "What?" I mumbled, as I tossed the remnants of the water bottle's label into the trash can at the side of the room.

"Are you upset?" Kris asked as his intelligent brown eyes surveyed me carefully, taking in my slightly disheveled appearance. I was unable to sleep last night, and had spent the entire time tossing and turning in bed, letting my thoughts dwell on Sehun. It was foolish, it was stupid and it bordered on ridiculous, but it was involuntary. Even with his absence, that boy haunted my thoughts constantly, until the only thing I could concentrate on was him.

"No, I'm not upset." I said shortly.

Tao gestured at my water bottle. "Whenever you're upset, you peel labels off bottles."

"Thanks for your observation, but no, I'm not upset."

Sulli grinned. "You heard Ji-eun, she's not upset. Now stop pestering her and eat." I shot her a grateful smile for her interruption and she smiled back at me. By the time we had finished eating, Tao and Sulli had walked off to the department of biological sciences, leaviong me and Kris alone in the cafe. I grabbed my coat as I followed him out of the cafe and into the sprawling grounds of the college campus.

Kris was the first person I befriended when I arrived in London. He was so friendly and he had such a magnetic personality to him, and through him, I grew close to Tao and Sulli as well. I felt truly glad to have friends like them. I slipped on my coat and we walked on the campus, ignoring the admiring stares we received. Kris was very handsome; he was tall and well-built, with blond hair and piercing light brown eyes, and every time I walked with him to class, I always seemed to receive envious stares from the majority of the female population.

It was frustrating but befriending Kris meant having to go through all this, and it's not like I didn't suffer this when I was dating Sehun.

I tensed up slightly but I quickly tried to shake that boy away from my mind, unaware of Kris's knowing gaze on me. 

"Something on your mind?"

I sighed and shrugged. Kris chuckled as he playfully slung an arm around me, eliciting squeals from the females around the campus. "Don't stress too much, Ji-eun. Stressing makes you ugly." I frowned and smacked his arm lightly and he chuckled again. Somehow, Kris had managed to cheer me up slightly and I smiled as both of us continued walking to class, laughing and making playful banter.

*****

"This college has an excellent applied music department, much better than the one you were at." Kai remarks lightly as he runs a hand through his dark brown hair. Sehun shrugs and moodily drags his guitar case behind him, looking around the new unfamiliar college campus. Kai had convinced him to transfer to this college, as it had a far more superior music program and it was nearer to his apartment, which meant less travel troubles.

"Come, I'll show you around!" Kai says enthusiastically, ignoring Sehun's moody attitude as he drags his best friend around the campus, showing him every single nook and cranny of the place. 

Sehun had been in a terrible mood ever since his encounter with Ji-eun yesterday. When she told him what they had was just a mere teenage lapse of judgment and that they were too caught up in the midst of their childish folly, it hurt. He knew it had definitely meant more than that, hell, he had the emotional and physical scars to prove it. Maybe they were both so caught up in the promise of tomorrow that they had forgot to make it count. 

He was just about to engage in more moody brooding when he heard a familiar litling laugh across the campus grounds. He looked around and saw Ji-eun walking with an unfamiliar tall blond man. Both of them were laughing and chatting happily, oblivious to his intense stare and as they walked further away from him, he felt a burning ball of fire in the pits of his stomach. 

If this was nothing but childish folly, then he wished someone would tell him why he felt like he was on fire, burning up with lingering emotions that refused to fade. 

*****

I'm sorry this ...

I promise that the angst will stop soon.