It was a cold autumn night. I sat there on the swings and allowed myself to be temporarily distracted from the world, if only for a little while. I felt strangely frightened and emotional. I had really fallen for Sehun, and the realization was enlightening yet painful, in a way. I turned to him, he was sitting beside me on the swings. His face was emotionless and blank, as usual. But there was a certain shimmer in his eyes, that made me feel that maybe he was feeling something too right now.

I suddenly asked "What was your happiest childhood memory?"

My question broke the silence and he turned to me. A slight smile appeared on his face "When I was five years old, my parents bought me a birthday cake. They sang me a birthday song and my mum carefully cut the cake into five pieces for me, and she said if I ate every single piece, I would live happily forever. I listened to her and ate every single piece, but I got sick and puked it all out later. Maybe that's why my wish never came true, and I never got to live happily ever after."

I looked quietly at the sky and confessed quietly "All my life, I have never had a happy childhood memory. Maybe I did, when I was too young to remember. But all I could remember of my childhood were dark grey nights in the mansion surrounded by presents and scared maids. Every birthday, my parents would send me a card and expensive gifts. On my tenth birthday, my dad sent me a card saying 'Happy 8th birthday, Ji-eun'. I threw a fit that day and broke every single gift I was sent. They immediately bought me new replacements, but my dad never apologized for getting my age wrong."

"Every Christmas morning, I woke up and prayed that my parents would be there with me, under the Christmas tree, to unwrap our gifts and see what Santa Claus had left for us. But every year, I would wake up in an empty quiet home. I would spend my Christmas mornings sitting at the head of my dining table, while my maids lined up in a row in front of me, to unwrap my gifts. Every year, I would take all my Christmas gifts and dump them in the garbage. They didn't mean a single thing to me."

"All my life, I hoped that my parents would actually spend some time with me and bother to care for me, but they never did. I was never beaten or abused, but I was forgotten and neglected. And I honestly don't know which hurts more."

"Once, when I was nine years old, my parents took me to Disneyland and I was so happy. I hadn't spent time with them for 4 months. We lined up to sit a ride but when we were boarding the ride, my parents got an emergency call and rushed back to the company, leaving me alone on that ride. I sat that ride non-stop for ten times, crying my eyes out. Eventually, the workers had to carry me out."

Heartache and fury welled up in him. How could they do that to her? She was only nine years old. He felt an immense fury building up. He wanted to hold her in his arms and stay in that moment forever. If only he could, maybe then, they could escape this cruel world.

She looked up at him and said softly "Guess we're both screwed up, huh?"

He wrapped his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. Her head fit in the crook of his shoulder perfectly, like that was where she belonged. He said "Maybe that's why we managed to find each other. Two screwed up souls meet and become whole again."

A tear slipped down on her cheek and she smiled mockingly "If only it didn't hurt this much."

He looked at her and a weird content feeling spread in his chest. I love you, Lee Ji-eun. He couldn't say it out loud yet, but he definitely felt it. 

Luhan ran inside the park, panting slightly. When she stood up suddenly and walked out of the dining room, he knew that she was running away. He immediately stood up and ran after her too. He made a few missed turns but he saw her enter this park and now, he was combing the entire park, anxious to find her.

Just then, he turned a corner and lifted his head. An unknown dread crept inside him. The moonlight shone down on two figures sitting on the swings, making them luminescent. Their backs were facing him, and the girl was leaning on the guy's shoulder. From behind, he could see that the girl was dressed in a long flowy dress and her long brown hair tumbled down behind her. He felt a sudden pain and his brain tried frantically to erase this from his sight.

Please not let it be her.... Please not let it be her....

The girl turned slightly and smiled at the boy. Luhan caught a glimpse of her face and he felt like he was suddenly drenched in ice cold water. It was her. The guy smiled softly and looked tenderly at the girl. Luhan saw that it was Sehun. Their body language clearly showed that they obviously were more than friends. They looked at each other with so much tenderness. It hurt. He clenched his fists and trembled slightly.

He purposely ran out of the Park Hyatt and ran past four blocks and an entire park, just to see this.

Pain stabbed his vision and he suddenly found it hard to breathe. His heart felt like it had smashed into a million pieces.  

Why do they call it a broken heart when every part of my body feels like it's broken too?

转身离开, 分手说不出来, 海鸟跟鱼相爱, 只是一场意外, 我们的爱, 竟累积成伤害.