*In Chapter 29, Sehun asked Luhan to write him a letter every month, telling him about Ji-eun and how she's doing. This chapter consists of the letters that Luhan had wrote to Sehun over the period of time since he had left.*

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Oh Sehun, you are such an idiot. I can't believe I'm writing this letter to you but since you told me to write you one every month, telling you about her and how she's doing, I will. I'm also using this opportunity to guilt trip you, by the way. Lee Ji-eun is an absolute wreck, you moron. She hasn't eaten in days, she hasn't slept properly in the two weeks since you've been gone and she refuses to talk or even cry. All she does is sit by her window, staring into space, her eyes empty and hollow like shells. I tried talking to her but she refuses to acknowledge me, or anyone else. You are such an idiot, you know that? Why the hell did you have to leave?

*

Oh Sehun, it's been a month since you left. She's finally eating again. She still refuses to talk though. Where the hell are you?

*

It's been two months. She's finally speaking but she's just so... quiet all the time. I'm worried.

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I saw her laugh yesterday. I didn't know why. We were having dinner with our families and she suddenly just started laughing. All of us were shocked but she wouldn't stop laughing. In the end, she had to leave the dinner table because she just couldn't stop. I'm glad that she's laughing again, I really am. I wish she would laugh more often. She's barely laughed since you left, thanks a lot, idiot. I swear, I don't even know why I bother writing you letters.

*

Oh Sehun, it's been six months since you've left. She's much better now. She's been eating properly. She's been talking too. I'm still worried though. I'll probably never stop being worried. She's terrifying me, Sehun. One moment she's all happy and the next moment, she's locking herself up in her room and refusing to come out. I'm scared. I'm just so scared. 

*

Oh Sehun, today, she asked me a question. We were sitting at the patio in the garden and she was admiring one of the red roses the gardener grew. Suddenly, she turned to me and asked 'Do you think Sehun's happy now?' I didn't know what to answer and I still don't. Are you happy? She's not happy, you know. She hasn't been happy since you left. I told her that you're probably rotting at some corner of the world right now and feeling really unhappy. She didn't like my answer. She said that she wants you to be happy. Well, despite what I feel, I do hope you're happy now, so at least she'll be happy knowing that you're happy.

*

Today, I found out that she keeps a calendar and she marks every single day of your absence. It's been a year, two months and eleven days, Oh Sehun. She's graduating from high school soon. I guess she'll probably want to go overseas. I think she wants to erase all her memories. I think she wants to escape.

*

Today was the first time I've seen her cry since you left one year four months and sixteen days ago. I'll never forget it.

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It's been two years. Are you ever coming back?