"I'm sorry, I just can't do this."

That was the first thing he said to me. I trembled slightly and I looked up at him. "What?"

"I just reunited with my mother. We're flying off overseas tomorrow afternoon. I-I won't be coming back." It took all of his strength to say out those final few words and it took all his courage to not break his cold emotionless facade in front of her. He couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't lie to her.

"What are you talking about? Oh Sehun, you're kidding, right? Come on, stop fooling around." I tried to laugh but it just came out as a weak forced chuckle. He didn't reply, he just continued staring at me. I felt myself fall into the pits of desolation and I said coldly, feeling my words turning the air icy around us.

"Are you sure that's it? Are you sure my dad didn't give you a cheque to get you to leave this place, to leave me?"

Once again, he remained quiet. I felt a sudden aggravation overcome me and I screamed "Answer me, goddammit! If you don't answer me, it means what my father said was right. You were just using me, weren't you? You never cared about me. I was just your gateway to get easy cash, wasn't it? Tell me, how much money did my father give you? 1 million? 10 million? 50 million?"

"Ji-eun, it's not like that...." His voice was a soft murmur but hysteria rose up and I cut him off.

"And how much money did your father managed to get out of mine? He was the one that made my father bankrupt, wasn't he? What did he do, huh? ANSWER ME!" I screamed until my voice was hoarse and I started choking. I felt like I was going to die. He just remained silent, staring at me but I could see the pain in his eyes. 

I inhaled sharply and stared at him coldly.

"You are such a filthy liar and I never want to have anything to do with you again. I can't believe I thought I was in love with you. Hah, I guess I was slightly misguided about the concept of love, to have been confused about my feelings for you. You are a filthy bastard and I hope you'll fade off into the corners of hell."

I threw that last remark at him and ran away.

******

The cheque landed on Lee Ji-suk's table. He raised his eyebrows and looked at the young man in front of him. "Are you sure you don't want this? It's going to be very helpful to you when you go overseas."

"I don't need your filthy money. You keep it."

Her father stared at him and he felt his insides curl up. "You do know that you still have to leave the country, right?"

"You don't have to remind me. I'll go overseas and I'll disappear off. You'll never have to see me again. I.... I'll never see her again." Sehun said, his voice softening on the last part. He slowly walked out of Ji-suk's office, leaving her father to stare at his retreating figure, fading off into the shadows.

******

"You better take care of her, Luhan."

"Of course I will, and I will do it better than you ever had, Oh Sehun. Where are you going?"

".... I'm going away. J-just take care of her, okay?"

"Does she know that you didn't accept the cheque? She hates you only because of that, you know. She thinks you betrayed her. Just tell her that you didn't accept the money, and you're leaving on your own will."

"Don't tell her that. Don't tell her anything. Let her continue believing I took the money. Let her hate me. I deserve to be hated by her anyway, like she said, I am a filthy liar."

"Sehun...."

"Can you do me a favor? Can... can you write me a letter every month, telling me about her and what she's doing? Don't tell her though, just keep this between the two of us. Even if she wants nothing more to do with me, I want to know whether she's alright, and that she'll be happy."

"You are a fool, Sehun. You are such a fool. Why are you leaving? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

******

".... Hi, mum."

"Sehun dear, you've grown so much! I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to see or talk to you all these years, I am such a terrible mother."

Sehun's mother hugged Sehun tightly. They were at Incheon International Airport and they were about to leave the country. Sehun hugged her back and said "It's okay, mum, I don't blame you."

Sehun's mother eyed her son shrewdly "Has anything happened to you?"

".... No."

"Don't try to fool me, Sehun. I may not have been able to see you for years, but I am still a mother, and I can guess that something bad has happened to make you want to leave Korea."

"Nothing has happened, mother."

They were lining up at the boarding gate, about to board the plane. Sehun looked around the familiar airport and breathed in deeply. It was time to say goodbye; it was time to bid farewell to everything he had ever known.

He could never come back again.

Just then, a flicker caught his eye. He turned around just in time to see a tall thin figure dart behind a pillar. He inhaled sharply. Could it be...? He continued staring at that pillar, like he was willing it to burst into flames. At that moment, a beautiful pale girl stepped out and stared at him, her gaze imploring. He felt himself getting ripped into shreds.

She was dressed in an old shirt and sweatpants, and she looked like she had just got up and rushed here.

He quickly turned away, pretending like he had never noticed her. 

He slowly entered the boarding gate, his back rigid and upright, as cold as a statue.

"Sehun ah, why are you crying?"

He looked up to realize that he had unknowingly been crying, tears flowing silently down his cheeks. He gazed guiltily at his mother. She looked behind him and saw that tall thin girl still hiding behind the pillar, staring heartbrokenly at him. His mother nodded knowingly and said softly "Are you sure you're fine? Why are you crying?"

"I'm fine. I- I just realized I'm going to miss Korea."

They entered the boarding gate and he turned around one last time, looking at that figure hiding behind the pillar.

"Goodbye." He whispered brokenly. The clouds seemed to rumble, and the sky seemed to darken, as he disappeared inside the boarding gate, never to come out again.

*****

I knew he saw me.

I knew he saw me hiding behind the pillar.

I knew I wasn't supposed to be here.

I knew I was supposed to hate him, for betraying me.

But I just couldn't.

I remained hiding behind that pillar, even though he had long since disappeared inside the boarding gate. He was gone.

He was gone...

Never to come back again.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out spaces, worn out places
Bright and early with the daily races
Going nowhere.

And the tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
And my head, I want to drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, no tomorrow.

And I find it kind of funny and I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
And I find it hard to tell you and I find it hard to take
When people run in circles, it's a very, very
Mad world.