Chapter 18

 

After Dae Hyun left, I told Se Na the truth. The whole thing that happened today. I also put in some comments on how helpful she was bringing up the whole machinegunsmoker thing. She have been apologizing for hundreds of times continuously. Although I was a tiny little bit furious, I didn't take it out on her. It wasn't her fault at all. She was just trying to be happy for me, her bestfriend. It wasn't wrong. Because that what bestfriends do.

 

They feel happy for each other.

 

I closed the door behind me and laid on my mattress. I took my phone beside the pillow and scrolled the notifications on the top. I got about 56 messages, if I saw that right, and I already know who's the sender.

 

@machinegunsmoker : u there?

@machinegunsmoker : hey i just want to say that im sorry

@machinegunsmoker : i really am

@machinegunsmoker : it just that something came up

@machinegunsmoker : its unavoidable

@machinegunsmoker : im sorry

@machinegunsmoker : plis read

@machinegunsmoker : i want u 2 know that im sorry

@machinegunsmoker : i shldnt back off

@machinegunsmoker : im sorry

@machinegunsmoker : plis painkiller

@machinegunsmoker : forgive me will ya?

@machinegunsmoker : i admit it

@machinegunsmoker : its my fault

@machinegunsmoker : i know

@machinegunsmoker : please

@machinegunsmoker : maybe we can try that again

@machinegunsmoker : next time?

@machinegunsmoker : please just reply

 

I scrolled more through the endless apologizes he sent me which also consist of some other things too, but still apologize-related. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to feel as if he had so much effect on me, like Dae Hyun did. It was a stupid of me to have this slight liking to him. Just slight. Because he made me feel comfortable. He made me feel special. Despite the fact that we barely know each other and I'd never see him in person throughout the whole year we've been talking, I feel happy every time we're talking. Well not really talking but you know what I meant by that.

 

And I actually wanted to meet him. I really do. I wanted to get to know him. In person.

 

But he ditched me. That sounded pathetic, right? But he did. He ditched me.

God, I'm so stupid. What am I expecting from a mere online chatting?

Don't underestimated me. Definitely not the whole fantasy full-of-fairytale wedding but there was something. Friends? Maybe.

 

I turned off my phone without replying his texts and placed the phone away, holding myself back from the desire to reply back him.

 

I looked up to the ceiling and sighed and shut my eyes closed. I've been sleeping the whole day and I'm still sleepy?