Chapter 31: Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people

The ride was undeniably quiet and tense; they could literally feel the warmth even though the cold breeze from the air conditioner was sufficient to cool them off. It was a matter of time before Yoongi exploded the truth that he kept for two years to himself. Jungkook cleared his throat which brought Yoongi back to reality; he owed the younger boy an explanation.

“You need to get your wound treated Kkuk..” Yoongi finally broke the ice between them that basically took him forever to do so. The other boy nodded slightly while staring blankly outside the window exasperating a heavy sigh.

He knew Jungkook was confused and might be a little furious to find out his best friend had been lying to his face. It was not easy for Yoongi to live a double life either but he had no choice. In order to capture Max without failed this time, he had to sacrifice everything for his team so they could lock him up for good.

“I never lied about my name, it is Min Yoongi. Suga is my undercover name, so basically I only reveal my real name to my closest friends. I am working with Special Investigation Unit which is formed with a sole purpose to capture sly criminal like Max. My team and I have been watching his activity closely included your father. I don’t think your father got to tell you this since his unexpected death shocked all of us too. He had been helping our team which was really helpful” Jungkook flinched in his seat. He had zero idea about his dad helping the police force despite knowing how dangerous Max could be.

Yoongi sighed as his eyes focused on the road “The night of your father’s death, he was supposed to turn himself in. He thought it was the only way to get to Max faster if the accomplice made a confession. However, your father never showed up. We assumed something changed his mind, so I decided to pay him a visit the next day. That was my first time meeting you, Kook” Jungkook rubbed his temple.

He would not forget how their friendship started though it was rather a rough start but he learned how to trust Yoongi and they eventually became a good friend. A sad smile spread across his face “How can I forget. If it weren’t for hyung, I would be dead by now” Jungkook stole a glance at the older boy.

A flash of memory came rushing into his mind.

Agony and sorrow, he was left alone in this empty house. His father’s body was nowhere to be found, the only thing that visible was his blood stain on the floor. It clicked him inside, it was not a dream. His father’s death was beyond real and he couldn’t see his mother anywhere.

So, that scumbag really took her. He clenched his fist with a loud grunt bellowing his frustration. What just happened?

He raked his fingers angrily in his hair, with a hard tug, he hit his back head against the wall. He repeated it all over again ignoring the throbbing pain on his skull. Jungkook felt nothing but empty inside.

His throat was aching with a desire to cry aloud, so he did without shame. His voice echoed throughout the apartment. Jungkook continued to vent his anger and frustration until he could scream no more.

He lost his father overnight and he did nothing about it.

He lost his mother when he could have safe her.

What was he thinking? What a weakling.

Jungkook arose from his feet as he stared blankly across the room, it was empty and cold and some more he could still smell the gunshot powder and blood. He just wanted to wash the dirt off from him, the painful memory. To be haunted by his father’s death how sickening was that.

He absentmindedly dragged his feet inside the cold bathroom, he turn on the water tap to fill the bathtub. He had no idea why he did that however all he needed was a real cleansing. Without waiting for it to be fully filled, he sunk himself inside.

The coldness that he felt was exhilarating; he just wanted to be buried deep under the water. His heart sank deeper as he cried alone in the room. Jungkook assured himself it was not his fault but his mind refused to comply.

He rested his back slowly against the edge of the tub, feeling the water quickly lapped the length of the tub and started filling it. The water against his ears, and he closed his eyes feeling defeated. He wanted to take a short rest for awhile, that was all he needed.

Jungkook’s nightmare would be buried together with him.

“WHAT THE HELL” a faint voice chimed in panic. Cold water spurted out rapidly sloshing against Yoongi’s body as he quickly pulled out the younger boy out from the tub. Jungkook realized he was brought back to reality.

He panted trying to catch a breath before opening his eyes looking confusedly at Yoongi’s direction “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF KID? What the hell” he heard Yoongi yelled at him. He had never seen him before so it baffled him.

The freezing cold of the water made his legs numb. He kept his cold expression straight without making any effort to answer this stranger in front of him. Yoongi pulled him off from the bathtub and dragged him out to the living room.

Who was him to judge his life?

Was he tried to suicide and turned out this stranger became his so called knight in the shining armour?

He should have just let him die.

So the nightmares could be buried together with him. No more pain.

The death of his father as well as the disappearance of his mother indeed gave a significant impact in Jungkook’s life. At first, he no longer saw hope and lights in his life to the extent of wanting to die in order to be freed from the misery. It was rather embarrassing to remember how selfish he was when he decided to die . Yoongi sudden appearance in his life that time literally was a huge miracle. He got him back to his sense even though Jungkook hated everyone who tried to show their sympathy on him. Being pitied by someone else made him feel weak.

“Trust me, I haven’t even decided to go undercover until that day when I saw how horrible your condition was Kkuk. I felt obligated to your father for putting your family in danger. I know by helping you, it can’t revive your parents again but th