25 | Regrets

***

It was like a thorn was taken away from Jessica's throat; she had never felt this relax and satisfied with her life. And that wide smile in her face that had been apparent for the past 30 minutes is not an illusion. Yes, she felt happy with her decision. She can even still see it before her eyes, their reactions after she revealed it. It was a good thing that all of them are supportive. Well except for Donghae, he in shock and couldn't say a single word. And since Krystal is outside too when she revealed her cancer, she has no worries over her little girl.

"Your smile just means everything in this world, Ma'am."

She shifted her eyes to her side and reminds herself that her nurse had been in the side, quietly watching her while she's preparing her medicine.

"So keep smiling, okay?"

She slowly gets up from her lying position as Seohyun approached her with a glass of water in her right and her medicine in the left. She took the pill first and put it in before grabbing the glass of water and have her few gulps.

"I'm a proud nurse and friend." Seohyun softly added as she took the glass back.

"This is all thanks to you, Nurse Seo." Jessica stands on her feet, only to wrap her arms around her nurse. "If you weren't in my side, I wouldn't have the courage to say the words I needed to say to my family. And because of you also, I love how my family is cheering me on to fight against cancer. Now I'm confident to show the world what I am going through."

"What... Do you mean?" Seohyun's voice came out low, as she had no idea with the blonde's words.

Pulling back gently from the hug, Jessica smiled triumphantly to her nurse. "Tomorrow, isn't it the day the company will announce the new president? Or will it still be me? I'm going to grab the chance and tell the company about my illness. I don't know what will be the outcome but I am now brave and confident to face whatever it is."

"Chincha? Aigoo... Ma'am... You're taking risks. What if it wouldn't be good?"

"Then so be it. I'm still their chairman after all. But my power would be lesser if in case I can't get their votes for President. But you know what? It's the first time that I wouldn't care. After all, I have enough continuing the legacy of my father. And I'm sure he is proud of me up there." Jessica smile is unstoppable. She just feels like the happiest tonight, after she revealed her cancer. So ironic for someone who is sick?

Seohyun as a nurse and friend feels like the proudest, staring into the new Jessica Jung. The fear she had to be known as a sick person is no longer. It was all replace with fearless. And she loved it. She loved what she's seeing.

"What else should I actually say? Instead, I'll be just right beside you, Ma'am. And I will never leave your side in that moment." And she promised to support her.

For the second time, Jessica initiates a comforting warm hug to her ever so kind and adorable at the same time, nurse. "Tonight is the 90th night right?"

"Yeah... I thought you don't know, Ma'am." Seohyun's heart skips a beat with the sudden mention with her job.

"Hmm, okay." Says Jessica only as she pulled back and fixed her nurse's hair. Seohyun can't help but feel shy. "Is my son doing well?"

"Yes?"

"Is my son doing well in taking care of you as well?" The blonde rephrase her question, as her brows raised.

Seohyun smiled awkwardly. "Of... Of course, Ma'am." Since she had never shared what’s going on between her and Yoong yet.

"Are you lying to me?" Jessica suspiciously looked at the younger.

Seohyun chuckled. "What? Why would I lie?"

"You seemed uncomfortable."

"I'm just uncomfortable talking my love life. Especially that I'm dating your son, Ma'am." Seohyun's cheeks turned like a tomato. She averted her gazes on the side, avoiding the older's gazes on her.

Jessica let out a soft giggle. "You're a cutie, nurse Seo."

"I'm just telling you the truth. And there's no need to ask about it honestly. Yoong, he had been such a sweet lover." Seohyun bit her lip, can't believe she just told her boss about it. Not to mention, she's the mother of her 'lover'.

"Alright, alright. I won't ask now. Um, it looks like you guys are indeed going steady and strong. I'm happy to see that. Anyway, I'll check Krystal on the next room first." Jessica says with a soft chuckle. She leaves the room casually, leaving the younger alone in the master bedroom.

Sighing in relief, Seohyun shook her head to get rid of her blush and began fixing up, so she can return to her room.

---

Jessica proceeds to her daughter's bedroom, expecting to see her already in bed, but she was a little surprised when she saw her still wide awake and watching some TV shows. Next to her, her brother. She now understands who opened it.

"Yoong? Didn't I tell you that tv should only be opened during weekends?" She approached them with her infamous fierce yet icy look to her son, who's apparently eating pop corn with Krystal. Both are so immense to it that they were surprised to see her.

"It wasn't me! It's Krystal! She opened it earlier." Yoong quickly denied and handed the bowl of pop corn to his younger sister.

Krystal instantly transferred the bowl to her brother. "No! It wasn't me, Omma! Oppa was the one who opened it. I was brushing my teeth earlier when he barge inside and-"

"Fine. It's me." Yoong covered his sister's mouth to stop her before she can tell their mother everything. "I just got bored in my room after I finished brushing my teeth and my unfinished work from the company... and thought of having a movie with Krystal. Is that wrong Omma?"

"Movie? It's not a movie, Oppa! It's obviously a local variety show we're watching!" Krystal had pushed her brother's hand off of only to raise her voice to tell the truth.

"Aish!" Yoong covered again. "It's not a movie then, but you don't have to raise your voice on Me." he scolded even though she had a puppy eyes on him.

"And Yoong, you don't have to cover your sister like that. She's speaking." Jessica scolded her son on the other hand as she sat down next to her daughter.

"Fine." Yoong let go of the younger. The latter quickly moves to her mother and wrapped her arms around her. "Aigoo... " He ruffles her hair and smile amusingly before he turned to his mother. "Where's Seohyun, Omma? Did she go to bed already?"

"Hmm? Probably. Just check on the bedroom. She might be still there too."

"Okay." Yoong took the bowl of pop corn but Krystal suddenly grabs the opposite side too. With just her begging face, he couldn't say no and just give it to her. But before leaving the room, he gabs one handful of popcorn and kiss his mother's forehead. "Good night, Omma." and hastily leaves the room.

Upon seeing the door was close, Krystal looked up to her mother. "Omma, I'm sorry. I did not tell you Oppa wants to watch TV with me. I know it's only allowed during weekend. But he was persistent. He said he jus want to kill time while waiting for Seohyun Unnie, so I just let him."

"It's okay, honey. At least, you get to have some popcorn." Jessica chuckled softly, and pinched her daughter's cute cheeks. She fixes her hair in the process.

"So you're not mad at me and Oppa?" Krystal's smile returned to her face.

"Of course not. Unfortunately..." Jessica pause and the young girl pout her lips while looking back at her. She gently caress her cheeks as she continues, "This is the last time. You know we should be studying instead of watching TV, right?"

"Yes, Omma. I promise this is the last time." Krystal nodded and flashed her eye-smile. She picked up one pop corn and feeds her mother. "Is it delicious Omma? Oppa and I cooked it earlier."

Jessica giggles as she eats the pop corn. "Absolutely tasty. It's your Chef Yoong who cooked after all. Now, let's wash up so we can change to your pajamas, okay?"

"Chincha? Can we wait for Appa first?"

"Donghae Appa or Yul Appa?"

"My Appa have already left after the dinner. Of course, it's Uncle Yul." Krystal replied with a bright smile.

Jessica had to pause for a while when she heard 'Uncle' again next to her lover. "Of-Of course." But it's somehow the truth after all. There shouldn't be any upsetting feeling inside of her. "Let's go?" getting on her feet, Krystal jumps off of the couch and held her mother's hand. She took another pop corn from the bowl before she completely went to the bathroom with her mother.

Moments later, Jessica and her little girl walks out her bathroom and Krystal rushed to her bed, climbing there immediately, while Jessica headed to her closet to get her daughter's pajamas. Just then, the door opens and Yul walks inside with a big smile, upon seeing her daughter's smile, the moment she saw him.

"How's my little girl?" He approached her on the bed and the latter quickly jumps on him, in which he automatically catches her. "What the. You did not warn me, princess! I almost did not caught you."

Krystal just giggles. He chuckled and squeezes her instead.

"Kyaaa!!!" Came Krystal's short squeal.

Yul put her back to the bed and started tickling her on her stomach. She was only on her shorts, so it's easy to make her laugh.

"Stop it Appa! Ahahaha!!!" But she would roll out and tried to avoid him.

Yet he will stubbornly grab her and keeps on ticking her. Krystal doing the same but ends up laughing and squealing, filling up the entire room with her cute noise only.

"Someone needs to be reminded again." As Jessica got her little girl her pajamas, she has her one brow rising for the two persons on the bed. "Or two childish kids." But she was ignored only. Krystal got her chance to avoid as she jumps off of the bed, but Yul came right after, chasing her around the room. "Aigoo, when will these two stop acting so childish?" Jessica rolled her eyes back, as she takes her seat at the edge of the bed. Watching her little girl being chase around, she made a decision to capture her if she gets close to her grasp.

It took quite a while before she caught her in her arms.

"Omma, Appa will kill me." Krystal told her mother while trying to calm her breathing back. "Can... You stop... Him?" She added between her heavy breathing.

Yul collapsed behind them on the bed. "Just put on your pajamas already. You might get s cold again if you stay shirtless". She mumbles while catching on her breath as well. There are a little sweats that rolls from his forehead to his cheek.

Jessica can't help but hit his lover on his arm. "She will really get s cold because you chase her! Aish! Get her milk already!"

Yul just stuck his tongue out and get up again. He casually walks out casually. He actually doesn't need to be asked. He already knew what will he do next, since its bed time for his little girl. But his smile never left his face. He is extra happy tonight knowing that he is indeed the father. It's like he won a lottery without buying a ticket. And that happiness is beyond compare. How much he wanted to tell Jessica already, but tonight isn't the night yet. She'll tell her once it's only them in one room. "This is best night of my life." He said as he skips all the way to the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Jessica is helping her little girl with her pajamas when the latter asked something.

"Omma, what happened to Appa earlier?" Krystal is referring to her Donghae Appa, which was quite and looks sad when she saw him walking out of the dining room. She and her Seohyun Unnie exited the room as her mother's request after they had their meal. So she has no idea what did they talked about while they're outside. Especially that it seems, her father's mood have changed.

"Donghae Appa?" Jessica wanted to make sure if her understanding is the same as what her little is talking about.

"Yes." Krystal nodded. "He seems sad when he went out the dining room. Not too bright anymore when he also hugs me." Her lips formed into a cute pout.

"Oh, I didn't see it, honey." Jesica replied truthfully. "But he might be just tired only. You know, he came from his work before going straight here, right?"

"Chincha? No wonder." Krystal is convinced. "Poor, Appa. He always works so hard for me, though."

"That's right." Feeling a bit proud Krystal knows such thing; Jessica smiled warmly to her daughter and fixed her hair with a hair brush. "So don't think too much about it, okay? My little princess still needs to have a beauty sleep tonight. So tomorrow, it's another bright day." She softly added.

Krystal's heart flutters. "Omma will have a meeting with the company's board tomorrow, right? I'm going too." She unconsciously reminded her mother while smiling so wide.

"Eh? Who told you about that?"

"Oppa. He said he and I will be there, cheering for you together." Krystal giggles in excitement.

"Your Yoong Oppa told you that?!"

Upon hearing such reaction, Krystal turned to face her mother. "Wae? Am I not allowed to go Omma?"

"You have your school to attend tomorrow, Princess."

"I know. But it's okay if I skip it. I will cheer on you after all."

Jessica literally flicks her daughter's forehead. "You can't skip tomorrow."

"Wae???!!!" Krystal whines as she wiggles her body.

"School first before anything else!"

"But there's nothing interesting for tomorrow. We already have our quiz Omma! So please... Let me go tomorrow too!!!"

"No!"

"Don't say no, Please!!!" Krystal continues to whine while clasping her both hands. And she put on her best puppy face to convince her mother.

"If I said no, it's no princess. Now go prepare your bed." Jessica can't be bait by her daughter's infamous begs and she commanded her instead.

"I will prepare my bed if you let me Omma."

"Then I'm not reading you new story tonight."

Krystal sighed in defeat. She did not answer and just fixed her bed reluctantly.

Jessica is in the side, watching her daughter with an amuse smile, but she felt proud at the same time. Krystal might be stubborn but she always obeys once she can no longer do anything about it. She doesn't want to spoil her as much as possible.

As soon as she finished, Krystal climbs to her bed and tuck herself inside the comforter quietly. Jessica then grabs the new book she bought for her daughter and follows her daughter inside the comforter.

"I'm sorry Omma." Krystal felt guilty and apologized to her mother, as she hugs her on her waist.

"It's okay honey, just don't be stubborn sometimes. You know Omma loves you so much and I want always the best for you only. Skipping school won't ever help you."

Krystal smiled and nodded understandingly. She really feels like she's in her real mother's embrace by now. And she hopes this will never end.

"Aigoo, your Appa is taking time, isn't he?"

"Hmm?" She pulled away from the hug to face her mother.

"Your Appa preparing for your milk. Well, let's just start with the story." Jessica shrugs and opens the book.

Krystal's attention averts to the book on top of the pillow that was on top of her mother's lap. "The Secret Garden?"

"Yup. Have you heard about this?"

"No." Krystal innocently shakes her head.

"Well then, let's get started." Jessica softly said and began reading the first chapter of the book.

Just as they're starting to get immense with the story, the door opens, immediately causing them to turn their heads to the door.

"I'm sorry for the long wait. I still have to talk with our chef. And he said he will come back again for dinner tomorrow." Said Yul as he walks inside with a glass of milk in his hand. He sat down at the edge of the bed and handed the glass to his lover and she gives it to their daughter. He immediately joined them excitedly in the bed, occupying the left side of his daughter. While his daughter is drinking the milk, he took the book from Jessica.

"Is this the book you bought yesterday, Sica?"

"Obviously, Yul baby." Jessica said sweetly and slightly fixed his hair.

"Let me read for my princess this time, then." Yul flashed his brightest smile.

"Chincha, Appa? I thought you don't like reading me a book because it's boring?" Krystal asked after she put the glass down.

"Yeah, what did you eat tonight and you change your mind, eh?" Jessica giggles, teasing her lover playfully. It's always her reading for Krystal because Yul finds it boring. And he only want to hear her voice during their daughter's bed time stories though.

"Ugh, It doesn't mean I don't like reading means I won't ever going to read my princess a book. I don't seem to see any problem about this. Or am I forbidden?" Yul asked his daughter, who always loves her mother reading her a book. He wanted to ask for her permission, since it's the first time.

Krystal turned her head to her mother first, rising her brows, asking for her permission as well.

"It's up to you honey. You know I will be just here." Jessica caresses her daughter's cheeks briefly.

Turning to her father back, Krystal nodded her head and turns the page where she and her mother have stopped.

"Wait. Finish your milk first." Jessica reminded and took the glass of milk, giving it back to her daughter. The latter had a pout on her face but she took it and finish nonetheless.

Yul can't help it and feel proud, watching his daughter obeying. He really felt grateful for Donghae as well and he raised Krystal like this. 'I will continue whatever Donghae gave to you, Krystal. I will be your best father as well.'

After emptying her glass, she give it back to her mother and scooted closer to her father. Yul grabs the chance and let his daughter leaned into his chest as he started to read the book for her while Jessica is in the side, listening to him as well.

But unknown to him, Jessica is overwhelmed and mesmerized by what she can see; Krystal and Yul having their moment together. She wanted to capture it with a camera, but she thought it's best to capture it with her eyes and her heart, as she once again treasure such moment like this.

-

After making sure their little girl have fallen asleep completely, the couple returned to their bedroom, hand in hand. But the moment they reach the bed, they let go of each other's hands as they lied down. Yul automatically wrapped his arms around Jessica, as they cuddle inside the comforter comfortably.

"What's with you today?" Came the blonde's soft voice as she looked up and meet her lover's gazes on her.

"Hmm?"

"Earlier, you're extra happy. I mean, not just in Krystal's bedroom but also after the dinner. I even thought you will be sad for learning about my cancer. But since you know it before I told you, I expected that you will not react too much. But after that dinner, after Donghae left, I feel like you have done something or eaten something and you played with Krystal again in her playroom. I couldn't even heard about you after dinner. Well now that you're trap in my embrace, tell me what's making my hubby extra happy. Extra hype... Whatever you call that."

Yul giggles a little. "You're so adorable baby." And pinched his lover's cheeks. "But to tell you honestly, I just received a gift that's why tonight is extra special for me." He grinned afterward.

"Gift? What gift?" Jessica curiously responded.

"Do you remember when we are still starting our family?" Yul put cupped the blonde's face with his left only and started rubbing her cheeks with his thumb delicately.

"Hmm? Yoong?"

"Before Yoong came to our life."

"The desperation to have our own child that our parents are looking forward?" Jessica guesses.

"That's it. And tonight it came true." A meaningful joyful smile formed in Yul's face.

"Huh? How so?"

"I don't know how it came true, but I'm really, really, really happy and grateful. It's like; my heart will burst from the inside because of this happiness."

"Yeah, you're obviously. But I don't seriously understand. Would you mind explaining it to me?" Jessica whines, couldn't take the curiosity she had inside.

"You will understand soon." However, Yul just meaningfully grinned.

"Ugh, just tell it to me!"

"Hehe maybe tomorrow?"

"Are you freaking serious?" Jessica hits her lover's shoulder, getting impatient and definitely disappointed.

Yul chuckled and squeezes Jessica with all his might. The blonde pushed him away, sending him glares; he just grabs her back and hug her tightly. "Just wait patiently. hehe."

Jessica wanted to struggle from the hug but she ends up hugging him back and cuddles with him. But her smile can't be stop as it formed like a fool in her lips. Yul's biggest smile he had ever had is also apparent, while he and his soon to be wife is closing their eyes, drifting to sleep together, unconsciously. There's no need for 'good nights' when their hearts both know what their minds are saying.

***

Drinking from time to time, Donghae would sometimes utter 'Why I did not treat her well', and 'I should have been a good friend'. He keeps saying the same sentence over and over, all that because of Jessica, who happened to have a cancer. He is totally sad and broken at the same time. But he is totally regretful, for not honestly treating Jessica well from the start. And now she's sick, he feels like it's his fault why she suffers likes this again. It was his entire fault though why she also suffers alone from his obsession that time.

All that he had done comes rushing back on him all over again.

He felt so horrible and wanted to scream out his regretfulness. And so he did. He throws his 20th glass and screams so angrily.

The bartender of the club was almost hit if he did not see his flying empty glass. "Sir, you're already drunk. You should go be going home now." But he cares for their costumer, nonetheless.

"Give me another glass! I'm not yet done!" Donghae yelled and dropped her head on top of the counter. "Just one more and I'm leaving this place. Please... I beg you..." He begs as tears are flowing like a river from his eyes. There's no way his going home until his pain subsided. And the alcohol is his only way to get rid of his mess. All these feelings inside are just unbearable. It will tear him apart if he can't cover it up with an alcohol.

The bartender doesn't want to give their costumer what he wants but the manager merely signals him to give it. So reluctantly, he handed him another glass of alcohol.

***

Seohyun had instantly jumps in surprise when she saw who was standing by the door of her bathroom while he is leaning to the door. "What the. How did you get into my room?" And that wonders her.

"Should It be me who should be surprised? What's with your face?" Yoong grimace at his girlfriend's face. It has something that he had no idea what.

"What?!" Seohyun confusedly replied.

Taking a step forward, Yoong reached for the younger girl's shoulders and turned her to face the mirror. "Don't tell me it wasn't you who put that white thing in your face?"

"Oh." Seohyun chuckled. "This is just a beauty mask. It doesn't harm me nor is this some scary stuff." It's funny how her boyfriend had no idea about it.

"Beauty mask?" Yoong's brows rose innocently. "What's that?"

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