Mingyu thinking I was in love with him was quite shocking, but at the same time, I found it amusing. Sure, I'd thought about that matter too, but I'd never really accepted it as the explanation for the kiss. Honestly, I didn't know the answer myself since I'd never experienced love and so I shrugged my shoulders, shaking my head: "I don't think so."

"You what?", Mingyu asked, confused.

"I don't think I'm in love with you", I replied, smiling at the strength in my voice. If he wanted to humiliate me, then this wasn't the way to do so. I was pretty sure that whatever had happened that night had been a mistake, my feelings playing a trick on me, and nothing more. 

"I guess I was just confused back then, but now that I think about it, there's no way that I could be in love with you. I'm not gay", I explained to him. Mingyu seemed to be taken aback at my words. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out and so he just closed it again. For a moment, he was silent and somehow, I felt happier than I should've when seeing him so perplexed.

I liked having the upper hand.

"Are you trying to delude yourself right now?", Mingyu then asked, letting out a short laugh: "You clearly are in love with me. I mean, everyone has noticed it, even the fans! And now you're telling me the kiss was because you were confused? What kind of bull is that?"

I laughed. 

"Mingyu, I don't know if you've read too much of our fans' weird imaginations or if the stress is too much for you, but I'm not in love with you", I only smirked, suddenly enjoying our conversation: "Right now you actually sound like you want me to be, though."

"Of course I don't want that!", he yelled, probably angry because I fought back instead if just taking his words in: "I just want you to come to realization. I know you better than anyone, alright? And if there's one thing I'm 100% sure about then it's the fact that you're in love with me."

"Why does that even matter to you anymore?", I laughed. Honestly, I had no idea what Mingyu was trying to get at when accusing me to be in love with him, but the whole thing was getting funny and I seriously found it amusing how Mingyu tried to protect his thesis. 

"It's not like you want to be friends with me again, so I really don't understand why you want me to 'come to realization' or however you want to call it", I said, still laughing. Mingyu only looked at me, his eyes showing anger and confusion, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

And just when I turned around and wanted to walk off, thinking I'd won the 'fight' between us, he suddenly grabbed my wrist, spun me around and only a second later, I found his lips on mine.

Instantly, the tables turned.

Instead of pushing Mingyu away, I only stood there, too shocked to move a single muscle. And soon, even if I knew that it wasn't a good idea, I kissed back, letting my emotions go to waste. I didn't even think about the situation we were in because, god, the kiss just felt way too good to make me realize what I was doing. But Mingyu knew it, he knew what he was doing, what I was doing, he knew everything.

And so, just like that, he let go of my lips, took a step back and did nothing but smirk at the emotional mess right in front of him. Flustered, I didn't even dare to look at him, still feeling my lips tingle from the sensation of the kiss, my heart beating faster than ever. I felt utter happiness, my cheeks flushed red, my lips curved into a smile.

Until Mingyu spoke up.

"And you want me to believe that you're not in love with me? You should look at yourself right now, you're a mess", he said, amusement lingering in his voice. Immediately, I looked up, just in time to see the devilish smile that Mingyu was wearing. 

"What do you mean?", I only mumbled, not understanding a single thing.

"First you're so damn proud for 'not being in love with me' but as soon as I kiss you, you're done for. It's kind of ironic, isn't it?", he laughed at me, showing me how pathetic I was: "Oh wait, don't tell me you thought I kissed you because I like you, did you?"

Perplexed, I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to process his words. Nothing made sense anymore and I didn't know how to answer Mingyu, at all. I was ashamed of myself for liking and accepting his kiss, humiliated because I had shown him my weak side once again and mad at him for tricking me like that. But most of all, I was simply confused and still too flustered to understand the whole situation.

"You're a jerk", I hissed at him after a while, finally understanding what he was trying to say: "Playing around with other people's feelings just to make your point clear, that's just disgusting. You're so damn selfish nowadays, I don't even recognize you anymore."

Mingyu just laughed and shrugged his shoulders: "But you know what? I bet if I kissed you a second time, you'd happily kiss back once again. Just accept it already, you're in love with me, Wonwoo-hyung."

I got what he was saying, but still, I couldn't connect his words to his actions. No matter how much I thought about it, Mingyu acting like this didn't make sense. Nothing did.

"Why do you care so much about that? Why do you do all this stuff just to get a ing confession out of me?", I screamed, fed up with the way he was behaving. I was mad because of the humiliation I was facing and at the same time, I simply wanted to cry my eyes out since my heart hurt way too much.

"Because I want you to acknowledge that you're the one who ed up our friendship. Your feelings for me ruined everything. Because of your selfish kiss I had to let go of the best friend I ever had. It's you who turned everything into a mess, not me!", Mingyu ranted, his eyes showing nothing but anger. 

And just like that, I had enough.

"You're the one who wouldn't let me explain, so how can only I be at fault?", I hissed back, not allowing him to blame me for our friendship falling apart: "We could've gotten over this issue, but you always ran away and ignored me, so of course I couldn't explain myself!"

"Because you already ruined everything with the kiss! Because I instantly knew that you're in love with me and had no reason to listen to your lame excuses anymore!", Mingyu responded. He was furious and I knew he wouldn't even listen to me anymore.

Therefore, I stayed silent, only staring at Mingyu, disbelief clouding my eyes.

"Just get yourself together and realize that you're the one with a problem", Mingyu fumed: "You're the one who's in love, so of course, you're the one who broke our friendship!"

"I did not break our friendship!", I yelled back, trying to get Mingyu back to normal. Whatever he was talking about was bull, nothing more than that, but somehow, he wouldn't realize that his thesis didn't make sense.

"Of course you did. Everything is your fault, don't you get that? The kiss, your feelings, everything!", he screamed back, totally misguided by his own thoughts: "Everything's ruined because of you, !"

And it only took that one word for me to finally raise my hand and slap Mingyu across the face, as hard as I could. I'd felt all kind of emotions during our talk, but suddenly, I was facing a new one.

Hatred.

I wasn't only furious and upset because of him anymore, but all of the sudden, I honestly hated him with every fiber of my body. Maybe because everything was too much, maybe because I couldn't handle his arrogance anymore, maybe because I thought he could be right.

"You're sick, Kim Mingyu", I only muttered and turned around, not daring to be in the same room as him anymore.

"Well, at least I'm not gay", he sang back, laughing a bit. I didn't answer, walked towards the door and opened it, wanting nothing but to escape his ugly and harsh words.

"Oh right, don't forget about the fanservice thing, Wonwoo-hyung. Remember, in front of the cameras we're best buddies!", he called after me, as I walked out of the door and left him behind. 

And the sick feeling to my stomach instantly worsened.

Lucky enough, I reached the nearest toilet before throwing up and therefore didn't have to clean up the mess I would've caused if I hadn't. Honestly, I wasn't even shocked when puking my stomach's contents out. I wouldn't say I had expected it, but when it happened, I just accepted it as if it was the most usual thing in the world.

Since I was at our company and knew that the other members were back at home, I felt relieved. Knowing that nobody had witnessed my short crisis, I rinsed my mouth and washed my face without worries, leaving the bathroom as if nothing had happened. 

I was well aware that I couldn't show a single sign of unhappiness in front of the others since that would lead to them wanting to have a conversation with me and I sure as hell didn't want to talk about whatever had happened between Mingyu and me. 

Seriously, I was way too confused to even talk about it. Mingyu insisting that I was in love with him freaked me out, not to mention the way I'd felt when being kissed by him. I couldn't even trust myself anymore, my actions having betrayed my words, my thoughts not adding up with my feelings anymore, and so I told myself that I couldn't tell anyone what was happening to me, ever.

Inconveniently, right when leaving the bathroom, I bumped into Junhui, who just stood there, a worried expression on his face, asking me if I was okay.

Of course I wasn't. Everyone would've noticed so when looking at my face, but still, I didn't feel like explaining myself and so I just lied, as always.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?", I laughed awkwardly, putting on my fake smile. Junhui just sighed and shook his head, before taking my wrist and dragging me to our practice room, probably not believing my lies anymore.

"Wonwoo, we have to talk", he stated, after closing the door and making sure that nobody was there to witness our conversation. I only shrugged my shoulders and pretended that I didn't know what he was trying to say. I seriously didn't want to talk to him, at all.

"Ever since our debut you've changed. You're only happy when there are cameras or fans around and even then, you only smile if you have to. The whole fight with Mingyu is weird too. You guys used to be so close and now it's like you don't even know each other anymore", Junhui started to tell me his concerns: "Just what exactly happened between you two for you guys to change like this?"

There were three options for me to choose from. Either tell him the truth, lie to him or to shut up completely. But since I was too messed up to think everything through, I didn't say anything and just shrugged my shoulders, once again indicating that I didn't want to talk about Mingyu.

"No, Wonwoo, stop with the whole shrugging thing already. You've been avoiding this conversation for such a long time and now look at you! Stop telling me that you're okay because you honestly look like . Have you seen how pale you've gotten these days? You look so ing unhealthy!", he yelled at me, probably as fed up with the situation as me. I sighed.

"Junhui, I know you're worried about me but I'm serious right now, this is not something you can help me with. This problem between Mingyu and me can't be helped, alright?", I tried to make him understand but Junhui just shook his head, not letting go of the issue.

"I honestly don't understand why you won't talk about it. I'm not trying to solve your fight with Mingyu, okay? I know I'm not in a position to do that. Wonwoo, I want you to tell me what's going on because I see how much you're struggling with everything", he explained.

And I don't know why, but suddenly, I felt the urge to laugh. This whole thing was way too ed up to be true and Junhui begging me to tell him about it was even funnier. So, I started laughing, unable to believe what was going on. Uncontrollably, I just laughed, clutching to my stomach, ignoring Junhui's perplexed expression. The whole situation felt unreal to me and I didn't want to accept any of it, which is why I laughed hysterically. 

But before I knew it, tears started to fall down my cheeks and my laughs slowly turned into sobs. My whole body started to shake as I cried my heart out, my sobs echoing through the room. I didn't even know what was going on anymore and only recognized Junhui's arms around my shoulders, his hands rubbing my back. 

I cried into his chest, happy to have someone with me, someone who comforted me, even if he didn't know what was going on. And I honestly have no idea how long I cried like that, but judging by the huge wet spot on Junhui's shirt, it must've been a long time. 

Instead of demanding answers, Junhui silently patted my shoulder as I was regaining myself, showing me that he was there for me. Of course, I was thankful for that and wanted to tell him what was going on since he deserved to know after having seen my ugly breakdown, but I knew I couldn't. 

I didn't want to lose another friend.

Which is why instead of opening my mouth and telling Junhui about it, I only repeated in my head that indeed, I was terribly in love with Kim Mingyu and the worst part of it, he knew it all to well.
______

A/N: Jeon Wonwoo, the king of breakdowns. (For some reason, missing Wonwoo in real life gives me the urge to hurt him in this story, does this make sense?)

Literally everyone commented that they hate Mingyu in this and I'm laughing so hard because he's way uglier in this chapter than in the last 

Thank you so much for reading and liking this story! And thanks for the many subscribers and comments!