I didn't contact Seokjin.

Not because I was having a good time and enjoyed being around Mingyu, but because I didn't have the guts to do so. After all, he was almost four years older than me and therefore I didn't have the courage to text him about my small problems which didn't involve him anyways. Maybe I was still too uneasy about him knowing everything, too.

Since we didn't have a schedule the next day, everyone was either practicing or simply hanging out at our dorm, basically doing nothing. Soonyoung and Seungkwan had decided to do another Andromeda for our fans, but luckily, I wasn't asked to appear as a guest and so I enjoyed the day in my bed, reading some books.

Until evening came around, that was.

I went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, just to come back to my room to find Mingyu lying on my bed, his laptop placed next to him. Confused, I closed our bedroom's door behind me, making his head turn towards me. There was nobody else in the room, just the two of us, and I instantly felt uncomfortable, knowing that I wouldn't like whatever Mingyu had planned.

"What are you doing in my bed?", I asked, confused. I didn't even dare to walk closer, scared of what would come next. But Mingyu just smiled and put the laptop on his lap, indicating for me to sit down next to him. 

I didn't do it.

Still standing next to the door, I contemplated whether I should join Junhui and Minghao in the living room, but realized that they were probably having their little 'Chinese time', as I called it. Basically, sometimes when we didn't have anything to do, the two of them would hang out and watch some movies in their own language together, probably enjoying not having to concentrate to understand what was going on. And since I didn't want to ruin their thing, I let go of the thought of joining them. 

"Maybe I should go and practice with Chan", I thought to myself, but realized that he was probably about to come back home since it was almost ten. I didn't know what the others were doing and so I concluded that I should go and search for them. Everything was better than being around Mingyu.

"Get your damn over here", he cut my plans off, though, sending me an annoyed look. And I don't know why, but I did as he said, pathetically running towards his side and sitting down next to him as if my life depended on it. I hated myself for being this weak, but him commanding me to be with him was something that my heart couldn't fight against. In fact, I sort of liked it, even if I tried to tell myself I didn't. 

"Let's watch a movie together", Mingyu demanded, not even asking if I felt like doing so. I gave him a puzzled look, trying to understand what was going on in his mind. But honestly, I had no idea. Mingyu had turned into a person that I couldn't read at all and therefore it was quite impossible for me to understand his actions. So, since I didn't have another choice, I asked him why he would want to do that, making him grin at me.

"Don't even start to think that I want to be your friend again, alright? Earlier, I heard Seokmin and Jeonghan talk about how we don't seem to be as close as we used to be and so I thought this would be a good way to prove them wrong", Mingyu explained, probably knowing how much I disliked that idea. Honestly, I wasn't even surprised anymore. At that point, Mingyu seemed to be willing to do anything as long as it fooled everyone else into thinking we were close. 

Of course, I could've told him that I didn't want to do it. That I wasn't comfortable with that idea and my feelings would probably go overboard when being so close to him. 

But I didn't.

Instead of opposing, I only nodded, letting out a short "Alright", before lying down next to Mingyu, using his arm as a pillow. It was a familiar feeling, and I liked it. I probably liked it a little too much and Mingyu probably knew so too, but he didn't say anything as he chose some comedy movie and started it, not even asking me if I wanted to watch it. 

He probably knew that I didn't care.

To be honest, the movie was fun. Normally, I didn't like comedy that much and therefore it was strange how much I enjoyed watching that one, joining Mingyu's loud laughter once in a while. Suddenly, everything seemed so easy. Being by Mingyu's side felt natural and laughing along with him reminded me of all the happy times I'd spent with him. It was nice to be around him again and enjoy something, instead of fighting and being yelled at all the time. 

I should've known that it was just an act, should've realized that we were just pretending to be close when other members opened the door and saw us together, smiling at us and telling us to enjoy the movie. 

But I guess my heart didn't want to accept it and so it deluded me into thinking that everything was alright. That Mingyu and I would work things out and get back to the way we'd always been. It wasn't even a wish, but just my mind tricking me. 

Being so close to Mingyu and feeling his warmth surround me, it was everything I'd wished for all this time. Not only did it put a smile on my lips and gave me the feeling to have him back, but it also soothed my broken heart. 

And I loved everything about it. 

At some point, Mingyu fell asleep and instead of watching the movie by myself, I stopped it, took the laptop away from Mingyu's lap and shut it, placing it under my bed afterwards. I didn't want to wake Mingyu up and so I was extremely careful and quiet when putting the blanket over our bodies and making myself comfortable in Mingyu's embrace. 

Before closing my eyes, I simply watched his sleeping face, smiling at the way his mouth was slightly opened and how his hair was a complete mess.  He looked vulnerable in his sleeping state and being aware of the fact that he voluntarily allowed me to see him like that made a blush creep on my cheeks.

I was completely deluded by the closeness we shared and didn't even think clearly when leaning down and slightly kissing his lips, wishing him a good night. And just like that, I fell asleep, with my heart at ease and my lips curled into a happy smile, thinking that everything was alright again. That from that point on, Mingyu wouldn't hurt me anymore, because what we shared was something special and nothing in the world was able to break the bond between us.

It's what I thought for exactly one night, but never again.

When I woke up the next day, the spot besides me was empty and cold, indicating that Mingyu must've left me a while ago. I should've realized back then that he was gone for a reason, but instead of doing so, I simply thought he must've left to take a shower or something like that. 

The thought that he didn't want to be besides me didn't even cross my mind.

And so I got up and walked towards the kitchen with no worries, wanting nothing more than to drink a glass of water. Since the other members were probably still sleeping, I enjoyed the silence I was surrounded with when walking through our dorm. It was nice.

Entering the kitchen, I saw Mingyu sitting at the table, a glass of water in front of him and his phone in between his hands. At first, he didn't notice me and so I just let him be, realizing that whatever he was doing on his phone looked quite important since he was so into it. Finding a bottle of water, I filled it's content into the next glass I could find, taking a seat next to Mingyu afterwards.

"What are you doing?", I asked in a cheerful voice, noticing that he didn't even spare me a single glance. I found it weird, but thought nothing of it. Honestly, I was too happy to even realize what was going on.

"Ignoring you", he only answered, not even looking up from his phone while doing so. It was a cold rejection, but instead of taking it by heart, I thought he was joking and laughed at his words: "Okay, but seriously, what's so interesting that you can't even look at me?"

I was way too stupid, really.

"Not your business", Mingyu sighed, rolling his eyes. Since I didn't get the message that he clearly didn't want to talk to me, I just laughed again and stared at him with a full smile. He looked cute with his morning hair and those concentrated eyes, making me fight the urge to pinch his cheeks. 

"Can you stop staring at me already?", he suddenly broke the silence and for the first time that morning, he looked away from his phone and his gaze fell on me instead: "What are you even doing here, talking to me and all that . The others aren't even awake yet."

"What?", I only let out, dumbfounded. Since his words were harsher than before and his face showed how annoyed he was, I knew something wasn't right, but for some reason, I didn't realize that the person who behaved incorrectly was me and not him.

"We don't have to pretend right now, the others are still sleeping", Mingyu explained in an instant, making the smile on my lips fall, turning it into a frown: "Pretend what?"

Mingyu groaned.

"That we're close? God, you can't be that stupid, Wonwoo-hyung", he hissed, slowly getting impatient. He probably noticed how confused I was, because suddenly, he started laughing loudly: "Wait, don't tell me you thought we're friends again just because we watched that movie yesterday. I told you that we're doing it to fool the others."

It was as if someone had slapped my face, bringing me back to realization. Just that it hurt a hundred times more, making me feel my heart break into it's last tiny little pieces. 

Compared to all the other times when Mingyu had laughed at me, this one was definitely the worst. Because this time, it was my own fault for being laughed at. I'd been the one fooling myself into thinking we were going to be alright. I'd been the one who forgot about the fact that we were close to each other just because of an act. 

I knew it was my own stupidity which Mingyu was laughing at and honestly, I couldn't even blame him for that.

"You're right. We're pretending, right", I muttered, too upset to fully grasp what was going on, but lowering my head in embarrassment anyways. 

I knew that I was about to cry and was well aware of the fact that Mingyu was right next to me, but my body wouldn't move and so I just let the tears fall, not even caring about Mingyu seeing them. I didn't sob or scream, but just sat there, silently crying while Mingyu calmed down from his laughter. 

"You're so weak, it's actually kind of funny", he commented after having noticed my tears and I knew he was probably smiling like an idiot, seeing me in such a pathetic state, but for some reason, I just didn't even care anymore. I sniffed, tried to get rid of the tears with the end of my sweater, but realized that it didn't even make sense to wipe them off my cheeks, because new ones kept falling down. 

And so I just let them be.

"To think that I used to be super close to you is unbelievable. You're proving more and more that you're not good enough to be called Kim Mingyu's best friend", he chuckled, enjoying my unhappiness to the fullest: "Honestly, you should see yourself right now. You look so pitiful."

I laughed at that. Of course, I looked pitiful. I knew so myself, without Mingyu having to tell me about it. 

"Anyways, I'm going to take a shower", he announced, gulping down the last few sips of his water and standing up afterwards: "You should probably stop crying and wipe those tears off, the other members are probably going to wake up soon."

Just like that, Mingyu walked out of the room and left the mess I was behind, because after all, he didn't have to comfort and be there for me. He didn't pretend to be worried about me since there was no one whom he needed to put up an act for.

Because in the end, our friendship was nothing but a lie and when nobody else was around, it didn't exist at all.
______

A/N: Yes, I felt like wrecking Wonwoo even more. Feel free to hate me, I'm okay with that :) 

Again and again and again I want to thank you guys for reading, subscribing and commenting this story! I thought it would flop but apparently it's not that bad haha (I'm still too perplexed because of whatever I've just written, I'm sorry)