Avoiding Mingyu was way harder than I'd thought. He totally didn't get the message that I didn't want to be around him, no matter how many times I walked away from him, didn't answer him when he talked to me or sat down next to other trainees instead of being by his side.

Somehow, he still always appeared next to me, tried to put his arm around me and talked to me. And it was so damn hard to ignore him when he was just being his usual self. I mean, I knew that he hadn't done anything wrong. I knew there was nothing for me to be mad about. But still, I was convinced I had to stay away from him. Not only for my, but also for his sake. I didn't want weird rumors about us secretly being in love with each other spreading around the internet.

Mingyu, for some reason, saw this whole issue as a positive thing. I had no idea how he could think that people wanting us to be gay would be something good, but Mingyu often didn't clearly think things through so I just knew that I had to be the responsible person in this situation. 

"Seriously though, we should always stay as close as we are now. After debuting it'll probably make us so popular", Mingyu told me a few days after Jeonghan had enlightened us about the 'Meanie' thing. I didn't answer him because I wanted to make clear that I didn't feel like talking, but inwardly I seriously wanted to scream at him and tell him how stupid he was being. Us being close to each other was dangerous and not helpful, as Mingyu thought, at all. 

"I'm so happy that the fans like us together. It's as if they completely understand how close we are. Well, maybe not to the point of us loving each other, but they got the gist of our friendship pretty well, didn't they?", Mingyu kept talking, wearing that bright smile he always wore when feeling complete happiness. 

Annoyed, I sighed and closed my eyes. Mingyu was way too naive in this situation and it seriously made my blood boil when seeing him smile so happily. Why couldn't he understand that us being 'shipped' had to be stopped instead of supported? Why didn't he share my feelings when facing the exact same issue as me? 

Why didn't he get it?

"Wonwoo, let's stay next to each other forever, okay? It'll make us everyone's favorites", Mingyu then cheered, clapping his hands together. Honestly, I felt like slapping him if it meant for him to wake up and face the situation seriously, but I just didn't have the nerve to do that. I simply stared at Mingyu for a while, before silently getting up and leaving the room, hoping he'd finally understand that I wanted some space.

Since I'd gotten kind of close with Junhui over the last few years, I decided to stay with him to be able to successfully avoid Mingyu. I'd come to the conclusion that walking away from him wasn't enough because apparently, he did not understand what I wanted to indicate with that. And so my new strategy was to stick with Junhui to make Mingyu realize that in fact I did not want us to be as close as we had been all this time. 

Junhui, other than Mingyu, immediately knew that something was off. Well, maybe it wasn't only Junhui but the other trainees as well, but he was the only one who actually tried to talk to me about it. 

"Wonwoo, don't get me wrong or anything, but did something happen between you and Mingyu? You're normally always by each other's side, but lately, it's been weird. It's like you're ignoring him", Junhui told me his concerns. I'd known that this kind of talk would come at some point, but being confronted with the issue so suddenly caught me off-guard. I didn't know how to answer because I didn't want Junhui to think badly of me and so I just stayed silent.

"Seriously, what's going on? Did the two of you fight?", he pressed further, but I just shook my head, indicating that I didn't want to talk about it. Junhui sighed and stood up, leaving without saying another word. I didn't even mind him leaving since I actually wanted to be alone for a while. I had to clear my thoughts and think everything through once again, because seriously, something was going wrong with my plan. 

A few days after Junhui had tried to talk to me about the problem, Mingyu must've gotten the message that I was trying to ignore him too, because suddenly, he distanced himself as well, giving me the space I'd longed for.

To be honest, I wasn't happy at all. Slowly, I started to miss Mingyu's voice and the way he would try to cheer me up. I missed how he used to sit down next to me, put his head in my shoulder and just randomly started telling me stories I didn't even want to hear. Overall, I simply missed him.

But I knew it was for the best. Putting some distance between us was the only logical way for me to stop the stupid thoughts of those thirteen year old girls and if it meant suffering and missing Mingyu, then I had to accept that. In the end, I only meant well for the two of us. So since our relationship was meant to be one of two trainees signed by the same company and nothing more than that, I tried to act exactly like that.

Well, maybe I kind of exaggerated since I didn't talk to Mingyu at all and always found a way to keep my distance from him, but I planned to be normal around him as soon as our relationship wasn't in such a critical phase anymore. 

And it worked well for quite some time. I mostly hung out with Soonyoung or Junhui, meanwhile Mingyu spent the days with other trainees as well. I managed to put my feelings aside and simply concentrated on being a trainee. The fact that I missed Mingyu and didn't want to be separated from him any longer was always there, but I was good at just ignoring everything.

That was until Mingyu actually tried to talk to me about the whole issue. 

I was sitting on my bed, lazily reading some book, but not really concentrating on it's content. Honestly, I didn't even know what the book was about. Since I was all by myself, the other guys either training or eating lunch somewhere, I enjoyed the silence around me and just let myself relax, when suddenly the door to our bedroom opened and Mingyu walked in.

At first, he didn't seem to notice me and looked through the room as if he was searching for something. As soon as he spotted me, his eyes widened and I knew he was instantly feeling kind of awkward. Funny, how our roles had been switched.

"Hey, have you seen my phone?", he asked, more like whispered, while looking around once again. I just shook my head and diverted my eyes back to the book that I was holding in hands, pretending to be deeply engulfed in it. Mingyu let out a short "Ah" and I knew he was about to leave again, but apparently, he decided differently.

"By the way, can we talk?", he asked, scratching the back of his neck. It had probably taken a whole lot of courage for him to ask that question and for a short moment, I was amazed that he actually managed to do so. But then I reminded myself that we shouldn't go back to the way we used to be and so I just held up my book, not even looking at Mingyu's direction anymore: "I'm busy right now."

The room was silent after that. Mingyu seemed to progress my words, probably realizing that I'd heartlessly rejected his offer to finally clear the issue between us. A few seconds later, I heard the door slam shut and when I looked up, the room was empty once again. 

"", I mumbled to myself, knowing that I'd gone too far. Even though Mingyu was almost always cheerful and happy, he actually had a very sensitive heart. And there was probably nothing in the world that he hated as much as being rejected or being given the cold shoulder. 

Suddenly, I felt so damn sorry. Sorry for putting Mingyu through this kind of pain, sorry for not talking things through with him, sorry for not explaining why I was acting the way I did.

And I knew I had to apologize. 

But I guess I just didn't know how to do that. Days passed and our relationship worsened even more. Mingyu did not even look at me anymore and I was convinced I'd completely cut him out of my life, just like that. 

Things became weird. Even thinking about having to face Mingyu made me uncomfortable and to be honest, nothing had ever made me feel so uneasy when Mingyu was related to it. But this was different. I'd been such a stupid and ugly friend, how could I possibly stand in front of him, talk to him or even ask for forgiveness? 

And while I was having an inner crisis, thinking about ways to make Mingyu forgive me, ways to get us back to the way we used to be, he was already one step ahead of me.

It was around March 2015. I was on my way back from the practice room to our dorm when suddenly, he appeared out of nowhere, blocking my path. His face was showing a seriousness I'd never seen before and I instantly knew I was done for.

"Wonwoo", Mingyu said, his voice barely as loud as a whisper and still it ringed in my ears, louder than the school bell. He didn't say anything besides my name and simply stood in front of me, waiting for me to speak up.

I didn't. I only stared at him for a few seconds, before stepping forward and putting my head against his chest. Mingyu loosely put his arms around my shoulders and we just stayed like that for I don't know how long. 

"I'm sorry", I mumbled into his chest, tears spilling out of my eyes: "Mingyu, I'm so sorry. So so sorry."

I didn't receive an answer. At this point, I seriously needed one though because I actually didn't know if Mingyu would ever forgive me or not. With every inch of my body, I just hoped for him to tell me that it was okay or that he wasn't mad at me.

But he didn't say anything.

The walk back to the dorm was quiet. Neither of us felt like talking but I didn't have a problem with that because honestly, I was so very happy with the fact that I was by Mingyu's side once again. I'd missed standing next to him, walking with him and just knowing his presence wasn't far.

I wasn't even sure what was going on. Did he forgive me? Did he detest me? Why wasn't he saying anything? Why wasn't he screaming at me, letting out the frustrations he'd surely build up these past few months?

That's right, months. We'd been separated for about four of them and if that time had taught me one lesson then it was probably the fact that I wasn't able to be happy without Mingyu. And I accepted that fact.

Suddenly, all my worries about the fans misinterpreting our relationship didn't matter anymore. I was content with having Mingyu next to me and I noted to myself that I would never be as stupid and selfish again as I'd been the last few months. Leaving Mingyu's side had been a mistake, I was more than sure of it when we entered the dorm, went into our room, sat down on the bed and simply enjoyed each other's presence.

"You're so stupid", Mingyu then broke the silence and tried to smile, but failed miserably, starting to tear up instead: "You know, it actually took me some time to realize why you were acting like this. Before that I just knew you were ignoring me and to be honest, it . It even more than Pledis not giving us our debut. I was so mad at you at some point, but you wouldn't talk to me so I couldn't even let it out. Wonwoo, that was so ing wrong of you."

"I'm sorry", I only answered, not daring to look at him. I felt ashamed for avoiding him and putting him through all this pain just because of my stupid fear of being misinterpreted: "To be honest, at first the whole 'shipping' thing seriously freaked me out but you just didn't understand. So I thought it would be best to-" 

"To pretend I don't exist?", he cut me off, letting out a few sobs: "You should've talked to me about your worries! Didn't you realize how confused and depressed I was all this time? I seriously thought about leaving! One more week and I swear I would've packed me suitcase!"

Mingyu cried for a long time that day and let out everything he'd build up the past four months. Instead of giving him further explanations, I simply listened and took his harsh and depressing words because I knew I deserved them. 

I was aware that everything had been my fault.

After having cried for what felt like hours, Mingyu finally relaxed. Both of us were sitting on my bed, his head lying on my shoulder, my head on top of his. 

"Don't ever do something like that to me again or I'll seriously kill you", Mingyu mumbled tiredly: "I swear, that was the worst time of my life. I'm only forgiving you because I know that I'd rather have you back than be bitter without you." 

And I nodded, completely understanding him. Inwardly, I thanked god for bringing my best friend back to the place where he belonged, back to my side, and let my eyes fall, welcoming a deep sleep. 
______

A/N: Just to clear things up (once again?), this is still just the 'background' story. Mingyu, the way he is right now, won't exist in the future anymore. That's why I keep telling you to enjoy him being sweet and close to Wonwoo right now since later on that won't happen again. Honestly, it was already heartbreaking enough to write this chapter and believe me, this is nothing. Wonwoo will suffer so much more than Mingyu did here. So so so much more. 

I know the bromance in this chapter is sort of way too much and probably no trainees are connected as deeply as the two of them are, but this is fiction, so let's just go with it, alright?

Again, thank you all for reading this story!