Mingyu laughed at my words. He wasn't shocked or confused, but simply amused about the fact that Seokjin was gay, too. I'm serious, not even for a single second did he give me the stunned expression I'd so desperately waited for, but he just bursted out into laughter, completely enjoying my words.

And quite frankly, that made me upset.

Just when I'd thought I could finally shock him and have the upper hand, he only laughed at me and the whole situation. Immediately, I felt the strength I'd gained leave my soul, making me pathetic once again.

"Now everything makes sense", Mingyu breathed out after having regained himself from his laughter, still wearing that amused smile which indicated how funny he found the whole situation: "You didn't even find a new friend but simply got yourself an admirer. He's probably telling you to stop loving me and love him instead, isn't he?"

What? 

"Oh wait, maybe he hasn't even confessed yet but is silently crushing on you. He probably pretends to help you out when he actually just wants you to be his", Mingyu let out in laughs, completely not taking me serious anymore: "Or maybe he doesn't even like you but just wants a good . I heard you faggots like-"

Mingyu's words were interrupted by my hand punching him as hard as I could. Tumbling to the side and putting his own hand on his cheek, he smirked, still amused.

"You're disgusting", I hissed at him, furious about the way he talked about Seokjin. Promising myself that I wouldn't allow anyone to speak badly about the good and kind person called Kim Seokjin, I hit Mingyu again, feeling myself tear up a third time that day: "Don't you even dare say such things about Seokjin-hyung. He's the nicest person ever and just because you don't know what real kindness is, you can't just go around and talk about my Hyung like that!"

"Your Hyung?", Mingyu mocked my words in amusement: "You should hear yourself right now. Honestly, you sound so stupid, it's actually pretty funny to listen to you. Don't tell me you think that you can get over me because of your Seokjin-hyung, because seriously, the way I see it right now, you're just trying to delude yourself."

I didn't even understand what he was saying, but I knew that he was convinced of my feelings for him, convinced that they wouldn't go away.

"Go ahead and try to fall in love with him. But let me just tell you, I know you won't be able to get over me anyways", Mingyu chuckled, patting my head lightly, wearing that ugly smirk on his lips which somehow still made my heart beat faster. 

"What makes you so sure about that, huh? Do you think you're a god or something?", I questioned, slapping his hand away in anger: "Wouldn't it be better for you if I fell in love with someone else? Wouldn't it be so much easier then?"

Mingyu laughed even louder at that.

"No, you don't get it, Wonwoo-hyung. I'd much rather have you love me until the rest of your life instead of seeing you meet another guy, risking a scandal to arise. As long as you're in love with me, we're safe. So just keep that up and don't go astray, alright?", he purred at me, completely enjoying my reaction to his words: "Besides, it's kind of amusing to see you struggling with your feelings for me. Didn't I tell you this morning already? It's funny to see how weak you are, really."

I was taken aback at what he said. I'd honestly thought that falling out of love was the best way to make Mingyu stop, but now that he told me otherwise, I didn't even know what to do anymore. Seokjin's plan didn't even make sense anymore, because apparently, if I fell in love with Seokjin, Mingyu would hate me even more for risking Seventeen's career. 

And that was quite the opposite of what I wanted to achieve.

"What? Are you sad now because you've realized that falling in love with Seokjin is quite impossible when you're already in love with me?", Mingyu joked around and for some reason, made my cheeks go red with those words. I didn't even know if it was because of my embarrassment or anger, to be honest, but it didn't really matter anyways.

"No, I'm upset because clearly you've turned into a disgusting jerk these past few months and can't even realize how ugly your actions and words have become", I hissed at him, making him laugh even louder.

"Trust me, I'm aware of who I am and what I'm doing", he answered, still smirking disgustingly: "You, on the other hand, seem to have forgotten about whoever you are and well, your actions don't really make sense, either."

His words hurt. Not because they were harsh, but because Mingyu was speaking the truth. I had no ing idea what I was doing anymore and the fact that he saw through me so easily was something I didn't want to accept. I hated it, hated how I had no answers to my problems and whenever I thought I could win against Mingyu, he proved me wrong.

"Just try to fall out of love, Wonwoo-hyung. I bet you'll still come crawling back to me in five years, wanting nothing more than for me to love you back", Mingyu insisted: "And let me tell you right now, that will never happen. I will never love you back, Wonwoo-hyung."

And as he left the room after saying those words, I felt myself lose all the hope that had been left, realizing that Mingyu knew me way too well to be fooled by Seokjin's plan. Realizing that I wouldn't win against Mingyu if I couldn't fall out of love for real.
______

I tried to do so, though. 

With ever fiber in my body I tried to fall out of love, to remind myself of the jerk Mingyu had become. I even tried to start liking Seokjin, telling myself that he was the kindest person ever, that he would take good care of me and heal all my wounds.

But months changed, autumn came, and my heart still fluttered when seeing Mingyu smile. 

Maybe I couldn't let go of my feelings for him because we went through with his plan and constantly stuck together, either deluding the fans or the other members into thinking we were close to each other. Maybe I couldn't start liking Seokjin because during all our meetings, I was more and more reminded of the happy and cheerful past I shared with Mingyu.

But the reasons don't even matter. 

Fact is, I was still head over heels for Mingyu when our second EP 'Boys Be' came out in September and promotions for 'Mansae' began, making the whole fanservice thing start once again, as well.

To be honest, I started to love being in front of cameras or with the members since it always gave me an excuse to be next to Mingyu. As long as others were watching, he treated me right and so I welcomed the fanservice with open arms, suddenly loving it for being the reason for the only happy moments of my life.

Seriously, Mingyu and I did it all.

I mean, it's not like we started to cling to each other as soon as some cameras appeared since Mingyu made sure to tell me that wasn't natural at all, but slowly, we became what you might call 'inseparable' again. Especially in front of the other members we did our best and made sure to delude them completely, sticking to each other like glue.

Only this time, our friendship was based on lies and the affection we showed was nothing but an act to fool others. There weren't any feelings behind our touches, besides mine of course, and Mingyu always made sure to tell me that he was close to me for the fans and nothing else. 

It was just fanservice, always, but still I became a victim to the delusion Mingyu and I had build up, fooling myself on purpose. 

Now you might be wondering what happened to Seokjin's plan and why we didn't go through with it, but believe me when I say that we tried it. We would meet up every week to have our 'dates' and I would go back home to tell our members what a great Hyung Seokjin was and how much I liked being with him. I would tell Mingyu about my happiness around Seokjin and indicated more than often that I was falling for him, but no matter how much I tried to show Mingyu that I wasn't in love with him anymore, he wouldn't believe my words, saying I was just fooling myself.

Mingyu was so sure of my feelings for him that the plan failed miserably and so I told Seokjin that I didn't want to go through with it anymore, that it didn't even make sense since Mingyu knew me too well for it to work out.

It was the first time that Seokjin got mad at me, saying I wasn't trying enough. Arguing that we should just do better, just try to look like two guys who are completely in love, he wanted to convince me of the plan once again, but I objected, telling him that it would never work out. 

And so we stopped meeting up to fool Mingyu into thinking we were in love, but simply hung out as friends, even if Seokjin was against that.

It was about a week after our promotions for 'Mansae' had started when Seokjin suddenly appeared in front of our dorm, telling the other members that he came to talk to me, completely surprising everyone. 

At first, I was quite stunned when I saw him entering our living room, but as he sat down next to me and told me that he'd missed me and only wanted to see me for a bit since he knew just how busy we were, I realized that something wasn't right.

Seokjin had never come to our home, after all. And he had never met Mingyu either, which is why my heart starting beating faster when Mingyu sat down on the other side of me, put his arm around my shoulder and looked at Seokjin with a fake smile on his lips: "So you're the Hyung that keeps stealing my best friend's time, huh? I'm Kim Mingyu, by the way."

Seokjin only looked at him, clearly not liking how close he was to me, but put on a smile anyways, introducing himself as well. It was weird to have both of them next to me and I honestly felt way too uncomfortable in that moment, but Seokjin and Mingyu were too busy staring each other down to even notice so.

"Why does this look like two guys are fighting over Wonwoo?", Jeonghan suddenly laughed at us and as soon as I noticed that the other members were watching too, I felt even worse, wanting nothing more than to disappear already. 

I knew that Mingyu simply wanted to aggravate Seokjin, but actually had no idea what Seokjin wanted to achieve by visiting me at home and staring Mingyu down. 

"By the way, Seokjin-hyung, the spot of Wonwoo's best friend is already taken", Soonyoung laughed awkwardly, making the other members nod, probably feeling similar. 

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not trying to steal that spot. I already have another one which I'm more than satisfied with", Seokjin answered with a smile, obviously directing those words at Mingyu who only laughed at them and shrugged his shoulders: "Sorry, but I think I've taken that spot, too, Seokjin-hyung."

I probably stopped breathing as soon as Mingyu had given that answer. Not knowing what the hell was going on, I only laughed awkwardly and grabbed Seokjin's wrist, telling him that we should go to my room to have a talk.

"Wait, what's going on? What are you guys even talking about?", Seungkwan asked, confused, but I just told him that Mingyu and Seokjin had been joking around as I stood up and dragged Seokjin towards my room, closing the door behind us in a hurry. 

"What the was that, Seokjin-hyung?", I whispered, not wanting the members to hear our conversation. Seokjin just shrugged his shoulders at my words, smiling: "I thought I should just come here and tell Mingyu myself that the two of us are in love. If I'm here, he'll probably believe us."

"No, he won't!", I instantly argued, not liking Seokjin's idea at all: "Maybe he'll think that you're in love with me since he doesn't know you enough, but he'll never believe that I'm in love with you! Besides, I'm honestly mad about you just coming here without telling me beforehand!"

"But I wanted to see you", Seokjin said, pouting: "You've been so busy lately and always told me you can't hang out. I didn't have another choice but to visit you, Wonwoo."

"It's not like you're going to die without me by your side, Seokjin-hyung", I insisted, rolling my eyes. Of course, I liked to have Seokjin as a friend since he was one of the nicest people I knew, but sometimes he was simply too clingy and annoying to be around.

"But I don't think my heart can take being without you", he suddenly answered, completely throwing me off-guard. Taking a step back, I only looked at him, not liking the words he'd said at all. 

And to be honest, I was scared of what was going to come next.

"It's making me crazy how you're always around Mingyu, but I can only see you once in a week or even less than that. And I don't understand how you can still love him when I'm the one who always comforts you and makes you happy", he explained, his voice suddenly rising: "At first, I thought you'd just need time to fall for me but somehow, you couldn't let go of your feelings for Mingyu at all. And then you told me you didn't want to go through with the plan anymore for no reason whatsoever. It's like you don't even want to stop liking Mingyu!"

Suddenly, Mingyu's words back then came back to my mind. He'd told me months ago that Seokjin only wanted me for himself and suddenly, I felt sick to my stomach when realizing that he'd probably been right all this time. Seokjin hadn't helped me to make me happy, but because he was going after me himself and I'd simply been too stupid to realize that. 

"You're in love with me", I whispered, realization hitting me hard: "Oh god, Seokjin-hyung, please tell me that I'm wrong and you're not in love with me, please."

"I can't do that", he muttered back almost instantly: "Because I'm pretty sure that I am in love with you. At first, I only wanted you, to be honest. You looked so vulnerable and weak and I honestly just felt the need to have you, but after a while, I don't know, I started to have feelings for you, I guess?"

I wanted to throw up.

Just hearing him say those words as if they were nothing was enough for my knees to go weak and my eyes to tear up. Leaning against the wall for stability, I only stared at Seokjin with a blank face, not wanting to believe what he'd said.

I felt betrayed.

Knowing that he hadn't helped me because out of kindness but actually only because he wanted to get into my pants was such a disgusting thought that I couldn't even say a word anymore. I was too shocked to even think clearly.

"Come on, Wonwoo. Just forget about Mingyu already and get together with me. I know that I can make you happy", Seokjin insisted, walking towards me. My eyes went wider as he came closer and I wanted to scream at him, to tell him to get away from me, but I was scared that the other members would hear me and so I only shook my head, indicating for him to stop.

Seokjin didn't listen, though.

His hands suddenly found my waist and before I knew it, his lips were on mine, kissing me without permission. I didn't kiss back and tried to push Seokjin away, but I was too weak to even do so. His hands went under my shirt, massaging my bare skin, as his lips pressed harder, his tongue my upper lip, indicating that he wanted me to open my mouth.

I didn't do it, completely disgusted by whatever was happening. 

And just like that, Seokjin stopped the kiss and simply looked at me, smiling for a reason I didn't even want to understand: "Alright, Wonwoo, there are two ways for this to go. You can accept to be my boyfriend from now on and let me take care of you, or I'll just go out there and tell all your members that you're gay."

I gulped.

Feeling the tears I'd kept back escape my eyes, I only nodded, indicating that I understood his words. I was way too scared of whatever might happen if the members found out about me and so I had no other choice but to accept being Seokjin's boyfriend.

I knew so very well.

"Okay", I mumbled, hating myself for having trusted Seokjin without thinking everything through beforehand, hating myself for being so ing weak: "I'll be your boyfriend."

"Good", Seokjin smiled, wiping my tears away with a happy expression on his face: "Now stop crying and kiss me back, alright? Everything's okay now. I'll protect you from now on."

And so I kissed back when his lips met mine for a second time, ignoring my heart which told me to push him away. 

I hated it all. How his lips didn't taste like Mingyu's, how his touches weren't soft at all and hurt my skin, how he didn't even need my permission to kiss and touch me because he simply knew he could. I hated how he pressed me against the wall instead of kissing me lightly on my bed, but most of all, I hated it when the door was suddenly opened and Mingyu out of all people walked in, not even thinking twice when pushing Seokjin off of me and punching him in the face.
______

A/N: IVE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE THIS EVER SINCE WONWOO MET SEOKJIN AND I JUST HOLY ITS EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WHY DO I KEEP HURTING MY PRECIOUS BABY???? 

By the way, you all thought I would make a jealous Mingyu happen and just noooo, neveeeer, that guy was only mad when hearing Wonwoo found a friend because he didn't want him to do that (okay friend is a bit, I don't know, I shouldn't call Seokjin a friend, should I?) 

Thanks to my lovely readers for supporting this story, you're all amazing and make me enjoy writing this story so much more than I already do!