That morning, I left the dorm without telling anybody about it. 

I knew that the other members would get worried, but I wasn't in the mood to wake someone up to tell them about my plans of going outside. Probably because I didn't want to let others see my face which clearly showed how much I'd cried. And so I just changed my clothes quickly and left everything behind, thinking that I needed a bit of fresh air to calm myself down.

Honestly, I didn't even have the slightest idea where to go which is why I just ended up in roaming streets I'd never seen before, enjoying the fresh morning breeze.

It didn't really help, though. 

No matter how far I walked and how much I tried to get Mingyu out of my mind, it wouldn't work out. The words he'd said to me before, the humiliation I'd felt when being laughed at, it was still too vivid, too horrifying to leave my mind.

I wasn't even sure if it was Mingyu's or my fault for my misery, because after all, he'd clearly told me that we were only pretending to be friends. I was the one who'd misinterpreted his actions, thinking I still meant something to him when I should've known that I didn't. During my little walk, I realized that the affection Mingyu used to have for me was gone and had probably been replaced with hatred and disgust instead. 

It's something that I should've realized way earlier. 

I laughed at how stupid I had been, thinking that the closeness we'd shared was because of our friendship when I should've known it wasn't. But somehow, my heart had deluded me all the way which is why I told myself to stop listening to my heart.

"But who should I listen to instead?", I asked myself, not knowing anything anymore. Somehow, everything that came to my mind was either useless or didn't even make sense.

At some point, I felt like my thoughts were going to make me crazy and after having denied it for quite a while, I accepted that I needed help. Almost desperately, I took out my phone and unlocked it, searching for that one person I'd never wanted to contact. 

Feeling both shame and fear, I contemplated whether I should call or text the person I needed to talk to, but decided to call him, knowing that a text wouldn't do. I had to talk to someone, to let my frustrations out, and I didn't have another choice but to do it like this.

"You're calling earlier than expected", the person picked up the phone in a cheerful tone and I knew he was smiling, because he always smiled: "What is it? Has Mingyu been giving you a hard time?"

As soon as he mentioned Mingyu, my heart started to hurt and I immediately felt like crying again. It was both upsetting and humiliating to think about him and so I tried to the cross him out of my mind.

Without succeeding, of course.

"I think I'm going crazy", I answered, feeling myself tear up once again: "I don't know what's going on anymore. Eveything is a mess, Seokjin-hyung."

"So Mingyu is giving you a hard time", he concluded: "Do you want to talk about it? Ah, I guess, you do. You wouldn't have called otherwise. Well, today my schedule is actually quite tight so I don't know if-"

"I need your help", I cut him off and I don't know why, but my voice started trembling as I said those next few words: "I- I don't think I can do this anymore. I have to leave, Seokjin-hyung, I have to leave the band. Mingyu isn't going to stop until I leave."

I knew that I was about to have a breakdown once again, but for some reason, it didn't even matter anymore. Crying my heart out had become such a familiar feeling that I almost welcomed it, not caring about the people passing by and giving me weird looks at all. I started sobbing, in the middle of some random street, and it was okay because Mingyu wasn't there to witness it and as long as he didn't see another one of my breakdowns, I was alright.

", Wonwoo, what's going on?", Seokjin practically yelled into the phone, probably hearing me cry on the other side of the line. With my shoulders shaking and my sobs getting louder by second, I wasn't even able to give him a clear answer and so I just stuttered words that didn't make sense at all.

"Wonwoo, where are you right now? You're not at home, right? Send me your location, I'll come and get you", Seokjin told me, clearly worried by whatever he was hearing. I tried to do as he said, but my hands were trembling too much and the tears in my eyes wouldn't let me see the display of my phone, making everything even harder. 

"Wonwoo, please", I heard Seokjin's alarmed voice beg and finally, after trying for almost five minutes, I managed to send him my location, hearing him let out a relieved sigh as soon as he go the message. 

"I'll be there in about ten to fifteen minutes. Don't even think about moving an inch until then", Seokjin demanded, hanging up afterwards. 

And I didn't.

Standing on the sidewalk, I just sobbed, ignoring the strangers walking by and silently judging me for being such a mess. It's funny how I wasn't even embarrassed about the way I looked, but just let the tears fall, thanking god that Mingyu didn't see me in that state. 

Seokjin took longer than fifteen minutes, but still, I was more than thankful when I saw a car approaching and stopping next to me, knowing it was him coming to my rescue. In a hurry, Seokjin got out of the car and walked towards me, immediately pulling me into a tight hug. 

It was a weird feeling, being hugged by someone who was almost a complete stranger to me, but I let him anyways, liking the warmth of his body which had a soothing feeling to it. I'd stopped sobbing a few minutes before Seokjin had arrived and so I just stood there, silently crying into his chest, feeling myself calm down.

"Are you okay?", Seokjin asked, his voice full of worry. I only nodded, not wanting to talk, and so he stayed silent too, only mumbling a small "Alright". For a few minutes, nobody said anything and I was thankful for Seokjin understanding me in that situation. Even if he didn't know me at all, he knew how to comfort me and if I hadn't been so messed up, I'd probably been confused because of that. After all, people normally didn't know how to behave around me since no matter what they did, I felt uncomfortable and awkward.

Seokjin didn't make me feel that way and it was funny how he accomplished that when only one single person had ever done so.

Mingyu.

"You can let go of me now", I whispered after having calmed down and Seokjin immediately did so, taking a small step back afterwards, giving me the space I needed. And instead of lowering my head in embarrassment as I normally would've done, I looked at Seokjin who wore a small smile on his lips.

"Let's get some coffee", he announced in an almost cheerful tone, making me smile too. And it wasn't a fake smile, like the ones I usually wore, but a real one, signifying how thankful I was: "I'd like that."
______

We drove for about ten minutes until we arrived at Seokjin's favorite café. It was a small one, decorated in a vintage style which fitted Seokjin's appearance almost too well. The tiny terrace was full of blooming flowers and when we entered it, it actually smelled like coffee which had such a soothing feeling to it that I was quite taken aback. 

"It's nice here", I commented as we sat down and Seokjin nodded, smiling happily: "I know right. Actually, a few months ago, I found this café by accident and was in complete awe when I entered it. It's my favorite place to go when I'm upset or need to clear my mind."

"So you're upset right now?", I asked as a joke, making Seokjin laugh: "Oh no, I'm quite alright. You're the one who needs this right now. I'm just here to help you out, my friend."

Of course I knew that, but hearing Seokjin confirm my thoughts actually brought a smile to my lips. He was way too nice to be true and I couldn't comprehend why he would help me out when he didn't even know me at all. Sure, it was a comforting thought to have someone take care of you, but it felt like a mystery why Seokjin would go to such lengths to comfort a stranger. 

"I've been in your position, you know. Back then, I didn't have anyone to talk to and so I probably know best how you feel. The breakdown you experienced earlier... I had a lot of them, too", he explained to me, sighing: "I would randomly start crying backstage or in our dorm, worrying the other members to death. But then again, I couldn't even tell them what was going on because I was convinced they'd kick me out of the band after knowing I'm into guys."

"So they don't know about you being gay?", I asked, instantly making him smile: "Some of them know. I told our leader about it about a year ago and two other members found out by themselves. They're okay with it, though, since they know I'm not into them at all. Actually, I'm thinking about telling everyone in our band, but then again, I feel like some wouldn't take it so well after all. Especially not the one I used to be in love with." 

"Wait, that guy never knew about it?", I questioned, puzzled: "Wow, that's so nice. Mingyu would probably still cling to me if he didn't know."

"That's what makes your situation so much more complicated than mine. The two of you used to be very close, right? How did he find out about you liking him? You didn't tell him, did you?", Seokjin pressed, making me sigh. Just thinking about that night of our debut, about that stupid kiss, made me want to punch myself. 

"I didn't even know I liked him, to be honest. I thought we were best friends and nothing more", I started to tell him about it, not even knowing how to explain everything: "But, I don't know, the day we debuted Mingyu seemed so happy and suddenly my feelings overwhelmed me, I guess." 

"And you realized that you're in love with him?", Seokjin asked, making me shake my head: "No, not really. I was confused about the way I felt and wanted to know what's going on, so I kissed him."

Seokjin's eyes widened, probably not having expected that. I nodded: "Yeah, I know, that was such a stupid move, really. Mingyu completely freaked out and wouldn't even talk to me for about a month. The other members realized that something wasn't right, too."

"So he's been avoiding you all this time? But I was there when the two of you talked in the restroom", Seokjin said. I laughed at that: "Yeah, he stopped ignoring me a few days ago. Our manager told us that we should be closer to each other to give the fans some fanservice and Mingyu really liked that idea. At first, I was confused because I knew that Mingyu disliked to be around me and when I asked him why he accepted our manager's request he kept talking about what a good chance the whole fanservice thing is for him to become popular."

"Oh no", Seokjin muttered, completely understanding the ed up situation I was in: "He wants you to pretend to be close to him. That's what you guys were talking about in the restroom. He was mad because you didn't do well."

"Yeah, not only that but he kept insisting that I was in love with him and I didn't even know my own feelings, so everything was just a mess. He even kissed me to prove that I like him, just so he could blame me for ruining our friendship. And now that I've finally realized that I'm actually in love with him, everything he does makes me go crazy", I explained. Seokjin only nodded, concentrating on every word I said. 

"Well, yesterday night he told me to watch a movie with him because for some reason, he thinks that we should pretend in front of the other members too. And so we watched that movie and I honestly have no idea why, but suddenly I felt like everything was alright between us. I mean, he was hugging me throughout the whole movie and everything just felt so real and normal, so I had no other choice but to believe that we were okay", I told Seokjin, sighing deeply: "This morning he told me that it was just an act to fool the other members. Do you know how confused I was? I felt so humiliated and the worst part of it was that I actually started to cry in front of him and he just sat there and laughed at me, telling me that I'm pathetic and all that stuff."

"And that's when you went outside and called me", Seokjin concluded, still thinking deeply about everything I'd said. I nodded and for a moment, silence surrounded us. 

", I knew your situation was complicated, but this is just insane. Mingyu is mentally abusing you, you could sue him for that!", Seokjin complained, making me laugh.

"Yeah right, that would make a nice article. I'd probably get kicked out of the band if I'd sue him", I chuckled, making Seokjin laugh too: "You're right, let's forget about that idea."

It's strange how I was able to joke around about the situation so easily. How Seokjin instantly brought a smile to my face even if the conversation was completely about my misery. 

But it was nice.

"Well, first of all, you shouldn't let Mingyu just yell at you all the time and take it all in. Just yell back and tell him how stupid he's behaving. Don't let him have the upper hand, that just gives him more reasons to hurt you", Seokjin started to tell me his thoughts on the situation. 

"I've tried that, but I'm too weak. Sometimes I manage to talk back but then he just says something that throws me off-guard and I'm instantly crushed", I explained to him and he let out a small "Ah", understanding what was going on.

"Well, then, you have no other choice but to stop yourself from being in love with him", Seokjin said, disliking the harshness of those words himself: "You won't win against him if you can't get rid off those feelings."

"But how do I do that? How did you fall out of love?", I questioned back. Seokjin shrugged his shoulders at that: "I don't know, I just distanced myself from the guy I liked and after some time the feelings faded away. I mean, it wasn't that easy, but after I realized that loving him made no sense, I gave up."

"Well, but I can't do that. I can try to stop my feelings for Mingyu, but the whole fanservice thing and the act we put up in front of the other members doesn't exactly help. I'm constantly next to him and it just doesn't work out like this. He keeps bringing up the topic, too, and that just makes everything worse", I complained, annoyed by the whole situation: "The only solution is for Mingyu to think I'm not in love with him, but I have no idea how to make him do that."

"What do you mean?", Seokjin inquired, confused by my conclusion.

"If he thinks I'm not in love with him anymore, he'll stop pestering me about it. I don't think he'll befriend me again since he's too disgusted to be my friend, but I think the key to making him stop is not to love him", I explained to Seokjin, making him silent. Thinking about everything I'd said, he nodded after a while, agreeing with me. 

"Maybe you don't even have to stop loving him, but just pretend that you don't", Seokjin smiled all of the sudden, liking the idea that had come to his mind.

"Yeah, well, he wouldn't exactly believe me if I said that I'm not in love with him anymore. Just a few days ago I admitted that I do love him and I think it takes a little longer than a week to fall out of love", I told him, sighing. 

"Then pretend to fall out of love and after some weeks, maybe a month, just tell him that you're over him", Seokjin answered. His eyes suddenly sparkled and the bright smile on his face which indicated that he was proud for having found an answer was quite strange, but I ignored it all, thinking his plan through instead. 

"I don't think he'll believe me, Seokjin-hyung. Not now, not in a month. He knows me too well for that. I need a valid reason for him to believe that plan", I insisted, making Seokjin chuckle: "Then let me be that reason."

"What?", I only asked, perplexed by his words. I looked at Seokjin, confusion plastered all over my face, not understanding how he could possibly help me out.

"Let me pretend to be your boyfriend."
______

A/N: I HAVE TO BE AT MY PROM IN TWENTY MINUTES SO HERE HAVE THE CHAPTER I JUST FINISHED. SORRY FOR ERRORS ILL CORRECT THEM TOMORROW!!!

THANKS FOR READING AND ALL THAT STUFF, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!