I am the kind of girl who dislikes holidays. Not because I miss the homework, or the teachers or even friends, but because there is simply nothing to do. As the clock ticks on my bedroom wall in an annoying, repetitive way, I count the seconds as they fly past. Kimchi the female cat walks in, strutting like her mother. With a soft pur, I can tell that she's almost as bored as I am. As the rest of the family enters my small bedroom, I sigh. Just the thought of returning them to Kim Myungsoo sickens me.

The hands of the clock keep moving, and I'm almost bouncing with excitment as it reaches nine. Time to start work.

As soon as I'm out, my mood is instantly down. Because of the heavy downpour of snow, the roads and pavements are blocked, meaning I can't ride my bike. Pouting, I walk in the direction of cafe, my sanctuary for the day. "Aish!" I mumble, kicking the snow. I trample on it repeatedly, jumping up and down on the same spot, leaving a dent on the snowy earth. 

"You're angry," a voice behind me says. When I turn around, I face Myungsoo. Mentally, I groan, but outside I place a smile on my lips. "Not really.."

He smiles as he walks up to me. "I've never seen you angry. It's kind of cute."

Hearing him say that, I blush. Then my thoughts whirl back to the day before, of Yunji. I push all of my feelings for this boy away, as I will for everyday after. At times like this, when he is really hurting, L needs a friend. Nothing more and nothing less. "Stop it," I say lightly. "Are you coming to the cafe?"

"Of course. I work there too, you know."

We walk with silent steps, neither of us daring to speak. The snow is lightening up a bit, as it will over the holidays too. The streets are getting busier, more couples are out on winter walks. Awkwardly with Myungsoo by my side, we make our way towards the Bear Cafe, ignoring the love that is surrounding us.

When we reach the front of the cafe, Sungyeol waves dramatically from behind the counter. I wave back, gently. "Nana!" he exclaims, running out to greet us. The shop is still closed, though a few girls linger around, waiting until it's ten. Sungyeol rubs his arms in a hurry, jumping from one foot to another. "You two are early! But why are you together?" His voice rises in suspiscion. "Were you on a date?"

I shake my head nervously, attempting to laugh away the suggestion. "No, actually..."

"We've been on heaps. Actually, we have one tomorrow as well. Want to come?"

Sungyeol sneers, pouting. "No, I don't want to be anywhere near you when you do lovey-dovey things with my Belle!"

The three of us open the shop door, a bell jingling at our footsteps. Once we enter, I'm comforted by a wave of warmth, as the numerous heaters block out the cold breeze. Sometimes you get tired of being cold. "Nana, your costume's in the staff room, you can change now if you like."

I walk on my own into the empty room. Shutting the door behind me, I sigh deeply. I can hear Woohyun entering, the famliar sound of his hearty laugh. Stripping my clothes off one by one, I suddenly feel so bare. There is always a limit to the amount of hurt that you can feel, though love is never ending. Time heals but while you are waiting karma stings.

After I am changed, I walk outside to the main cafe. We'll be opening shop in a little while. Most of the workers have arrived, but instead of Sunggyu, Youngmin is here. "Hello, Noona," he says sweetly.

"Hi." I yawn involuntarily.

Just when he's about to speak, I feel arms wrap around my shoulders. Youngmin recoils, backing away. The person above me rests their chin on my head, slowly dragging me away. He sits me on a customer's chair and sits on the other side of the table. "Hi," Myungsoo says.

I roll my eyes.

"We have a date tomorrow," he whispers.

"It's okay, you don't have to do this," I tell him. "I can just lie--" L shakes his head. "It's our 50 days anniversary. So, where do you want to go?"

I look back at his innocent eyes. Why are you playing with me? Just when I am about to tell him no, his eyebrows furrow together in frustration, eyes darting to the main entry. The door jingles, and although the shop is still closed, I can smell the woman's perfume. Twisting around in my seat, my mouth drops open.

She's here.

Alive and well, beautiful as always. But here.

Myungsoo looks as though she's about to open his mouth to say something, but Yunji cuts him off. "Nana, is that you?" she says, smiling. Today she's in designer jeans, a woolly jumper and heels. She has sunglasses on and is holding a fur coat in her hand.

I nod, limply, feeling as though all the bones in my body have cracked.

"Um, we're still closed," Sungyeol says awkwardly, trying to reason with her. She laughs gently, and I can tell that immediately all of the boys are under her spell. "I'm going in just a minute." She faces me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" When I don't reply, or move, she steps forward. "Like, alone?" Yunji says slowly, like I'm retarded. Instantly, I stand up, waddling towards her. Myungsoo's hand grabs my paw, his eyes fierce. "Don't," he mouths.

"I'm okay," I reply. Waddling towards her, we step outside, into the freezing afternoon. She is about a head taller than me, and walks with confident steps. We reach the park where I once sat with the Myungsoo and the young boy, and I plop down onto the bench next to her.

"You love him, don't you?" Yunji says, her voice as shrill as Myungsoo's. 

"No, I.."

"Don't lie. No girl can spend more than a week with him and not fall in love."

For a slight moment, there is a silence. I'm overwhelmed with the awkwardness of our conversation, wondering how L is feeling at this moment. 

"I was there when he was born," she says. Her breath turns into puffs of smoke, and she leans back onto the bench. "I was eight. I took one look at that angelic face and thought, 'I'm going to marry this boy'." She smiles, her eyes turning into sad crescents.

"When he was seven, he proposed to me," she says, laughing lightly. "I told him I'd wait. But you get tired of waiting. I turned 18 and he was 10. And a few years later, I was offered a scholarship to France at the Paris Opera Ballet. I couldn't turn it down. By that time, he was thirteen. I suddenly felt really silly. There I was, a 21 year old girl, dreaming of a pre-teen. It was wrong. I decided to leave Korea, and Myungsoo with it.

"I studied there for four years, until I went on a blind date with a French business man. It was horrible. He was so disgusting, I only thought of the beautiful baby boy I left behind. Call me disgusting, but I loved him. And I waited eighteen years for him. I want him to come with me back to France."

Yunji looks me straight in the eye, and I'm silent. "Will you give him to me?"

My mouth opens to reply, but no words exit my mouth. For a second, I'm stunned. It seems like Yunji has been in the same position as me, except worse, and for a longer time. I think of the golden boy who everyone loves, who he deserves to be with. I remember the times when he told me he loved her, the pictures of her perfect face in his house. "Look after him," I mumble. 

Before I can say anything else, Yunji pulls me into a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispers. "Thank you."

I don't try to stop the tears falling. I don't try to make myself stop when I walk into the cafe, the alarming gazes of the seven males staring straight back at me. When they ask me what's wrong, I don't speak. When I stand outside, cold, so cold, I let the tears fall down. I place the head back over my own, and hide my face. I dance along to the beat of the snowflakes falling, and slowly let the tears flow.

Come to the New Year's party the day after tomorrow, she told me before she left. It's at Myungsoo's house. But come earlier, so we can get you dressed up, okay? And thank you, Nana. Thank you so much.

T^T

& sorry, I was going to include the cats more in this chapter, but then I got so caught up with Yunji and hurhurhurhur ;~;