He comes like the wind on a spring morning. Silent. Unusual. Yet, I am intrigued in the strangest of ways. "It's early," I mumble, rubbing my sore eyes. In my hands, I hold the soaking wet pillow that has all of my tears dry. He looks different today, older, wiser. The deep shadows dwelling under his eyes tell me that, like me, he did not rest well.

"Why are you still in your pyjamas? Go get dressed."

I look straight at Myungsoo, as if he's crazy. Then, a small part of my brain remembers the one thing that he promised, even though it was over-shadowed by deeper thoughts. We're going on a fake-date. "You know," I say, yawning. "We really don't have to actually go out. Nobody would know--"

He pushes me inside my own house, guiding me to the living room. "I would know. Now get dressed. Where's your room?"

I'm fairly aware of his hands holding onto my shoulders. The tingly feeling from his finger tips have disappeared now, replaced with a sort of hurt. A sort of anger. Gently, I walk out of his grasp, towards my room. "Just stay here."

Once I'm inside, I sink to the floor. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I sigh. Is it gone? I'm not sure. The feeling is lingering around my heart, between the lines of nothing and something. Would I kiss him? I'd want to. But then it would hurt someone else, and I don't think I could live with that guilt. I ruffle my hair in frustration, heading  to my closet to find anything to wear.

I end up with a brown coat, with fur hinged at the hood, along with black tights and boots. Good enough for a fake date. The faint rumbling of voices outside snaps me out of my thoughts. Pushing the door open, I walk out to see Grandpa talking to Myungsoo. Is he...laughing?

"Grandpa," I call, hurrying out to greet him."What are you doing?"

"What do you mean, stupid girl? I live here. I was talking to this young gentleman. Why didn't you tell me you were actually dating?"

I shake my head. "No, it's just.." Before I can say anymore, my frail grandfather pulls me away from L, who looks slightly amused. "Yah!" Grandpa yells. "Just shut your mouth and stand there looking pretty. Why are you wearing pants? You're a girl, wear a skirt!" With the piece of paper in his hands, he begins to wack me repeatedly on my thighs.

"Ah! Ow, Grandpa, stop!"

"Excuse me..." Myungsoo says, awkwardly, standing behind us. Immediately Grandpa straightens. "Well, you too have fun on your date." He says the word as if it's chocolate, sickly sweet and delicious. He runs off to his own room, probably to spy on us from the window, or something.

"Sorry about that," I tell L, once we're alone.

"It's fine. Your grandpa's funny. Anyway, let's go." He grabs onto my hand, leading me out of the house. Rather than objecting or pushing him away from me, I allow my fingers to wrap around his own. For a minute, I'm reminded of the market we went to at the Winter Resort. The fluffy feeling of his pulse against my wrist, my fingers sweating every minute. I think back to the fortune teller, who was so strange, yet so right. My mind goes back to the words she whispered into my ear just before we were about to leave, the words that echoed in my head over and over.

"Two hearts joined
But ripped and torn
Just as violent
As a winter storm

One heart still loves
Still hopes, Still dreams 
To one day fix his
and sew up the seams."

I shiver lightly, though it's not the cold. The trees have been stripped bare of their leaves, the branches now blowing in the wind. "Where are we going?" I mumble. With his hand still clasped around mine, he leads me to a van. More specifically, a Pikachu van. "Wow," I mutter. "You drive?" The car is so adorable, it's hard to believe that he owns it. 

He shrugs, opening the passenger's door for me. "I'm on my P's." I hop in, and only then do I realise that he still hasn't let go of me yet. For a second, we stay paused in that position, before I pull away. His face softens, as he walks over to the driver's seat.

Once we're both safely inside the car, he reaches over my chest, towards the seat belt. He drags it along, to the buckle, smiling at me, before fixing his own. I feel like blushing. I should be blushing. My cold hands reach up to my pale cheeks, but there is no sudden warmth flaring up under my skin. I repeat Yunji's words in my head. People get tired of waiting. Do they? Or does this go on forever, me regretting all the little possibilites? One look at him, his gentle hands guiding the steering wheel, and my thoughts are answered. You can't give up something that never belonged to you.

"Okay," he says, a while later, in a voice that is so ageyo-filled that I'm almost surprised. "We're here!"

He parks the van below another tree, and unbuckles my seatbelt, then his. Before he has the chance to open my door, I open it myself. Spinning around, all of a sudden I'm in a Winter Wonderland. The snow is falling, but there are children everywhere. They skate on the ice, as if it's effortless, their legs spinning into such perfection, laced with unnoticable detail. They glide, they fly. Wearing wings made of blue fabric, stretching over skin. Instead of uttering something completely beautiful, all that comes out of my mouth is, "I don't know how to skate."

L shrugs. "You'll learn. Come on," he says, offering me his hand again. I follow him limply, clutching onto his fingers. So close, yet so far. After we change shoes, I'm now dressed in skates, finding it awfully difficult to walk properly. It's cold, especially here.

When we get on the ice though, I'm holding onto his hands tighter than ever. Tighter than at the market, in the car. He glides without effort, looking like a mix of an angel and a mermaid. His legs move in a way that I would never be able to mimick, faster than lightning, yet softer than a ballerina. Myungsoo laughs as I grab onto his arms, holding him tight.

"Don't be scared," he says, chuckling.

"I'm going to fall."

"Well if you fall--"

"You'll catch me?" I mumble, not meeting his eyes. There's a strange, almost sarcastic tone to my voice that was never there before. His face breaks into a grin. "Well, I was going to say you'll land on you're , but sure, I'll catch you."

Despite myself, I smile. I let go slightly, and even when I'm gliding as fast as he is, not as graceful, our fingertips never stop touching. As I gain confidence with my steps, I no longer look like a demented penguin. Myungsoo takes a polaroid camera out of his bag, and quickly snaps a picture when I'm not looking. "Hey!" I say, trying to reach him. He pulls me to his side, his lips on my cheek, and presses the camera. I'm in a daze. Did he just...kiss me? Again? When it prints out, he hands it to me. "For Sungyeol."

Instantly, I'm snapped back to reality. He wouldn't talk to me if it weren't for the wavier. I take it, and put it in my coat pocket. "Thanks.."

As the sun goes down, the stars appear, along with the moon. We sit together on the side steps, taking pictures as proof, and just simply talking. "I've always wanted a little sister," he says, smiling at me.

Instead of feeling a pain in my heart, I nod and smile with him. "I've always wanted a brother."

When his phone rings, I jump slightly. The soft vibration is almost loud against the silence we once shared. He answers it, not looking at the caller ID. "Hello?.....That was tonight?....Sorry, I forgot.....Now? Okay, be there in a minute."

He meets my eyes, biting his lip. I look back at him expectantly. "Sorry, I completely forgot that I had a gig tonight. Want to come?"
The look in his eyes aren't of longing. He doesn't want me to come really, it's more pitiful. Apologetic. "Sure. Why not?"

I hop inside the car, and as if it's ritual, he pulls my seatbelt down to the buckle for me, as if I really was his little sister. We drive further, and all I can do is sit and stare at the window, at the moon gleaming from far away. Yes, he will always be my moon. But he will also be everyone else's. 

His 'gig' turns out to be at a small pub. We enter the tiny room, Myungsoo with his guitar strapped around his shoulder. I never even knew he played. "You!" a woman who appears to be in her late thirties calls, running towards us. Her make-up is smeared, her lipstick a bright pink. She's wearing a tight leopard dress, though she isn't exactly fit. "I could kill you! We've been waiting ages!"

"I'm sorry, Ahjumma," he mumbles, grabbing his guitar.

"Just get on stage!"

She pushes him on the empty stage, which is dimly light by lights. There are mostly students in this bar, along with your regular drunken fool. The woman grabs my hand sweetly, and leads me to an empty table. "Just have a seat sweetie, we're closing soon anyway. After a few songs."

I slink down into the chair, as I watch Myungsoo preparing his equipment, along with the other band. From this view, I can see his face clearly, but I'm not struggling to lift my head. After a couple of minutes, he leans towards the microphone across from him, and he lightly begins to strum the guitar strings. As he sits on that stage, I can almost feel his eyes burning into my own. As if he's singing to me. If only.

"Give me a smile, Don't be sad
It's going to be alright. Don't shed a tear
The song that I am singing now
I hope that it can bring you a bit of comfort

Give me a smile, Don't get hurt
It's going to be alright, although you are going through a hard time now
Time will pass
Everything will look up again

Give me a smile
I am right here by your side
I love you, can you hear my heart?
Close your eyes

No matter what, I believe you
I am always here for you

Give me a smile, look into my eyes
I love you, I have always been looking at your heart
It has never changed
You can lean on my shoulders
Take a rest,
Give me a smile.

I am here for you, 
me who believes in you
always and forever."

extract from 'Broken Hearts' - poem by Rose Favela

gosh that had a lot of links. sort of a filler chapter. i can totally imagine myungsoo singiing give me a smile <3 :D

i'm so spazzy rn, I THINK I'M A FAN OF RAINBOW PIXIE. ROAR.