I lean my head against the window pane. The clock ticks rhythmically, tapping for what seems like eternity. As if the snow will fall forever. My mind is in the clouds as Mrs. Lee talks to us about the future, university and becoming an adult. I sigh. I'm not ready for it. Not yet. The snow that will melt and turn into a bright spring, is it possible for a wintry love?

I stare at the back of Myungsoo's head, his perfect hair is glowing slightly from the light streaming from the window. And so the rollercoaster of confusion begins all over again, I think sarcastically in my mind. My fingers find their way to the edge of my binder book, lightly touching the spine. Haneul's words still echo loud and clear in my head. Every so often, she glances in my direction, eyes glaring. A silent threat.

"Nana, what is your dream?"

My head snaps up, hearing Mrs. Lee's voice bringing me back to reality. She blinks expectantly at me, as the entire class turns to face me. I can feel my cheeks flush rosy pink. "I-I..." I pause, thinking for a minute. "I want to be ...independant." I give a relaxed sigh as the students turn back to the front.

"Good, good. Women rights! There are a few job ideas for stronger women, such as..."

I flop my head back down onto my long arms, chin resting on my forearms. I can feel something poking me from the left. As I turn in annoyance, I realise that it's a paper aeroplane. I unfold the lazy origami, to find a handwritten note.

I'm your puppy, so it's your responsibility to walk me after school!

I look up at Sungyeol, who stares back with a smile. His eyes are the colour of his hair. On normal occasions, I'd have rejected. But for the meantime, I'm avoiding L. At all costs. I nod, so Sungyeol reaches over the desk to squeeze my hand lightly. Can dogs sense when their masters are unhappy?

Once class ends, I race out of the room, running at full speed. I can't even meet eyes with Myungsoo anymore. I wait for Sungyeol by the gates, and he's already puffing by the time he catches up. "Wait up, Nana! Are you in that much of a rush? I'm tired..."

I'm about to advance forwards, before a hand lands on my shoulder. I spin around, expecting it to be a tired Sungyeol. It's not.

"Aren't we walking home together?"

I look away, averting eyes. I can't look at him. I shift uncomfortablly under Myungsoo's gaze. "Not today, sorry. I'm going out with Sungyeol for a bit.." I explain, as if he's my mother. 

His face softens slightly. "Oh..." Is there disappointment I hint in his voice? "I could wait--"

"No, it's fine," I mumble, looking at the ground. I grab Sungyeol's arm and drag him slowly in the opposite direction. "I'll see you...later," I say apologetically.

Once we're a few metres ahead, Myungsoo's figure has disappeared. Sungyeol looks at me, tilting his head. "What's up with that? Are you really still talking to that jerk--"

"Come on. Let's go eat something," I say before he can say anything else. I want to avert this conversation entirely away from L.

"What do you want to eat? Hot chocolate? Dukkbokki?"

I shake my head, watching the trees as snow begins to fall. "I want to eat ice cream."


We sit on the park bench, me eating a cup of vanilla ice cream, Sungyeol on a popsicle. "You're one weird girl, Nana," he says, swirling his tongue around. The snow is getting heavier now, but I like it. Even through my thin pantyhose, I feel the coldness from the metal seat. The coldness is something that connects me to an icy boy.

I my spoon happily, my legs swinging. "I feel like..." I blush, looking down. "Like I'm eating the snow."

For a second, Sungyeol meets my eyes. His mouth is twisted in a half-smile, as if he's thinking, she's weird but cute. His arm rises, and ruffles the snow out of my hair, making me blush. "I'll buy you vanilla ice cream everyday if I can see you smile like that."

I'm silent for a minute. He moves closer towards me, and I catch my breath. "You know I'm always here for you," he tells me sincerely. "I promise."

I stare into his brown eyes, my feelings changing slightly for him. 

"Because I'm a puppy!" he says in a childish voice, using his hands are dog ears. I blink twice, then burst out laughing. Nope, still the same Sungyeol. And I'm glad for it.

"Come on, I'll walk you home," he says, rising. His tall frame blocks out all the sunlight, as I sheepishly stand next to him. Standing, I reach his chest. It's not far to my house. And I'm still having horrible memories of what happened the last time Sungyeol walked me home. "It's fine," I tell him honestly. "It's really close."

We bid our farewells, and head off in the opposite direction. I think I'm beginning to love Sungyeol. In a brotherly manner, like a sibling or...a dog. 
When I reach my house, I can make out a faint sihoullette. "Oh, not again," I mumble to myself. I take quicker steps, closer and closer. The person turns around, and for once, I'm not surprised.

"Myungsoo, what are you doing here?" I mumble half-heartedly. God, please don't make him faint; Grandpa's home...

As soon as I'm within arm's length away from him, he traps me against the brick wall, his face lingering near mine. His arms pin me on either side, as he stares me down with a stare that is a mix of love and hate. I squirm uselessly under him.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he breathes, staring me down. I stop fighting, letting him hold onto my arms. "What, because I'm not following you around like a cat, I'm avoiding you?" I say harshly. Yet, I don't feel a hint of guilt lying. I am avoiding him, but all for good reasons. A flash of hurt lingers across his face for longer than it should have, but he recovers quickly.

"Is something wrong?"

"Can you let go of me?" I say uncomfortablly. "I can't even think when you're this close to me!" The sentence comes out unintentionally. We're both silent for a bit, and I'm cursing myself in my mind. He lets of his iron grip, and I rub at my wrists, my arms finally released.

"What did you say..?" he mumbles.

I shake my head. "You know what, don't worry about it," I say, my eyes b with fresh tears. I walk up the pavement to my front door, but he grabs my wrist, twirling me so I end up facing him. 

"Are you crying?"

They don't even fall down properly. Angry, hot, burning tears. When you've held something in for so long, when you're so frustrated that you can't even cry, even if the tears blur your eyes. "Yes, I'm crying," I say in a low voice. My hands rub tiredly at my eyes, forcing them out.

"...Did I do something wrong?"

I pull my arm away from his hand, pushing him off. "Yes, you did do something wrong! You're confusing. You're a puzzle. One minute you like me, the next you won't even speak to me. You treat me like a princess but you don't even give a reason why, nor do you care! You can't even make me hate you. I'm confused, Myungsoo! And the worst part is, you don't even--"

His hands grab the back of my neck, as he pulls me towards him. His lips brush against mine, his eyes close. I hold my breath, as his mouth attatches itself to my own. I've never been kissed, nor did I have any plans to. But it's so sweet. Naturally, I close my eyes, letting the real impact of being kissed claim over my body. The feeling is mindblowing, especially because it's L. He moves in all directions, his soft lips are mesmerising. I feel like jelly. 

When he pulls away, I want to tell him not to, but he opens his mouth to speak. "I don't know how to," he says quietly. "I don't know how to show you..."

The corners of my lips hitch up in a small smile. "Words," I whisper. "I like words."

"Can you like me again?" He meets my eyes. "Even if I don't know how to show it, even if I'm not good with words, or actions, I...I like you. I'm late and I'm slow, but I've known you for a while. That girl over the fence. The one who's only friend is her cat, who is so small that I could rest my head on top of yours. I always see you, but I never talked to you. Until now. I didn't like you then because I didn't know your personality, but I felt something. It wasn't very big or obvious, but it was there. Do you know what that means?"

"What does it mean..?"

"It means I fell in love with you before I even know your name."

well I've planned that for a while now. 

haha, 26 chapters of a one-sided love all leading to that moment!