Things We Can't Control
In Search of MeaningHakyeon and Leo hopped into the back seat of the cab that was waiting for them at St. Paul's Hospital's entranceway. After Hakyeon gave the driver the address to his apartment, the yellow vehicle eased out into the city streets pulsing with neon lights and night owls.
Leo sat on the right side of the backseat with only two feet of space left between him and Hakyeon. The interior of the cab was quickly filling up with the sweet smell of Hakyeon's skin, and halfway through the forty minute drive Leo felt like he was drowning in the scent. He tried to distract himself from it by gazing out the window to watch the nightlife pass them by, but the alluring smell kept pulling his gaze back to the vet who was obliviously closing his eyes and leaning his head back on the headrest.
Feeling his heart quicken at the sight of Hakyeon's exposed neck, he tore his eyes away and rubbed his now sweaty hands on the fabric of his jeans in an attempt to dry them. He took deep calming breathes through his nose, but instantly regretted it when Hakyeon's smell invaded his senses like a flood.
A tingling sensation erupted in his fingertips with the need to touch Hakyeon's dark skin, and he tucked his hands underneath his armpits to prevent himself from acting on the impulse. But soon the tingling began to spread through the rest of his hands, then up his arms, across his chest, down his torso, and eventually the rest of his body.
Every inch of Leo screamed for Hakyeon, and the wolf man had no idea what to do about it. Back in the hospital, Leo only touched the vet because he was curious about his feelings, but this was something different. Something he couldn't control. He started rocking himself back and forth to cope with the feeling, keeping his hands tucked under his armpits, because he was certain that if he let them free he wouldn't be able to stop himself from lunging at Hakyeon.
Leo also tried to keep his breathing shallow, so he can reduce the amount of Hakyeon's scent entering his system like a virus. He screwed his eyes shut, hoping stop the urge to taste the sweet smelling skin that came in waves whenever he caught sight of it.
"Sir," the driver called back, noticing Leo's distress through the rearview mirror. "Are you alright back there?"
Hakyeon opened his eyes upon hearing the question, and glanced over at Leo. When he saw the state the other was in, worry flashed across Hakyeon's face.
"Oh my God, Leo." He leaned closer to examine him as he asked, "What's happening? What's wrong?" Hakyeon noticed that the wolf ears under the beanie were pinned so tight to his head they appeared to be non-existent, and his worry grew into anxiety.
Leo felt the vet leaning in, and a fiery heat seemed to explode in his veins. The wolf man tried to put as much distance between himself and Hakyeon by pushing himself against the cool interior of the car door. Even though the coolness of the plastic felt pleasant on his hot skin, it wasn't nearly enough to repress the heat. Feeling helpless, he couldn't stop the miserable high pitched whine that emanated from the back of his throat. It was barely audible, but Hakyeon still caught the canine sound over the radio.
"Stop the car!" Hakyeon shouted at the driver, panic lacing his voice.
The driver argued, "But sir, we're on a bridge-"
"I said stop the car, NOW!" Hakyeon roared at the man, and he immediately obeyed, pulling over to the right.
Before the car even stopped, Hakyeon was already unbuckled and opening the door. Leo had already opened his door and fell onto the sidewalk of the bridge by the time the vet made it to the other side of the vehicle.
Hakyeon kneeled down and pulled Leo up from the pavement to lean him back against the rear tire of the cab. Overwhelmed by the vet's scent, Leo shoved him away with all his might causing the other to collide with the fence that prevented people from falling or jumping off the bridge. The driver was about to exit the vehicle to see if he could help, but Hakyeon motioned for him to stay in the car.
Shocked by Leo's behavior, Hakyeon watched as he leaned his head back against the yellow cab with his eyes closed. His mouth was agape and gasping for the chilly night air, and his breath fogging every time he exhaled. His skin was glistening with sweat, and it shined a golden glow when the headlights of cars passed by. For a moment, he found the wolf man attractive like this, but the feeling was overshadowed with concern.
Leo felt his body cool down instantly when his skin came into contact with the chilly air, and since Hakyeon's scent was being blown away by the breeze, the tingling sensations and his beating heart seemed to settle down. Alleviation washed through him, and he felt his tense muscles relaxing against the cab and the sidewalk.
"I'm sorry."
Leo opened his eyes, and glanced questioningly at Hakyeon before closing his them again, still affected by the sight of the other.
"For what?" Leo asked, unsure why the vet was apologizing.
"I didn't know-" Hakyeon coughed on the cold air as he replied. "I didn't know you were claustrophobic."
"Eh?" Leo looked at him in confusion.
"If you had told me sooner, I would have figured out a different mode of transportation to my apartment."
Leo made a split second decision to go along with Hakyeon's assumption, since it was much easier than explaining to him the real reason he was like this.
"It's okay." Having calmed down enough Leo casually pushed himself up, and held out a helping hand to Hakyeon.
Accepting the offer, Hakyeon asked as he was pulled up, "So, will you be okay for the rest of the drive? It's only about ten more minutes until we get to my apartment."
Leo nodded, "As long as the windows are open."
~ ~ ~
"The only things I really moved from this place to Gangsan were my clothes since I bought mostly new things for my house, so this place is still inhabitable." Hakyeon explained as they entered the apartment, and he gestured to the large room to the right of the doorway. "This is the living room. It's got a nice sofa, and a flat screen TV for you to watch if you ever get bored."
He then led Leo into the kitchen which had; a black and white checker tiled floor, a stainless steel refrigerator, a black glasstop stove, dark granite countertops, and white cupboards.
"I took half of my kitchen utensils to Gangsan, but there's still enough here for us to use," Hakyeon said, and quickly pointed out to Leo where the glasses, dishes, and eating utensils were. When he finished, he led him out of the kitchen, and into a small corridor with a single door on the right wall at the end of the hall and two doors on the left.
"The last door on the right is the guest room. It has two twin beds in it, so you can just choose whichever one you want, unless you'd prefer to sleep on the couch. My room is right across from the guest room, and the bathroom is the first door on the left." Hakyeon turned to Leo, and was startled slightly by how close the wolf man was standing next to him. The vet hadn't realized through the entire tour that Leo was never further than two feet from him.
Taking a step back, Hakyeon smiled awkwardly and asked, "Are you hungry at all? I can make a quick dinner before we go to bed."
Leo nodded his head, and Hakyeon instantly moved back into the kitchen to start preparing the meal. Once Hakyeon was engrossed in taking the ingredients out, Leo gradually moved closer so he could be within three feet of him once again. He wasn't sure why, but he felt the need to be close to the other, as if he can't relax if he isn't.
"Does dumpling soup sound alright?" Hakyeon called out, again not noticing Leo's proximity.
"Ne." Leo replied with a soft voice, now standing directly behind Hakyeon.
"Omo!" Hakyeon yelped, jumping in surprise when he turned around to find Leo practically right in his face. "Will you stop doing that?!" Hakyeon exclaimed, becoming annoyed with the little scares, and he returned to preparing the food.
"Doing what?" Leo asked, genuinely unsure of what he did wrong.
Hakyeon replied while he was putting ingredients in already boiling water, "Sneaking up on me! I swear, I might just buy you a cat bell just so I know where you are at all times."
"Don't," said Leo, not liking the idea of wearing a bell around his neck.
Hakyeon was going to add onto the subject, but when he turned around he found himself only inches away from Leo's face. His heart started pounding in his chest as his eyes flickered from Leo's dark brown orbs to his small plump lips, and he gulped nervously. Taking executive action, Hakyeon swiftly grabbed the knife off the cutting board he used to chop up vegetables for the soup, and pointed it at Leo in a mock threat.
"Out of my kitchen." Hakyeon ordered, grateful that his voice didn't tremble while trying to keep his nervousness from showing. "Now."
Leo glanced between the tip of the knife and Hakyeon's challenging gaze. Knowing that it's useless to argue with the vet, Leo turned and walked into the living room to sit on the sofa. Hakyeon returned to cooking in peace while the wolf man waited patiently on the couch, leaning over every now and then to see if he can catch a glimpse of the elder. After a few minutes, Leo realized he didn't have to hide his ears and tail any
Comments