Help Yourself/Others

In Search of Meaning
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The grey truck sped through the streets of Seoul, making random turns now and then to make sure no one was able to follow. In the back seat, Hyuk sat in the middle between Woohyun and a very groggy Hongbin, who kept jerking his head up whenever he caught himself falling asleep.

Hyuk watched him worriedly, and asked, "Are you okay, Hongbin?"

Slowly, Hongbin turned his head to look at Hyuk with heavy eyelids that threatened to close any second.

"Honestly," Hongbin mumbled, slurring slightly. "I'm not sure."

"What do you mean you're not sure?" Hyuk twisted in his seat to face the cyborg, and placed his hands on the sides of Hongbin's face to keep his head up when it started drooping again.

"I've never..." Hongbin trailed off when sleep tugged at his consciousness, but managed to fend it off in order to continue. "I've never been this low on power before. Plus, the only place I know of that has the equipment to charge me...is the lab."

A spark of panic quickened Hyuk's heart rate, and when Hongbin started dozing off again he gave his head a light shake to keep him awake.

"What happens if you run out of power?" Hyuk asked anxiously.

"I don't know..." Hongbin replied drowsily, too tired to even feel fear in the situation.

Everything was beginning to sound muffled, like his hearing was beginning to shut down. He also realized that some time within the last few minutes he had completely lost his sense of touch, leaving his entire body feeling numb and heavy. Soon, his eyelids started to slowly fall closed, and no matter how desperately he tried to keep them open he found that his body was no longer listening.

"Hongbin!" Hyuk's fear filled shout sounded distant, and the last thing he saw before his eyes closed completely was Hyuk's blurry face.

Is this it? Hongbin thought to himself in the silent darkness. Am I going to die like this?

Suddenly, the same orange light started flashing in the lower right hand corner of his vision, just like it did minutes ago. Once again, when he moved his eyes toward it, a message appeared before his eyes.

ACTIVATE SOLAR CHARGING BY SAYING 'MODE CHANGE: OSSIA'. 

- MR. SIMPLE

Mr. Simple? Hongbin questioned, having never heard of such a person. Almost as if he read his mind, another message popped up.

TRUST ME.

For a moment, Hongbin hesitated, but he quickly came to the conclusion that he had nothing to lose by doing as the person told him to.

"Mode change:..." Hongbin's voice came out quiet, and deeper in pitch since his vocal functions were now shutting down. "Ossia."

Instantly, Hongbin felt his body tingle as microscopic solar panels shifted into place on the outer layer of his skin. He heard Hyuk ask him what was happening, although his voice was so quiet he thought that maybe he was just imagining it. However, with the last bit of his strength he managed to whisper a reply.

"Solar....charging....."

Then everything went black.

 

~  ~  ~

 

Kyuhyun walked out to the black SUV waiting for him at the front entrance of St. Paul's Hospital, carrying one of his unconscious colleagues over his shoulder. Another suit stepped out of the driver's side when he saw Kyuhyun approaching, and he quickly moved around to open the back door for him. With a huff, Kyuhyun set the limp man down in the back seat of the vehicle.

"Thank you, Kangin." Kyuhyun said to the slightly shorter, yet broader man, as he straightened out his hole-filled jacket. 

"It didn't go as planned, I take it." Kangin said, closing the door.

Kyuhyun sighed, "It was going perfectly, until a few uninvited guests ruined the fun."

"Uninvited guests?" Kangin questioned as he walked around the front of the SUV, back to the driver's side.

"Yeah," Kyuhyun answered irritatedly, resting his arms on the roof of the car as he talked to his colleague. "A bunch of brats showed up in a pickup truck just in time to 'save the day'." The last few words were heavy with annoyance and mockery.

"And how is it that 'a bunch of brats' managed to thwart our mighty Kyuhyun?" Kangin taunted with a smirk.

Kyuhyun scowled at the man, and jerked his door open to sit in the vehicle.

After Kangin followed suit, he replied, "It turns out that a brat with a great throwing arm plus a brat who knows how to use a shotgun make formidable opponents if they have the element of surprise."

"And ketchup?" Kangin asked, raising an eyebrow at the red stain on the white shirt underneath Kyuhyun's jacket.

Kyuhyun glanced down at the spot, and shook his head, "Don't ask."

His colleague chuckled, and turned the key in the ignition to bring the vehicle to life.

"Did you at least get the truck's license plate number?" Kangin asked as he pulled the SUV out onto the busy street.

"No. I was too busy eating a burger and a buckshot."

"A burger?"

"Nevermind." Kyuhyun groaned, rubbing his hands over his face out of stress. "Just take us back to the lab."

Kangin gave Kyuhyun a questioning glance, "We're not going to look for them? They couldn't have gone far."

"The boss called saying that 'Mr. Simple' has been causing trouble again, and he wants me to focus on finding him for now."

Kangin clucked his tongue in disapproval, "You've been looking for 'Mr. Simple' for two months without making any progress. What makes him think you can find him now?"

The younger rolled his eyes in frustration, "I don't know. He seems to think that this 'Mr. Simple' guy will eventually make a mistake or something to give himself away, but I know that's never going to happen. I don't know how he does it, but everytime I get close he completely vanishes off the grid without leaving so much as a nanobyte of a trace."

"He must be a better hacker than you, and you're a frickin' robot." Kangin commented while keeping his eyes on the road.

Kyuhyun glared at the man, "I'm a cyborg, not a robot. There's a difference. Now shut up, and drive."

His colleague did just that, but not without laughing in amusement at his sulking partner.

 

~  ~  ~

 

"You know," Hakyeon began as he stood in the living room with crossed arms, watching Leo sit on the couch clicking a button on the tv remote over and over again as he surfed the channels. "You should really be in bed, resting."

"I'm fine," Leo replied softly, looking away from the television to give Hakyeon an unimpressed glare.

"Three hours ago, you weren't fine." Hakyeon shot back, stepping forward to take the remote from Leo's hands. However, the wolf man kept a vice like grip on the device, his strength easily outmatching the vet's. "Leo, give me the remote." Hakyeon ordered through clenched teeth as he wrestled with the stronger man in a futile attempt to retrieve the said object.

"No." Leo said in defiance just as Hakyeon started twisting the remote, trying to loosen his grip.

Surprisingly, the vet's strategy began to work as Leo felt the object begin to slip from his slightly sweaty hands. Desperate to hold onto his small treasure, Leo leaned back into the cushions of the couch, and raised his leg to place his foot against Hakyeon's stomach to put some distance between them. Hakyeon grunted from the pressure on his abdomen, but kept his hands on the remote nonetheless.

"This is really childish, you know." Hakyeon choked out, but Leo ignored the comment and pressed his foot even harder against the vet. Even though his abdomen was beginning to hurt, Hakyeon was determined to get the remote to his television back, and he only tightened his grip on the black object when he noticed Leo's ears tilting back, a tell-tale sign that the wolf man was beginning to have difficulty.

Sensing that he was about to lose, Leo took action by using his other leg to kick at Hakyeon's knees. After a few strikes, the older lost his balance and fell onto the couch next to Leo, but he still kept his grip firm. The two continued playing tug-of-war over the small household item, pushing and pulling each other's arms roughly. Eventually, Leo found himself hovering slightly over Hakeyon, and he knew that if he was going to win this he had to make his move now.

Abruptly, Leo stopped moving without loosening his hold on the remote, and a small smirk tugged at one of the corners of his lips. Noticing the wolf man's change in behavior, Hakyeon too stopped pulling.

"What?" Hakyeon asked, furrowing his eyebrows in both confusion and suspicion.

Without a word, Leo slowly leaned forward to inch his face closer to Hakyeon's. The vet kept his eyes locked with the wolf man's dark ones as he retreated from Leo's advancement by leaning back into the cushions of the couch. His breath hitched when he couldn't move any further into the couch, and could only watch Leo's face come closer and closer to his own. He stopped breathing all together when there was only a mere centimeter left between their noses. Then, Leo closed the distance by bringing his lips to the tip of Hakyeon's nose for a light peck.

Instantly, all the strength in Hakyeon's hands evaporated, and Leo tugged the remote free from his grip. Hakyeon could only stare at the other in stunned silence as Leo leaned up and sat back comfortably to continue flipping through the channels. A few moments later, Leo glanced back at the dumbfounded Hakyeon, and openly smirked.

That cocky bastard! Hakyeon shouted mentally as he felt heat rise in his cheeks; from embarrassment, arousal, or anger, he didn't know.

He was about to punch the wolf man in the arm, but restrained himself when he remembered that he still had stitches in his shoulder. In the end, he settled for giving a light kick to Leo's thigh, then stood up to grab himself a drink.

Just as he stepped into the kitchen, though, his cell phone that was sitting on the coffee table suddenly started ringing. Hakyeon sighed, and retraced his steps into the living room to answer the obnoxious device.

He pressed the answer button on the touch screen, and said

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Comments

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Kasou9
#1
Chapter 46: Hi i know its been a long time since you wrote this but anyway...i understand that you are no longer a starlight its sad but things like that hapoen to every fan ..... i also know that a lot of people love this story just like me and honestly i really want a happy ending for this the main reason is jonghyun because i only started reading this this week and when i first saw his name i was really sad he was in the fic then i realised you wrote this in 2015 _2016 and as the story went on i couldn't help but somehow just wish this would end happily because jonghyun is alive here and he gets to live and be happy in the end idk its weird to think that way but i felt glad he was in the fic and i was grateful to you but like
Dont remove him please it would be too sad at least like this remember him from time to time ppl will remember him while reading this fic i would really want to see the rest of the fic but its your choice after all and in case you dont finish it i still wanna thank you for the story it was lovely and thank you for sharing our love for vixx and shinee even if it ended somehow ♡
BlingBlingTiger
#2
Chapter 46: I think you need to do what you feel is best for you. We all need time to grieve and come to terms with what happened. I cried for days when I got the news and it feels like a part of me has been ripped away. I understand you not wanting to continue with him as a character in the story.
As for VIXX... Everyone has different opinions and ways of seeing things and dealing with situations...personally, when I see them exhausted and struggling, I worry about them, I want to lift some of the burden somehow. I want to tell them to rest and take care of themselves, but I also want to tell them to keep doing their best. I believe that VIXX and Starlights are a unit together and that it's our job to support and encourage each other. I love them all so, so much and their well-being (physically, mentally and emotionally) is of the utmost importance to me and so I worry a lot but I am also immensely proud of them. They always do their best and work hard to be the best that they can be while showing their appreciation for Starlights and I find that really admirable. Even exhausted, they give it their all to show their fans something amazing because they love Starlights and their passion for what they do is boundless. Seeing their determination despite the difficulties they face just makes me love them even more. To be honest, I could never abandon them like that. Leaving them because they were tired... is not a good reason. It's a shame that you couldn't grasp the immense effort they put in to show you a good performance.
Do what you want with the story and don't continue if you really can't, but please try to be more understanding of others in the future. We are all human beings and it is imperative to remember that they are humans too.
SuperShinee2pm2ne1 #3
Chapter 46: I think you should still continue writing the story. Though I understand the point about Jonghyun and with that I think you can 3 things with his character. The 1st option is to keep writing it with him in it, 2nd option is to exchange someone from another group with him and take the time to rewrite his parts to fit said new character and the 3rd option is to remove home out of the story completely. I personally would be sad if you take his character out but it's not my story to say any of the final stuff regarding the story. What ever you end up doing I'll respect it.
lunaticJTW
#4
Chapter 1: Whoa Taek calm ur
shuzyah
#5
Chapter 46: I am fine with not reading Jonghyun in the story for the time being, as it will hurt for the fans, and it will be tough for you too since you are questioning it. As for supporting VIXX.. considering what happen to Jonghyun, everyone r humans, including VIXX & yourself. If u need to stop the story, or keep it on hitaus, or continue, it is totally up to u, and i will support u & respect ur decision.
JungHyunRi
#6
Chapter 46: Hi authornim.. Finally u are back.. Or atleast have inform ur whereabouts..
1stly.. I am very agree with ChaYuume comment bellow..
Its up to u.. If u want to resume this story or not.. If u alr lost interest abt this story.. Bcz If u keep write this story.. U'll feel burden in fact.. U also can't give soul to ur story..
2nd abt ur experience in VIXX concert.. Well
I have my own experience for VIXX in SEA last July.. And truth to be told as ChaYuumee said.. We can't decide that some idols not give them all to fans (I telk this not only in name of VIXX but every idol in general)
Yepp u must be known that before VIXX have a concert at ur country, they alr had many scheduled they done.. And don't u think they stamina and energy almost zero? But they keep their scheduled over ur country.. If that not a way of their act to show Starlight Canada how they really appreciate ur invite?

Truth be told.. I alr attend Super Show concert in my countries for 5 times.. And the 2 times I attend were SS4 when they held 3 days a row in my country.. And they seriously exhausted at the 2nd day (1st day I attend the concert) And when I attended the last days (I atrended the 2nd and 3rd days).. They looked so hype and excited.. Maybe bcz that day is their last so they could rest.. And they really gave their all out energy in the final days..

Its humanly abt idol tho..

So If u seriously thinking,u couldn't be a starlight anymore just bcz of ur 1st experience,, well sorry to say.. Im a little bit disappointes with ur fell tho.. Huhu..

If u told them not give their all just bcz of ur guessing abt they weren't as excited as the fans there.. Its not wise for them too.. ㅠㅠ
Sorry..
edrylla_Dya #7
Chapter 46: I love this story. I love it's character. I hope the characters stays until the end. But if it's hard for you, I can understand. Thank you for your hard work author-nim

In the light of Jonghyun's passing and in the light of your experience to VIXX concert. Shinee is forever one of my favourite group. They're the second one after tvxq. When I love a group, that's mean no picking biases because I love them all. It tattered me very much, as a person who's much less experiencing the same mental illness. He could have a better future but maybe this is the best for him. And VIXX is, we can see from their schedule how packed it is. Entertaining people seem easy because we're watching without experiencing. Somehow, I hope you still love them the same.

-for we're neither immortal nor invincible-
verse2wo
#8
Chapter 46: While I would like for this story to continue, I understand why you would want to stop.
In light of recent events, it would be a different story without Jonghyun.
I wish you well and support whatever choices you make.
ChaYuume
#9
Hello~!☆
So, first of all...
Your story is one of the best I ever read, the suspense and all were really... Overwhelming?
Anyway thank for writing such a story.
But, if you feels like you can't continue to write it, I think we can all understand it.
It's true that only you knows what future you had reserved to the characters of this story, and with Jonghyun's passing, I understand that it's harder, knowing also what the story is about.
Whether we are fans or not, it affect us all. We all knows who Shinee are, their songs, they had a major impact on kpop.
Even if it's in different ways, even if we dont have the same way to cope with that, to mourn, or whatsoever, it'll leave an impact on all of us.
(It's still a sensible point, I'll move on...)

Secondly, concerning your experience at VIXX's concert.... Well...They are humans.
You can't expect idols to always give it their all when they are exhausted or feels down, even if they are trying it could also not works sometimes. You can't say that they dont care for their fans, not after all they do FOR their fans. Even over their exhaustion, Idols gives you a good performance, even if they're feeling down or aren't in the mood, they take over themselves.
Say, when you are exhausted, are you in a state where you can do anything else aside from resting?
So why would it be different for idols, they are not robots. They push themselves and push their problem asides for the sake of their carreer. For the sake of their own health. The recent situation is sadly the proof of that.
You don't know what is really happening in their lives, they all have their own problems, whichever idol it can be.
And, with all that we know about Korea's idol industry,...

With all of that said, if you lost your motivation over this concert experience and the loss of Jonghyun; if you don't want to continue this story, I think that it's better to just stop it there (even if, I'm sure, we would have liked a proper ending).
In the end, its your story, we are your readers; as long as you feels good with your decision, we must respect it.

Thanks for your hard work~*