Tell Me, Mr. Lee

In Search of Meaning
Please log in to read the full chapter

"Do you think they'll follow us in?" Hakyeon asked in a hushed voice a few seconds after Onew left to get their drinks. 

Leo's eyes darted to the front of the restaurant, seeing if the suits had followed them inside. He would have used his heightened sense of hearing to determine whether they did or not, but with the beanie hat keeping his wolf ears pinned down he couldn't hear as well. With no sign of their pursuers, Leo turned back to Hakyeon with a shrug, showing his uncertainty.

Hakyeon sighed and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes out of stress. He mentally kicked himself for getting them into this situation, and for letting his guard down just because they haven't seen the suits for a couple days. Different scenarios of how this night was going to end flashed through his mind, and very few resulted in the two of them making it home.

Damn it, damn it, damn it! Hakyeon cursed to himself, and rested his head in his hands as he leaned his elbows on the table. What do I do? Any second, those suits could come barging in here, and take Leo away. Wait. No, they wouldn't barge in, there's too many people inside. They're probably going to wait until we leave to make a move. Maybe there's a back door we can use? No, the suits will probably have all the exits covered by now. Jesus, how am I going to get Leo out of here? Think, Hakyeon, think!

While Hakyeon was lost in his own panicking thoughts, Leo noticed the vet's hands tighten into fists against his head as a sign of distress. He watched Hakyeon's eyes dart back and forth as if an action movie was playing on the table's surface. When Hakyeon's breathing started to become shallow and quick paced, Leo knew he had to do something to distract the other. Seeing the vet in such a state unnerved him.

"Hakyeon." Leo said gently, but the vet's eyes remained distant, watching whatever his mind was creating. "Hakyeon," Leo repeated, this time a little louder. The elder's head shot up at the sound of Leo's voice, finally snapping out of it.

"What?" Hakyeon asked in a daze.

Leo flipped open his menu, and showed it to Hakyeon while pointing a finger at a random item on the page, "I'm thinking of trying this. What about you?"

The vet blinked a couple times as he processed Leo's words, then he looked at the item Leo was gesturing to and his faced turned a light shade of pink.

"Do you really want to try that?" Hakyeon questioned, unsure of Leo's choice.

The wolf man nodded, but when he saw Hakyeon's face redden even more he turned the menu around to see what he was pointing at. When he realized what the item was, he felt his own cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

Lovers' Raspberry Cake for Couples!

Enjoy these cream filled golden sponge cakes, topped

with raspberry jam and fresh raspberries, with your special someone!

  

Leo held the menu higher to hide his flushed face, and he sank down into his seat wishing the floor would magically open up and swallow him into oblivion.

Not wanting Hakyeon to realize his mistake, he timidly replied, "It looks good."

Hakyeon stared slack-jawed in mild disbelief at the sulking wolf man, and his train of thought shifted into a different direction.

Does Leo think we're in that kind of relationship? Hakyeon wondered, then quickly dispelled the thought. No, no, no. There's no way he'd think like that. All we've done is kiss a couple times, and those instances were just in the heat of the moment. Yeah. In the heat of the moment. Besides, after the little incident with the remote, we haven't done anything like that. In fact, Leo has been keeping a little distance between us ever since then. He's always at least three feet away from me, and shortly after I walk into the same room as him, he gets up to do chores or something somewhere else in our apartment. Now that I think about it, maybe I should talk to him about...... Wait a second. 'Our' apartment? Since when is it 'our' apartment?! No, it's MY apartment. Get a grip on yourself, Hakyeon!

Just then, Onew returned with two glasses of water. The pink-haired man kept a cheerful smile on his face as he served them.

"Are you ready to order? Or would you like more time to decide?" Onew asked, resting his hands politely behind his back.

"I'm ready." Leo stated and closed his menu, to Hakyeon's complete surprise.

"Okay," Onew replied, turning his full attention onto the wolf man. "What would you like?"

Leo answered while he handed his menu back to the waiter, "I'll have the steak."

"How would you like your steak done?"

At the question, Leo tilted his head as if the man had suddenly started speaking another language, and he looked at Hakyeon for help.

What? Does he not understand the question? Then it clicked. Oh, that's right. If Leo has spent most of his life in a lab, then there's no way he'd be familiar with something like that when asking for food.

Thinking on his feet, Hakyeon answered for him, "He'll take it medium-rare, please."

Onew's eyebrows shot up for a moment, surprised that Hakyeon was the one to answer. For a second, Hakyeon thought he was going to ask why Leo didn't answer, and he became worried because he didn't have a logical response ready.

But, instead of commenting on it, Onew simply nodded, "Alright. And what would you like for a side?" The waiter turned back to Leo.

"Um," Leo pondered for a moment, going through the list of sides he remembered from the menu before deciding. "The roasted vegetables."

Onew nodded in understanding, then looked at Hakyeon, "And for you, sir?"

The vet froze, having completely forgotten about coming up with his own order after helping Leo with his. Quickly, Hakyeon flipped open his menu and started scanning the page for something he would like. After a couple of seconds, Hakyeon realized that he was in such a panic that he wasn't even really reading the words his eyes glanced over, and he felt himself wither in embarrassment.

"He'll have the chicken caesar salad, without the croutons." Leo answered suddenly, and Hakyeon glanced up at the wolf man in astonishment. Not only did Leo's sudden confidence catch him off guard, but he also somehow managed to order him something he actually enjoys.

There's no way he knows me that well! We've only known each other for-what?- a week?

 Onew gave them a small bow, "Wonderful choices. I'll make sure your orders are made well." He turned to leave, but Hakyeon noticed that he hadn't written their order down.

"Um, excuse me," Hakyeon said hesitantly, and Onew turned back to him. "Don't you need to write down our order?"

The pink-haired man shook his head with an unfaltered smile, and he tapped his finger lightly at his temple as he replied, "I've got it all up here. One steak, medium-rare, with roasted vegetables, and a chicken caesar salad without croutons. But, if it makes you feel more comfortable, I'll write it down." Onew brought his hands forward from behind his back, holding a note pad in his left and a pen in his right.

Hakyeon wondered where the waiter was keeping them, seeing that he wasn't wearing an apron nor did he seem to have any pockets. But he let his thoughts slide as he shook his head, no longer having any doubt in the man's abilities.

Flashing his trademark smile, Onew let his arms fall down to his sides and bowed again. He then turned around, strolled to the back of the dining room, and disappeared through a pair of swinging doors leading into what Hakyeon assumed was the kitchen.

Now that their orders were taken, Hakyeon's mind drifted back to the situation at hand. The vet closed his eyes and sighed, still not able to think of any way out of the restaurant without getting caught.

"Hakyeon?" Leo's voice broke him from his thoughts again, and he opened his eyes to meet Leo's concerned gaze. "Should I not have ordered that for you? Did you want something else?"

Hakyeon smiled gently, finding the wolf man's misplaced concern adorable, "No. I'm glad you ordered for me, because I'm pretty sure I would have taken all night to make my decision."

The corners of Leo's lips twitched up in the smallest indication of a smile, and his eyes softened with relief. 

God, he really is too adorable. Hakyeon thought to himself as he played absent-mindedly with his fork, nudging it centimeter by centimeter across the table's surface. There's no way I can let the suits get a hold of him. He doesn't deserve to go back there.

"But the real question is," Hakyeon continued, turning serious again. "How are we going to get out of here without the suits catching us?"

Leo cast his eyes down to the table, and a gloomy expression flashed across his face, "I don't think we can. Not this time."

Hakyeon's eyes widened, shocked by the sad, defeated tone in his voice. His mouth soon fell open in horror he heard the words that followed.

"But I think I can hold them off long enough for you to get away." Leo looked at Hakyeon with steely determination. "I promise, I'll make sure you escape. It's the least I can do after all you've done for me-"

"No." Hakyeon interrupted, firmly.

"Hak-" Leo was about to argue, but again he was cut off by the vet.

"I won't let you do that. You've already suffered enough under their hands, so if anyone is going to be caught by them tonight, it's going to be me. I'll distract them, you get away."

The wolf man shook his head almost violently in refusal, "No way. I've already lived most of my life in the lab, so I know I can handle it. You wouldn't be able to. I'd rather die than let them take you." His hands gripped the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turned white.

"And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I left you behind." Hakyeon shot back, also gripping the table.

Both men were leaning forward, glaring at each other. Neither one of them willing to cave into the other, and the argument continued.

"I didn't let you stay in my apartment, feed you, or spend hours taking care of your wound, only to let you get taken back to that place," Hakyeon growled through clenched teeth.

"And I'm not going to repay you by letting them hurt you instead of me." Leo stated, kicking his chair back as he stood up to tower over the vet.

Hakyeon quickly shot up to his feet as well, slamming his hands on the table as he shouted, "I don't want you to repay me! I want you safe!"

"I'll never be safe!" Leo raised his voice for the first time, stunning Hakyeon. "No matter how well I hide or blend in with society, I'm never going to be safe! It's just a matter of time before-"

"Gentleman."

The two men aimed their glares at Onew, who stood by their table with an expression absent of his constantly warm smile. Instead, he wore a stern frown, and his eyes bore holes into them. Hakyeon looked around, and realized that the surrounding customers in the restaurant were also staring at them.

"What seems to be the problem?" The waiter asked, his tone calm yet taut with authority. 

Hakyeon lowered his gaze and cleared his throat, embarrassed by his own behavior.

"I'm sorry, sir. We were just having a small disagreement." The vet answered politely and honestly, not wanting to upset the pink-haired man even more than they already have.

"I can see that," Onew responded, his eyes darting back and forth between the two. He then noticed the other customers' stares, and turned to them with his usual friendly grin as he announced, "Don't worry everyone! Everything's fine, so you can carry on with your meals in peace."

Immediately, every table returned their attention to their food, and chatter filled the room once again. A few people's stares lingered on them for a little bit longer before they, too, tore their gazes away.

Onew sighed, and placed gentle hands on Leo's and Hakyeon's shoulder as he said kindly, "Please, sit back down. Your food will be ready shortly."

Leo and Hakyeon met each other's hard gaze, wishing they could settle their disagreement. However, they reluctantly sat back down in their chairs according to Onew's suggestion, knowing they've already made a scene.

The waiter's expression brightened right back up, "Thank you." He glanced to the front of the restaurant, "It seems to have gotten quite dark ou

Please log in to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Kasou9
#1
Chapter 46: Hi i know its been a long time since you wrote this but anyway...i understand that you are no longer a starlight its sad but things like that hapoen to every fan ..... i also know that a lot of people love this story just like me and honestly i really want a happy ending for this the main reason is jonghyun because i only started reading this this week and when i first saw his name i was really sad he was in the fic then i realised you wrote this in 2015 _2016 and as the story went on i couldn't help but somehow just wish this would end happily because jonghyun is alive here and he gets to live and be happy in the end idk its weird to think that way but i felt glad he was in the fic and i was grateful to you but like
Dont remove him please it would be too sad at least like this remember him from time to time ppl will remember him while reading this fic i would really want to see the rest of the fic but its your choice after all and in case you dont finish it i still wanna thank you for the story it was lovely and thank you for sharing our love for vixx and shinee even if it ended somehow ♡
BlingBlingTiger
#2
Chapter 46: I think you need to do what you feel is best for you. We all need time to grieve and come to terms with what happened. I cried for days when I got the news and it feels like a part of me has been ripped away. I understand you not wanting to continue with him as a character in the story.
As for VIXX... Everyone has different opinions and ways of seeing things and dealing with situations...personally, when I see them exhausted and struggling, I worry about them, I want to lift some of the burden somehow. I want to tell them to rest and take care of themselves, but I also want to tell them to keep doing their best. I believe that VIXX and Starlights are a unit together and that it's our job to support and encourage each other. I love them all so, so much and their well-being (physically, mentally and emotionally) is of the utmost importance to me and so I worry a lot but I am also immensely proud of them. They always do their best and work hard to be the best that they can be while showing their appreciation for Starlights and I find that really admirable. Even exhausted, they give it their all to show their fans something amazing because they love Starlights and their passion for what they do is boundless. Seeing their determination despite the difficulties they face just makes me love them even more. To be honest, I could never abandon them like that. Leaving them because they were tired... is not a good reason. It's a shame that you couldn't grasp the immense effort they put in to show you a good performance.
Do what you want with the story and don't continue if you really can't, but please try to be more understanding of others in the future. We are all human beings and it is imperative to remember that they are humans too.
SuperShinee2pm2ne1 #3
Chapter 46: I think you should still continue writing the story. Though I understand the point about Jonghyun and with that I think you can 3 things with his character. The 1st option is to keep writing it with him in it, 2nd option is to exchange someone from another group with him and take the time to rewrite his parts to fit said new character and the 3rd option is to remove home out of the story completely. I personally would be sad if you take his character out but it's not my story to say any of the final stuff regarding the story. What ever you end up doing I'll respect it.
lunaticJTW
#4
Chapter 1: Whoa Taek calm ur
shuzyah
#5
Chapter 46: I am fine with not reading Jonghyun in the story for the time being, as it will hurt for the fans, and it will be tough for you too since you are questioning it. As for supporting VIXX.. considering what happen to Jonghyun, everyone r humans, including VIXX & yourself. If u need to stop the story, or keep it on hitaus, or continue, it is totally up to u, and i will support u & respect ur decision.
JungHyunRi
#6
Chapter 46: Hi authornim.. Finally u are back.. Or atleast have inform ur whereabouts..
1stly.. I am very agree with ChaYuume comment bellow..
Its up to u.. If u want to resume this story or not.. If u alr lost interest abt this story.. Bcz If u keep write this story.. U'll feel burden in fact.. U also can't give soul to ur story..
2nd abt ur experience in VIXX concert.. Well
I have my own experience for VIXX in SEA last July.. And truth to be told as ChaYuumee said.. We can't decide that some idols not give them all to fans (I telk this not only in name of VIXX but every idol in general)
Yepp u must be known that before VIXX have a concert at ur country, they alr had many scheduled they done.. And don't u think they stamina and energy almost zero? But they keep their scheduled over ur country.. If that not a way of their act to show Starlight Canada how they really appreciate ur invite?

Truth be told.. I alr attend Super Show concert in my countries for 5 times.. And the 2 times I attend were SS4 when they held 3 days a row in my country.. And they seriously exhausted at the 2nd day (1st day I attend the concert) And when I attended the last days (I atrended the 2nd and 3rd days).. They looked so hype and excited.. Maybe bcz that day is their last so they could rest.. And they really gave their all out energy in the final days..

Its humanly abt idol tho..

So If u seriously thinking,u couldn't be a starlight anymore just bcz of ur 1st experience,, well sorry to say.. Im a little bit disappointes with ur fell tho.. Huhu..

If u told them not give their all just bcz of ur guessing abt they weren't as excited as the fans there.. Its not wise for them too.. ㅠㅠ
Sorry..
edrylla_Dya #7
Chapter 46: I love this story. I love it's character. I hope the characters stays until the end. But if it's hard for you, I can understand. Thank you for your hard work author-nim

In the light of Jonghyun's passing and in the light of your experience to VIXX concert. Shinee is forever one of my favourite group. They're the second one after tvxq. When I love a group, that's mean no picking biases because I love them all. It tattered me very much, as a person who's much less experiencing the same mental illness. He could have a better future but maybe this is the best for him. And VIXX is, we can see from their schedule how packed it is. Entertaining people seem easy because we're watching without experiencing. Somehow, I hope you still love them the same.

-for we're neither immortal nor invincible-
verse2wo
#8
Chapter 46: While I would like for this story to continue, I understand why you would want to stop.
In light of recent events, it would be a different story without Jonghyun.
I wish you well and support whatever choices you make.
ChaYuume
#9
Hello~!☆
So, first of all...
Your story is one of the best I ever read, the suspense and all were really... Overwhelming?
Anyway thank for writing such a story.
But, if you feels like you can't continue to write it, I think we can all understand it.
It's true that only you knows what future you had reserved to the characters of this story, and with Jonghyun's passing, I understand that it's harder, knowing also what the story is about.
Whether we are fans or not, it affect us all. We all knows who Shinee are, their songs, they had a major impact on kpop.
Even if it's in different ways, even if we dont have the same way to cope with that, to mourn, or whatsoever, it'll leave an impact on all of us.
(It's still a sensible point, I'll move on...)

Secondly, concerning your experience at VIXX's concert.... Well...They are humans.
You can't expect idols to always give it their all when they are exhausted or feels down, even if they are trying it could also not works sometimes. You can't say that they dont care for their fans, not after all they do FOR their fans. Even over their exhaustion, Idols gives you a good performance, even if they're feeling down or aren't in the mood, they take over themselves.
Say, when you are exhausted, are you in a state where you can do anything else aside from resting?
So why would it be different for idols, they are not robots. They push themselves and push their problem asides for the sake of their carreer. For the sake of their own health. The recent situation is sadly the proof of that.
You don't know what is really happening in their lives, they all have their own problems, whichever idol it can be.
And, with all that we know about Korea's idol industry,...

With all of that said, if you lost your motivation over this concert experience and the loss of Jonghyun; if you don't want to continue this story, I think that it's better to just stop it there (even if, I'm sure, we would have liked a proper ending).
In the end, its your story, we are your readers; as long as you feels good with your decision, we must respect it.

Thanks for your hard work~*