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In Search of Meaning
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Hakyeon heard the loud screeching of the fire alarm through the phone, and he looked out the taxi window to people already evacuating the apartment building. 

"Hyung," Wonsik spoke, panic beginning to lace his voice. "What should we do?"

The vet bit his bottom lip, his mind running a mile a minute trying to decide which action is best to take in this situation. He glanced at the building again, and he seemed to have made up his mind when he saw that larger groups of people were flowing out from the doors.

"Stay in the apartment," Hakyeon commanded, unbuckling his seatbelt. "I'm coming up."

Without waiting for the musician's response, Hakyeon hung up his phone. He turned to Leo when he heard the wolf man unbuckling as well.

"Leo," Hakyeon said as firmly as he could, although his voice shook a little from anxiety. "I need you to stay hidden here, while I go get them. If the suits are in the building, there's still a chance that they haven't found Wonsik and the others. Also, I don't want to risk them catching you on my way up. Do you understand?"

Leo exhaled tensely through his nose, and glanced at the mass of people gathering outside the building before giving Hakyeon a curt nod.

"Um..." The taxi driver-Changsub if Hakyeon remembered right- made eye contact with Hakyeon through the rearview mirror, and asked, "Do you want me to stay here, then?"

Hakyeon gave Changsub an almost apologetic look as he answered, "Yes. I'm sorry, but I'll try to come back out as soon as possible."

"Oh, it's no problem," Changsub said with a shake of his head. "I just wanted to make sure that's what you wanted me to do."

"Thanks," Hakyeon bowed his head slightly in gratitude before flinging his door open and stepping out of the cab.

"Wait! Are you sure you should-" Changsub was cut off when Hakyeon slammed the door shut, and took off to the building. "Go in there...?" Changsub finished his question futilely, and turned around to face Leo. 

Leo shifted awkwardly in the back seat, feeling uncomfortable with being left in a cab alone with a stranger.

"So..." Changsub began, wanting to fill the awkward silence. "Have you ever heard of the Born to Beat Bars?"

 

~  ~  ~

 

Wonsik stuffed his cell phone into his back pocket after Hakyeon hung up on him. He walked back towards Hyuk and Hongbin, who were both waiting nervously at the bedroom door.

"Hyung, what's going on?" Hyuk asked, leaning into Hongbin's side when the cyborg placed a comforting arm over his shoulders.

The musician sighed out of stress, and scratched the back of his head as he replied, "The suits are here. They're probably in the building."

Hongbin's eyes widened and he pulled Hyuk tighter against him.

"Hakyeon-hyung is on his way up," Wonsik continued to explain. "He wants us to stay here until he arrives, but I don't feel so good about that."

"Then, what should we do?" Hyuk questioned, growing more scared with each passing second.

Wonsik turned to look back at the front door, then glanced into the bedroom to see Jaehwan's sleeping figure on the bed. He then looked at the window leading to the fire escape, and he decided.

"Okay," Wonsik ran his hands over his face out of anxiety. "Hongbin, I want you to carry Jaehwan and wait with Hyuk by the fire escape. I'll wait at the front door for Hakyeon. If something goes wrong, like if the suits find us, I want you three to just get out of here."

"What about you?" Hyuk asked in concern.

"I'll hold them back for as long as I can." Wonsik replied, although he didn't feel very confident about his ability to do so. When he saw the doubting looks from the other two, he added, "And don't pull any hero crap. If you two are really my friends, then you'll do your best to get Jaehwan out of here safely. Got it?"

Even though they were reluctant, Hyuk and Hongbin nodded in understanding. Without another word, Wonsik turned around and walked back to the front entrance while Hongbin left Hyuk's side to get Jaehwan. 

The cyborg paused at the edge of the bed, looking the winged man over.

How am I supposed to carry him without revealing his wings to the public? He asked himself. When Jaehwan stirred and clutched the thick blanket closer, an idea popped up.

Quickly, Hongbin lifted the covers slightly to check and make sure that Jaehwan's wings were folded comfortably against his back. Then, he moved Jaehwan's legs so they were hanging over the side of the bed.

"Hyuk, come help me with this," Hongbin called out, and within seconds the younger was at his side.

"What do you need me to do?" Hyuk asked, watching as Hongbin lifted Jaehwan up so he was sitting. He was surprised the winged man hadn't woken up, but, then again, he must have been completely drained after his episode that day.

Holding Jaehwan up by keeping his hands on his shoulders, Hongbin replied, "I'm going to piggyback Jaehwan out, so I want you to hold him like this while I get in position to carry him."

Hyuk nodded, and placed his hands where Hongbin's were when the cyborg let go. Hongbin turned around, and knelt down on the floor. He scooched back so that each of Jaehwan's legs were at his sides, and Hyuk gently rested Jaehwan against Hongbin's back. 

"Put the blanket over him, and make sure his wings are still folded," Hongbin said as he wrapped Jaehwan's limp arms around his neck.

Following his order, Hyuk adjusted Jaehwan's wings a little when he noticed them falling open slightly. Then, he tugged the blanket up off the mattress, and rested the thick material over Jaehwan. When Hongbin felt the corners of the blanket brush against his arms, he reached up and pulled them forward to tie them loosely together. This way, when he lifted Jaehwan up, the blanket won't fall off right away. Also, the blanket acted as a sling to keep Jaehwan's wings closed and to keep them hidden from public eyes. 

When he felt the blanket was secure, Hongbin stood up with Jaehwan snug against his back. He leaned forward slightly to prevent the unconscious man from slipping off, and he bounced slightly to adjust his grip on Jaehwan's legs. 

"Good?" Hyuk asked, checking to see if there was any discomfort from either one of them.

Hongbin met the younger's eyes, and with a nod he walked out of the bedroom to the living room. Hyuk followed closely behind him, keeping an eye on Jaehwan just in case he started slipping from the cyborg's grasp.

Wonsik looked back over his shoulder, and felt relieved when he saw Hongbin carrying his boyfriend to the fire escape window like he had asked him to.

Knock!  Knock!  Knock!

He whipped his head back to the door at the sudden sound, and he cautiously leaned forward to peek through the peep hole, hoping it was Hakyeon on the other side. It wasn't.

Through the peep hole, he saw a broad shouldered man wearing a black baseball cap and brown leather jacket. The man wore a concerned expression, and when Wonsik didn't respond, he knocked again.

"Hello?!" The man shouted. "Is there anyone in there?! If there is, we need to evacuate the building! Everyone else is already evacuated from this floor!"

Assuming he was one of the apartment building's tenants, Wonsik unlocked the door and cracked it open just enough to poke his head through.

"We're just gathering some things together," Wonsik looked the man in the eye as he lied smoothly. "You go on ahead, and we'll be out shortly."

The musician tried to close the door, but a brown boot wedged itself into the opening. Wonsik gave the man a questioning look, feeling uneasy when his gaze met the man's determined eyes.

"I don't think you should delay anymore." The man said. Wonsik wasn't sure if it was just his imagination, but his tone seemed darker, almost sinister. "We should all leave together. Now."

 

~  ~  ~

 

Hakyeon felt sweat drip down his forehead as he elbowed his way through the mass of people toward the stairwell. He chose not to take the elevators, knowing that they were busy and full of tenants evacuating the building. The stairs were the faster option.

Taking three steps at a time, Hakyeon climbed the flights of stairs faster than he ever thought possible for himself. On the way up, he encountered a few other residents heading down, but other than that there was nothing blocking his way. However, when he rounded the corner to ascend to the third floor, he stopped and immediately flung himself back around the corner. 

Panting from exertion, he cautiously peeked out to look up at the suit that just came out from the third floor's door. The man spoke into the back of his wrist, and Hakyeon was unable to catch the words he was saying. Then, the suit carried on to march up the next flight of stairs.

Once the man was out of sight, Hakyeon raced up to the door that opened into the third floor hallway. Through the door's small rectangular window, Hakyeon saw that at the end of the hallway another suit entered through a door leading into the starwell on the opposite side of the building. Without wasting another second, Hakyeon turned to follow the first suit up the stairs.

 

~  ~  ~

 

Wonsik's heart rate sky-rocketed as he and the man in the leather jacket stared each other down. With each passing second, the softness in the man's features was slowly replaced by hard malice. Wonsik tightened his grip on the door knob, preparing to fight the stranger off. The silence between the two seemed to grow louder and more tense, until it reached its breaking point.

The musician grunted as he slammed into his front door with all his muscle and body weight, and the man mirrored his actions on the opposite side.

"Go!" Wonsik shouted to his friends, hoping they could get out before the man overpowered him.

For a few moments, they pushed at each other with equal strength, neither one of them giving in to the other. It was when a suit suddenly appeared behind the stranger and added his support that Wonsik's bare feet started slipping on the hardwood floor. Inch by inch, his front door was being forced open, and he knew it was a losing battle.

With one final push from the suits, Wonsik was falling back and the door flung wide open. Luckily, Wonsik was able to catch himself, so instead of falling flat on the floor he turned and took off toward his living room. He heard the stomping of boots following behind him, and just as he reached his living room he felt a heavy body collide with his back.

The two men tumbled down to the floor, and Wonsik twisted in order to push off the leather-jacket man. However, the man- which he now knew was a suit- caught his arms, and gathered his wrists into one hand, leaving the other free. He struggled with all his might to free his arms, but the man had a vice-like grip, almost inhuman.

Unable to defend himself, Wonsik couldn't stop the torrent of punches that pummeled into him. His head turned violently to the side with every powerful strike, and just the second punch had him seeing stars. After the third, the taste of iron flooded his mouth, and he felt his own blood drip down his face from cuts on his eyebrow and lips. 

At one point, he managed to sneak a glance at his front door, looking for the other suit. With mild relief, he saw that the other suit was also on the floor at the end of the hallway, with an angry Hakyeon wailing on him.

Then, with one final hit from the leather-jacket man, Wonsik's consciousness faded to black.

 

~  ~  ~

 

Hakyeon had followed the suit to the fourth floor- Wonsik's floor- and when he glanced through the small window like he did on the floor below, his stomach dropped with dread. At Wonsik's door, the suit and a man wearing a leather jacket were trying to force their way into the apartment. Judging by how much trouble they were having just to get in, he knew that the others were desperately fighting back.

The vet threw the door aside, and sprinted down the hall to help his friends. Halfway to the apartment, he saw the two men fall through the doorway, and he urged his legs to move faster. 

When he finally arrived, Hayeon charged through the doorway and tackled the suit to the ground. He was vaguely aware of the leather-jacket suit taking Wonsik down, but he kept his focus on plowing his fists into the man lying beneath him. For a while, Hakyeon was able to get multiple good hits in.

However, the suit twisted and man

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Kasou9
#1
Chapter 46: Hi i know its been a long time since you wrote this but anyway...i understand that you are no longer a starlight its sad but things like that hapoen to every fan ..... i also know that a lot of people love this story just like me and honestly i really want a happy ending for this the main reason is jonghyun because i only started reading this this week and when i first saw his name i was really sad he was in the fic then i realised you wrote this in 2015 _2016 and as the story went on i couldn't help but somehow just wish this would end happily because jonghyun is alive here and he gets to live and be happy in the end idk its weird to think that way but i felt glad he was in the fic and i was grateful to you but like
Dont remove him please it would be too sad at least like this remember him from time to time ppl will remember him while reading this fic i would really want to see the rest of the fic but its your choice after all and in case you dont finish it i still wanna thank you for the story it was lovely and thank you for sharing our love for vixx and shinee even if it ended somehow ♡
BlingBlingTiger
#2
Chapter 46: I think you need to do what you feel is best for you. We all need time to grieve and come to terms with what happened. I cried for days when I got the news and it feels like a part of me has been ripped away. I understand you not wanting to continue with him as a character in the story.
As for VIXX... Everyone has different opinions and ways of seeing things and dealing with situations...personally, when I see them exhausted and struggling, I worry about them, I want to lift some of the burden somehow. I want to tell them to rest and take care of themselves, but I also want to tell them to keep doing their best. I believe that VIXX and Starlights are a unit together and that it's our job to support and encourage each other. I love them all so, so much and their well-being (physically, mentally and emotionally) is of the utmost importance to me and so I worry a lot but I am also immensely proud of them. They always do their best and work hard to be the best that they can be while showing their appreciation for Starlights and I find that really admirable. Even exhausted, they give it their all to show their fans something amazing because they love Starlights and their passion for what they do is boundless. Seeing their determination despite the difficulties they face just makes me love them even more. To be honest, I could never abandon them like that. Leaving them because they were tired... is not a good reason. It's a shame that you couldn't grasp the immense effort they put in to show you a good performance.
Do what you want with the story and don't continue if you really can't, but please try to be more understanding of others in the future. We are all human beings and it is imperative to remember that they are humans too.
SuperShinee2pm2ne1 #3
Chapter 46: I think you should still continue writing the story. Though I understand the point about Jonghyun and with that I think you can 3 things with his character. The 1st option is to keep writing it with him in it, 2nd option is to exchange someone from another group with him and take the time to rewrite his parts to fit said new character and the 3rd option is to remove home out of the story completely. I personally would be sad if you take his character out but it's not my story to say any of the final stuff regarding the story. What ever you end up doing I'll respect it.
lunaticJTW
#4
Chapter 1: Whoa Taek calm ur
shuzyah
#5
Chapter 46: I am fine with not reading Jonghyun in the story for the time being, as it will hurt for the fans, and it will be tough for you too since you are questioning it. As for supporting VIXX.. considering what happen to Jonghyun, everyone r humans, including VIXX & yourself. If u need to stop the story, or keep it on hitaus, or continue, it is totally up to u, and i will support u & respect ur decision.
JungHyunRi
#6
Chapter 46: Hi authornim.. Finally u are back.. Or atleast have inform ur whereabouts..
1stly.. I am very agree with ChaYuume comment bellow..
Its up to u.. If u want to resume this story or not.. If u alr lost interest abt this story.. Bcz If u keep write this story.. U'll feel burden in fact.. U also can't give soul to ur story..
2nd abt ur experience in VIXX concert.. Well
I have my own experience for VIXX in SEA last July.. And truth to be told as ChaYuumee said.. We can't decide that some idols not give them all to fans (I telk this not only in name of VIXX but every idol in general)
Yepp u must be known that before VIXX have a concert at ur country, they alr had many scheduled they done.. And don't u think they stamina and energy almost zero? But they keep their scheduled over ur country.. If that not a way of their act to show Starlight Canada how they really appreciate ur invite?

Truth be told.. I alr attend Super Show concert in my countries for 5 times.. And the 2 times I attend were SS4 when they held 3 days a row in my country.. And they seriously exhausted at the 2nd day (1st day I attend the concert) And when I attended the last days (I atrended the 2nd and 3rd days).. They looked so hype and excited.. Maybe bcz that day is their last so they could rest.. And they really gave their all out energy in the final days..

Its humanly abt idol tho..

So If u seriously thinking,u couldn't be a starlight anymore just bcz of ur 1st experience,, well sorry to say.. Im a little bit disappointes with ur fell tho.. Huhu..

If u told them not give their all just bcz of ur guessing abt they weren't as excited as the fans there.. Its not wise for them too.. ㅠㅠ
Sorry..
edrylla_Dya #7
Chapter 46: I love this story. I love it's character. I hope the characters stays until the end. But if it's hard for you, I can understand. Thank you for your hard work author-nim

In the light of Jonghyun's passing and in the light of your experience to VIXX concert. Shinee is forever one of my favourite group. They're the second one after tvxq. When I love a group, that's mean no picking biases because I love them all. It tattered me very much, as a person who's much less experiencing the same mental illness. He could have a better future but maybe this is the best for him. And VIXX is, we can see from their schedule how packed it is. Entertaining people seem easy because we're watching without experiencing. Somehow, I hope you still love them the same.

-for we're neither immortal nor invincible-
verse2wo
#8
Chapter 46: While I would like for this story to continue, I understand why you would want to stop.
In light of recent events, it would be a different story without Jonghyun.
I wish you well and support whatever choices you make.
ChaYuume
#9
Hello~!☆
So, first of all...
Your story is one of the best I ever read, the suspense and all were really... Overwhelming?
Anyway thank for writing such a story.
But, if you feels like you can't continue to write it, I think we can all understand it.
It's true that only you knows what future you had reserved to the characters of this story, and with Jonghyun's passing, I understand that it's harder, knowing also what the story is about.
Whether we are fans or not, it affect us all. We all knows who Shinee are, their songs, they had a major impact on kpop.
Even if it's in different ways, even if we dont have the same way to cope with that, to mourn, or whatsoever, it'll leave an impact on all of us.
(It's still a sensible point, I'll move on...)

Secondly, concerning your experience at VIXX's concert.... Well...They are humans.
You can't expect idols to always give it their all when they are exhausted or feels down, even if they are trying it could also not works sometimes. You can't say that they dont care for their fans, not after all they do FOR their fans. Even over their exhaustion, Idols gives you a good performance, even if they're feeling down or aren't in the mood, they take over themselves.
Say, when you are exhausted, are you in a state where you can do anything else aside from resting?
So why would it be different for idols, they are not robots. They push themselves and push their problem asides for the sake of their carreer. For the sake of their own health. The recent situation is sadly the proof of that.
You don't know what is really happening in their lives, they all have their own problems, whichever idol it can be.
And, with all that we know about Korea's idol industry,...

With all of that said, if you lost your motivation over this concert experience and the loss of Jonghyun; if you don't want to continue this story, I think that it's better to just stop it there (even if, I'm sure, we would have liked a proper ending).
In the end, its your story, we are your readers; as long as you feels good with your decision, we must respect it.

Thanks for your hard work~*