“Binnie,” Hak-yeon cried as he cradled the younger boy in his arms, not having let the other go for over half an hour since he and Hong-bin had arrived home. “My little Binnie…”

Taek-woon had originally planned on going out alone, which would not have required him to tell Hak-yeon where he was going. He hadn’t thought about telling him even when Hong-bin had demanded to come along, though in hindsight he probably should have. Hak-yeon looked like a nervous wreck when they finally got home, pulling Hong-bin into a death hug the moment he saw them.

Taek-woon waited until Hak-yeon had finally quieted before going over to him with a glass of water, the other having cried his throat raw. However, the moment he held the glass out, he was met with a vicious glare, Hak-yeon’s hands tightening until Hong-bin gasped.

“How could you do this to him, Jung Taek-woon?” he hissed, voice shaking. “How could you even think of bringing him outside?”

“He wanted to come,” Taek-woon replied gently, leaning down and placing the glass next to him. Hak-yeon’s eyes shifted to the glass before back to him, a hint of confusion in his eyes. “We went to meet Saet-byul. I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

“M-meet…?” Hak-yeon’s arms went completely limp at the mention of Saet-byul’s name, finally letting Hong-bin wiggle himself free enough to turn to face him.

“Yes hyung, Bin and Taek-woon hyung went to meet Saet-byul. Bin made sure she stopped hurting you.” He beamed proudly at the other, waiting to hear his praise, but none came. Hak-yeon sat completely silent, his face crest-fallen as if trying to process the information. Hong-bin seemed to notice his reaction, pulling his arms out and wrapping them gently over the elder’s shoulders, resting his cheek on the other’s collarbone. “But hyung,” he whispered, almost as if he didn’t want Taek-woon to hear, “Taek-woon hyung knows.”

“What?” Hak-yeon screeched, shoving Hong-bin away as he scrambled out of the bed, dry-heaving as he slammed himself against the opposite corner of the room, slapping the wall as if trying to escape. When his hands were red and his screams piercing, he slowly turned around, eyes locked on Taek-woon. His whole body trembled as he stared at them, his face absolutely devastated. Hong-bin matched his expression completely, shaking his head and grabbing at his hair.

“I’m sorry hyung, I’m really sorry. Bin wanted to keep his promise, but Taek-woon hyung was going to take me home if I did. Bin tried to stop but Saet-byul told him. He knows. He knows…”

“No,” Hak-yeon sobbed, slowly sliding to the floor as he buried his head in his knees, covering his head as if trying to hide away. Taek-woon watched as Hak-yeon started to sob loudly and painfully, each sob racking and shaking his entire body. He felt his heart break at the sight of his friend, his eyes honing in on all the scars peeking out from under his sleeves. He took in each puckered mark, his breaths heavy as he saw how the skin darkened and twisted unnaturally, each one larger than the next.

Blinking heavily to stop the tears from spilling, Taek-woon took tentative steps forward until he stood in front of the crying mess that was his friend. Swallowing, he knelt down until he was eye level with the other, smiling bitterly when he didn’t make any movement to acknowledge him. “Hak-yeon,” he breathed, voice almost inaudible.

Hak-yeon flinched as he looked up at him, his eyes bloodshot. “No…” he blubbered, “not you Taek-woonie. Not you...only you. Only you.” He waited patiently for the other to string his thoughts together, making sure not to do anything that might cause him to shut down completely. “You...I don’t care if anyone else knows, but you can’t. You can’t know about the doll. You can’t.”

Taek-woon silently reached over and tenderly lifted Hak-yeon’s hands out of his hair, kneading the back of his hands with his thumb. The gentle movement was enough, Hak-yeon’s cries slowly quieted as he watched him. Eventually his breathing slowed enough until he was able to stop shuddering, the tears on his cheeks drying. “Hak-yeon…” He slowly moved his thumbs up Hak-yeon’s hands until getting to his wrists. He tried pushing his sleeves up but Hak-yeon panicked, yanking his hands away to pull them back down.

“No…”

“Hak-yeon,” he repeated, taking his hands again and swiftly pulled his sleeves up to reveal each and every scar that decorated his friend’s beautiful tanned skin. It took every bit of willpower to not stare, to not marvel at how one human being could do something so utterly cruel to another. But staring would not do any good, so he forced himself to look back into his friend’s eyes, frowning when he saw how ashamed the other was. “There is nothing to be ashamed about Hak-yeon. You did nothing wrong.”

“I’m a doll,” he whispered, head resting against the wall in defeat, no longer having any energy to move.

“No you’re not. You’re Cha Hak-yeon.”

“No, that’s not me anymore. That’s not me.”

“Yes it is. You’re not there anymore. You’re with me now, and I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

Hak-yeon finally moved his head to look at him. “You can’t do anything. She can do whatever she wants to me and I have to do it, no matter what.”

“No you don't.” He placed a hand on one of the scars, the skin rough. “If she ever purposefully hurts you, I’ll stop her myself. I won’t let you get hurt again.” Hak-yeon stared at him in disbelief, almost as if he truly was unable to understand what he was saying. Taek-woon’s fingers clenched.

“I promise.”

--

He knew. Taek-woon knew. He knew he knew he knew he knew he knew he knew he knew he knew. He was never supposed to find out. Out of the whole entire world, Taek-woon was the only person who wasn't supposed to know. His beautiful and sweet Taek-woon...he couldn't know what he really was. He couldn't find out about the dolls. How could this have happened? How could his lovely Taek-woon have found out? How could Binnie have let this happen? How could he have let this happen? And then he saw. He couldn't stop him. He saw how damaged he was, saw the way she had left her mark on him. And he stared. He couldn’t stand the stares, how shocked he looked. He tried to squirm away, to hide them and never let anyone see them again, but Taek-woon wouldn’t let him.

Taek-woon was gentle with him, taking him to the bathroom to take a bath. He could tell from the way Taek-woon waited that he wanted him to take off his clothes. No, he didn’t want to. But his body didn’t listen to him, it never listened to him, and he found himself standing still as Taek-woon slowly peeled his sweater off of him. Taek-woon already had the bath ready, the steam cascading over his exposed skin; he felt himself climb into the tub, his body almost on autopilot as he felt the burning sensation from the hot water sting.

He tried to hide his scars, his ugly, ugly scars, lowering himself in the water so that only his head was visible. Taek-woon didn’t seem to mind, silent as he went on to wash his hair.

How much did he know? He knew he was a doll, he knew he was Saet-byul’s doll, but did he know about the basement? Did he know that she had tortured him because she wanted Taek-woon, that she had been ready to go and grab his precious Taek-woonie? Did he know that she had punched holes in his skin and strung him up like an animal, cutting him up and then sewing him back together? He couldn’t have, there was no way his Taek-woonie would be here, calmly helping him bathe if he knew.

He stole a glance at Taek-woon’s face, watching as he impassively cleaned his hair, and out of the corner of his eye noticed something peek in from behind the door. His Binnie, his little Binnie, stared at him guiltily, his head bowed and fingers gripping the door frame tightly. His sweet Binnie, he couldn’t be upset with him. For once, his body listened to him as he waved the younger over, and the bright smile that grew on Binnie’s face was enough to warm his numb heart. He could hear Taek-woon sigh quietly behind him as Binnie jumped into the tub with him, immediately leaning into his lap and pressing his face to his chest.

He hugged his Binnie tightly, leaning his cheek on the younger’s head, until he felt the other’s thick sweater. No, Taek-woon knew now. He had seen and felt his scars, he must feel Binnie’s too. “No, Binnie,” he said gently, pushing Binnie away and pulling off his sweater. Binnie squealed, ducking down in the water to try and hide himself and Taek-woon called his name hurriedly, surprised. He ignored Taek-woon, leaning forward and cupping Binnie’s cheeks in his hands, attempting to give him a smile.

“Taek-woon knows now. He knows what we are. Binnie, you don’t...we don’t have to hide now.”  Binnie still refused, shaking, so he moved over and comforted him, whispering sweet things until he eventually calmed down and slowly sat up. He waited for Taek-woon to continue cleaning them, wanting nothing more than to finish and hide away his skin again, but Taek-woon didn’t move. He wanted to turn around and ask him what’s wrong, to snap at him to stop staring, to do something, but his body refused to move. The only thing he was able to do was continue to comfort Binnie, running his hand through his hair and cupping his cheek.

Eventually Taek-woon moved, now going over to clean Binnie. He could see Taek-woon pause at the two scars on Binnie’s shoulders, the scars that had been the places where he had been chained to the wall. Binnie’s were worse than his from the many attempts he had tried to escape, his torn and ragged. But Taek-woon was sweet, not saying a word as he cleaned over the scars and his back, and Binnie was almost relaxing until Taek-woon tried to wash his arms. At that Binnie yanked himself away and flew to his arms, clinging onto him desperately. Taek-woon looked guilt-stricken, attempting to apologize, but it only scared Binnie further.

“It’s okay Binnie,” he soothed gently, knowing his voice was enough to calm the other down. “Taek-woonie won’t hurt you. You are safe.” He said this in a way almost to comfort himself, trying his best to appear okay while inwardly hating every second.

“C-can’t…” Binnie cried, stuttering, “Can’t...can’t look.”

“Shh, it’s alright. I’m here. I won’t let him hurt you.”

Binnie paused, his face conflicted, before he tentatively pulled away, his hands still shaking as he handed them over to Taek-woon. He watched as Taek-woon carefully handled his arms as he turned them over, a soft gasp escaping his lips when he revealed scars upon scars on Binnie’s arms. He knew Binnie was just as embarrassed of his arms as he was of his, his scars coming from his habit of cutting himself on the glass of his cage in an attempt to pacify Saet-byul’s mother. There were so many on his wrists that it appeared almost as one large mark, unable to tell where one ended and the next started.

“Hong-bin…” Taek-woon whispered, the skin with his thumb.

“Bad…” Binnie whispered back, his cheeks flushed as he kept his head low. “When Bin was bad...she made me. To save them...Bin did to save them.” He cooed as he cradled Binnie’s head, running his wet fingers through his hair tenderly. He hated seeing his soft Binnie cry, hated seeing him scared and filled with fear that he shouldn’t have anymore. “She liked. Stopped when Bin bled.” Taek-woon seemed to realize that if he didn’t do something Binnie would start panicking, retreating back into his terrifying memories, and finished their bath quickly.

He was relieved when he was finally able to put his clothes back on, turning his leadened eyes on Taek-woon as he the other tucked Binnie into bed. He stood completely still as he waited for Taek-woon to help him, his body not letting him move on his own, but Taek-woon didn’t seem to have that in mind.

“Hak-yeon,” he said in his soft voice, “I want to talk with you.” He didn’t say anything, his mind growing fuzzy the moment he started speaking. It was always like this, random times throughout the day his mind shutting down and him barely conscious of what goes on around him. It was growing more frequent now with the start of his fits, and it terrified him. Taek-woon seemed to think he was ignoring him, biting his lip as he scratched the back of his neck. “Alone.”

He nodded, and even that was a feat. He could feel Taek-woon take his hand and lead him out of the room, shutting the door and leading him to his own bedroom. They sat down on Taek-woon’s bed, and he could vaguely feel the other’s stare on him. “Hak-yeon...I want to ask you something.” He waited, letting Taek-woon take his time. “Your mother...can you not see your mother because of...of the doll?”

His eyes snapped wide open, the haze vanishing as he stared at the other in shock at the mention of his mother. “M-my...my mother?”

He nodded. “My mother wants to try something to help you see your mother. I don’t know how you’ll react-”

“Yes. Yes Taek-woonie. Let me see her.” He fumbled as he tried to grab his hand, wanting to show Taek-woon how desperate he was. He eventually just grabbed his sleeve, squeezing it tightly. “Anyway you can.”

Taek-woon hesitated. “Will you hurt yourself?”

“No,” he said quickly, wishing he could raise his voice above the monotone he was forced to speak in. “I just can’t be in the same room with her. Please...please Taek-woon.” Taek-woon nodded, silent for a while. Finally,

“Is it because of your doll?” He didn’t want this conversation. He struggled, feeling as if he was pushing against a wall as he pried his fingers away from the other. He could hear how the other hesitated when speaking about the doll, a hint of disbelief in his voice, and he wanted nothing more than to hide away. “Hak-yeon, I won’t treat you any different because of this. You’re still my friend.”

“Friend…” he whispered bitterly. How can he be friends with him? “I can’t…”

“Why not?”

“I can’t. Friends...family...I can’t have them. I’m a doll. I’m only good for Saet-byul.” That wasn’t what he thought, that wasn’t what he wanted, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted Taek-woon. He wanted Binnie. He wanted to live with them normally and happily, but he knew that was impossible. He was a doll, a doll meant to take whatever pain that was inflicted on his doll.

“No you’re not. You’re friends with me and Hong-bin. You can.”

He felt the prickling of tears at the edges of his eyes, a foreign feeling, and suddenly he felt Taek-woon’s strong arms wrap around him. It was warm, he wasn’t the one on the receiving end of hugs often, and he felt himself lean into the touch as the tears freely rolled down his cheeks. “Taek-woon,” he whimpered, his hands shakily lifting and hugging back, “Taek-woonie…”

“I’m here. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, “thank you.”

They stayed that way for the longest time, him reveling in the warmth, when Taek-woon eventually pulled away, and he inwardly whimpered. “There is something I promised to ask you about,” he said. Taek-woon paused, biting his lip again. “Saet-byul...Saet-byul says she wants to see you. If you don’t want to, I understand-”

“Let me see her.”

“What?”

"I need to see her." He had to see her. She was doing something to him, causing him to go into uncontrollable fits that made him hurt Binnie and Taek-woon. He was sure she didn’t know what she was doing, Saet-byul was unable to hurt even a fly, but whatever it was he had to stop it. That and...he wanted to check how his little Byullie was doing. He wasn’t sure how his body would respond to the sight of her, since it was less and less willing to do what he wanted, but he wanted to try. “I…” The fuzzy ring was back, and he found himself losing focus. “Her...see her. I want-” He stopped mid-sentence, his tongue heavy as lead.

It was as if someone had flipped a switch, his body no longer moving despite his every attempt to. He could hear Taek-woon sigh sadly, feel him reach over and fix his hair gently, see the saddened look on his friend’s face, but he could not do anything to help him. He felt his body lifted up, felt his knees buckle when Taek-woon tried to put his feet on the ground. He ended up being carried, taken back to his room with Binnie. He felt himself lied down and his arms moved on their own to wrap around Binnie, the younger boy instinctively leaning into his touch.

It was later in the night, his eyes still wide open and nowhere near tired, that he felt Binnie jerk awake in his sleep, crying desperately for him. He screamed, pleading to not hurt him or the others. Like always, he comforted the boy and, like always, they ran out of the room and jumped into Taek-woon’s bed, clinging onto him like a lifeline. It was only the strong presence of Taek-woon that allowed for the two of them to fall asleep and, with Hong-bin pressed to his front and himself pressed into Taek-woon’s back, they fell asleep.

Deep in his sleep, Taek-woon hummed as a hand reached over and comforted Binnie.

--

Taek-woon was jolted awake at the sound of his phone ringing, and he pushed away any sleepiness as he hurriedly grabbed it. Luckily neither Hong-bin nor Hak-yeon seemed to have heard it, sleeping away. He frowned when he saw who it was from, answering it right there. “Saet-byul?”

“Taek-woon oppa…” she said, and he noticed right away how cold her voice sounded. It was  eerily calm. “N...is N hurting right now?”

Almost immediately after she said that he felt Hak-yeon’s arms around his waist pull away, and Taek-woon rolled over the best he could to see Hak-yeon listlessly sit up, his normally dull eyes empty. He recognized the gaze instantly, and he yanked his other hand from Hong-bin’s death grip to tug at Hak-yeon’s sleeve. Hak-yeon hesitated from getting up, staring at his hand, before laying right back down and falling asleep.

He sighed softly, extremely grateful that it was only one of his small ones. He turned back to his phone and Hong-bin somehow managed to grab his hand again. “He’s fine now.”

“But he was hurting?”

“Not anymore. It wasn’t serious.”

It was silent on the other end for so long, only the sound of her even breathing coming through, and he was about to ask if everything was alright when she spoke again.

“I see. Thank you.”

And then she hung up.

Hello!

Things are settled here so I was able to finally get around to this update, though with work it'll be difficult to say when the next update will be. However, I was very excited to write this chapter, since it's the first one from Hak-yeon's point of view! I really missed writing him.

I'll hopefully have another update by the end of the month! So sorry that I can't update any sooner.