Sang-hyuk sighed sadly as he stared at his phone, swiping the lock screen for the hundredth time in the useless hope that somebody will have tried to call him. It had been over three weeks since Saet-byul had suddenly disappeared without a word, and over three weeks that everyone decided to abruptly cut off contact with him. Jae-hwan, Won-shik, even Hak-yeon-- he hadn't heard a single thing from any of them, left in the dark and ignored.

He had given Jae-hwan a few days before calling him, the elder having said he would go and check on Saet-byul. It had started with just a simple phone call, just a call to ask if he'd gone and if everything was okay. What had worried him was Jae-hwan didn't answer. Jae-hwan always answered his calls, regardless of where he was-- Sang-hyuk still blushed when he remembered the one time Jae-hwan had answered in the middle of a less than pleasant situation. He always answered and he always called. Always. Something had to have been wrong for him not to answer.

His one call quickly became multiple calls and hundreds of texts, and even that didn't do anything. He tried calling Won-shik, those two were attached in more ways than one, but all he'd gotten out of that was a quick text saying he was busy and wouldn't be able to answer his phone for a while.

He was worried out of his mind, yet no one bothered to try and reassure him.

No one tried .

His whole face lit up the moment he saw Taek-woon on campus, ignoring everyone's questioning looks as he bolted across the courtyard and nearly jumped on the elder's back. Taek-woon gave a small gasp in surprise as he whirled around, his eyes confused momentarily before he sighed softly.

"Hello, Sang-hyuk."

Sang-hyuk paused at the sight of Taek-woon, the elder looking so drained and sickly, and he wondered what was wrong. There were dark bags under his eyes as well as him being incredibly pale. "Are you alright?"

Taek-woon nodded, his eyes refusing to meet Sang-hyuk's. "I'm fine." Then he looked up with that focused, hard stare he always had and everything seemed normal again. "Is there a reason you decided to attack me today?"

His face flushed as he coughed to hide his embarrassment, shifting his bag awkwardly. "I was just excited to see someone I know. Everyone's been ignoring me lately."

"Everyone?"

"Yeah, Saet-byul's completely cut off contact with me, and Jae-hwan stopped answering my calls. Even Won-shik is ignoring me. I was starting to wonder if I'd done something." Taek-woon stiffened at the mention of Saet-byul's name, biting his lip, and Sang-hyuk narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You don't know anything about it, do you hyung? I can imagine Hak-yeon would know something about it. Has he talked to her?"

The way Taek-woon's face crumbled at Hak-yeon's name surprised him, and he wondered if they broke up or something. He wouldn't have put it past them to be secretly dating or something, they were just as bad as Jae-hwan and Won-shik at times. And those two weren't even dating.

Taek-woon shook his head, taking a second to collect himself before speaking. "Hak-yeon hasn't been with me for the past couple weeks. I...I don't know if he's seen her or not, but I doubt he has."

Sang-hyuk's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Wait, they've been ignoring you too?"

Taek-woon glared half-heartedly, sniffing. "Hak-yeon isn't ignoring me. He's just dealing with something that doesn't concern me."

He had to resist laughing at the other's indignant tone, keeping a straight enough face so as not to offend him. "So he's been ignoring you. Don't worry, you can join the club. I feel like I'm always the last to know things."

"It's not that they're purposefully not telling you. The things they're dealing with, you don't want to know Sang-hyuk."

"You always tell me that. But I can handle it. I'm just as capable of understanding and dealing with it as any of you." He hated the way Taek-woon looked at him, like a child, when Sang-hyuk was eighteen years old and perfectly capable of dealing with whatever secret they were hiding. If Hong-bin knew about it, then he could definitely handle it. Taek-woon continued as if he never spoke, his voice still soft and reprimanding.

"This is something that's meant to be between Hak-yeon and Saet-byul only, and while I found out by accident, it is something they'd like to keep that way."

"Well, Jae-hwan probably found out about it, if his random ignoring me has anything to do with it. I always hated him bothering me all the time, but this ignoring thing is definitely worse."

Taek-woon's eyes widened at that. "What do you mean?"

He hesitated at the other's harried tone, suddenly sheepish. "I was worried about Saet-byul, and asked him to check on her for me. I'm guessing he went, it's been about a week since he said he'd go." Taek-woon looked absolutely frightened, biting his lip and kneading his fingers. He was just about to ask if he was alright when the other gave him a quick goodbye and ran away. It took Sang-hyuk a few seconds before the anger hit him, and he frustratingly kicked a stone away as he headed straight home. 

Taek-woon.

Jae-hwan.

all of them.

Why was everyone ignoring him? Even Taek-woon, the only one he'd managed to get a hold of and that being pure chance, ran away. What the hell did he do that they're all doing this?

...he missed them.

He missed everyone.

--

"Won-shik!" Both men had tears in their eyes as his father engulfed him in a tight hug, patting his back lovingly. "Won-shik...you've grown up so much."

"Yeah...." he muttered, just as lost for words as he allowed his father, the man he had abhorred for so many years, hug him. As he felt the frail man before him cry happily, he couldn't help but remember all the times when he had been strong, strict-- standing above him with his cane in hand. Hitting him when he wasn't the perfect son he wanted. When he rebelled and resisted; this frail man had been the man Won-shik both hated and feared, and he just didn't know what to do when that very same man held him so tenderly, crying on him.

"I'm so sorry for everything Won-shik, I know you probably will never forgive me-"

Images of his father smashing his guitar, ripping all his sheet music and screaming as loud as he could flashed through his mind. The sound of his father cursing Jae-hwan, cursing how much of a screw-up and disappointment he was ringing in his ears. His answer was immediate.

"No, I can't." His father pulled away, regret and disappointment in his eyes. He quickly schooled his expression as he awkwardly reached out and fixed the dress shirt Jae-hwan insisted he wore. It probably made the old man proud, he was finally looking like the presentable son he always wanted.

"Are you going to move back home?"

His answer was immediate. "No, I'm living with a hyung of mine. I'd rather stay with him."

He expected his father to shout at him, order him to stay and to stay away from Jae-hwan like he had done so often in the past. But instead, the man just nodded his head, saying he should invite his hyung over and let him meet him-- the whole thing messed with his head. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

His father wasn't like this.

"You have to tell me everything that's happened to you the past few years. You moth--" his voice cut off as he choked back sudden tears, and it all made sense. "Your mother and I would love to hear about it." He let his father gently lead him to the family room, let him help him sit down on the couch. He shied away when his father attempted to sit next to him, and the man realized his mistake as he quickly sat down on the adjacent chair.

"I need to make a quick call to my hyung. I promised him I would call him if I was staying."

"Of course! Go ahead. But after you have to tell me everything. Your hyung can wait. We have all the time in the world." His father watched him the whole time he waited for the phone to ring, feeling embarrassed when Jae-hwan strangely hung up on him and having to look at his father's expectant face.

"He's busy."

"That's alright. You can invite him later, I would like to meet the man who took care of you all this time. As long as you come back, Won-shik."

"Won-shik oppa, this is my daughter." Won-shik stared in muted shock at the baby in Won-hye's arms. Won-hye had the softest of smiles on her face as she tenderly held the baby up for him to see, cradling its head as she kissed its cheek. The baby looked up at him with the widest, darkest brown eyes --Won-hye's eyes-- and he slowly reached over to brush it's eyelids.

It was so small and pink, a pile of squishy flesh, and it still hadn't sunk in that this was Won-hye's child. He tentatively poked its hand, inhaled sharply when it wrapped its tiny fingers around his thumb. Won-hye smiled, kissing the baby's head. "She's meeting her youngest uncle for the first time. Give her a kiss."

Hesitantly, he leaned over and pressed his lips to the baby's cheek. The baby made a few gurgling sounds before it smiled, the smile so pure and innocent and Won-shik couldn't help but smile back.

"I have to go, my hyung's in trouble."

"But oppa, you've just come back!"

"This is important. This hyung is the most important person in my life, I can't leave him." He didn't miss the hurt look that passed Won-hye's face, but he had no time to dwell on it. Jae-hwan was in pain and he didn't know how long he could keep him on the line.

"You'll come back?" Her voice was so small, scared.

"I will."

The first thing he heard when he came to was the sound of Jae-hwan's sobs, the other sounding so broken and distraught. He was so tired, his body so heavy and numb, but he blearily realized something was wrong. He had never been able to handle it when Jae-hwan cried, would go out of his way to beat whoever's it was that made his hyung cry. He tried to move to comfort him but found he couldn't, just the mere thought sending painful spikes up his side. He gasped in pain, and the sound was enough to silence Jae-hwan, the other shifting until he was right next to him.

"Won-shik? My god, Won-shik ah, can you hear me? W-Won-shik?"

"H-hyung...?" he groaned out, just the short word causing his throat to constrict painfully. He tried to remember what happened when a glimpse of Jae-hwan with a knife flashed in his mind. He cried out, unable to push the other away, and Jae-hwan panicked.

"I'm so sorry. Y-you know...you know Won-shik ah, you know I-I would never hurt you. You know that. I-I...she made me. Won-shik...I told you...I would never hurt you..." The words sounded like something that Jae-hwan had recited many times, his voice growing softer as he repeated the phrase like a mantra. He grabbed Won-shik's hands and brought them to his lips, kissing them frantically and repeatedly. Won-shik blinked his eyes, his vision blurry and he just couldn't figure out why, and Jae-hwan leaned in closer. His eyes were puffy and red, his face tear-stained.

"You know I would never hurt you..."

"Hyung...when did you...?" He stopped when images of Jae-hwan with a knife flashed in his head, stepping forward and shoving that knife into his side. He gasped as he moved to brush the stab wound, crying out frustratingly when his body refused to move. He looked back at Jae-hwan for help, though it looked like Jae-hwan was struggling to not break down, his whole face scrunched up as he sobbed, Won-shik's fingers still pressed against his lips. He cleared his throat to grab the other's attention.

"Hyung...Saet-byul, she-"

"She made me do it. I-I didn't want to, I w-would never. You know that, don't you Won-shik ah?" He started kissing his fingers again, shaking terribly. Won-shik wanted to stop him, to comfort him, but he couldn't move. His side was starting to throb. Jae-hwan suddenly threw down his hands, his body near convulsing as he cradled Won-shik's head in his arms, heaving as his fingers caressed his cheeks. "She wanted me to kill you...but I couldn't...I could never kill you Won-shik ah...I couldn't..."

"What do you mean Saet-byul...? She...is her brother really dead?"

"I-I don't-- I don't know. He used t-to be here but I think s-she killed him. She...Saet-byul's changed. I-I don't know what happened but..." Jae-hwan took a long, deep breath, his whole body trembling as he exhaled, "she's not the same."

Won-shik stared, the only thing he could do, watching as Jae-hwan continued to cry over him. He closed his eyes, the images of Jae-hwan stabbing him repeating over and over and over; he quickly snapped his eyes open again. Jae-hwan said he didn't do it, he would believe him. He...he wouldn't know what to do otherwise. "Hyung...my body-"

"You're a doll." Jae-hwan flinched at the sound of Saet-byul's voice, though Won-shik wasn't able to see her from where he lay. If he was laying, he couldn't tell. He could hear her walk over to them, could see her kneel down next to him. Jae-hwan whimpered at the sight of her, protectively pulling Won-shik closer to him when she tried to touch him. Won-shik frowned at Jae-hwan, too preoccupied at what could possibly have happened to his hyung over whatever Saet-byul was doing. "Ken...I can't help him if you don't let me see him."

"Ken...?" He looked confusedly at Jae-hwan when the elder slowly let go of him, crying all the while. Saet-byul didn't say anything as she quickly pulled his shirt up, her fingers ghosting over his stab wound. As he watched her clean his wound, her face emotionless and her movements robotic, he realized that something had changed in her. She was different.

"I can't call either of you by your real names anymore," she said without looking at him, flipping open what looked like a medical kit next to her. "He told me about being called Ken at the orphanage, so I decided to give him that name. He didn't seem to have a problem with it." Won-shik glanced over to Jae-hwan to see him avoiding looking at either of them, his shoulders hunched as he drew into himself. Won-shik wanted desperately to reassure him, wrap his arms around his shoulders and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But he couldn't. He couldn't and he still had no idea why.

"I'm going to have give you a new name too. You can think of something if you want. If not, Ken can think of something for you." She slapped on a bandage and pat it gently, sighing as she looked over at him, her lips pursed. "They're really upset you're here. I really wish Ken hadn't called you here. I didn't want to make anymore dolls."

"What the is a doll?" he growled, and she nearly rolled her eyes as she pulled out a handmade doll and jabbed a sewing needle into its arm. He yelped when he felt a stinging prick in his own arm, though she didn't allow him any time to register what happened.

"N doesn't like you, and frankly I don't either, but Ken begged me to keep you alive." Won-shik felt Jae-hwan grab his hand again.

"Did you...did you do this to Jae-hwan hyung?" Jae-hwan suddenly screamed, throwing his hands over his head as he shook. Won-shik panicked at the sight, wanted to do something for him, to stop whatever was scaring or hurting him, but his goddamn body just wouldn't move.

She waited until Jae-hwan was only whimpering silently, shaking her head. "I never wanted to. I had to because Ken walked in on me and another doll. I couldn't let him go." She put a hand on his shoulder, now addressing Jae-hwan. She actually smiled then, her voice light. "You can talk to him all you like. He won't be able to move for about a week, that's how long it took you. When you're hungry, you can get food from the fridge. You know where it is, right?" Jae-hwan nodded, edging away from her, and her smile dropped slightly.

"Where are you going?" Won-shik asked when she stood up, medical kit in hand. She hesitated, for a brief second the Saet-byul he knew appearing before being hidden behind the passivity she put up.

"I'm going to figure out how to fix this."

It was a while after Saet-byul left that Jae-hwan moved, shifting slightly by his side to check Won-shik's face. He ignored how intently Won-shik stared at him, focused on fixing his hair and running his fingers down the sides of his face. Won-shik parted his lips, his voice so soft and barely audible, "Hyung...could you help me sit up?"

Jae-hwan let out a small whimper as he immediately propped him up, each brush hesitant as if afraid to hurt him. He shifted him so he could lean against the wall, and Won-shik let out a small sigh as he rolled his eyes to look at Jae-hwan.

His hyung's face was gaunt, his skin glistening with sweat and his eyes bloodshot, his lips cracked and dry. From the messages Sang-hyuk had been sending him, Jae-hwan had been missing for a few days, and from what he could tell sitting right in front of him, it was obvious that  this had been going on even longer than that. Ignoring how his skin had faded to a sickly pale and his clothes were starting to hang limply off his body, Won-shik couldn't help but see how broken his beautiful hyung had become. The bright, sunny being that was Jae-hwan was gone, beaten and destroyed until only this emaciated husk was left.

"Hyung...how long have you been here?"

"I-I didn't mean it," Jae-hwan repeated, his eyes glossy and an indication he was long gone. His hyung wasn't here anymore. "She made me, she made me Won-shik ah...I would never hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't," he said, painfully patient. He looked down to see Jae-hwan's hands shaking, digging into his knees that were drawn up to his chest. Smiling softly, he whispered, "Hyung, could you take my hands in yours?" Jae-hwan paused, looking confused before slowly taking Won-shik's hand, and Won-shik noted how dry and rough the other's skin was. He wondered if Saet-byul was even feeding him.

"Could you take my hand and pat yours for me?" Again Jae-hwan looked confused, taking a few seconds before doing as told. It took him even longer to realize what he was doing, tears clouding his eyes.

"Hyung, I don't blame you. While she did a poor job explaining it, I understand enough to know she controlled you with that doll. I know you would never hurt me, you don't even need to explain it to me. I know you, hyung." Jae-hwan was sobbing again, his hands still holding Won-shik's. "Who I do blame is myself. I shouldn't have ignored my phone for so long. I had been so happy at home, I kept thinking you wouldn't be too upset if I waited just another day. I...if I had looked just once, just to check, I would have seen you were in trouble. I should have seen you were in trouble. I should have come-"

"N-no," Jae-hwan cut him off, his voice pathetically soft, "don't blame yourself Wonnie... I would never want you here. I...I hate myself for calling you. I shouldn't have called you. I made you come here-"

"You could have told me the world would've ended and I still would have come. Hyung, the moment I found out you were hurt it didn't matter anymore." Jae-hwan stared at him for the longest time, sniffling, before reaching over and pulling his head into a hug.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve having someone as amazing as you," he whispered sadly. "When my own parents couldn't stand the sight of me, when others couldn't be bothered to even look at me, I don't know what I could have done to deserve someone as perfect as you."

Won-shik wished he could hug him back, to let him know how wrong he was. Instead, he could only convey his feelings in words, though he knew there were no words that could express what he wanted. "You just being you is enough. Not the you that tries to please others, but the you that is just you." Jae-hwan let out a low, tired chuckle before pulling away, a hand accidentally brushing against his stab wound. Won-shik let out a faint hiss, gnashing his teeth.

"Hyung...do you know what's going on? What happened to Saet-byul?"

Jae-hwan just shook his head, his hands starting to shake again. "I don't know...I came to check on her. I opened the door and saw her hurting someone, screaming things before setting him on fire. I-I...I..." his voice trailed off, the memory terrifying him. "I-I was scared...I backed away when she saw me..."

"Hyung-"

"I woke up and couldn't move. She was crying over me, saying she was sorry and she didn't want to do it. She was afraid I would tell Hak-yeon what I'd seen."

"Hak-yeon? Why would-"

"Hak-yeon is a doll too."

Won-shik's mouth snapped shut as he let the words sink in, his whole body growing cold. Hak-yeon is a doll? Did that mean Hak-yeon woke up just like this, disorientated and wounded, bleeding out with his body frozen and a crazy girl hovering over him menacingly? Was that why Saet-byul was so obsessed with him? Was he her doll that somehow escaped? He remembered hearing from Sang-hyuk how Hak-yeon had abandoned Saet-byul the moment her mother was arrested, having run away the moment he was free. They had all thought Hak-yeon had been a coward and a bastard for leaving Saet-byul the way he did, but if he had been a doll...

He would have run too.

Jae-hwan nodded, noting his silence. "I know. It took me a moment too when I figured it out. It makes sense. They had been so close before, almost too close, and then he leaves suddenly. She probably made him like that, the way he was at the theater, to punish him. For running away."

His eyes widened. "She can do that?"

"She can do a lot of things. The things she does...it's terrifying Won-shik."

"When she said she can't say our names, was that...?"

Jae-hwan nodded, his eyes downcast again. "Yes. She...she did it to me many times. When she says your name, it's hard to describe. It feels as if every piece of you is stripped away, burned to the point it's searing, where your insides are ripped apart. It's so incredibly painful, yet not a single part of you is touched. It's all mental, but so real. It's terrifying Won-shik ah." He started crying again and Won-shik wanted to stop him.

He really wanted to rip Saet-byul apart, no matter how much the others adored her or whatever, he didn't forgive anyone who made his hyung cry. And she did more than that. Much more.

"Hyung, I'm here now. I won't let her hurt you anymore." Jae-hwan smiled, hiccupping as he held Won-shik's hand again, the touch seeming to calm him down some. Won-shik wanted to keep that smile, felt that amongst all this crazy and mindblowing that was crashing down all around him, Jae-hwan's smile was the one thing that was constant and normal. He needed it. Giving a smile of his own, he said gently, amiably, "Won-hye...she's a mother."

Jae-hwan's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? Is it a boy or a girl? Is it cute?"

There was the Jae-hwan he knew. He couldn't believe how much he missed and needed it.

"Yeah. A little girl. I...I still can't wrap my head around the fact that little Won-hye is a mother. She's about a year old."

Jae-hwan shifted closer, his eyes bright against the dark bags that hung under them. "Does that mean she married 'that bastard'?"

Won-shik paused, remembering bitterly of the time when his parents had brought a young man in and announced that he was going to be married to Won-hye, who at the time was only sixteen. The man was from an affluent family, and would only bring good fortune for the family. They were to be engaged, and when she turned eighteen would be married. Everyone was so happy, Won-hye especially, though he seemed to have been the only one to remember his sister was only sixteen. His disapproval was what eventually got him kicked out of the house, and Won-hye growling out that he was no brother of hers. The memory was unpleasant and something he wished he didn't have to think about, but it was true that even three years later they were still together and happy.

"I...yeah, they're married."

"I wish I could have seen her. You always talked about her, I would have liked to see her and the baby."

"I'll take you to see her someday, once we get out of here. My dad...it's as if he's a whole different person. He's okay with me studying music, can you believe it? He said he figured it out once my mom passed, that it was stupid to force me to be something I'm not. You...I could bring you there. I told him I was staying with a hyung of mine, and he said he would like to meet you-"

"Won-shik." He had gotten so excited he hadn't seen his hyung's face fall, hadn't seen the way Jae-hwan's eyes dimmed. "Saet-byul...what she did, I don't think there's a way out. You've seen Hak-yeon...there's no escape."

No...that can't be. Not after he finally reconciled, not after he finally was accepted at home. T-that...that couldn't-- "But-"

"She did this because she was scared I would tell Hak-yeon."

He was an uncle now, he had to go back. He remembered the feeling of the baby's hand clutching his finger, felt how strong it was despite being such a tiny little thing. Won-hye had been so happy, letting him hold the baby as she told him all about what he missed.

"Won-shik..."

His father had apologized, had held him in a tight hug as he promised that he would allow him to pursue whatever he wanted. He didn't need to study medicine any longer, he could do music or whatever else his heart desired.

As long as he came back home.

Jae-hwan hiccupped.

"...there's no escape."

Surprise update! ^0^

But no....you remember how only a couple chapters ago I kept talking about not taking a hiatus, and I'm going to keep updating? Well...I guess I've spoken too soon. I had one of the worst things someone with a laptop can imagine, and knocked over my glass of water all over my computer, and completely fried it. I was able to recover some things, but I've lost all the chapters I had already written. ;--;

I've got bits and pieces I managed to save on a thumb drive beforehand (hence this chapter) but there went weeks worth of writing-- poof. It's definitely devastating, and it will take me a bit to find time to rewrite them. Note now-- this does not mean I'm giving up on this story or discontinuing it. I will still see it to the end and will absolutely, definitely, without a doubt finish. It will just take me some time to write it again.

Also, updates won't be as frequent or possibly as long, since now I'll be updating after I finish a chapter (instead of like before, where I was actually at least 5-6 chapters ahead of the most updated chapter). Though I guess there is some positives that come out of it, since it means there'll be less chance of me spoiling.... ;--;

And I'm so sorry this A/N is so impossibly long. I just felt like I had to give an explanation for why I'm actually going on hiatus.

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