Warning: suicide, character death

Hak-yeon wasn't dead. There was no way Hak-yeon was dead. Not when he was sitting there, breathing, existing; he couldn't be dead. He refused to believe it. He refused everything.  

He refused to believe Sang-hyuk was dead. Even when he watched his body bleed out, Saet-byul trembling in Hong-bin's arms, he refused to believe. Sang-hyuk was still very much alive, just as sassy and crude in the way he would always innocently interrogate them. He remembered the bright-eyed, sparkling boy that would follow Hak-yeon and him around, so young and malleable as he clung onto everything they did. That boy had never lost his innocence, even when he snapped protectively around Saet-byul, still so loyal and gentle as he did his best to support and care for her. That innocence couldn't have been snuffed out, just like that, life wasn't that cruel. Something as pure and innocent as Sang-hyuk couldn't have been destroyed so brutally like that.  

It just couldn't have.  

So when Saet-byul cleaned the gallons of dried blood off Sang-hyuk's prone body, when she placed him on Hak-yeon's still lap, had Hak-yeon hold and cradle him—Taek-woon forced himself to believe he was just sleeping. Sang-hyuk couldn't be gone.  

"Don't look hyung, don't look," Won-shik whispered repeatedly, and Taek-woon sent the other a pitiful glance. Won-shik met his stare, sadly dipped his head before going back to patting Jae-hwan's back, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Jae-hwan had been inconsolable since Sang-hyuk's...attack, had buried himself deep in Won-shik's embrace and never come out. No matter what Won-shik said to the other, there was no response, only the sound of broken crying and heaving audible.  

Hong-bin was just as broken, though he never uttered a sound. He merely sat at the edge of his cage, hands unchained as he stared at Hak-yeon's immobile body, eyes empty and removed. No amount of Taek-woon calling him was able to garner a response, the poor boy so lost.  

Taek-woon refused to believe there was anything wrong, that Hak-yeon and Sang-hyuk were anything but asleep. He refused.  

Because if he allowed himself to believe anything else, he might just break as well.  

"You look so cold," Saet-byul cooed as she came down, a wide smile in place as she carried a pile of clothes, setting them down on the table. Hak-yeon fidgeted in the chair she had placed him in, his fingers around Sang-hyuk's body twitching in anticipation, the look of longing on his face palpable. She grinned at the sight of him, opening her arms wide and laughing, "Come here, N." 

Hak-yeon immediately threw Sang-hyuk to the floor as he scrambled over to Saet-byul's side, wasting no time wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair. His arms clenched tightly, holding her so possessively and wantingly, small whimpering sounds coming from deep in his throat. She breathed in deeply, devouring his scent, before pulling away, leaning her head back as Hak-yeon kissed her. They clung to each other, Hak-yeon’s lips pressed so deeply on hers, his eyes wide open as he cupped her face in his hands.  

Taek-woon looked away, his hands shaking, remembering the surprised, flushed look Hak-yeon had given him when he had kissed him. His eyes clouded at the memory, missing that sweet, bright Hak-yeon more than anything.  

Her face glowed when he finally pulled away, holding his hands happily before her eyes trailed down to Sang-hyuk's discarded body on the ground. She frowned. "N, you can't treat Hyukkie like that. You have to be gentle." She let go of Hak-yeon's hands, his hands falling listlessly by his side as he watched her, and knelt down to pick Sang-hyuk up, resting him against the armrest of the chair. His whole body shifted, the muscles having set in the cupped way he had rested in Hak-yeon’s arms, and Saet-byul let out a small cry as she tried to fix it. Her thumbs ran over the jagged cuts on his face, her shoulders shaking as she tried her best to smile.  

"You have to always treat Hyukkie nicely. You can't...you can't hurt him, okay?" 

Hak-yeon didn't answer, but she smiled up at him as if he did.  

When Sang-hyuk's body finally sat the way she wanted, she stood up with a loud sigh, hurriedly going over to the table and grabbing a shirt. She held it up for him to see. "You see this, N?" she asked, modeling for him as if Hak-yeon wanted to see. "This was the shirt my mother hemmed for you, remember? I found it upstairs!" She ran over and tugged off the shirt he was wearing, baring his tanned skin for everyone to see. 

Hong-bin whimpered, Won-shik cursing silently.

There, finally revealed for the world to see, were the millions of scars that littered his friend's thin body.  

The most obvious and prominent were the twisted, puckered scars that ran down his arms, going all the way from the ridges of his shoulders to the ends of his wrists. His waist and chest were littered with various scars, most small in size save for a long gash that ran from his neck to the base of his waist. Taek-woon remembered all the times Hak-yeon refused to take his shirt off, ashamed, and Taek-woon wanted to grab him in his arms and hold him tightly. He wanted so badly to tell Hak-yeon there was nothing to be ashamed of, that he did nothing wrong, that he was beautiful the way he was.  

Saet-byul wasn't unfazed by the sight either, her hands trembling as her eyes sadly looked over his body before tenderly putting the shirt over him. "We'll do something about the scars," she said softly as she did the buttons on his front. She paused over the one by his neck, tracing it gently. "I will never forgive myself for allowing my mother to do this to you. One day I'll fix you, clean you up and take away all these terrible marks."  

She finished buttoning his shirt, patting his chest gently. "Are you warm now?" she asked, and he stoically nodded, his eyes running over her. She hugged him quickly before pushing him back onto the chair, fixing his hair and checking him over to make sure he was perfect. With each brush of her fingers, each passing glance over his face, Hak-yeon leaned into her touch, his every movement craving each . The way he wanted her, the way he reveled in her attention; everything about his friend was gone, the only thing left being Saet-byul and existing for her.  

His eyes fluttered each time his name was sung from her lips, his head tilting each time her fingers ran under his chin. She leaned forward and kissed his lips, Taek-woon watching sorrowfully as Hak-yeon leaned into the kiss, and bit at her lips with an almost ravenous lust. "Hak-yeon..." he whispered, cold tears wetting his cheeks. Hak-yeon whined when Saet-byul pulled away, her turning to look at Taek-woon. Her face brightened.  

"I can say your name now, N," she gushed, turning back around and cupping his face, squishing his cheeks excitedly. "Hak-yeon...Hak-yeon, Hak-yeon, Hak-yeon." Hak-yeon's brow furrowed at the sound, seemingly uncomfortable with the word coming from , but the expression was gone just as quickly and the yearning gaze back in his eyes. "I love the sound of your name. It's such a wonderful name."  

She kissed him again, her nails digging into his hair and pulling at his scalp, breath short. "But I love N more, because only I can say it. That name is mine alone." He pressed his face into her chest, letting out an almost childlike sigh when she hugged his head. "I love you so much N, so, so much. Now that you're here, now that you've come back, I will never let you go. I won't ever let you leave."  

"I won't leave you," he replied, his voice low and cold, the sound causing goosebumps to run across Taek-woon's skin. 

"You're mine. Mine, mine, mine."

She left Hak-yeon in the chair, promising to be back soon as she had to finish preparing dinner for him. She made sure to leave him so they all were able to get a full view of him, his chair placed in a way that he would be staring straight at Taek-woon. She put Sang-hyuk back in Hak-yeon's lap, cupped him in Hak-yeon’s arms so his head lay against the crook of his neck.  

The room was silent for the longest time, Jae-hwan finally asleep in Won-shik’s arms, when a small, tiny voice called out shakenly, "Hak-yeon hyung?"  

Taek-woon looked up to see Hong-bin leaning forward, his chin held just barely above the glass as he stared at Hak-yeon. "Hak-yeon hyung," he called out pitifully, his eyes watering when Hak-yeon didn't move. Hak-yeon never moved unless Saet-byul was there, was still like a real doll until she called him. "Hak-yeon hyung...Bin...Bin really wants his Hak-yeon hyung...please...please look at Bin..."  

"Hong-bin ah..." Taek-woon mumbled, eyes softening when Hong-bin turned to look at him, his large eyes bloodshot and wet. "Hak-yeon...he..." 

"H-Hak-yeon hyung...she killed him, Taek-woon hyung. She killed Hak-yeon hyung and made him empty. She killed him, hyung...she killed him..."  

"No she didn't," he snapped, refused to believe. When Hong-bin started sobbing openly, he quickly lowered his voice. "Hak-yeon is still there, somewhere. We can save him, we just have to get him away from her. We can-" 

"There is no way!" Hong-bin shrieked, kneading his hands against the glass and reopening the barely scabbed wounds. "She did it before, killed a doll by calling his name! She killed him, and then got rid of him because he was dead inside. She killed! She did! Now she killed Hak-yeon hyung, there's no way to save hyung! No way!"  

"No! I won't believe that and I will never let you believe it either!" Hong-bin flinched away at his shout, snapping his mouth shut and silently going back to staring at Hak-yeon. Taek-woon sighed, running his hands through his hair. "Hong-bin ah...there's a way we can escape, where we can get out of here and get Hak-yeon help. But you're the only one who can do anything, you're not locked or chained up." Hong-bin's eyes flickered to his free wrists before looking back to Taek-woon, his eyes widening in fear before fiercely shaking his head.  

"T-too dangerous hyung. S-she'll kill hyung if I try. B-before, before s-she broke when I g-got out. I ha-have to stay. Too dangerous-" 

"All you have to do is let me out, I promise I will figure out a way to get us out of here alive. But we can't stay here. She's going to take Hak-yeon away and kill us, we have to get out of here before that happens." He could see Hong-bin's eyes waver, glancing at Hak-yeon helplessly before his lips, his lips quivering. "Please Hong-bin ah," he called softly, gently, making sure to speak as lovingly as possible to calm him down. "We have to help Hak-yeon, we can't leave him like this."  

"Killed hyung...she killed..." 

"There has to be a way," he pushed, his desperation leaking into his voice. "Hak-yeon, he has to be there somewhere. We can't give up, please Hong-bin ah. Binnie ya...we have to save him."  

"I...I want to save Hak-yeon hyung..." Taek-woon could feel Won-shik staring at him, so curious and hopeful, his hold on Jae-hwan tightening.  

"I won't let anything bad happen to you or Hak-yeon, I promise," Taek-woon said hurriedly, starting to worry at how much time they were wasting. He didn't know when Saet-byul would be back, when she would come down to take Hak-yeon. This was possibly their last chance; once she took him away it would be almost impossible to get him back. "Hurry Hong-bin ah, let's save Hak-yeon."  

Hong-bin looked back and forth between him and Hak-yeon repeatedly before shakenly standing up, his whole body trembling. Taek-woon stood up with him, giving him reassuring encouragement as the younger boy slowly climbed over the glass. Won-shik gently shook Jae-hwan awake, the two of them watching with bated breath as Hong-bin paused to look at Taek-woon worriedly. "You can do it Hong-bin ah," Taek-woon whispered, and Hong-bin shrunk in on himself as he wobbled over to the table. His hands were shaking so badly he was knocking things to the ground as he searched for the keys, crying openly when he finally pulled the key ring out from the torture box.  

The whole while Hak-yeon continued to stare forward, unmoving.  

"Let me out first Hong-bin," Taek-woon said quickly, his whole body twisting anxiously when Hong-bin stuttered over to him, checking each key as fast as he could. The moment his cage lock clicked open, Taek-woon pushed it open and stumbled out, Hong-bin crying out as he caught and steadied him.  

"T-Taek-woon hyung-" 

"Thank you Hong-bin ah," he said lovingly, sweetly, pulling the younger boy into a crushing hug and pressing his lips to the crown of his head. "You've been so brave." Hong-bin clung onto him desperately, his fingers digging deep into Taek-woon's back as if afraid to let go. Taek-woon shushed him, rocked him gently until Hong-bin's sobs quieted to sniffles, the younger boy tearfully looking up at him.  

"Hong-bin ah, I need you to get Hak-yeon, okay? I'm going to help the others out, so all you need to do is get Hak-yeon. Can you do that for me?" Hong-bin stiffened, holding onto him so tightly and fearfully, and Taek-woon pressed another kiss to the side of his head. "I promised you, I won't let anything happen to you or Hak-yeon. You believe me, don't you?" 

Hong-bin nodded, whimpering as he pressed his face close to Taek-woon's chest.  

"Then all you need to do is help Hak-yeon. Hak-yeon loves his Binnie, he'll listen to you." Hong-bin hesitated, glancing back at Hak-yeon again, and his fingers slowly loosened. "I won't be far behind you. I'm just going to get everyone out. Once I'm done, we'll leave together." 

"B-but...she'll come...she'll kill hyung-" 

"I won't let her touch you. I don't lie, remember?" Hong-bin blinked confusedly at him before nodding uncertainly, hiccupping. "Good. Now go help hyung." Hong-bin's eyes were so confused as he finally pulled away from Taek-woon, standing still for a few seconds before turning around and stuttering over to Hak-yeon's side. Hak-yeon was unresponsive to Hong-bin's calling him, his eyes trained forward despite how much the younger boy tugged at his shirt.  

Taek-woon wanted to help, wanted so badly to just gather Hak-yeon in his arms and run away, but he knew he had to help the others. He went to Jae-hwan and Won-shik first, their eyes wide as they watched him unlock their cage, biting their tongues to fight against the failsafe that tore at them when he stepped close. He tried to work as quickly as he could to unlock the chains on their wrists, running away the moment he was done, their sighs of relief at his departure tugging at his heart.  

Chan-yeol was the only one that ran to the front of his cage at the sight of him, lips glued shut from the dolls. He was in the middle of unlocking Chan-yeol's cage, Hong-bin's screams growing louder and louder, when the door suddenly opened, Saet-byul stepping in. Her eyes immediately honed in on Hong-bin trying to lift Hak-yeon out of the chair, her face twisting in a rage.  

"What are you doing?" she screeched, lunging forward and shoving Hong-bin back as hard as she could. Taek-woon turned back and clicked Chan-yeol's lock open as fast as he could, wanting to finish so he could hurry and save Hong-bin.  

"T-Taek-woon hyung!" Taek-woon turned around to see Saet-byul grabbing the knife she kept on the table, holding it high above her head as she turned to Hong-bin on the ground. Taek-woon dropped the keys as he hurriedly ran over to Hong-bin, able to pull the boy into his arms just as the knife came straight down, gasping painfully when he felt the sharp blade slice right through his back.  

"Taek-woon hyung!" Hong-bin screamed, his hands pulling and scratching at him when Taek-woon fell on top of him, his whole back exploding in heated pain. Saet-byul stumbled back, pulling the knife out of him, looking at the bloodied blade in horror.  

"T-Taek-woon oppa, w-what—you weren't—how did you get out? W-why did you jump out? I-I didn't want to hurt you—" 

Taek-woon couldn't move, his back burning so badly, Hong-bin's screams so deafening in his ear. He blinked past the stars and fog clouding his eyes, gasped as his chest clenched and breath shortened. He vaguely felt Hong-bin crawl out from under him, squinting as he tried his best to watch Hong-bin jump at her, wrestling the knife from her. "H-Hong-bin..." he croaked, his body shutting down, eyes so heavy. He could hear the sound of a shout, opened his eyes the best he could to see Hak-yeon with the knife in his stomach, Saet-byul silently screaming above him. He closed his eyes for a long time, struggled so hard to open them again, to get to Hak-yeon, to save Hak-yeon. Hak-yeon...he had to save Hak-yeon. He couldn't let Hak-yeon get hurt, he promised Hong-bin. He promised Binnie.  

The next time he opened his eyes Saet-byul was the one on the ground, the knife deep in her chest, her eyes empty as she stared blankly back at him. He felt himself being lifted off the ground, his body so heavy he couldn't help, hanging limply in their arms. "Hang in there," the voice said, the sound so muffled he could barely hear.  

"Taek-woon hyung!"  

"-okay, Bin...okay...be fine." 

Taek-woon blinked lazily, eyes swimming around in his head, looked down at Saet-byul's still body one last time before being jostled, his wound burning terribly. Hong-bin's face flashed before his eyes, tears staining his cheeks, and the feeling of Hong-bin's lips brushing his was the last thing he remembered before his whole world stopped.  

-- 

. 

.. 

…. 

….... 

She was dying. It was painful, the knife embedded deep in her chest so painful she couldn't even try and gasp for air. She could feel with each passing second a piece of her fall away, each attempted gasp another second of her life vanishing. As she lay there, body convulsing as it tried its best to figure out a way to survive, her hand still wrapped around the handle of the blade, she felt her eyes water.  

This was the end.  

She was going to die.  

And she wasn't sad.  

"I'm sorry, N," she whispered, despite having watched N being taken away, the others frantically trying to stop the blood that gushed from his stomach. From the wound that she herself inflicted. The moment she saw N shove Hong-bin away, felt her hand sail through the air anyway, felt the knife lodge itself deep in her precious N's stomach, she knew what she had to do.  

She now knew why everyone tried so hard to keep her away. She understood now why she was too dangerous for him, why even her mother tried to tell her to stay away. She would never be good enough for someone as perfect as N. As long as she was a doll maker, had her mother's blood running through her veins, she would never be happy. No matter what she did, she would always bring unhappiness and pain to her beautiful N, would destroy him. She knew that now, and knew now what she had to do to make her N happy, to truly free him.  

For as long as she was alive, she would always hover over him, would always bring the potential threat of destroying him.  

So she had to get rid of that threat.  

In hindsight, she wished there was a way to do it that wasn't so slow and painful, but she figured this was a good enough punishment for all the death and suffering she had caused. Her hand, so heavy now, fell away from the knife, and her eyes looked over to where Sang-hyuk's body was supposed to lay. She blinked confusedly when she saw Sang-hyuk sitting a little ways away from her, so alive, smiling his warming smile.  

"Hi Byullie," he called out cheerfully, and her chest clenched painfully, this time not from the knife dug deep in her .  

"H-hyu...Hyuk...kie..." 

"Don’t worry. It's not so bad, after a while you don't feel anything anymore."  

She choked on blood clogging , gargling as she tried desperately to answer. The voices were maddening in her head, screaming at her to get up, to get help, do something to try and survive. They were frantic, yelling at her to get N back, but she just couldn't muster up the energy to listen to them. She squeezed her eyes shut as she pushed them to the back of her mind and, for the first time in months, her mind was silent. Empty. She looked back over to Sang-hyuk, him still smiling at her.  

"I-I-I'm...I-I'm sorry...Hyukkie..."  

He waved his hand dismissively at her, grinning.  

"I see now how crazy you've become. I should have done something to help you sooner, but I guess this was as good as any." 

She could feel the blood trickling out of , her body so cold.  

"Jae-hwan hyung was right. I should have left you alone." 

"H-H-Hyu-Hyukkie..." 

It was taking longer and longer to blink, longer and longer to register what he was saying.  

"I did love you Saet-byul. I loved you a lot. I only wanted to make you happy."  

Her body managed to make a couple tears, could feel them mingle with her blood.  

"But I see now why you never wanted me. You and Hak-yeon hyung were pretty ed up together."  

"I-I...I did…Hyukkie..." stopped moving, her tongue numb, and as her vision failed with Sang-hyuk's smile the last thing she saw, she finished her last wish in her head, hoping Sang-hyuk could still hear her. She only hoped that wherever she went after this, it was far, far away from wherever Sang-hyuk went. Sang-hyuk was too wonderful, too undeserving, to go to the vile, hell-filled hole she was bound to go.  

He was too good for her.

As she died, gasping one last time, she wished that she could have told Hyukkie how much she had loved him too.