Chapter 31 {interlude}
Take My HandHe was dead. He had been dead for years, though how many he wasn't sure anymore. After the first few days, time just seemed to morph into one long continuous stream. The only thing he could see and hear was her, Saet-byul-- privy to all of her thoughts and feelings and wishes. He had been confused and disorientated at first, unable to remember who he was or where or why he was here. He had panicked at first, was terrified when he didn't have a body and was unable to remember anything.
But it slowly came back, each memory appearing in a fuzzy haze before eventually coming back in jarring clarity. He remembered his brother, the anger and frustration he felt when his brother would follow him around. He remembered walking into the house, of being turned into a doll and shoved into the basement. He remembered waking up to see a wide-eyed, confused boy who would turn into his most trusted confident, of watching the others trapped with him be tortured in front of him.
He remembered being brought up to meet Saet-byul, to play with and entertain her, and he remembered coming up to see his brother standing next to her, a doll himself all because he tried to save him. He remembered the guilt he felt when he saw his brother, the guilt when he found out his brother's fate as Saet-byul's personal slave. He remembered wanting to do anything to save him, remembered how he agreed to use his doll as a test to see if they could really run away. He remembered his brother's crying face as he held his hand, his hands so warm and reassuring, and he remembered how he actually wasn't afraid as he watched his doll and life be slowly pricked away. He couldn't be afraid when his brother was there with him, smiling through his tears and doing his best to be strong for him.
His brother's smile was the last thing he remembered before waking up like this, and that smile was what eventually brought everything back.
He wasn't the only one here, there were hundreds of others here with him, all hovering over Saet-byul and watching her with anticipation and malevolence. They all followed her around, reaching out to try and grab her yet were unable to, as if there was something preventing them. Most didn't even seem to notice him, their eyes never tearing away from Saet-byul, but some of the others would speak to him.
'Your memories are clear because you are new. The longer you're here the less and less important those memories become, until there is nothing left worth remembering.' He looked over to the dolls around Saet-byul, saw that there was nothing about them except malice and hatred. He thought back to his brother's smile and was filled with warmth, and one of the others smiled.
'Keep that memory. It will help you survive here.'
As the time he expected to be years passed by, he slowly learned from the others about what he was and where they were. Dolls, they had all been dolls at one point, dolls that the women in this family had tortured and killed. Once a doll died, they came here, unable to pass on or do anything other than just 'exist'. The others could only do so much with him, he had been killed by Saet-byul herself, the first one. The others had been killed by her mother, grandmother, and so on. But who was killed by who didn't matter much in the end. They only had one purpose now.
To torture and push Saet-byul to kill more.
He didn't and couldn't understand why they, as previous dolls, would want them to hurt others, to do the same thing to other people. He could never imagine why, and dreaded the day Saet-byul would cave and start to do the same thing her mother did. The others scoffed at him, told him he would understand one day. As the memories disappeared, so did the humanity that lingered with them. Soon watching and feeling the pain of others would be what gave them purpose.
Soon he would join in and push her to kill.
It was here that he was able to feel the intensity and passion behind how much Saet-byul loved Hak-yeon, could feel it radiating in every pore of her body and occupying her every thought. It was ironic, when he had been alive he had been so worried about Hak-yeon turning into a vegetable that only lived for Saet-byul. Yet here they were, Hak-yeon wanting nothing to do with her and Saet-byul hanging onto every little thing she could find to stay with him.
The others used his brother as leverage, nearly pounced on the chance when Baek-hyun and Chan-yeol took him and Bin away. It was like a frenzy, everyone digging at her and shouting over each other, howling when she tried to block them out. They were elated when she threw the dolls out, were practically foaming when she tore that one doll to pieces. In no time at all, Se-hun appeared next to him, confused and disorientated.
With each doll she killed, they grew stronger, and while he tried his best to stay away, even he could feel it. He felt fuller, stronger, bigger-- as she started to wither away and crumble, they only pushed harder, their clutches tightening around her. They fed on her confusion, her fear, her love for Hak-yeon, and through it all he tried his best to stop her. He honestly felt nothing for her, didn't really care if she was in pain or suffering. He only worried about his brother, and as he watched her slowly fall deeper and deeper into the insanity they were creating, he feared Hak-yeon wasn't safe.
The others hated when he would try and stop her, would do their best to scream over him and block her ears from his calls.
She heard him occasionally, would stop when he told her to, but as she grew worse she started to ignore him too.
He spent his eternity like that, watching and listening in a state of listlessness as he watched her try and take dolls apart. Some part of him wondered why watching her do that caused him discomfort, though he wasn't sure. His memory was starting to fade at points. He watched until one day someone burst through the door, and it took him a good while to realize that the one pleading and hugging her was his brother.
As they argued, he moved to stare at his brother, his eyes scanning Hak-yeon's every being in bewilderment at how his bright, sunny brother had turned into this sad, resigned shell of himself. His ghostly, nonexistent fingers lingered over Hak-yeon's eyes, trailing down his nose and resting on his bottom lip. Hak-yeon...how had his brother turned into this? Was this because of what he was to Saet-byul? He wrapped himself around his brother, could feel him shiver underneath.
"You saw Seok-jin die, saw him burn to death right in front of us. Do you know how much it hurts every time I think of my baby brother? That I was the one that said it was okay? Every day I think of how I was the one that allowed that to happen, all because we were trying to figure out how to free me. My brother died because of me."
No, that was not true! He tried to hold his brother tighter but only ended up passing through him, feeling himself pulling back towards Saet-byul. His brother shouldn't be holding that kind of guilt, it wasn't his fault. He had pushed Saet-byul to do it, not because he was afraid of using Hak-yeon's doll, but because he wanted to be the one to figure out how to free his brother. To free Hak-yeon from his fate. He had done it for his brother, and while he died, he was thankful his brother was still alive.
'Hyung,' he tried to call out, but the others were pulling him back, screaming loudly at Saet-byul to kill everyone. Kill everyone that kept Hak-yeon away from her to bring him back. He knew that wouldn't work, Hak-yeon hated death. He would hate her, abhor her. The others smothered him, tore away at him to keep him quiet, and he felt little by little his everything being torn away.
'Kill them all!' They screamed, cackling when she screamed that very thing back to Hak-yeon, holding him even harder when he struggled.
'They're keeping him away, all those mindless dolls.'
'If you get rid of them, he'll come back.'
He could barely see his brother run away, the others overwhelming him. Saet-byul collapsed to the floor, crying, her desperation and heartbreak at Hak-yeon running away emanating in waves. They latched onto that, goading her and pushing her.
'That Jung Taek-woon, he has been keeping your N away.'
'Get rid of him first, destroy him so he can't keep him away again.'
'And that Hong-bin-'
'Tear him to pieces!'
'How dare he even think of stealing your N's precious love!'
'Kill them all!'
No! Not Bin! He managed to claw his way out, reaching out to Saet-byul, desperate to be heard.
'Don't do it Saet-byul. This won't bring him back!'
'Stay away from him!'
'He will hate you forever if you do this!'
The others growled as they ripped into him, tearing him apart and destroying him. He cried out, feeling his memories being ripped away, yet he couldn't look away from Saet-byul, trying his best to stop her. He watched her grab the knife and head into the room where she kept the two dolls she made. Their claws dug deeper, ripped out the memories of his mother, of his happy childhood until there was nothing left. He could only hear screams, howls to kill, to tear apart, to stop, to leave him alone, to save him. Through the hands that tore at him, he could see Joon-myeon trying to grab him, and he wrenched away from his hands.
They grabbed at the last part of him, the image of his brother's smile, of Hak-yeon holding his hand and promising that everything will be alright. They tugged, ready to tear it to pieces, to turn him into one of them. Their hollow, empty eyes glared gleefully down at him, crushing it spitefully before yanking it right out, destroying the last bit of his past self that he had held onto so dearly.
And with that, the last bit of sanity Saet-byul had managed to hold onto disappeared along with him.
Hello!
Oh my goodness, when I first started this interlude, it was just meant to show that the voices were previous dolls and that Seok-jinnie had been trying all along to keep Saet-byul sane. It never was meant to destroy him completely. I feel so empty now, and I'm the one that wrote it ;--;
I'm telling you, this story is writing itself at this point.
(Though don't worry, the storyline hasn't changed and is still going to end the same way.)
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